6/1 Real Bride Katie: Eluding Bridezilla

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I’m Not a Bridezilla Button from Zazzle

My Netflix has lead me astray.

We’ve gotten hooked on the absolute hot mess that is “Bridezillas.” I joke that we watch it so that my fiance realizes just how good he has it, but really, it’s just entertaining trash TV that’s easy to binge on.

For the most part, I watch all of their meltdowns wondering why on earth they care so much about such silly little details, and why they think they can treat the people around them with such utter disrespect. But it does make me think about my own attitude throughout wedding planning.

By nature, I tend to be a little obsessive. I figure out what I want, and then comb the Internet to find the best way to make the vision in my head a reality. This is sometimes easy, and sometimes results in weeks of constant Googling to find a bridesmaids dress. My rationalization is that as long as my obsessiveness doesn’t spill over on to anyone else, I can go on my merry way being a little crazy, without making demands on other people.

The problem with this attitude is that it makes it pretty hard to ask for help. I’m in a big stretch of work currently — I just started rehearsing a musical, which will open right when a massive payment to my venue is due, and will close right about when I want to start getting invitations out. That means I’m losing most of my nights right when I have a project with a pretty hard deadline, and it makes me nervous. My sister mentioned that she bought a group of friends and family dinner, and had an assembly line to finish hers. This sounds like a great idea, until I picture all those bridezillas yelling at their loved ones for not putting a piece together exactly right, or forcing them to work until the wee hours of the morning finishing something that, ultimately, doesn’t matter. I then wonder if my friends and loved ones would see me that way if I asked them for help! Which is, of course, a ridiculous thought, given how many offers for help I’ve received.

The bridezilla image is a cautionary tale, but we shouldn’t let it convince us that we aren’t allowed to ask for help, and that we have to take on everything alone. If I don’t let my wedding turn me into something I’m not, then I should be able to make reasonable choices and ask for help when I need it in the spirit of love and friendship.

How do you navigate the line between asking for help and coming off as ‘zilla-y?

Katie is a Real Bride Contributor for The Broke-Ass Bride. She is also a lawyer, an actor, a creep, a burlesque performer, a stage manager, and a writer - and that's just the things she gets paid for! In the rare moments that she is off the clock, she enjoys reading, TV both trashy and legit, movies, and hanging out with her fiance, two cats, Pip and Muffin, and a rescued German Shepherd named Spark.