8/29

Yes, I know. The first look has been a Thing for a few years now, and granted this post was originally published Nov. 12, 2010. However, the debate is still real, y’all.

BAB Throwback to see or not to see that is the question

From the moment you put on THE dress, you’ve been anticipating the look on his face when he sees you at the end of the aisle. You’re going to look so beautiful, and he’s going to be so proud, and happy, and excited to see you. You two are going to be grinning at each other so much you can hardly hear the minister pronounce you married.

It’s tradition, and it’s the way that most brides think that they’re going to see their grooms for the first time. But more and more, I’m watching couples decide to go with another alternative — The First Look.

Here’s how it works: Your photographer usually begins about three hours before the ceremony, starting with shots of you putting on THE dress, make-up, hair … all the “getting ready” stuff. While you’re doing that, your photographer’s second shooter is over with the guys, taking their pictures, and then about an hour or so into it, everyone meets in the middle for pictures of the wedding party and family. And that’s when you see each other for the first time.

Most photographers make it into a special event, at a secluded place where it’s just the two of you. And once they get that special shot of him seeing you for the first time and you two smiling at each other like whoa, you can hang out together and talk, and get to spend some time alone. Even if it’s for 10 or 15 minutes, that’s going to be hard to come by for the rest of the day, trust me. Then you finish photos with the rest of the gang.

Real Wedding: Summer & Peter's Family-Friendly Destination Tahoe Beach Wedding

From Summer & Peter’s Real Wedding. Credit: Lauren Lindley Photography

Practically speaking? It’s a real time saver. Most of your pictures are done before the wedding, which means you can join your guests for the cocktail hour and enjoy those appetizers you’re paying $X per person for. There’s less family wrangling because it’s a little easier to tell everyone to show up early at an appointed place and time rather than try and track them down after the ceremony. If you’re a blubberer and worry about crying your way down the aisle so much that you worry your guests, the first look might be for you. And since you can make that moment between the two of  you special, these are the reasons why brides of mine have done it.

Emotionally speaking? Well … that’s up to you. Not all of my brides want to do a First Look, because that moment walking down the aisle is just too important and vivid for them. I have one bride that won’t talk about the color of her dress in front of her fiance — that’s how excited she is about him seeing her from the end of the aisle. And I’m grinning as I write that, because that love and anticipation is really what that first moment is all about, no matter where and when you choose to do it. Which is just cool, you know?

And if you do want to wait, of course, it’s fine. You make it work like everyone’s always made it work — separate wedding party pics before the ceremony, and then use the cocktail hour for family pics after the ceremony. Have your wedding planner or a friend bring you a sample of cocktails and apps during the photos, and then join your guests at the reception. Like with most wedding things, (and in life, actually), whatever it is that you mind is what matters. I’m not “Team See” or “Team Not See,” I’m team YOU. Either way, I’m probably going to tear up when it happens. Like always.

So, which team are you? When is your intended going to first see you on your wedding day?

See you at the end of the aisle,

 

christen
  • 8/28

    Hello, BAB’s! How y’all doin’? This week we’re helping KAYlin get over BHLDN’s KAYleigh (I had to).  When I first saw the dress I was like, “Grecian Goddess.” I know it’s been a while with all the amazing requests coming in, so I hope you’re out there, girl. Kayleigh wrote in saying:

     “Help me BABs, you’re my only hope!
    I fell in love with the Bhldn “Kayleigh” dress, but it’s both way out of my budget (below $500) and discontinued! I’ve been scouring the internet for a comparable dress, but I can’t find anything. I’m in love with the simplicity and softness of the dress. Long time fan!
    Thanks for all you do!”

     I won’t keep you waiting …

    Can't Afford It

    Original “Kaleigh Gown” Catherine Deane for BHLDN (Style: 2653000) $1,200

    Get Over It

    LightInTheBox Mermaid Sweetheart Halter Lace Wedding Dress (Style: 00604657) $142 at LightInTheBox.com

    DailyLook Line & Dot Lace Halter Dress (Style: 112672) $171 at Daily Look

    RainingBlossoms2 Chiffon Halter Neckline Sheath Wedding Dress With Beaded Waistband (Style: WD-3269) $190 at GoodCheapWeddingDress.com

    CastlePromAndBridal Beautiful Satin Gown With Sheer Lace Overlay by Alfred Angelo (Style: 7281L) $219 at The Castle

    BestBridalPrices4 Strapless Floor Length With Soft Net Over Lace (Style: 8614L) $239 at BestBridalPrices.com

    BHLDN2 Romantic Dress With Soft, Light Tulle by Jenny Yoo (Style: 31062417) $260 at BHLDN

    Crystal Lattice Sash $180 sold separately.

    BestBridalPrices2 Lace Halter Dress With Scalloped Edge Detailing (Style: 2043) $270 at BestBridalPrices.com

    BestBridalPrices3 Elegant Gown With V-Neckline & Sash At The Waist by Impressions (Style: 11655) $298 at BestBridalPrices.com

    BHLDN Full Ball Gown Skirt With Layers Of Tulle by Tadashi Shoji (Style: 30369367) $300 at BHDLN

    RainingBlossoms Lace Sweetheart Strapless Sheath Wedding Dress With Bow Back Waistband (Style: SI-0066) $320 at Raining Blossoms

    JCREW Beautiful Gown With High Cutaway Neckline & A Bias Cut Skirt (Style: 69879) at J. Crew

    Instead of focusing on the halter neckline (which is silk charmeuse, btw!) I tried to focus more on the soft, lace detail. I almost didn’t notice it when I first looked at this dress, but the Kayleigh dress is beautiful simplicity. Keep in mind, too, that finding a strapless sheath might be the way to go, and then have your seamstress or tailor add the halter strap — since straps are super easy to add to wedding dresses.

    I hope I was able to give you some good ideas. Be sure to check out the websites that are featured ’cause you’ll probably find even more options. Until next week, BABs …

    Got a gown that you just can’t get off your mind? We’re happy to help you get over it! Just tell us in the comments below! Please remember to include the budget you’re working with so we can find you the best alternative for you.

    *As always, please do your own research before buying a gown online. Team Broke-Ass is here to provide you with inspiration and resources, but it is up to the consumer to know what they’re purchasing.
    Elaine Michalek
  • 8/28

    This wonderful tutorial first appeared on the blog in 2012, but with the ubiquity of gorgeous, interesting backdrop ideas in weddingland lately, I figured it was a great time to take a little jump back and revisit this awesome paper rosette how-to.

    I don’t know about you Broke-Asses, but spring

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    8/27

    Winning Wednesday Get Frisky in the Kitchen with an Apron from Flirty Aprons

    We’re big into food here at The Broke-Ass Bride. If you follow Dana’s other blog, LaRueBlog, then you’ve seen the slew of Korean food she’s been cooking up. And myself? Well, I cook every night — but some nights that “cooking” is just mac & cheese. Most nights, however, …

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    8/27

    Invitation

    First and foremost, let me emphasize that I am not one of those traditional people who believe a wedding must have a theme. I know, me, untraditional? Shocking. Therefore, Daniel and I did not approach our wedding planning with the goal of creating a theme. Instead, we chose items …

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  • 8/26

    Screen Shot 2014-08-20 at 19.47.35

    Let’s talk about booze. Because over here in the continuously tipsy British Isles, weddings and booze go together like birds of an inebriated feather. Weddings are often judged on just how much free-flowing alcohol there was, and whether anyone got so drunk as to not be able to remember the …

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    8/25

    The Bouqs -- Flowers Grown on the Side of a Volcano

    Yeah, you read that right. From the side of a freaking volcano. And you don’t have to spend a million bucks for it to be an actual thing in your life.




    Relatively new flower company based out of California, The Bouqs, makes it happen. Grown either on an eco-friendly …

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  • 8/25

    Because kidney stone humor is necessary, just not whilst in the ER. (image via quickmeme/google image search)

    I’ve said a few times that I don’t think that our wedding planning experience has been the catastrophic disaster that movies and pop culture led me to expect. And while I remain cautious and mildly prepared for the madness to begin in the next two months, I won’t look back …

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