Wedding planning definitely teaches you a lot of lessons about yourself and you as a couple that you might not have previously known. It has brought my little sister and I much closer together. We are five years apart and were never really close until maybe a year or two ago. I wish I had asked her to be my maid of honor. The idea never crossed my mind because I am not used to having a sister I can talk to or rely on.
My sibs and dad before my sister’s graduation
Our wedding has brought to light some superstitions I never knew I had, like not wanting something old or borrowed from couples that had failed marriages. It has brought Michael and I up close with not being able to afford many of the things we would like to have and learning to deal with the disappointment. Sometimes we realize what is actually the most important to us and shift our plans so that we can afford those things instead of something else less important.
The most reason lesson I have learned about myself (or perhaps just had reinforced), is my utter lack of patience. Summer is most definitely wedding season. I was invited to two different weddings only a week apart. One was the friend’s I mentioned missing in my last post and another of my girlfriends was getting married July 4th weekend. One of the things their weddings made me appreciate is sending my RSVP in a timely fashion.
I have sent out the shower and wedding invitations already and the RSVP deadline for the shower was last week. My sister let me know that 14 of the people invited had not yet RSVP, so I called, texted and emailed each of them to see if they were coming. For the majority of them the response was pretty much immediate and I knocked out 10 in one day. Now I’m just glaring at my phone and email waiting to hear from the last four stragglers. Yes, I realize that my wedding and shower are not the most important things that you ladies have going on in your lives. I understand you probably got the invitation and immediately lost it. But for the love of all that is holy, could you please just RSVP as soon as you get it so I have one less wedding thing to stress about?
I think I will set up a laptop or my iPad at the shower so that I can capture a few wedding RSVPs while I have a captive audience. Tacky? Possibly. Do I care? NOPE!
What about you, what have you learned about yourself?
Every wedding planning book, blog, article advises that you should set your RSVP date for one month before the wedding. It seems to be a logical request. Most important vendor deadlines require that you confirm your final head count at least one month before the wedding. Let’s re-read that last sentence, “at least one month before the wedding.” I highly doubt that your contract says that you can ONLY submit your headcount 30 days before the big day, the words “at least” are very very important.
Attendance numbers are important which is why I asked that my guests RSVP 12 weeks before my wedding date, here’s why:
I’m not just feeding my guests, I creating a guest experience.
I need to know how many chargers to buy, how many table linens to buy/rent, how many centerpieces to create and how many bottles of booze to buy.
We need more than 30 days to make adjustments.
Our final headcount can make or break the decision to have a four-tiered cake or a two-tiered cake, and as a courtesy to our cake baker we can actually give them time to make just what we need.
I’ve never missed an RSVP deadline, said no one ever.
Someone will forget to go to the wedding website and RSVP. Someone will misplace the RSVP card and once found, mail it back well past the deadline. Someone will text you and say they never received the invitation. Someone will mess up your perfectly planned timeline to finish up your seating chart. Do you know how you can remain calm, cool and collected? Give yourself the gift of time!
Hand Stamping & Getting the Invitations Ready to Be Mailed
Have you ever been to a wedding and noticed all of the leftover food and the uneaten cake that is being boxed up for a family member to store while the newlyweds honeymoon? I know your answer is yes –because we all have. The minute that I began planning my wedding I declared that I would NOT be that newly minted wife, who out of the corner of my eye noticed all of the leftovers.
The joyful reaction will the most definitely be there when your guests receive their invitations, regardless if it’s six months or four months before your wedding and you will burst with joy when you have all of your RSVPs in and you have enough time to make budget savvy decisions.
Just in case you were wondering, for my summer wedding, the Save the Dates hit everyone’s inbox in early December and the invitations landed in mailboxes in April with a May RSVP deadline.
How much time are you giving your guests to RSVP?