6/12 Three Things I Know About Grooms

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This is what I know about Grooms, having had one of my own and hung out with, like 200 of them.

1. There is one thing. One thing that your Groom wants at his wedding. Might be two things — Zane wanted steak and to have his suit made — but there is definitely one. Yours might want to wear a bow tie, or to not wear a tuxedo, either, or have his favorite scotch/tequila/vodka at the bar. It could be about the guest count. He might not want to do a first look. He might not have said anything — yet — so, ask. And then make sure it happens.

Look, you have a whole vision of what your wedding day should look like, and it might not include the groomsmen wearing Vans on their way down the aisle. But it’s going to make him happy, and you like it when he’s happy. Whatever it is, it’s a small thing, and honestly, a good story. And it’s his wedding, too.

2. They like it when you give them something to do. The old joke is that the Groom only has two jobs — keep his mouth quiet and show up. But most of the Grooms I’ve known like getting involved, and want to help. So,instead of micromanaging your wedding, which is a good way to drive yourself nuts, delegate. The hotel block has to be locked down, he can do that. Book the limo. Make sure his boys have their tux rentals ordered. Yes, the bar. Put him in charge of it. And if it gets messed up along the way? He’s grown and he’s not stupid, which is why you’re marrying him in the first place.  Take a deep breath. He can fix it, and he can fix it himself. Acknowledge that he can, and thank him in advance for doing so.

3. He really wants you to have a great wedding day. This seems like an obvious point, but sometimes when you’re trying to do A, and he might not realize what a big deal A is to you. And that might come across to you that he doesn’t care. He does, trust me. And he’s looking forward to it, too, especially that part where he gets to marry you. Aww. It’s true! Look, there’s a lot of pressure when you’re planning a wedding, and you’re feeling that now, probably. But this day is about the two of you and it’s for the two of you, so pull him in when you can. And from time to time, just look look at him and say, “I cannot wait to marry you.” It’s always best if you lead with the truth, too.

What does your Groom want on his wedding day? Have you given him a task to do, yet? Let us know in the comments below.

And if you would like to find out more about me and my part of Wedding World, visit me at www.silvercharmevents.com.

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz Coopersmith is the owner of Silver Charm Events, a wedding planning service in Los Angeles. She's also a regular contributor to the Huffington Post and the author of "DIY Your DOC: Do-it Yourself Wedding Day Coordination." Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.