4/17 When Your Wedding Isn’t The Only Wedding

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Photo: Chasing Glimpses Photography

We got an email from a bride who has been invited to two other weddings this year, on the same day, on the other side of the country. Two. Yes, it’s definitely that time of year, not to mention that time of your life. Your wedding is not the only show in town, it’s not even the only one you have tickets to. She’d love to go to both weddings, is that possible? She doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, which is an easy thing to do when everyone is on social media. Or should she just choose one? And, if so,  how does she do that?

What “Both” Looks Like

So, you’re going to one ceremony and one reception, that’s the least complicated way to do it. From the time you sit down the end of the ceremony is going to be an hour. The cocktail hour, is well, an hour. And then there’s dinner, immediately afterward. And somewhere in there you’ve got to get from Wedding A to Wedding B.

So, be realistic. If the weddings are 30 minutes away from each other then you can go to both. Ceremony, hang out for 15 minutes afterward to say hello to everyone, grab an appetizer, and bail.   If your answer is, “I can probably make it in for dinner if there’s no traffic and everything starts on time,” that’s not going to work, because there will be, and it won’t. If the weddings are starting at different times, then you  should just choose one to go to.

But if it looks like it’s going to work out, your first step is to let both couples know what’s going on. That’s a meal one person doesn’t need to pay for, and one meal another does, at the pre-requite $79,95 per person, plus tax and service, you know? Most couples don’t  expect everyone to be able to make it. They would love you to come, of course, but they need to know if you are coming, at all.   You’d want the same consideration.  Keep it simple, “Can’t make it to both the ceremony and reception, but I’d love to see you, so I’d like to RSVP for x” Send them an email and send the card back . Do it both ways, not just one, and to both couples, not just one.

Choosing One

Seriously, Which one do you really want to go to?   I know, that sounds harsh. “Really want to go” meaning the one where you’re most looking forward to the most. The one that you think will be more fun. Or maybe there’s one that you have to go to, like your cousin’s, or you know, your Dad’s! If it’s not that easy, pick the one whose invite you got first. That’s a good excuse/reason, too. But you’re going to have to choose.

Choose You

You’re not going to hurt as many feelings as you think you are, so don’t twist yourself into knots trying to make everyone happy. Do what you know is best for you, especially since your wedding is coming up to. If this is going to stress you out, either psychologically or, more likely, financially, then go with the option that won’t, even if that means opting out entirely. That’s okay, too.

So, how many other weddings have you been invited to this year? How did you decide which ones to go to? Let me know in the comments below.

And, if you would like to find out more about me and my little part of Wedding World, visit www.silvercharmevents.com.

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz Coopersmith is the owner of Silver Charm Events, a wedding planning service in Los Angeles. She's also a regular contributor to the Huffington Post and the author of "DIY Your DOC: Do-it Yourself Wedding Day Coordination." Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.