Broke-Ass Tag: Charleston Bride

7/27

Shirt available from Etsy seller OldCollegeTryPress

I’m starting to think that I’m the anti-bride.

Not to mean “single woman” but rather “I do not meet the qualifications of being bride” besides that obvious engaged thing.

This could be because society places a LOT of pressure on brides, granted society places a lot of pressure on many different realms of people, but I’m making this about me.

via GIPHY

Society tells me that I should be a “blushing bride,” crazy excited about getting married, which is obviously my destiny since I’m practically a spinster at 31.

Wait, sorry, this is not Pride & Prejudice.

But still, I’m “told” I should be anxious and excited and gracious and happy and definitely NOT a Bridezilla but I also need to plan for these intricate details that 99% of guests will probably not notice and never get overwhelmed in anyway. Except that … I don’t feel like I’m most of those things.

In fact, I feel pretty apathetic to the whole wedding thing.

I feel like planning a wedding is like planning any other party. I’m inviting people to a place to feed them and hang out with them and celebrate something. It’s almost like something hasn’t clicked in my brain to get those giddy feelings. For me, wedding planning has been a transaction — checks in the box, if you will. When my friends and family ask how wedding planning is going, I’m not excited to talk about the details. In fact, my priority is anything but the details. I’ve handed over the reins to my wedding planner and reminded her about our theme (“we’re on a budget”) and I’m hoping that when we meet over the next few months, I will be delighted by her professional choices, because that is her job.

Alissa actually discussed her bridal blues on her last post and I can definitely relate.

That said, there are also pieces I’m waiting on to fall into place and I do not do well with waiting. Is it still Bridezilla if I get ragey about something under not-wedding circumstances? Meganzilla maybe? I definitely become a Meganzilla when I have to wait for things.

I’ve told Timo that he has until the end of July to figure out what he is wearing because I have decisions to make based on what he is wearing. This wouldn’t be a problem except that he bought a suit at the end of June, yet when people ask him what he is wearing he still isn’t certain he’s going to wear the suit he bought.

How do you not know?! Seriously?

I had my dress picked out in February. We finally had a heart-to-heart where I used my scary nice voice and said, “I didn’t think you had a commitment problem when you asked me to marry you. So I can’t understand why it is so hard to pick out an outfit. You are willing to commit to me for the rest of your life, I’m asking you to commit to an outfit for one day. I committed to my outfit nine months before the actual wedding. It’s not that difficult. Just say yes to the suit.” I told him he has until the end of August to pick out his fancy ring (we will also get silicone rings but that is less pressing for me since I know we can order those off Amazon).

My vendors are busy because it’s their busiest time of the year and I’m not on their radar until closer to our date and I struggle with that. I want all the things planned now.

People still haven’t RSVPed. Several people have at least told me why they are waiting to RSVP, but most people haven’t uttered a peep. Do you want to eat at our reception, people?!?

Finally, there are things I just don’t feel like doing.

For example, hiring someone to do my hair and makeup.

I don’t overly care about these things on a daily basis so caring about them for the wedding is extra difficult. I know I want my “hairs did” but then I think of the cost savings of just throwing it up in a ponytail and calling it a day. I would totally use some hair spray to keep the sprigs under control.

P.S. I am just kidding about putting my hair into a ponytail.

Also, everyone I know is better at makeup than I am. A monkey could do my makeup better than me, but I’d have to hire a monkey and well … that undermines the cost savings part of my efforts. The other, bigger problem, is that it is painful to me to find someone to do a test-run in advance. It seems frivolous, but I’ve heard it’s necessary.

Oh and one last thing: school starts at the end of August and I’d really like all these loose ends to be taken care of. I am well aware that almost none of them will be because it’s still too early for my vendors. Imagine Timo’s delight when I warned him that October will be a stressful month because of school and wedding and visitors and that whole “Hurricane or No Hurricane” game that we will be playing because we are in Charleston. He may have actually joked and said that sounded like a good time for him to go to Germany …  My glare in response was not joking.

Please don’t misunderstand, I am beyond thrilled to be getting married to my best friend.

It’s the whole planning-a-wedding thing that I’m not ecstatic about. When I proposed we elope, I wasn’t kidding.  Sadly, Timo said no. I feel overwhelmed by all the details and I am actively avoiding reading anything wedding related with “must have” or “must do” in the title.

Is it just me? Am I really the anti-bride? Will those giddy feelings eventually hit me when everything starts to come together?

  • 6/14

    Bride to be cellphone case from Etsy seller Guestbookery

    Originally, we had planned to do evites but I got so much pushback from the “elders” about using that technology that I gave up the fight and went the traditional route of paper invitations. While they are gorgeous and I’m happy with how they turned out, the price tag didn’t bring me much happiness, nor did having to print out addresses (we had the option to pay to have them printed, but I’m wayyy too cheap for that route since I knew I could do it myself).

    I did take a stand on the RSVP front though. After seeing the price of RSVP cards and hearing stories about all the confusion and suggestions to mark them with UV markers to know who is who when they come back with no name, I just wasn’t interested in the runaround. It sounded way too complicated when I knew there had to be a way to utilize technology to do all the work for me.  One of the first things I did to start wedding planning was to download some wedding planning spreadsheets. These were Google spreadsheets which was convenient in many ways: 1) They are electronic soI’m not lugging around a huge binder (think Ted and Lily from How I Met Your Mother); 2) Multiple people could access the spreadsheets if I give them access and; 3) Google Forms integration.

    Because I knew I wanted an online RSVP setup, I looked into Google Forms. I didn’t really know much about them other than the fact that they existed. What I didn’t realize is that some wedding websites actually offer RSVP services. Since I had already created our wedding website, I didn’t really want to go this route, so the Google Forms option looked better and better. When I discovered that you can link a Google Form to a Google Spreadsheet, I knew I had hit the jackpot.

    I could create all my own questions and all the answers would automatically push to the spreadsheet.

    I mainly did a trial-by-error method of learning how to use Google Forms. It’s pretty self-explanatory if you’re moderately tech-savvy. I also adjusted the settings a bit to better suit my needs. For the purposes of being a good blogger, I set up an example form in a few minutes.

    It’s that easy, just a few minutes!

    From a Google spreadsheet, click on Tools, then select Create a form.


    You will be taken to this screen where you can fill in your information and create questions.


    Google Forms is awesome because you can mark certain questions as required and you can have different types of questions (multiple choice, short answer, long answer, dropdown options, etc).  My favorite thing about Forms is that you can create a “password.” This was a little tricky and I had to do some research but I really didn’t want our form to be open to just anyone.


    To set a “password,” select Short answer as your question type, then click on the three dots icon at the bottom right, then select Data validation. This will generate a line that gives you the option to set an answer. You can select Text (seen in the example) or you can select Number. If you select Number, ensure that you change the second dropdown menu to “equal to.” I put this question in the first section (important) and marked it required so anyone that found the form had to put in the password before seeing any of the questions. I also changed some of the settings (the gear icon in the top right) to collect email addresses for people that RSVP, so  if we had any information we needed to disseminate before the wedding, we had a contact option for each guest that was coming.

    I started our questions in section 2. By creating sections, people using the form will only see one section at a time. To put a password on the first section means they are unable to see the rest of the form without answering the password question correctly. Rather than sending out an RSVP card, the first thing our guests will see when they flip over their invitation (please let these people flip the invitation over to see what all that text is!) is:

    Please RSVP at our wedding website:  www.address.com
    Password: Password

    (other wedding info)

    (even more wedding info)

    I made sure to put the website and password in larger font than the rest of the text.  I tried to make it as obvious as possible.

    Our questions are:

    • Who are you?
    • Are you coming?
    • Great! Who is coming with you?
    • Total number of people in your party (including yourself)?
    • Will you be attending the Post-Wedding Brunch on November 2nd?
    • Does anyone have any dietary concerns we should be aware of?
    • Where will you be staying while you are in Charleston?
    • What are the dates of your trip to Charleston?
    • What is 1 song that will make your night if you hear it?
    • Are you excited?
    • What are you most excited for?
    • Do you have anything else you’d like Megan and Timo to know about your visit, their wedding, or in general?

    Now that we’ve sent out invites, some reflections on the online RSVP:

    I think most people are afraid of the online RSVP. They think it will be difficult. I’ve had to encourage friends who “only use their phones” by explaining that the site is mobile friendly, (yes, I did that for you, friends). In fact, I had to bully my parents into RSVPing to their first child’s wedding. SERIOUSLY? I’ve found out through the grapevine/talking to invitees that they will be coming, but they haven’t RSVPed yet, even though they have purchased plane tickets! WHAT? (This also leads to a bit of self-reflection where I have to acknowledge that I’m not like most people and for me, I would have RSVPed yes, then bought my plane ticket.)

    I was hoping we’d get a majority of RSVPs from the invites we sent out within the first month or so (haahahahahahahahahahahahah, our RSVP by date is Sept 15th) so I could send out round two, with a grasp on how many people I knew were coming, but it doesn’t seem like that is going to be the case. Oh well.

    Did you do something unconventional in the planning process?  How did it go?

     

  • 6/1

    Timelss Rings invitation from Wedding Paper Divas In the beginning there was a good idea, then the good idea was shared and people shunned it because the good idea was too modern and technologically forward ... and that's how we went from e-vites to paper invites. Siiiiigh. Since we originally didn't plan on spending money on invitations, I only looked at stationery sites longingly and for ideas.…

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    5/16

    As someone who has only seen episodes of Say Yes to the Dress in the time it takes for the channel to load and me to flip to the next channel, I was completely unprepared for wedding dress hunting. I was a "good" bride/friend and invited my mom and two besties to Charleston for the process.  I made appointments at 3 different bridal shops (Bridals by…

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    5/2

    Within a week of selecting our venue and wedding date, I started daydreaming (and night dreaming) about save the date magnets. I wanted to send out magnets with a photo of us with our date in a cute font and the wedding website and they would be perfect and cheap and so cute!  Everyone loved the idea. But then we told the Germans about my…

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    4/18

    Print available from Etsy seller WishfulPrinting The biggest expense at any wedding are the guests. They are the consumers, so the more guests you have, the more expensive your reception will be (in theory, I'm sure someone can prove me wrong about that). We are opting to have a buffet dinner at our reception and we figured to keep costs down, we need less mouths…

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    3/21

    Coffee Mug available from Etsy seller MeganPadovanoDesigns We made all the big decisions within the first month of planning and everyone had advice for us. I say this with love from the bottom of my heart: I didn't care what anyone said. From the "enjoy planning" to the "you need to do this first," I ignored everyone. I didn't want their advice. Guidance about how…

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    3/7

    Pros-Cons Organizer Notepad available from Etsy seller KaufmanArt When we left off, I was already projecting that we would go over-budget. Womp, womp. But we were about to make some decisions that could potentially alter how much I had to sacrifice. We agreed that we'd have about 100 people come to the big day. That would keep it "small" but "big" and would help keep…

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