4/21 Real Bride Elissa: Dealing with Accessory Regret

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A few weeks ago I wrote about how excited I was about my customized wedding dress – it’s very unique and very me. I also found some gorgeous, comfortable low wedges (and then bought two more pairs in other colors for work, if that says something), the perfect dangly earrings, a matching belt, and a really fantastic feathered, sparkly hair clip for the reception. I can’t wait to put everything together on the big day … except my veil. I really, really dislike the veil I bought, and it’s non-refundable, non-exchangeable, and, unlike the rest of my bridal ensemble, non-Elissa. I tried it on when I initially bought my dress, and loved the way it coordinated with the ribbon belt I put on in the store. The salesgirl told me it was the only one left (in hindsight a sales tactic), and I got caught up in the thrill of the find. I never even looked at the pricetag – it was such a simple veil, one narrow layer of tulle, how bad could it be? It ended up being $80, and even though I felt in my gut that wasn’t a good price, I let the WIC get the best of me and plunked down my credit card.

So now, almost a year later, the look of my dress, and my bridal look altogether, has changed so drastically from what I envisioned when I bought the veil. I so wish I’d saved this piece for last, or at least shopped around a bit more, because now I’m feeling stuck. Buying another veil is certainly easy enough, but I’m feeling guilty about essentially wasting $80, especially since I’ll likely only be wearing the veil for an hour or two.

Option One: Get over myself and wear the darn veil. It’s really not that bad, but it’s just not what I’m envisioning for my day. I feel like it’s kind of plain, cheaply constructed, and doesn’t add anything, but chances are strong that I’ll be caught up in the joy of my wedding day and not care anymore.

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Option Two: Like a proud BAB, try and get crafty and re-configure the veil I have. One of the styles I’m leaning toward is an oversized birdcage. I have plenty of tulle to play with on my current fingertip option, but the ribbon edging on it may prove tricky, and I could ruin it altogether. I wouldn’t be able to either wear it or re-sell it, and will have truly wasted the $80.

veil etsy

The Mabel Birdcage Veil from Etsy

Option Three: Get over myself and buy a new veil. My bridesmaid Emily made a great point: yes, I’m only wearing it for two hours on my wedding day, but I’ll be wearing it for the rest of my life in photos. Why tinge them with any kind of regret? With this option, I can try and sell my current veil on a site like Tradesy or OnceWed.

Even if I decide to go this route though, I still can’t even settle on a style – I just know it has to be different than the one I have. I’ve trolled Etsy for days, and visited a few other bridal salons (including one who tried to sell me a five-foot-long piece of plain ivory tulle for $650). Do I go retro with the oversized birdcage, that shows off the detail on my dress? Classic and dramatic with a chapel length and blusher that can romantically blow in the wind? Or compromise with a full, two layer cascading elbow length, like the one below? I also can’t bring myself to spend more than $50 on a new one, as there are SO MANY other places I want to spend that money right now (like … an awesome meal on our honeymoon).

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I know I have to make a decision ASAP, so that I have plenty of time to order the new one if that’s the route I choose. I also know this is such a silly problem to have, but it does feel good to rant about it. And if nothing else comes from this, I hope another bride reads this post and thinks twice about impulse-buying something non-returnable, a year before the wedding!

Have you had any accessory regret? How did you deal with it?

Elissa Stooker
Elissa is currently trying to figure out what possessed her to go back to grad school, all while working full-time as a college advisor and planning her totally awesome garden wedding. Blogging for The Broke-Ass Bride is her much-needed break from writing papers about communication theory! A Southern transplant to the West Coast, her favorite things in life include Mexican food, useless trivia, and her snaggle-toothed rescue dog, Pickles. If you like pictures of flowers and puppies, follow her on Instagram at @socalliss, and on Pinterest at socalliss for all things wedding.
  • Julie

    Option 4: Resell this veil! You probably won’t make back the entire $80 but it may help out with some of the guilt AND you’ll be helping out another bride in need!

    • Agreed! Great option, but I think that was included in the umbrella of Option 3 🙂

      • Julie

        Oops! I need to learn to read better 🙁

        • Haha, no worries, girl! I totally had to do a double-take to ensure I hadn’t dreamt I read it in the first place. *more coffee plz*

  • Denise

    I was talked into a chapel length veil with a blusher, but she didn’t have that length in the store. She only had a hip length – it was a small shop and they had just moved. So I never actually tried it on and tried to walk around in it. I didn’t get the veil until 4 days before my wedding, and didn’t get it out until that morning. It ended up being cathedral length.
    Looking back, I wish I would have gone with an ankle length. It was a pain trying to maneuver around in, and I took it out when releasing our guests from church so they wouldn’t pull it out.
    Try before you buy!
    I haven’t seen my professional photographers photos yet, so maybe I will change my mind when I see those.

  • Amy

    I got suckered into buying a tiara when I bought my dress. Maybe I’ll love it when I go to try the dress on again, but I’m worried I will hate it! You think resell is the best bet?

  • Justine B

    I did that with an accessory. An awesome $100 flower clip I was going to wear on my belt but decided was just too much. My bridal salon let me return the accessory and use the cost of it as a credit towards something else in the shop (which actually ended up being my veil). Maybe they will let you do that?

  • PracticalPlanner

    Two options if you go the buy new route: Look on ebay. Lots of options (from China) for <$10. Travel time for mine was ~2 weeks, and it's true to the description/pictures. Or – check local bridal consignment shops. In my major metro area, they have bins, and all are $10.