Broke-Ass Tag: wedding etiquette

7/5

Wedding planning definitely teaches you a lot of lessons about yourself and you as a couple that you might not have previously known. It has brought my little sister and I much closer together. We are five years apart and were never really close until maybe a year or two ago. I wish I had asked her to be my maid of honor. The idea never crossed my mind because I am not used to having a sister I can talk to or rely on.

My sibs and dad before my sister’s graduation

Our wedding has brought to light some superstitions I never knew I had, like not wanting something old or borrowed from couples that had failed marriages. It has brought Michael and I up close with not being able to afford many of the things we would like to have and learning to deal with the disappointment. Sometimes we realize what is actually the most important to us and shift our plans so that we can afford those things instead of something else less important.

The most reason lesson I have learned about myself (or perhaps just had reinforced), is my utter lack of patience. Summer is most definitely wedding season. I was invited to two different weddings only a week apart. One was the friend’s I mentioned missing in my last post and another of my girlfriends was getting married July 4th weekend. One of the things their weddings made me appreciate is sending my RSVP in a timely fashion.

Wedding RSVP

I have sent out the shower and wedding invitations already and the RSVP deadline for the shower was last week. My sister let me know that 14 of the people invited had not yet RSVP, so I called, texted and emailed each of them to see if they were coming. For the majority of them the response was pretty much immediate and I knocked out 10 in one day. Now I’m just glaring at my phone and email waiting to hear from the last four stragglers. Yes, I realize that my wedding and shower are not the most important things that you ladies have going on in your lives. I understand you probably got the invitation and immediately lost it. But for the love of all that is holy, could you please just RSVP as soon as you get it so I have one less wedding thing to stress about?

I think I will set up a laptop or my iPad at the shower so that I can capture a few wedding RSVPs while I have a captive audience. Tacky? Possibly. Do I care? NOPE!

What about you, what have you learned about yourself?

  • 11/11

    calligraphy envelope and Epson LabelWorks printed ribbonWhether you’re hand-writing on the envelope or using a convenient print-out label, addressing your wedding invites comes with a few *rules* that etiquette specialists still advise you follow. We don’t want you to be left searching, so here’s what you need to know before sending out that stationery.

    Before you get started, make sure to check and double-check that spelling! Your partner’s cousin Ashleigh is probably used to it, but she won’t be thrilled to be addressed as Ashley. If you’re going at it by hand, scrub ’em down before you get to writing. That smudge of dirt will transfer right onto that pristine white paper! Even pressing labels can leave little streaks if your paws aren’t squeaky clean.

    Let’s start with the easy ones. Formal invitations usually include a title and a full name. Married couples are addressed together as in, “Mr. and Mrs. Homer Simpson.” If the kids are invited as well, a simple “and family” on the end will do. Leaving off “and family” might not be enough to signal that this is an adults-only affair, so it’s wise to further clarify, whether politely stated on an enclosure card or by word of mouth. If the envelope is to be addressed to a single person, include the title and full name — “Miss Marjorie Bouvier.”

    If the wife doesn’t go by her husband’s name, simply list both names on the same line:

    Mr. Homer Simpson and Mrs. Marjorie Bouvier

    Same-sex couples should also be addressed on the same line and alphabetized by first name if they share a last name or last name if they don’t.

    “Mr. and Mr. Brad and George Takei” or “Mrs. Ellen DeGeneres and Mrs. Portia de Rossi”

    If a couple lives together but isn’t married, simply split the names into two lines. You can also use this for roommates if you don’t want to use separate envelopes. List the man first or use the alphabetizing by last name if they are the same sex.

    If one member of a couple has a title like Doctor, Judge or Reverend, list the titled name first (yep, even if it puts the lady first!) like, “Dr. Martin King and Mrs. Coretta King.” If both members of the couple share the title, list it as plural, followed by full names. The same general rules of “which name first?” apply here, too.

    “Drs. Derek and Meredith Sheppard,” “Drs. Arizona Robbins and Callie Torres,” etc.

    If you use inner envelopes, this is your opportunity to spell out who is specifically invited by listing children’s names or including “and guest” if you’re inviting plus ones. This time just use a simple title and name, followed by the first names of children if applicable.

    Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, Bart, Lisa and Maggie

    Once you’re finished addressing, make sure you have the correct postage. The size, shape and weight of your stuffed envelope might require more than a basic stamp. Now you’re ready to send those babies out and get ready to party!

  • 6/23

    “Is that too weird?” Every time I hear the question I just want to reach over, squeeze the person’s hand and smile. In a word, nope. Listen closely here, friends: Weddings are all about celebrating who you are as a couple and we all have little things about our relationship that are weird. Some couples hurl insults at each other that just turn out to…

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    5/27

    Just Married Wedding Announcement, $6.50 by Etsy seller BlissPaperBoutique Hey BABs! Wedding etiquette can sometimes feel overly formal and antiquated, but we're here to help you navigate the ins and outs. This week's advice request is about sending wedding announcements: My fiance and I are planning a wedding in April of 2017. All of his family is in town and most likely all will attend, but…

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    5/24

    One thing you may or may not know about me from my writing is that I do my very best to have a positive attitude in all parts of my life. It's something I adopted at a time in my life when I was particularly miserable in a former job and it surprisingly has been making my life happier ever since. This is far from…

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    5/23

    Gift Box available from Etsy seller BeforetheGown You may have seen a the story circulating in the media recently about a UK couple who contacted guests from their wedding because they weren't satisfied with their gift. According to the story, a couple wasn’t happy with the value of a gift they received from one of their wedding guests, and they sent them a note telling them so.…

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    12/9

    Sure, Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn made light (and hilarity) out of swooping in on an unsuspecting wedding or two. But wedding crashers can be a legit issue -- you've likely worked really hard to plan this wedding and if everyone who actually RSVP'd shows up, then your number count is super firm. Add in a couple of Joes in it for the kicks and…

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    8/25

    As a brand new Real Bride Contributor, I thought I’d share with you how I became a Broke-Ass Bride in the first place. As a teenager, I worked at a hobby shop with an enormous magazine section covering every possible topic you can think of. I would cautiously walk past the bridal section but wouldn’t dare flip through any for some inane fear of jinxing…

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    11/26

    Confession: I suck at writing thank you notes. It wasn't something that was a thing, really, as I was growing up -- I suspect my mother wrote them for me. Though, admittedly, this is NO excuse for not extending appreciation for someone else's graciousness. I've recently been trying to change my stubborn ol' ways (30 does that to you, y'all) and I found that if…

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