So, have you picked a date yet?

Ugh. No one warned me that have you picked a date yet would be the most frequently asked question once we got engaged. I didn’t think I would hear that question so soon, and I wasn’t prepared to give an answer. Once we were engaged, we shared the good news with our family and friends, and I did two things:

  1. I took the obligatory ring selfie and posted it to Facebook and Instagram.
  2. I started my wedding planning Pinterest board.

That’s it. That’s as far as I got.

Team Take Your Time versus Team Get It Done

As the weeks passed, I realized that there were two schools of thought on the subject. On one team were the folks who encouraged me to take my time and get married in 18 to 24 months. On the other team were the folks who encouraged me to get married in a year or less. I also realized that most people felt strongly about which side they were on and were not afraid to share their opinion. Luckily, I’m pretty easygoing and didn’t mind hearing everyone’s thoughts on the subject. It gave me some food for thought, but I was acutely aware that my fiance and I would be the ones to decide what worked best for us.

What to do, what to do.

If money were no object, there wouldn’t have been a debate. I would have run full steam ahead and planned a beautiful wedding and married my beloved as soon as possible. But, alas, money is an obstacle and my fiance and I need time to save. Not an uncommon situation for many couples, especially those who are paying for their weddings themselves. Now, I’m sure you’re thinking, “Kimberly, if you know you need time to save money then you must be on Team Take Your Time — why the debate?” Good question BABs: You’re right, it should have been a simple decision. But, of course, what makes sense isn’t necessarily what the heart wants.

I knew it would take us at least year and a half to save money for the wedding plus six months to plan it, but I didn’t want to wait that long. The idea of waiting two years to marry the love of my life made me a little sad. We could have eloped and had a little party to celebrate afterward, but I wanted to walk down the aisle with my father, in a beautiful dress, surrounded by close family and friends. I couldn’t imagine my wedding any other way. Hence, the set-the-date debate.

Decisions, decisions.

After going back and forth on the subject, I sat down with my fiance to talk it through. I shared with him my thoughts, and we talked about the pros and cons of each option. As we spoke, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to have my dream wedding if we rushed. I didn’t want an extravagant wedding, but I did want a beautiful one. To make my dream a reality, I would need time to not only save money but to do the various DIY projects that would make our wedding uniquely us. We decided that two years was doable, and taking our time would not be the end of the world. In fact, I’m willing to bet that when I’m in the middle of planning the wedding, I’ll be wanting some of those months back.

Why yes, we have set a date … sort of.

While we decided to get married in 2019, it’s too early to book a venue and set an official date. We do know we want a summer wedding, and since I want an outdoor ceremony, we don’t want to go too late into summer and melt while we say our I do’s. So … now when anyone asks me, have you two set a date, I can smile and say June 2019.

How did you end up picking your date? Were you Team Hurry Up or Team Take it Slow?

  • 6/23

    Happy Thursday, BABs! Today’s CAI/GOI request is from reader Jenny, who is searching for a Rue de Seine “Haze” look-alike for under £1,000 (approximately $1,300) and available in the UK. She writes:

    “Hi, I really love Rue de Seine’s Haze dress but only have a budget of max £1000. Do you know of any similar but cheaper dresses out there & available in the UK?
    Thanks, Jenny”

    The Rue de Seine gowns are very popular with BABers, and it’s not hard too see why.  Each of the gown designs are gorgeous and have a unique flair to them.  In this case, the embroidered skirt look provides an extra ‘Je ne sais pas’ to make it truly unique.  Jenny, you are in the UK, and I will try my best.  Most online shops will chip worldwide, but I’ll do my best to look around for UK shops as well.  I’ll focus on that textured skirt that the Haze gown has going for it.  Wish me luck!

    Rue de Seine’s Haze gown


    Pandora Wedding Dress; £495 (approx. $640) by Phase Eight

    The Josephine; $850 (approx. £650) by Fame and Partners

    The Kensie; $700 (approx. £540) by Fame and Partners

    Naya Dress; $350 (approx. £270) by BHLDN

    Aurora Gown; $1,000 (approx. £770) by BHLDN

    A Star is Born Embellished Sheer Insert Long Sleeve Maxi Dress; $550 (approx. £425) by ASOS

    Pearl Katherine Wedding Dress; £395 (approx. $510) by Phase Eight

    Anabella frilled bridal dress; £360(approx. $465) by Nine by Savannah Miller Ivory

    Aura wedding dress; £550 (approx. $710) by Phase Eight

    Andi Lace Dress; £364 (approx. $470) by BCBG MAXAZRIA

    Marilyne swirl lace cutout gown; £300 (approx. $400) by BCBG MAXAZRIA

    Isolde; £950(approx. $1225) by Rebecca Ingram

    Each of these textured or embroidered gown offers something unique.  What do you think, Jenny?  Anything strike your fancy?

    Got a gown that you just can’t get off your mind? We’re happy to help you get over it! Just tell us in the comments below! Please remember to include the budget you’re working with so we can find you the best alternative for you. Please be aware, though, that because you guys love this column so much, we can often build up quite the queue and it may be a while before we can get to your dream dress. Rest assured, though, Team Broke-Ass is on the case!

    *As always, please do your own research before buying a gown online. Team Broke-Ass is here to provide you with inspiration and resources, but it is up to the consumer to know what they’re purchasing.
  • 6/21

    Early in my engagement, literally in the first few months of adorning my new bling, I shared with friends that I planned to plant a rose garden and DIY my wedding bouquet and flowers. Of course everyone thought that I was crazy and that eventually the idea would fade as I began to make decisions and evaluate how much time I would have during the…

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    Hey everyone! Sorry for the week off, I was dealing with some family issues but I'm back! So when we went to the bridal expo a few months back, we signed up to do our wedding registry at Bed, Bath & Beyond. I'm not going to lie, I didn't even know if we were going to do a registry, but they tempted me with the…

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    I got engaged Memorial Day Weekend in 2016. We set our wedding date for September of the next year because September is a special month for us and it gave us about 15 months to save for our wedding. I asked all my girls to be my bridesmaids and I was locked and loaded to go. I was trying to be gracious. Then one of…

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  • 6/14

    Bride to be cellphone case from Etsy seller Guestbookery Originally, we had planned to do evites but I got so much pushback from the "elders" about using that technology that I gave up the fight and went the traditional route of paper invitations. While they are gorgeous and I'm happy with how they turned out, the price tag didn't bring me much happiness, nor did…

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    Hello fellow BABs! I'm back with Part 2 of my Ten Broke-Ass Bride Commandments. I know you have wedding planning and general badassery to get to; so let's get right into it. Ten Broke-Ass Bride Commandments 6. Thou Shalt Not Feel Guilty for Cutting your Guest List. The size of your guest list is what drives up the cost of your wedding; mo’ guests equals mo’ money…

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    Wedding countdown chalkboard available from Etsy seller LavishLilLuxuries Earlier this month, it was the one-year anniversary of the day he proposed. Not to sound cliche, but I cant believe how much time has flown since then. We've also hit the three-month countdown until the wedding and that is an incredibly exciting and yet terrifying feeling. While we have all of our gotten our vendors booked, deposits…

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  • 6/9

    Welcome back CAI/GOI lovers!  Today's request is from reader Terri, who commented on this post: Hi! I landed on this page while searching Amsale-inspired dresses! I'm in love with the Amsale-inspired May, specifically the minimalistic style and elegant sheer look and buttons on the back, and am hoping to find an alternative for under $1000! Please help!! Hi Terri! We are happy to see more…

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