2/17

Finding the love of your life and taking that next big step towards forever is a blissful time of your life, but what happens when someone you love has life experiences that are giving them a broken heart?

caring for friends

Whether it’s the ending of a relationship, loss of a loved one, money, job or health troubles, certain struggles can zap the celebration spirit right out of a person, even if they love you dearly and share your joy. It’s ok to feel disappointment and to go on with your excitement, but taking the time to specially care for your loved one in their time of need can make the situation better for everyone involved.

Remember their pain is not your fault.

You didn’t cause the pain your friend is feeling, and even though it can feel unfair to go one with your happiness while someone you love is hurting, it’s really not. They almost certainly don’t feel it is, either. Being sensitive to their needs can help dissolve any potential bitterness and may even give you a needed break from all of the weddingland craziness.

Let them set the pace.

Everyone reacts to tragedy differently, so don’t be shy about asking how involved they want to be and make sure they know they can change their minds. Assuming someone doesn’t want to be involved in fun trips like outfit shopping (or, in my case, anything followed by the word “tasting“) can hurt more than it helps. Extend the invitation, but be gracious if the answer is no.

Set aside time just for them.

This is just a good practice in general, but loved ones going through a rough patch or all-out heartbreak really deserve the extra attention. Help out by taking care of a need — whether a daunting chore or a fun night out — and focus your energy on them, rather than wedding plans.

Show up for the big things.

The mean curveballs life can throw often come with life-altering events that are an excellent opportunity to show your support: medical treatments, funerals, an unexpected move … stopping your day to be there may sound like a given, but it goes a long way to someone in need of that support.

Honor their requests for discretion.

When you’re going through a time of personal trouble, one of the hardest things can be to keep positive while well-meaning outsiders ask questions. If your brother is going through a divorce or your best friend lost her job, they may not want to share the details with the people they meet through parties and get-togethers that sometimes accompany an engagement. Unless they ask you to pass on their regrets to others, keep the bad news within their circle and allow them to put on a happy face if that’s what works best for them.

Be mindful of money troubles and help where you can.

This is especially true for people in the wedding party. It’s no secret that being a part of the wedding can rack up some serious dollar signs, so whether their expendable cash is simply lacking or their money troubles are rooted in outside trouble, look for ways to keep costs down. Besides, choosing budget friendly options for wedding attire and party destinations never hurts!

Be prepared to let them off the hook.

It’s never easy to back out of a commitment, so if it gets to that point, understand they’re likely as disappointed as you are. Give them time to heal and look for other fun ways to bond and celebrate the special relationship you have. Being flexible lets them know how important they are to you and spending time together is a good reminder for you that even though times might be difficult for them, they still care about you and your happiness.

Have you run into a sticky situation while planning your wedding? Need some advice on how to handle it? Let us know in the comments below!

  • 2/15

    Affiliate Disclaimer NewWe’re all about finding fab frocks for less, and we’re always super thrilled to get an amazing deal. Whether it’s your priority to not spend a ton of dollars on your dress because you think you’ll only wear it once and you’d rather allocate the cash to something that lasts longer (hello, photography!) or you’re boot-scootin’ it to the courthouse — big party be damned! — we’re here for you. And that’s why we got giddy as hell when we noticed ModCloth had some serious wedding dress inventory marked down … like, way down. Like, under $100 down. I mean, GIRL.

    If you’ve been considering getting a reception dress, now’s your chance. If you’ve been dying to find something super unique and retro-adorbz, get on it. If you really just want a few options to wear to various pre-wedding parties, GET ON IT.

    Here are a few of our favorite wedding styles currently under $100 at ModCloth:

    ModCloth A Love Above the Rest Dress

    A Love Above The Rest Dress, $69.99

    ModCloth At a Rosette Time Dress

    At A Rosette Time Sequin Dress, $59.99ModCloth Beauty Beyond Words Dress

    Beauty Beyond Words Dress, $44.99ModCloth Bliss Way Up Dress

    Bliss Way Up Dress, $74.99ModCloth Bride and Precedence Dress

    Bride and Precedence, $29.99ModCloth Cast an Elegance Dress

    Cast an Elegance Dress, $44.99ModCloth Collar ID Lace Dress

    Collar ID Dress, $44.99

    ModCloth Cordially Delighted Lace Dress

    Cordially Delighted Dress, $89.99ModCloth Dignified Delivery Shirt Dress

    Dignified Delivery Dress, $26.99ModCloth Enchants Encounter Dress

    Enchants Encounter Dress, $87.99ModCloth Fast Track to Fanciful Dress

    Fast Track to Fanciful Dress, $52.99ModCloth Grand Staircase Entry Dress

    Grand Staircase Entry Dress, $44.99ModCloth Here Comes the Stride Dress

    Here Comes the Stride Dress, $39.99ModCloth Let it Betrothed Dress

    Let It Betrothed, $37.99
    ModCloth Make some Poise Dress

    Make Some Poise Dress, $87.99ModCloth Memorable Matrimony Dress

    Memorable Matrimony Dress, $74.99ModCloth Ritzy Wishes Sheath Dress

    Ritzy Wishes Sheath, $44.99
    ModCloth Slow Dance Splendor Dress

    Slow Dance Splendor, $52.99ModCloth Synchronized Sweetness Dress

    Synchronized Sweetness Lace Dress, $29.99ModCloth The Exchanging of Wows Dress

    The Exchanging of Wows Dress, $89.99ModCloth The World Was Full of Wonderful Dress

    The World Was Full of Wonderful Dress, $29.99ModCloth Tulle Love and Cherish Dress

    Tulle Love and Cherish Dress, $34.99ModCloth Wedding Belle Lace Dress

    Wedding Belle Lace Dress, $34.99ModCloth Where There's Life, There's Elope Dress

    Where There’s Life There’s Elope Dress, $52.99

    Oh, and there are lots, lots more.

    With this kind of selection, why even bother shelling out oodles of cash for a wedding dress? Head over to ModCloth to shop these styles now!

    christen
  • 2/14

    Real Bride Ciji's Invitation

    Invitations are just one of those things on my list that are not super important. At least they weren't important in the beginning. Of course, slowly but surely as I started to confirm my wedding vision my thoughts started to shift. I naturally began to consider foil cut designs, envelope liners and beautiful calligraphy until I realized that these extras were costly and time was…

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    2/13

    398667_142154549269195_1366726814_n

    Greeting lads and ladies, its that time of year again -- Valentine’s Day. As a newly engaged couple, this is probably one of your least stressful romance holidays. You’ve already got the ring, so there is no sitting on the edge of your seat and quietly hoping. One huge hurdle down, but here’s the clincher: you’re planning a wedding and broke as church mice. Wedding…

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    2/10

    Etsy TamarasTreasureTrove Hair Cut and Shave Sign

    Vintage Sign available from Etsy seller TamarasTreasureTrove Shaving. It can be kind of a pain in the ass, but we have to do it. Even if you have a beard, there’s some maintenance that needs to be done. For your wedding day, I’d 100% recommend you have a professional barber clean you up, but not all of us have that kind of time or cash.…

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  • 2/9

    Pallas Couture Edythe front

    Today’s CAI/GOI request is for a look-alike dress of "Edythe" from Pallas Couture's 2010 collection. Reader CircusorBust commented on this post with: "I love these posts! They have helped me so much. The gown I am trying to find an alternative to is Edythe by Pallas Couture. I am trying to find something under $400. Any kind of dress that is similar to this in style I…

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    2/8

    bachparty

    I am totally married and stuff, but I just realized I never filled you guys in on my amazing bachelorette party. For shame! My bestie/bridesmaid Adrienne went above and beyond and made it the perfect day. It's such a fantastic feeling to know your friends just get you and want to celebrate with you. I love sports. Other than the whole marrying Russel thing, my…

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    2/7

    challengeaccepted

    Now that we're introduced, let me tell you about some details of our wedding! There were two reasons that I hesitated when it came to starting the wedding planning adventure: 1) When I Googled "how to plan a wedding" (yes, I seriously did that), the one big thing that every site said we "must" do was figure out a budget. Money is gross. Budgeting is…

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  • 2/6

    stickit

    I want to talk about body image. The pressure to look "perfect" in your dress on your big day. Bridal boot camps! Shredding for the wedding! Your 28-day pre-wedding detox diet! Finally drop those last 5/10/20 pounds for your big day! Blah blah blah. I’m going to get real with you for a sec. I have more than my fair share of body image issues.…

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