Broke-Ass Tag: Pre-Wedding Parties


A lot of pre-wedding activities like the bridal shower or bachelorette had to be organized remotely or during short trips home because, (as I’ve mentioned in previous posts), due to a recent move, Ev and I live pretty far away from most of our family and friends. Three out of four of my bridesmaids, as well as my bridesman, don’t live near me. I found myself stumped as to how I might manage a bridal shower, bachelorette party AND a wedding with everyone involved without us spending all of our money on place tickets.

So, I decided to drop one of them.

I was insistent on a bachelorette party.

I am a bit of a goofball and I knew a night of getting silly would be the perfect remedy for pre-wedding stress. Because everyone is planning on coming in to town a few days before the wedding, I planned it for the Wednesday before. I know this might seem like a bit of a bad idea, but I have a game plan.

I firmly indicated to my girls that while I do indulge in a few libations, I’m not trying to have a three-day hangover, and they respect that. I assigned my girl K to plan the it and know she’s good for keeping the party fun within reason. I asked her to surprise me, within a few parameters: I have requested that it involve playing Mario Kart, doing some king of team-building exercise such a laser tag (but not anything that will send me home covered in bruises, such as paintball), and that we go for drinks at a pub that has good beer.

Finally, I requested requested that we keep the activities affordable for everyone, naturally, because I’m broke-ass. She agreed and promised that I’m going to love it. Knowing her, that I will probably end up in one of those giant inflatable T-Rex costumes by the end of the night. I promise I’ll post pictures.

bridal shower costumeInflatable T-Rex Costume, $51.99 from Amazon

After getting that set up, I realized that having a bridal shower probably wasn’t in the cards. Everyone had already used up vacation time and spent money to come to the wedding, I didn’t want to ask them to do it again for my shower. I also didn’t want to try to cram that in also during the week before the wedding. Doing that, plus the everything else, would just be way too much. In the end, I wasn’t nearly as excited about it as the other things.

So, I chose to opt out.

Nobody was terribly fussed about it. I didn’t expect it, but a few of my bridesmaids and female family members chose to give me small shower gifts at times when we got together. That, honestly, was a pretty nice alternative. I was able to accept the gift in a manner that wasn’t rushed, and then got to spend quality time with the person. So, for my individual situation, that was the best way it could have worked out. There’s perks to being broke-ass!

Next time I post, I will be a married woman! See you then!


  • 5/1

    Rehearsal Dinner Napkin available from Etsy seller MemorableWedding

    I finally had some time last weekend to buckle down get our invitations ordered, printed and mailed out, and our wedding website fully functional. This had me feeling the pressure like crazy — now that people are actually going to RSVP to this thing, I really have to have my sh*t together (but to be honest, I never feel like I really have my sh*t together).

    One of the things I’m trying to figure out is whether or not to have a rehearsal dinner.

    As far as I’m aware, the purpose of the rehearsal dinner is for all the people participating in the ceremony to participate in a practice run, and then for everyone to have a nice dinner. Our ceremony isn’t fully put together yet, but we have a basic idea that it’s going to be pretty much just us and the officiant. We’re eschewing most traditions: Our wedding party is too numerous to stand at the front with us, and we likely will avoid a complicated processional. We will be involving only two family members to do a reading. So, the idea of the rehearsal seemed a bit … unnecessary. However, I liked the idea of having a night-before event, because a lot of people attending the wedding are people coming from far away whom we don’t get to see nearly enough, and we want to spend as much as time with them as possible. However, paying for dinner for a ton of people is a significant expense.

    So, what to do?

    We decided on a “casual night-before social” (it’s a working title) where we would reserve a bunch of tables at a local bar for a couple of hours, and invite all attendees to pop by for a drink and maybe a bite to eat with us. Since our guest list is only about 70 people, many of whom I know aren’t coming in until the next day, we figured it wasn’t an impossible scenario. We would ask that people pay for their own drinks and food (as much as I felt a twinge of guilt for this, I remember how much our costs for catering and wine for our wedding day, and that guilt went away swiftly). I’ll ask the servers to do cash-and-carry for everyone, so I can ensure they get taken care of, and nobody mistakenly assumes it’s paid for. That way, we have the opportunity to spend time, without breaking the bank, and without excluding anyone. Hopefully it will go well — I guess I will find out!

    How have you worked around the expenses of a rehearsal dinner without eschewing a get-together entirely?

  • 4/27

    I don't want to skip any steps on my engaged journey. All of the celebrations, the special moments and opportunities to connect with loved ones are a part of my experience. However, I know those moments can be costly, so although not super-involved in the planning of my bachelorette party, I wanted to ensure that it did not break the bank.  I shared with my Matron of…

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    The four in the middle:  planner/doer, her fiance, me and my MOH When it comes time to pick your ladies to stand by you, take into consideration their particular skill sets before you ask them. I have an overwhelming six bridesmaids. I have one that is a doer and a planner. There’s an artsy one, one with a green thumb, a miniature one whose mom…

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    Cake Topper available from Etsy seller Glittered Bride I am not one of those women who get excited about baby showers or bridal showers. A bunch of women mingling about the hors d’oeuvres and mimosas and how they know the bride or mother-to-be has never been my forte. I can’t say as I’ve been to a single shower that I wasn’t dying to leave by…

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    Ever look back on a major event and wish that you had more photos/videos to capture those awesome memories? I sure do. So when it came to what I'll affectionately call my "Epic Bridal Weekend," I knew that I needed professional help with the documentation of all the fun details. Enter: WeddingMix!  My fiancé actually told me about the app first, and then I learned more about…

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