Broke-Ass Tag: international wedding

7/27

Shirt available from Etsy seller OldCollegeTryPress

I’m starting to think that I’m the anti-bride.

Not to mean “single woman” but rather “I do not meet the qualifications of being bride” besides that obvious engaged thing.

This could be because society places a LOT of pressure on brides, granted society places a lot of pressure on many different realms of people, but I’m making this about me.

via GIPHY

Society tells me that I should be a “blushing bride,” crazy excited about getting married, which is obviously my destiny since I’m practically a spinster at 31.

Wait, sorry, this is not Pride & Prejudice.

But still, I’m “told” I should be anxious and excited and gracious and happy and definitely NOT a Bridezilla but I also need to plan for these intricate details that 99% of guests will probably not notice and never get overwhelmed in anyway. Except that … I don’t feel like I’m most of those things.

In fact, I feel pretty apathetic to the whole wedding thing.

I feel like planning a wedding is like planning any other party. I’m inviting people to a place to feed them and hang out with them and celebrate something. It’s almost like something hasn’t clicked in my brain to get those giddy feelings. For me, wedding planning has been a transaction — checks in the box, if you will. When my friends and family ask how wedding planning is going, I’m not excited to talk about the details. In fact, my priority is anything but the details. I’ve handed over the reins to my wedding planner and reminded her about our theme (“we’re on a budget”) and I’m hoping that when we meet over the next few months, I will be delighted by her professional choices, because that is her job.

Alissa actually discussed her bridal blues on her last post and I can definitely relate.

That said, there are also pieces I’m waiting on to fall into place and I do not do well with waiting. Is it still Bridezilla if I get ragey about something under not-wedding circumstances? Meganzilla maybe? I definitely become a Meganzilla when I have to wait for things.

I’ve told Timo that he has until the end of July to figure out what he is wearing because I have decisions to make based on what he is wearing. This wouldn’t be a problem except that he bought a suit at the end of June, yet when people ask him what he is wearing he still isn’t certain he’s going to wear the suit he bought.

How do you not know?! Seriously?

I had my dress picked out in February. We finally had a heart-to-heart where I used my scary nice voice and said, “I didn’t think you had a commitment problem when you asked me to marry you. So I can’t understand why it is so hard to pick out an outfit. You are willing to commit to me for the rest of your life, I’m asking you to commit to an outfit for one day. I committed to my outfit nine months before the actual wedding. It’s not that difficult. Just say yes to the suit.” I told him he has until the end of August to pick out his fancy ring (we will also get silicone rings but that is less pressing for me since I know we can order those off Amazon).

My vendors are busy because it’s their busiest time of the year and I’m not on their radar until closer to our date and I struggle with that. I want all the things planned now.

People still haven’t RSVPed. Several people have at least told me why they are waiting to RSVP, but most people haven’t uttered a peep. Do you want to eat at our reception, people?!?

Finally, there are things I just don’t feel like doing.

For example, hiring someone to do my hair and makeup.

I don’t overly care about these things on a daily basis so caring about them for the wedding is extra difficult. I know I want my “hairs did” but then I think of the cost savings of just throwing it up in a ponytail and calling it a day. I would totally use some hair spray to keep the sprigs under control.

P.S. I am just kidding about putting my hair into a ponytail.

Also, everyone I know is better at makeup than I am. A monkey could do my makeup better than me, but I’d have to hire a monkey and well … that undermines the cost savings part of my efforts. The other, bigger problem, is that it is painful to me to find someone to do a test-run in advance. It seems frivolous, but I’ve heard it’s necessary.

Oh and one last thing: school starts at the end of August and I’d really like all these loose ends to be taken care of. I am well aware that almost none of them will be because it’s still too early for my vendors. Imagine Timo’s delight when I warned him that October will be a stressful month because of school and wedding and visitors and that whole “Hurricane or No Hurricane” game that we will be playing because we are in Charleston. He may have actually joked and said that sounded like a good time for him to go to Germany …  My glare in response was not joking.

Please don’t misunderstand, I am beyond thrilled to be getting married to my best friend.

It’s the whole planning-a-wedding thing that I’m not ecstatic about. When I proposed we elope, I wasn’t kidding.  Sadly, Timo said no. I feel overwhelmed by all the details and I am actively avoiding reading anything wedding related with “must have” or “must do” in the title.

Is it just me? Am I really the anti-bride? Will those giddy feelings eventually hit me when everything starts to come together?

  • 7/12

    I have hit my planning plateau.

    I was told by many vendors that I was waaayyy ahead of the game when I was looking for our essentials in January with a wedding in November. That didn’t bother me one bit. There were days when I felt like all I thought about was Wedding. I won’t lie, it was annoying. I felt like other things in my life were falling to the wayside because I needed to get all the wedding things done right then! Turns out, I probably had some time. Yet, I knew that 95% if our guests would be traveling at least 3+ hours, at a minimum, to come to our wedding, so I wanted to get everything planned ASAP so they could have ample opportunity to plan to come. In addition, I might have been feeling some pressure from Papa G because Germans need to plan trips no less than six months in advance and we were eight months out and OMGWTF?!?!

    What this meant for me was getting shit done efficiently and with plenty of lead time. It meant putting down deposits by the end of January. It meant ordering our invitations by the end of March and having them arrive in Germany by early May (a commitment I made to Papa G to give the Germans six months to plan their US adventures). Next, I’ve got a meeting with our wedding coordinator and decoration lady scheduled in July and it feels like I’m obsessively checking our wedding spreadsheets every day to see if anyone else has RSVPed.

    Spoiler alert: NO, they have not.

    I’m starting to see the benefit of RSVP cards since we got two of the eight we sent out to the elders within a few weeks of their arrival to the recipient. Otherwise, I have zero wedding things going on.

    And ya know what, Dwight? I’m enjoying the plateau.

    I’m enjoying not having to think about Wedding 24/7. I’m enjoying sitting down and watching Modern Family with Timo for an hour in the evening without having to harass him about details that he probably isn’t overly interested in, but he said he wanted to be involved with so I have to ask him about. I’m enjoying being able to focus on work and not feel like I’m neglecting house things because my brain is so over-tasked with all things Wedding.

    Because the reality is, this plateau will not last.

    I know it. I know that the details will start to matter and more people. My Mom and Dad and Besties are going to start asking me how wedding planning is going and Timo will not have picked out a suit by September and I will start to have meltdowns because: “Why doesn’t he care about this? We’ve been planning for over half a year! He’s had soooo much time to make this decision! I’ve done all these things and made all these decisions and he can’t even pick out something to wear! My dress was ordered in FEBRUARY!” 

    I know that I will have to pick someone to do my hair. I know that I will need to do test runs. I know that my wedding coordinator will finally say, “No, Megan, YOU need to make this decision.”

    But during this plateau, I’m taking care of me.

    I’ll keep it super real with the BAB’s. I actually had hip surgery on June 1st, during the plateau. An unfortunate gym squat led to torn cartilage in my hip in January and after months of rest and physical therapy and a cortisone shot, our last option was surgery. I won’t lie, I’m a runner, so this was a very serious decision I had to make.

    It’s super scary knowing that my orthopedic doctor and my physical therapist have a goal for me not to limp down the aisle on my wedding day. That’s a thing. So while I have enjoyed episodes of Modern Family and not discussing the Wedding, it’s still at the back of my mind as I sit in my CPM machine wondering when I will get full function back. I will also spend the month of June teleworking because I’m not allowed to drive (it’s my right hip and controlled substance pain killers). I get to spend my plateau on the couch teleworking and doing physical therapy to get my hip back to 100% so that way I might be able to walk the 10k we have already paid for the weekend before the wedding.

    So that’s a little scary.

    Anyone else have a plateau during their wedding planning?  Did anyone else have surgery before the wedding?

     

  • 6/1

    Timelss Rings invitation from Wedding Paper Divas In the beginning there was a good idea, then the good idea was shared and people shunned it because the good idea was too modern and technologically forward ... and that's how we went from e-vites to paper invites. Siiiiigh. Since we originally didn't plan on spending money on invitations, I only looked at stationery sites longingly and for ideas.…

    Read the full article →
    Share this!

    4/18

    Print available from Etsy seller WishfulPrinting The biggest expense at any wedding are the guests. They are the consumers, so the more guests you have, the more expensive your reception will be (in theory, I'm sure someone can prove me wrong about that). We are opting to have a buffet dinner at our reception and we figured to keep costs down, we need less mouths…

    Read the full article →
    Share this!

    6/25

    As we all know, when it comes to weddings, parents are typically the biggest supporters and have some of the biggest opinions. This is extremely true in my and Daniel’s case. Our parents have been incredibly supportive of our relationship (at least, ever since I convinced my parents he isn’t a cyber-serial-killer). Seriously, though, their overwhelming love and support has been phenomenal. Of course, sometimes,…

    Read the full article →

    5/14

    Today, I want to talk about how my and Daniel’s plans for our wedding have changed and evolved in the wake of his visa acceptance. I’ll be honest. Before I wrote this post, I wrote another. It was whiny and self-serving and entirely unprofessional. I’m going to try and do better with this one, but please forgive me if a little bit of w(h)ine slips…

    Read the full article →

    3/6

    I am pleased to announce that Daniel and I have FINALLY made some real progress in our wedding planning. Of course, we are hesitant to set anything in stone until his visa is approved, but even the “legal” side of our wedding planning is ahead of schedule! As of January 29th, my visa petition was approved by the U.S. government. After two weeks of processing,…

    Read the full article →

    2/25

    From the time Daniel and I started considering marriage, the wedding world and its inhabitants had warned me about the inevitable wedding inquisition. As a newly engaged woman, I expected to be bombarded by questions about the proposal, the wedding date, and even wedding minutiae like the kind of veil I may wear. And trust me, I have been. However, I was not expecting inquiries that…

    Read the full article →
    Share this!