7/2

Affiliate Disclaimer New

Hello BABs! Today’s CAI?/GOI! is the Part 2 to yesterday’s Part 1. Check it out if you missed it – there’s a fantastic reader story!  And if you’re looking for more goddess-inspired gowns, you might like the ones in the Rue de Seine Sadi post.

Today’s Part 2 is a hunt for reader Kary’s home reception gown:

For our home reception, I’d love a gown like the Vilora gown by Alena Gortskaya, Papilio Fashion House. Unfortunately, this gown is no longer produced. I love the flutter sleeves, soft ruffles, and subtle embellishment. I don’t care as much about the top angled layer of the skirt, but do love the movement and ease of the skirt. I would not want either dress to be stiffer, heavier fabric.

Kary’s instructions are clear: soft, fluttery, and subtle embellishment. Are you ready for the second half of my one-two punch? Here it comes!

Can't Afford It

Vilora

Vilora Gown, Alena Goretskaya for Papilio Fashion House, $$$$

Get Over It

Bonny 6511

Bonny Wedding Dresses, Style 6511, $438 at Best Bridal Prices

AP Macy's

Adrianna Papell Cap-Sleeve Embellished Sunburst Gown, $180 at Macy’s

Pallas Athena

Pallas Athena PA9196, $670 at Best Bridal Prices

MS Payton

Maggie Sottero Payton 4MC034, $1,098 at Best Bridal Prices

AP Cap Sleeve Macy's

Adrianna Papell Cap Sleeve Tiered Gown, $239 at Macy’s

Jenny Yoo Cecilia

Jenny Yoo Cecilia, $275 at Nordstrom

J.Crew Heidi

Heidi Gown, $595 at J.Crew

Aidan Mattox

Aidan Mattox Dolman Sleeve Beaded Godet Gown, $357 at Saks Fifth Avenue

Haute Hippy

Haute Hippie Ruffled Hi-Low Maxi Dress, $238 at Saks Fifth Avenue

Tiered Chiffon Halter

Embellished Tiered Chiffon Halter Gown, $238 at Nordstrom

(Also available in white.)

Rachel Zoe Ruffled Maxi

Rachel Zoe Ruffle Maxi Gown, $595 at Shopbop

1920s' Flutter Sleeve

1920’s Flutter Sleeve Dress, $175 at Etsy seller AxisVintageClothing

ML Chiffon V-Neck

Monique Lhuiller Sleeveless V-Neck Chiffon Gown, $275 at Nordstrom

(Also in Champagne.)

Jenny Yoo Vivienne

Jenny Yoo Vivienne, $280 at Nordstrom

Want more coverage or breezy embellishment for any of the above? Check out the wispy capelets below:

Sheer Capelet Etsy

Sheer Wedding Capelet, $48 by Etsy seller bustle

Trickling Capelet

Trickling Capelet, $140 at BHLDN

Mikaella Cape M211

Mikaella Bridal Cape Style M211, $$$ at Mikaella Bridal

Lisa’s Bonus Pro Tip: While I’m a believer in breaking wedding “rules” that don’t work for you, choosing a gown that suits your venue not only keeps you comfortable, but it can also protect your purse. Gowns categorized as “destination gowns” are often more BAB-friendly and lightweight for beach or outdoor weddings. Know your fabrics, too: chiffon, poly blends, and silk will be lighter weight than taffeta, satin, crepe or dupioni. 

Kary, I hope I was able to help in your epic search for two ethereal gowns – let me know in the comments what you think!

Got a gown that you just can’t get off your mind? We’re happy to help you get over it! Just tell us in the comments below! Please remember to include the budget you’re working with so we can find you the best alternative for you.

*As always, please do your own research before buying a gown online. Team Broke-Ass is here to provide you with inspiration and resources, but it is up to the consumer to know what they’re purchasing.
  • 7/2

    You know those people who say “My give-a-damn’s busted?” I’m so jealous of those people.

    My give-a-damn is never busted. It goes on and on, seemingly forever, spinning until all those imaginary gears are overheated and I’m the one busted, but still fully giving every ounce of “damn” on can give about everyone and everything else.

    I’ve been in some stage of wedding planning for about a year, and with just under three months to go, there are a lot of plans that need to be finalized and announced. I’ve been bucked on everything by someone since the beginning, from choosing a Friday night date, to choosing an adults-only affair, to being “too traditional” (and in some cases, not traditional enough), so now I’m suffering from a serious case of predictive anxiety. I’m terrified that the moment I declare something will be a certain way or date or time, or heaven forbid ask anyone to do anything, I’m going be met with irritation because I apparently intentionally picked the worst possible thing/time/day just to piss YOU off.

    I’ve realized that I’m taking on a ridiculous amount of guilt and shame, and not just about spending money. I’ve felt guilty about registering for gifts. I’ve felt guilty about choosing a venue that isn’t centrally located for most of my guests. I’ve felt shame for gaining weight after purchasing my wedding dress and because I’m afraid of not being “pretty enough” to make people happy. I’ve been embarrassed that top shelf liquor isn’t in the budget. There’s guilt because we established a guest list and have since made new friends. Seeing a pattern here?

    Guys, it’s got to stop.

    One thing I’ve become increasingly aware of through this process is that if I’m dealing with something, someone else is, too. Since I’m the one with the public platform, I frequently choose to air my dirty laundry, so to speak, and usually, someone out there ends up feeling a little more human for finding out they’re not alone. If my being honest can help a fellow BAB out, then by golly, I’m going to keep being honest.

    The truth is, I’ve lost my joy.

    I dumped my planned topic for the week Tuesday when I had a holy-hell meltdown over a bridal shower guest list and started writing this. I confessed to my mother that I was no longer looking forward to the wedding; I was looking forward to that following Sunday when we’ll probably go watch football with our friends and everything will start going back to normal. Now, I really love football, but to be looking forward to week three noon game more than my WEDDING? I’d say that’s a sign that something needs to change. I’ve gotten to the point where I no longer see this as “our” day; I see it as everyone else’s. As the bride, I’ve managed to quit seeing myself as one of the people getting married and thusly celebrated. Instead, I’ve started feeling like my job is to look perfect for everyone so that they aren’t made to feel uncomfortable looking at less than a perfectly aesthetically pleasing figure, all while flawlessly throwing a party that makes everyone happy. That whole part about marrying the love of my life feels like the boring part people have to sit through until the free booze comes out. Priorities, much?

    Barbie doll or a real bride? || Real Bride Shannon: When Your Give-a-Damn's on Overload
    source

    Now, I typically like to discuss ways I’ve cleared the hurdles of wedding planning, but in this case, I’m not really fit to tell anyone what to do to make it better; I can only share my resolutions and the practical ways I intend will go about putting them into practice. I’ve had an irrational fear of the Bridezilla title since the moment I said yes, and while it’s all well and good to be conscientious and respectful of other people’s feelings, there comes a time when we need to put our needs at the forefront of our plans.

    That time is now. Seriously, it doesn’t matter what stage of planning you’re in; you need to claim this period for your own. The idea that standing up for yourself and saying, “This is just the way it needs to be,” labels you as a Bridezilla is sickeningly misogynistic (because even if you’re a Broke-Ass Groom, you’re being attacked with the accusation that you’re “acting like a woman”). Personally, telling me that I can’t make everyone happy sends me into an obsessive whirlwind of soul-sucking attempt to prove them wrong. I am a pathological people pleaser. Like, if I could have a super power, I’d forego flying and invisibility for the ability to make everyone happy. It comes from a good place, but it’s also the source of many neuroses. Rather than focusing on can’t, I have to think about the reasons I shouldn’t have to.

    Conflict-free scheduling is a pipe dream when you’re talking about a guest list of more than about four. It’s good of you to scan your calendar for birthdays or other couples’ anniversaries. You may want to consider relatively universal business conflicts like the end of the fiscal year, but if the “conflict” comes out of anything minor, it’s time to shrug it off. Are you catching trouble for inadvertently scheduling your wedding in the middle of baseball playoffs (like I have) or on opening weekend of some hunting season or on a Sunday night when “Game of Thrones” is on? If someone is implying that there is some place they’d rather be than celebrating with you and your beloved, tell them you were just so excited that you missed the potential schedule conflict and you’re really sorry because “We would have loved to have you.” I’m not typically one to advocate passive aggression, but this was my mother’s idea and I rather like it. If you’re basically being told that a baseball game is more important than your wedding, some restrained snark seems reasonable. I happily attended my sister’s wedding during Game Three of the Ranger’s first-ever World Series (and checked updates through my phone). They’ll get over it.

    Sportsball. We love it, too.

    Sportsball. We love it, too.

    Unless your entire guest list lives in the same apartment building, someone is going to feel slighted about the travel time. Are people complaining that they may have to drive an hour to your wedding or a pre-wedding event? That’(*sigh*) too bad. The aforementioned bridal shower meltdown was sparked by the fact that my mother’s gracious, amazing, generous friends have taken on the planning and intend to host the event in one of their homes, which is a fair drive from most of my guests. I’ve already had people voice their distaste over the driving distance to our wedding venue (which is still within the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex where 90% of our guests live — and EVERYONE drives in DFW), so I saw a disaster in the making. If someone is doing something for you, they get first convenience. Plain and simple. If you planned it yourself, you have reasons for choosing the location and they are valid. Destination wedding or chapel around the corner, get married where you want to.

    Taste is not universal, so someone isn’t going to like something. Food, flowers, colors, music — we all like different things. If someone feels the need to complain or speak ill of any of those decisions, they’re being mean and mean people suck. I am officially done — DONE — taking crap for our personal taste and you should be, too.

    Religion (or lack thereof) is also not universal, and it sure gets touchy. I would expect most of your guests will already know where you stand on faith and it’s only decent of them to expect that to be reflected in your wedding. Whether it’s a Catholic aunt offended by your Universalist beliefs or an atheist friend who complains about your desire to take communion, when it comes to your wedding, it’s none of their business and if they can’t deal, they can’t come. Doing anything more or less than you want is disingenuous and that IS. NOT. FAIR. To you, or anyone else.

    You don’t have to turn the give-a-damn off, but for the next three months, I’m definitely turning mine down. I can honestly say that I have not once made a decision with the expressed intent of hurting, or even inconveniencing anyone. I’m not going to stomp my foot and declare, “No more Miss Nice Bride,” but neither am I going to let myself feel sick because something isn’t perfect for someone else. I haven’t reached full comfort with the idea, but if I’m going to reclaim my joy for a day that should be the happiest I’ve ever had, it’s an idea I need to get used to.

    Do you have complaints you’re no longer entertaining? Something you refuse feel guilty about? Let us know in the comments!

  • 7/1

    Amelie 1




    We’ve got a special two-parter for you this week, BABs! Check back tomorrow for Part 2!

    BAB reader Kary has a dilemma. She’s fallen in love with *two* gowns (and a wonderful man), with a budget of about $2,000. She says:

    I am planning a small beach wedding for

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    7/1

    recycled-materials-wedding-decor-photo-by-clane-gessel-4







    Photo: Clane Gessel via Bella Signature

    We at BAB were sooooooooooo excited about the Supreme Court legalizing same-sex marriage (#LOVEWINS), we decided to do an article especially for the boys (who like boys).

    It’s possible you’ve been secretly worried about how a wedding looks without a bride. Well, you can …

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    6/30

    Photo by Andie Freeman Photography







    Name: Jessica Knowles and Andrew Long

    Occupation: Jessica – Sales and Marketing Manager for Housing Company; Andrew – Landscape Designer

    Wedding location: Brickyard at Riverside Golf Club, Macon, Georgia

    Wedding Date: May 16, 2015










    Budget: Around $15,000. The amounts below add up to around $20,000, however my parents paid about …

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  • 6/30

    ScreenShot420



    And now to quote the immortal words of Soul II Soul: “Back to life, back to reality, back to the here and now.”  Nick and my’s wedding was so amazing, and our honeymoon to the Pacific Northwest was absolutely perfect.

    That’s what made it that much harder to come back …

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    6/29

    d03341b18fe6d946dab96dfd6a30de4d




    Isn’t funny how you can think you have something figured out, and then suddenly you see a picture and everything changes?

    It’s the reason why I strongly believe that you should do your best to stop looking at wedding dress pictures once you’ve chosen one — that’s how some people …

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    6/26

    Marriage Equality




    In a monumental and long overdue decision today, the U.S. Supreme Court declared that love is love, and everyone has the legal right to marry.

    DAMNIT, you guys. This is fucking big.

    I was a teenager in Wyoming at the time Matthew Shepard was beaten and left to die …

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  • 6/25

    RK Blush




    Hello BABs! You’ve been keeping us on our toes with lots of requests and comments – and we love it, so keep ’em coming! And if you’re a BAB that we were able to help Get Over It, we’d love to hear your story and know what you picked! (Pics …

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