Broke-Ass Tag: Bridal Burnout

5/9

Real Wedding: Diana and Tom's Handmade, Personal New York Celebration

Photo: Carole Cohen

Before I got engaged, I always said I wouldn’t let my wedding take over my  life. I watched so many friends become consumed by their wedding planning process. Every time we hung out would become about some wedding-related activity, whether it be dress shopping or a trip to Michael’s. Our dinner conversations would revolve around their latest updates. I vowed this would not be me. After all, there is a lot more going on in my life: jobs, friendships, hobbies … and people are probably a lot more interested in the other aspects of my life. No one cares as much about my wedding as I do! Well, apparently, that is not the case.

Everyone wants to talk about my wedding. It has become a more popular topic than the weather, and people love talking about the weather. I attended a conference this week where I saw many of my former co-workers. The first question everyone asked was “how’s wedding planning going?” or “your wedding is right around the corner!” No one wanted to know how my new job was or noticed my new hair style. Even a person they hired after me asked about my wedding, having heard about it from my friends. It definitely feels nice that so many people care about me and my big day, but sometimes I want a break from wedding mania! Believe it or not, there are times even I don’t want to talk about my wedding.

Weddings (and pregnancies) seem to be universally relatable. Strangers see a ring, and immediately feel comfortable asking you all about your plans and telling stories of their own weddings, whether they are planning or have been married for 50 years. You, of course, smile and nod and make pleasant conversation with all of these people, but if you’re like me, after a while you get tired of explaining your plans to people and telling the same stories over and over, justifying your choices in a way. Right now, I’m in the waiting phase where all the major stuff is set, and not much is going on in the way of planning, so I don’t really have much to tell. Even my mom seems to expect me to talk about the wedding all the time and is disappointed when I don’t have updates. So please, if you see me, talk about the weather.

Have you hit the wedding planning wall? How are you dealing with it?

  • 4/29

    “I’m just ready to be done with it.”

    I’ve heard these famous words from every bride I’ve ever talked to in the final weeks of planning their wedding day. From mapping out every minute of the day, to keeping track of dates and pulling out that wallet for every final payment, it’s understandable how brides can be totally over it. What I didn’t understand is how I could get to that point.

    But I have a confession: I have been feeling extremely overwhelmed as of late. I was handling everything so well, wondering if and when that day would come, but all of the sudden — whack!– – I’ve been hit with a ton of little thoughts that is turning into one huge stress ball.

    Although the DIY way is the cheapest way, it certainly has its drawbacks. What you save in money, you make up for with time, which has me wondering if it’s even physically possible to get everything done by June. But this is me we’re talking about here — the uber-organized, never-missed-a-deadline me. I can do this, and this is how.

    Make to do lists and set reminders

    There’s something you should know about me. I’m a super fan of making to-do lists — in life, at work, and throughout our wedding planning process. Crossing tasks off my list is one of the most fulfilling feelings! I’m generally good at remembering dates, too, but for the life of me, I can’t remember which vendor is owed what and when it’s owed. That’s when I count on my Reminders app. I set my phone to remind me of every vendor’s due date a week before they’re actually due to ensure I don’t miss a payment.

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    Don’t obsess or stress

    Not only should you make a list of things you need to get done, but you should make a list of your top priorities — emphasis on *your.* Don’t sweat the small stuff. Yeah, it would be nice to come up with really thought-out invitations packaged in a big pretty bow, but if you have more important priorities, there is no harm in sending out simple, straight-to-the-point invitations. The message will be the same!

    Limitations (like running out of time … or money!) aren’t always bad. So many brides worry about what their guests will think about their wedding day, but in the end, as long as the music is good, the food is tasty and the bride and groom are happy, that’s what counts. I’m slowly but surely learning this.

    Come back to Earth

    When you’re feeling completely stressed out, take a step back and remember what you’re doing all of this for. Yes, it’s the first event you host as husband and wife, but don’t forget that everyone has come together to celebrate your marriage! I, too, am guilty of getting absorbed in the details of the day, so much so that we’re still putting our ceremony together.

    What I can say, though, is that I have taken weeks at a time off from thinking about the wedding — and it was so nice to take a breather (even if I do sometimes regret it now)! At this point in the game, I can’t afford to take weeks off anymore, but I still don’t let my planning completely consume my life, and that can sometimes mean fending off questions about the big day.

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    It’s not so much that I’m over it, but I’m 100% ready for the day to finally be here. It will be worth it once I can see our hard work put in place, with all of our favorite people together — and of course, having a brand-spankin’ new husband at the end of the day will be the most rewarding part!

    How are you feeling about your progress, BABs? Did you reach burnout? Have you forged ahead? Tell us in the comments below!

  • 3/11

    Credit: Jon Black Photography Hey guys! Today's post is more about saving your mind, instead of your pennies. Life in am dram world has been incredibly busy -- my fiancé and I have been in three musicals in the last six months, and so time to do wedding-y stuff has been limited. And guess what? That's fine. When you start planning your wedding, it can be easy to…

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    1/19

    Replace "job" with "wedding planning" and this is me. After my fiancé and I got engaged in May, I threw myself head-first into wedding planning. I LOVED IT. I’m a project manager by training and I love doing research. Wedding planning was also my excuse to buy all those wedding magazines I love instead of spending an afternoon at Barnes & Noble thumbing through them with…

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    7/17

    Dear fellow Broke-Ass Brides, have you ever wanted to take a weekend and just get the hell away from everything? Even more importantly, have you made time to do so and will you *actually* go through with it? We are all learning that this whole wedding planning process? ... Well, it can be a bit much. (*coughUNDERSTATEMENTcough*) As such, it's important to realize that the spreadsheets,…

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    8/19

    I sat down to write a Flab to Fab post but.... honestly I'm just not feeling it. Its been a very rough couple of weeks here at Broke-Ass HQ, and I thought I could just power through, but um... that's not working out so well. *cue video of my huge weepy meltdown yesterday morning* I can't quite muster my usual cheerful optimism, but I don't…

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