3/20 That’s What Friends Are For

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I’m wrapping up the Broke-Ass Guide to Wedding Friend-ors series by addressing a comment I’ve gotten almost every time I’ve written about friend-ors here or on HitchDied: “I don’t have any friends who have wedding skills!”

Here’s what I have to say to that: false. [Unless, of course, you don’t have any friends, which I hope isn’t the case!] Sure, you might not have any photographers or DJs or pastry chefs in your circle of friends, the traditional roles we think of for friend-ors. But here are a few more ways your wedding can get by with a little help from your friends:


Your friend who flosses after every meal: Day-of Coordinator. Reading Liz’s posts has clearly demonstrated the value of a wedding planner to you guys, but if hiring a professional wedding planner or a day-of coordinator doesn’t fit in your budget, turn to your most detail-oriented friend. Preferably someone who has been involved in weddings before, so she’ll know exactly what kind of balls she’s gonna be juggling. [Remember how the chick in 27 Dresses was like the Wedding Whisperer, on every detail and able to cleverly solve every problem that popped up? You know that’s why she was in so many bridal parties.] Give your friend-or-DOC a title (preferably one that makes her sound cool, like “The Fixer”) and maybe a sash or a pin or a badge, and authorize her to take questions (you don’t want people bugging you about things like “the napkin rings are the wrong size” on your wedding day), make decisions to solve problems (ideally you’ll never even know there WAS a napkin ring catastrophe), and (here’s the really fun part) boss people around. Your friend-DOC can go on a nice power trip and insist to the chimney groomsman that the pre-ceremony schedule only allows for TWO smoke breaks. She’ll love it.


Your friend who slaves away in a cubical farm: Technical Support
Have you guys noticed how many spreadsheets are involved in planning a wedding? I just checked my documents folder, and I have SEVEN. If you don’t work an office job, Microsoft Excel can seem strange and confusing, like the computer program equivalent of a Swedish art film. This is when you turn to your Desk Slave friend. To her, a mail merge is a cake walk. If your wedding budget total cell reads “#NAME?” she’ll find what’s causing the glitch in the sum function before you can say “…”


Your friend who helps you relax: Sanity Saver.
If you think this isn’t a wedding-relevant skill, I’m guessing you aren’t planning a wedding. I went to law school. I took the Bar Exam. I know from stressful situations. Wedding planning is emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausting. When you feel like you can’t take it anymore, turn to your friends. Maybe you’ve got a masseuse friend like Phoebe, or if you’re not that lucky, just ask one of your pals to go to a yoga class with you. Maybe you could really use a strong cocktail or five. Call your bestie and head to the bar. Or just have the gang over for a game night so you can laugh some of the wedding stress away.

What I’m getting at here is that our friends, just by being our friends, can make the wedding planning process so much more tolerable. So if you think you don’t have any friend-ors, thinks again.

Anyone else have any creative ideas for how friends can help make your wedding great?


  • These are great! I'm planning on having a "DIY Party" and having my crafty friends over to help make some of my projects assembly-line style.

  • Absolutely agree! My "friendors" are lifesavers. One thing I've learned through my wedding planning is to accept help when offered.

    A friend that crochets offered to make my bridesmaid clutches when I mention I was looking for ones on etsy as gifts, my MIL is sewing the dresses & vests, my musically inclined friend is helping to compile our iPod 'DJ' for the wedding and will man the sound system, and my artistic mother has been making signage for us. This list goes on and with out these people I would definitely be spinning my wheels or spending a fortune.

  • Robin! LOVED this post and your relating it to the Friends Archetypes. Super cute and wonderfully written!

  • Great post Robin. Don't forget about enlisting your friend to take photos and videos of all the personal and intimate moments that the couple (and pro photog and videographer) will miss.

  • Jack G.

    Just a suggestion…don't piss off your techie friend by calling them a "cubical farm desk slave" before asking for their help.