Broke-Ass Tag: Fort Worth Wedding

2/18

We talk a lot about taking the stress out of wedding planning and learning when to take a deep breath and let things go, but when it comes down to it, this is an incredibly special day and some things are worth a little fight. As our wedding day slips further and further into the past (almost five months, yo!), the glow of happiness is still there, but I’m starting to realize there are a few things that I wish I had cared a little more about or been more “on top of” or even been a little more aggressive while dealing with them.

I know from experience that it can be super hard to completely envision everything you want in your wedding and how to make it happen. I was practically clueless for the first several months! What IS totally reasonable is to give things a second thought before you write them off as frivolous expenses or an unworthy effort. Budgeting is hard, but you don’t want to cut things out before you’ve given them due consideration. Every couple will have different priorities, but for your consideration, here are the top five things I wish I had cared a little more about:

A videographer

This seems to show up on a lot of lists. They’re expensive and you wonder how often you’ll really watch your wedding video. It’s very easy to file this under the “not worth it” column and let it go. It was also something weird for me to spend money on because I was a videographer. Specifically, I was a television reporter who shot and edited her own stories, so I imagined how I would react if I got a video back with a jump cut or nonlinear editing or any other jargon-y mistakes you’d only recognize if you studied and practiced this for years. Ultimately, it was my distaste for paying someone to do something I can do that convinced me to drop it, even though that would have been some feat just to be the bride AND catch everything on video! You may remember when I admitted post-wedding that I lost my place reading my vows and ended up winging it; I kinda wish I had admissible evidence of exactly what I promised (haha)!

Celebrating my ladies

Photo by Shaina Sheaff

Photo: Shaina Sheaff Photography

You see the amazing ideas on Pinterest: members of the wedding party laughing earnestly while everyone is still getting ready, opening a cute gift or drinking from a personalized glass. Asking a friend to be a part of your wedding party has become almost as nerve wracking as the actual proposal. My husband and I made a decision when we were first engaged that instead of engraved flasks or matching gifts, we’d just purchase a suit for his three groomsmen and the dresses for my bridesmaids. All in all, that carved out about a grand of our budget (more than food, alcohol or flowers) and I don’t regret it at all, but looking back, I let all the last minute DIY and running around take over and I ended up feeling like I should have been more personal, more gracious towards the people who helped make our day so awesome.

Wedding night arrangements

I don’t like to nag, but man, I wish I had! Booking a hotel room where my ladies and I could start getting ready pre-ceremony and my husband and I could spend our wedding night was something I delegated to my guy. In his mind, a Friday night at the end of September was going to be a perfectly easy time to secure a one-night reservation in a fancy hotel where we could feel all, well, fancy in our wedding day bliss. We had the money set aside to do ourselves up nice with our accommodations and I suggested that we get that done early. His thoughts? What could possibly be going on that night to book up a hotel? Besides, reserving a room later would probably yield a better deal! Wrong. There were apparently several events going on that weekend with reservations at the luxury hotels that went back almost a year. We ended up in a nice commuter hotel that was exceedingly sweet to us, but our dreams of an in-room Jacuzzi and sweeping view of downtown didn’t quite pan out. In the end, it wasn’t a huge deal, but if you’ve got something special in mind, it’s best to jump on it as early as possible.

Being firm with my desires

Two weeks ago, I shared some of the things I wish I hadn’t stressed over and I mentioned ignoring the blog posts and articles from jilted wedding guests. Posts from wedding professionals can be a lot more helpful, but I wish I’d trusted my gut on a few things. There’s a line between telling a pro “how to do their job” and gently guiding them toward your grand vision. I think I erred on the side of caution when it came to the fear of offending the people who were hired to help make things great. Yes, it’s poor form to ask a photographer or caterer or florist to essentially copy something you found online, but there’s nothing wrong with saying, “I love this and would really like a photo/food table/floral design in this style.” Hiring someone you trust goes a long way, but if there’s something you want, speak up and make sure you and your vendor understand each other so you’re not left disappointed.

Better time management

Photo by Shaina Sheaff

Photo: Shaina Sheaff Photography

I got myself in trouble here because I’m rather proud of my ability to juggle multiple things at once (again, TV reporter). I think I have a decent handle on exactly how long it’s going to take me to apply the perfect winged eyeliner and eat a sandwich so I’m not starving, but time does weird things on your wedding day. Despite the incredible help I had from many wonderful people, I felt rushed and my natural tendency to want to do everything myself resulted in a pretty epic meltdown while I was trying to tie my bouquet that morning. My best advice: think of how long you expect each step to take, then pad that with an extra 50%. You’re going to have nerves; you’re going to be fielding questions; you’re going to have several more people involved in the process than, say, your morning pre-work ritual. Give yourself extra time and for the love of everything good, forgive yourself for needing it! Your wedding day self will thank you for those few extra minutes, even if it’s just to smile and take it all in.

So, would I call any of this a regret? Not really. It was still a beautiful day and lived up to my mantra, “All we have to do is get married,” so nothing was ruined. But do be honest with yourself when it comes to the things you want. If you think you can’t afford something, grab a friend or family member to help you research before you make it a hard no. But above all, if something doesn’t work out, just turn to that person you love beyond words and say, “Hey! We’re married and that makes everything perfect!”

Are you engaged and struggling with whether or not to prioritize something? Are you married and wish you did? Help your fellow BABs out and tell us in the comments!

  • 11/12

    Affiliate Disclaimer NewI knew BAB and I were going to get along when I saw the tagline “Creativity is our Currency.” Creativity is something I pride myself on, and when I can glean from the imagination of other awesome people, I’m usually set to create something truly impressive.

    The hand-craftedness of the majority of my decorations was something that began as a ploy to save some major cash (oh, and save, I did!), but as the months went on, I developed what I can only describe as a deeper connection to my wedding day. When all of those projects and ideas came together in one place for one purpose, I was able to look out across this scape that I not only imagined, but crafted in many ways from scratch, and feel a whole new level of love. I remembered my now-husband peeking over my shoulder as I finished up signs, trips to Michael’s for more supplies and spending time with my family and friends making sure everything came together. There is plenty of love in any wedding regardless of how much you hand make, but for me, making something for someone has always been my highest level of love.

    The largest DIY undertaking by far was the flowers. All of the flowers. Every centerpiece, bouquet and boutonniere started as a cardboard box FedExed to my house, before being unpacked, stripped of thorns (THE. WORST.) and eventually trimmed and arranged. It was an undertaking. There were tears. It was worth it.

    Bridesmaids Bouquets || Photo: Shaina Sheaff Photography

    Credit: Shaina Sheaff Photography

    I’ve always been pretty big on flowers and having beautiful designs within my budget was more important to me than a lot of brides. The arrangements were a mix of cymbidium orchids, Picasso calla lilies, pink garden roses, Burgundy Moonlight carnations and dahlia (which was actually a substitute when the blooming kale didn’t arrive). Rather than purchasing wholesale greenery, I filled everything in with rich, ruffly kale. From the grocery store. $1.89 a bunch. Eight centerpieces, a bridal bouquet, three bridesmaids bouquets, six boutonnieres and a lot of flowers left over for miscellaneous decorating cost me just over $700.

    Bridal Bouquet || Photo: Shaina Sheaff Photography

    Credit: Shaina Sheaff Photography

    Of course my centerpieces were arranged in my very first DIY (not to mention what got me started with BAB in the first place): the faux mercury glass compote bowls that came out to around $4 each. I’m still in love with them!

    Shannon's DIY Centerpieces || Photo: Shaina Sheaff Photo

    Credit: Shaina Sheaff Photography

    In lieu of traditional favors, we purchased boxes of 12 wine glasses from Bed Bath and Beyond for 10 bucks a piece, then I hand painted them with alcohol ink in several colors that complemented my palette. I bought four packages of three colors and those tiny bottles took care of 108 glasses and 18 different candle holders (did you see the fun video on Instagram?) BEFORE they got sent to a friend to help her paint votive holders for her wedding. Each piece had three colors that blended together to create a gorgeous (not to mention trendy) watercolor effect and there are guests STILL commenting on how gorgeous they were.

    DIY Painted Wine Glasses || Photo: Shaina Sheaff Photo

    Credit: Shaina Sheaff Photography

    Having a deep, inexplicable attachment to handwriting, I definitely wanted to do all of my signage. Keeping with the watercolor motif, I used a wet brush technique to create a splatter design on an easel canvas that’s slanted so it stands on its own before writing over in gold paint pen. If I had to do it over again, I would have used more muted colors so that the gold popped a little more, but I still loved the final product.

    Hand-Painted and Lettered Signage || Photo: Shaina Sheaff Photography

    Credit: Shaina Sheaff Photography

    Keeping with the handwritten, watercolor theme, I also hand-wrote my envelopes with a calligrapher’s pen, but swapped four watercolors for traditional ink. Yes, a great many of those went in the trash after they were opened, but the number of people hanging onto theirs for a keepsake makes me feel completely validated in spending all of that time and effort overachieving.

    Hand-Lettered Envelopes || Photo: Shaina Sheaff Photography

    Credit: Shaina Sheaff Photography

    Of course, there was the last minute DIY that I wasn’t expecting when I realized I’d messed up ordering my cake. It wasn’t planned and it was a total pain, but you know what? I kinda like the way they turned out. Gold, glitter and pearls make everything better in my world. After my amazing crew of helpers topped two cakes and a homemade creation with some of the left over flowers, I think they turned out wonderful!

    Target cakes made beautiful! || Photo: Shaina Sheaff Photography

    Credit: Shaina Sheaff Photography

    If you love to create, create for your own wedding. It feels so personal and it’s an amazing bonding experience with those you love. If you don’t, talk to the people in your life who do. For most of us, the opportunity to contribute our talent is a real honor.

    I’ll be back in two weeks with some step-by-step information on how everything was made. In the meantime, remember that creativity means a lot of things and it is totally a valid currency!

  • 2/18

    Photo: Iz Photography by Izelle Labuschagne I’ve never had to have the best. Growing up in a small, rural town that suddenly turned into a McMansion Mecca where housewives hauled a whole two kids around in Hummers, I learned by middle school the cool kids table was closed unless your purse cost a car payment, and I thought it was shitty. When I started planning my…

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    2/12

    *Confession* At just under eight months to go until we say our vows, we’ve already been engaged for just over eight months. It took us a while to get the ball rolling. We knew from the beginning that neither of our parents were in financial positions to pay for large percentages of our big day and that anything we spent would have to be saved. It…

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