Broke-Ass Tag: Wedding Parties

4/26

So the bridal shower has been sort of an ongoing issue with my bride tribe and I. To be honest, a shower was never even on my radar as something I would need to worry about. Isn’t that a time when friends and family get together and shower the bride with gifts? Shouldn’t her only job be to show up? Welp, apparently not.

My MOH is wonderful and I love her dearly. Planning parties is not her thing. If I say, find me someone who rents freezers in Syracuse, she will bring me a list of everything sorted by distance and price. We shop and brainstorm together while taking no prisoners. But apparently she lacks the genetic coding that allows me to say “will you plan the shower?” and for her to reply with” I’ve already booked the venue and have a menu set.” If you caught one of my earlier posts, you’d know what I’m talking about.

One of the tea cups my mother started hoarding

Fast forward to now. I’m living in another state and I’m about 300 miles from home. I rallied the other ‘maids to help my MOH with her planning. My sister and another ‘maid have been trying, unsuccessfully, to contact the venue I picked for the shower. The lack of response from the venue was at first manageable. The owner apparently had some sort of family emergency and was unavailable for a while. Since the owner is the one that books all events, my girls were at a standstill to book the venue. A week turned into two week and then well over a month with no phone calls being returned. The girls called a few times and got the same response. Well crap. This is not worth the hassle, back to the drawing board.

Teapot we got at an antique store

I have a family friend who has a giant house and hosts parties all the time. I had hesitated to ask her if she could host the shower, 1) because she can be a bit overwhelming at times, 2) she and my MOH do not get along, at all, and 3) I didn’t want her going wildly over the top with this, something that has happened before. But, desperate last minute times call for last minute measures. I casually texted her about something completely unrelated and mentioned that we were looking for venue suggestions if she knew any. Not an outlandish question, she’s well connected and party planning is her jam. She responded with the expected response of “you can have it here.” I’ll admit I was very relieved. Anything that she gets her teeth into will be beautiful and go off without a hitch. Problems? Welp, my sister has this vision of what she wants for my shower. I asked for a tea party. Little sandwiches, hats, tea, the whole pinkies up extravaganza. (Not to be confused with Alice and Wonderland).

My sister has been roaming the country and city side in search of antique tea items. She hopes to use them for centerpieces since buying 40 for everyone to drink out of is a bit insane. She asked my mother to help with tea-item acquiring and my mom has gone a little insane hunting down tea cups. Some of them are really stunning though and I plan on running away with them afterwards.

Sale at Michaels on tea party items

So, we now have a date, time and location. My sister is working with the friend and together they can hopefully create something awesome. Spoiler alert: I don’t really care what the party looks like. I’d just like to hang out with an awesome pack of ladies and drink tea in our fancy hats. I have a small army of cute hats that I’m currently debating which to wear. If only all my decisions were this difficult.  

What about you? Are you experiencing unexpected twists and turns when it comes to the shower?

  • 7/7

    Oh, how naive I was to think I could cruise through these 8 months of wedding planning without any drama. And, much to my surprise, all this drama came from the groom’s side! You don’t hear that very often, do you?

    Elizabeth drama.jpg

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    Back in December when we got engaged, Bryce’s best friend from childhood, Ron, was back in their hometown of Greensboro. Ron has lived in Amsterdam as an artist for the past few years. Bryce asked Ron to be his best man almost immediately after they got engaged, and Ron accepted with no hesitation. He seemed genuinely excited to be a part of my day, and I was happy.

    A couple months after our initial engagement, Bryce and I set out to get the tuxes sorted. Bryce got in touch with all the groomsmen and told them what they needed to do. We told Ron to just send us his measurements as I am pretty sure there aren’t any Men’s Wearhouses in Amsterdam. No response. Several other Facebook, Whatsapp and emails ensued. No response. Finally, in the midst of bachelor party planning, Ron’s brother Dan (who is also in the wedding and was planning the entire bachelor party) mentioned to Bryce that no one in the family had heard anything from Ron as well.

    This baffled me. Ron was very active on Facebook and Instagram, and nothing indicated that he was in trouble or that anything was wrong. Bryce and Dan were trying to get in touch with him, asking if he was still planning on coming over for the wedding. Eventually, I messaged him on Instagram, saying that it would really mean a lot to Bryce if he would let us know either way so we could make further arrangements. No response.

    Finally, less than two months before the wedding, Ron finally messaged Bryce and told him he couldn’t afford to fly out for the wedding in August.

    Now, if anyone can understand about not being able to afford being in a wedding, it’s me. It has never been easy or convenient for me to be in weddings, and if I can’t do it, I tell that person ASAP. If he would have told me way back in December, “Hey, I don’t know if it’s feasible for me to fly over for the wedding,” I would have totally understood, and tried to come up with a way to get him here. He’s my fiance’s best friends, and if I had to contribute money towards his ticket, I would have had no problem saving some extra money for that. However, less than two months before the wedding … I just can’t make it work.

    While I have since cooled down over this incident, I was pretty enraged at first. Like, who does that? I live in the Midwest, I get that kind of passive aggressive bullshit every day. It drives me crazy! Not to mention I was angry for my fiance. I was angry that he didn’t seem that bothered. Apparently, this is “Typical Ron” and “not unexpected.” How is that an acceptable excuse? How is this a good friend? F that.

    However, my sister pointed out that if Bryce really, truly was not that bothered by it (which, as far as I could tell, he wasn’t), why should I waste negativity on it? I just had to take a deep breath, let it go, and focus on the positive parts of the wedding. I’m getting married in a month, that’s more than enough to make me smile!

     Have any of you BABs had a bridal party member disappear from the radar? How’d you deal with it?

    Elizabeth
  • 4/24

    I don’t know about the rest of the USA, but in Kansas, engagement parties are relatively uncommon. I’ve heard that they’re a growing trend, but my area’s philosophy seems to be: “Why bother? Wait for the wedding!” In Australia, however, engagement parties are a huge deal. As my Aussie friends inform me, their philosophy is: “Any excuse to celebrate!” And you know what? I think…

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    4/9

    There are few things that Team Broke-Ass loves more than ModCloth. From the prices to the styles to the superfun apartment swag, it's almost like they've crawled inside our brains and set up shop. And that love only increased when ModCloth decided to start pimping some ridiculously gorgeous wedding wares. Swoon x 1000! It's a problem. So, obviously, when the chance came to share this…

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