I married the most unlikely man almost 15 years ago. I say unlikely because we both bet our friends a six pack of beer that we would never, ever get married. Best bet I ever lost.
We were so different, that it took a while to get engaged. By the time he proposed, I wanted to simply tie the knot the next day. No way, said he. “We will have the biggest party on the smallest budget possible.”
So, he set to planning a huge bash, while I set about learning how to DIY everything. Our priorities in this party were booze and bar band. We would DIY everything else.
Seriously, 15 years later friends still tell us that our wedding was the best party they ever attended. Not just wedding. Party. Was it the Jack Daniels? Was it the bar band? Hard to say, but I wish I had all these moments on video.
1. The DIY Dress
Only a fool would make her wedding dress when she does not know how to sew. I am that fool. I wish I had video of me cutting nineteen, yes — nineteen yards of tulle. Or especially video of me twirling around in the dress the very first time. Right after sewing that last stitch.
2. The DIY Cake
Ah, but a bigger fool would make her own wedding cake! (Points finger at self) I had been a cake decorator professionally, so I figured that naturally I would be able to make my own cake. Never mind the carpal tunnel that set in the week of the wedding. Never mind that it’s crazy to try to decorate a cake two days before your wedding. Especially when you have to talk your bridesmaid through doing it for you.
But everything is better with alcohol. So, you get your bridesmaid drunk and then have her do it. And then proceed to have a food fight with the middle bits of the cake. It’s all good. And would have been grrrrrreat on video!
3. The Steam Iron
I made my own dress, but shame on my mother, I never really learned how to iron. So, I show up at the church in my dress, and my friend points out that it’s all wrinkly and going to look funny in the photos. Yes, I was that oblivious.
It was now about 5 minutes til the wedding was supposed to start and someone ran out to get a steam iron. There’s my man standing at the front of church, waiting. And there’s his best friend, running through the church with a steam iron. Literally, running. With the priest behind him promising NOT to marry us if I was late. Priceless.
4. The Piggyback Ride
We swore it never happened, but my husband’s buddy’s girlfriend swore it did. The piggyback ride. Me and my bustle were seen careening across the dance floor on the back of her boyfriend and she was not pleased. I would pay good money for that video now.
5. Table Dancing
I do have a photo. But who wouldn’t want to see video of themselves dancing on a table at the end of the night with a centerpiece on their head?
Our wedding journey took us from DIY near-disasters all the way to face-planting on a black diamond slope in Oregon. Proposal all the way through the honeymoon, there were soooo many crazy moments I wish I could relive with my man. Sometimes photos just aren’t enough.