So, have you picked a date yet?
Ugh. No one warned me that have you picked a date yet would be the most frequently asked question once we got engaged. I didn’t think I would hear that question so soon, and I wasn’t prepared to give an answer. Once we were engaged, we shared the good news with our family and friends, and I did two things:
- I took the obligatory ring selfie and posted it to Facebook and Instagram.
- I started my wedding planning Pinterest board.
That’s it. That’s as far as I got.
Team Take Your Time versus Team Get It Done
As the weeks passed, I realized that there were two schools of thought on the subject. On one team were the folks who encouraged me to take my time and get married in 18 to 24 months. On the other team were the folks who encouraged me to get married in a year or less. I also realized that most people felt strongly about which side they were on and were not afraid to share their opinion. Luckily, I’m pretty easygoing and didn’t mind hearing everyone’s thoughts on the subject. It gave me some food for thought, but I was acutely aware that my fiance and I would be the ones to decide what worked best for us.
What to do, what to do.
If money were no object, there wouldn’t have been a debate. I would have run full steam ahead and planned a beautiful wedding and married my beloved as soon as possible. But, alas, money is an obstacle and my fiance and I need time to save. Not an uncommon situation for many couples, especially those who are paying for their weddings themselves. Now, I’m sure you’re thinking, “Kimberly, if you know you need time to save money then you must be on Team Take Your Time — why the debate?” Good question BABs: You’re right, it should have been a simple decision. But, of course, what makes sense isn’t necessarily what the heart wants.
I knew it would take us at least year and a half to save money for the wedding plus six months to plan it, but I didn’t want to wait that long. The idea of waiting two years to marry the love of my life made me a little sad. We could have eloped and had a little party to celebrate afterward, but I wanted to walk down the aisle with my father, in a beautiful dress, surrounded by close family and friends. I couldn’t imagine my wedding any other way. Hence, the set-the-date debate.
After going back and forth on the subject, I sat down with my fiance to talk it through. I shared with him my thoughts, and we talked about the pros and cons of each option. As we spoke, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to have my dream wedding if we rushed. I didn’t want an extravagant wedding, but I did want a beautiful one. To make my dream a reality, I would need time to not only save money but to do the various DIY projects that would make our wedding uniquely us. We decided that two years was doable, and taking our time would not be the end of the world. In fact, I’m willing to bet that when I’m in the middle of planning the wedding, I’ll be wanting some of those months back.
Why yes, we have set a date … sort of.
While we decided to get married in 2019, it’s too early to book a venue and set an official date. We do know we want a summer wedding, and since I want an outdoor ceremony, we don’t want to go too late into summer and melt while we say our I do’s. So … now when anyone asks me, have you two set a date, I can smile and say June 2019.