1/19 Real Bride Jubilance: Bridal Burnout Has Taken Over

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Replace “job” with “wedding planning” and this is me.

After my fiancé and I got engaged in May, I threw myself head-first into wedding planning. I LOVED IT. I’m a project manager by training and I love doing research. Wedding planning was also my excuse to buy all those wedding magazines I love instead of spending an afternoon at Barnes & Noble thumbing through them with a chai latte. I’m not the only person that’s done that right? Planning was pretty easy breezy and I was enjoying the experience … emphasis on was.

Y’all … our wedding is less than 60 days away … and I’m officially over it. I’m done. I wanna quit wedding planning so damn bad.

There are plenty of things we have left to do, but I have zero interest or energy to do any of it. I come home each night feeling like I should take care of wedding stuff, but all I want to do is sleep. Originally I was excited to do DIY projects; now I just want to buy something from Etsy and call it a day. I got a guest room full of stuff from Michaels that SHOULD be turning into cute paper flowers and chair signs … but for now it’s just collecting dust. Michaels is making a mint off of me buying stuff for this wedding, BTW. I really don’t want to make another damn decision, do anymore research or look at a million options. And of course, now is the time when all the little decisions have to be made. Joy.

Shit has gotta get done … so I’m plugging through, but not as enthusiastically as when I started this damn thing. I vented to a coworker who is also a recent bride, and she told me the secret to getting through this period: delegating. I haven’t delegated anything, mostly because I didn’t want to burden anyone. Whenever you hear wedding stories, you hear about brides who were bridezillas and expected too much from their friends & family.  I vowed that wouldn’t be me and now I’ve got bridal burnout. I hope there’s a cure for that.

Since I don’t give a damn about things like I once did, I’ve outsourced planning the rehearsal dinner to my fiancé and his mom. My Twitter timeline has also responded to my random cries of “where are all the cute blue wedding shoes that aren’t $800???” with links, resources, and ideas. Who said Twitter wasn’t a village? Oh and Twitter also helped me pick a cute dress for my bridal shower too! I’m also counting down to when my day of coordinator takes over all of this madness and I can relax.

Is this normal? Do other brides get this lethargy? Will I ever get my wedding planning mojo back? I hope so cause there’s still so much left to do in the next two months.

Jubilance is a former mad scientist, First Lady of the #ThickAndNerdy and bride-in-training living in Minneapolis. She has a wealth of random useless knowledge which she loves to show off during trivia nights at her local bar. She's also an avid knitter, but please don't ask her to make you anything - it once took her a year to finish a simple scarf. Besides freaking out about her wedding, Jubilance can be found gallivanting across the Twin Cities as the leader of a Meetup group for Black professionals. She writes about her random adventures on Black Girl Unlost, and rants on Twitter (@Jubilance1922)
  • Mr. MMA

    I’m going to share this with my wife. This definitely gives us flashbacks of our wedding planning experience! Tomorrow makes 4 months for us. Even though it was a very happy and as perfect-as-can-be day, we definitely would have gotten married in court if we could do it all over again lol!

  • Marissa

    OMG, if I am not experience the same damn thing! Having to deal with everything from little last minute things I had no clue to even think about (Chair signs??) to a seating chart/guest list nightmare, I just want to throw something. lol I’m tired of looking at Etsy. I’m tired of looking for matching accessories. I’m tired thinking about the seating chart. I’m tired of looking at pieces of paper that cost $50 just because they have the words Bride and Groom on them. I’m tired of looking at rhinestone jewelry that costs a squillion dollars just because it has the word BRIDAL in the listing. Burned out is not the word. I just want the wedding day to be here already… *sigh*

  • Shevvi Crowley

    Take everything back to Michaels that you can. We don’t need any of that to have a great wedding experience with you.

  • 50Peach

    Real Bride Peach here – YES to the delegating! Your people love you. They want to help. Let them.

    And gurrrl, it’s completely normal to be over it. But I think easing your workload will help you get back some of your mojo. The other thing? Don’t get too bogged down in details of the day. Do you really need all those DIY things? Will anyone other than you notice if they aren’t there? Doubt it. Maybe re-evaluate what is truly important to you?

    Whatever you decide, you’re still getting married to your person and that’s what matters. Embrace it. xo

  • Firefly

    It’s like you know my life. Only I can’t delegate… the only people I have to delegate to are people with babies or young kids, who are moving, or who are huge flakes, so that I delegate 40% of the stuff I need done but only 10% of it actually gets done by people- maybe more if I spend more effort nagging them to do things they said they’d do. *All but one* of my best friends live or have moved either out of the province or out of the country, and the remainder that live here suck at this stuff, and won’t do it. Add to that that I can’t delegate anything much to my fiancee, because I live in Canada and he’s in Australia finishing a PhD. I come home every night feeling like I want to collapse and cry, push myself to at least do something, and then wake up the next day feeling like I don’t want to get out of bed, and then push myself to go to work. I loved wedding stuff to begin with, but I kind of just can’t wait for it to all be done with.