3/13 Real Bride Danielle: How Do You Jumpstart an Idle MOH?

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Erica Kristen and I

The four in the middle:  planner/doer, her fiance, me and my MOH

When it comes time to pick your ladies to stand by you, take into consideration their particular skill sets before you ask them. I have an overwhelming six bridesmaids. I have one that is a doer and a planner. There’s an artsy one, one with a green thumb, a miniature one whose mom can bake, my sister who’s also a doer and knows me, and my best friend who is a doer. I love them all and am happy to have them with me as they all bring great skills to the table.

What do you do though, when your maid of honor doesn’t happen to be the one with the planning skills and is more of a doer? My maid of honor has been there to hold my hand through every minor meltdown over flowers, panic attack over dates, venue wrestling matches and the like. She has my back and is super skilled in calming my ass down when I get overwhelmed. She’ll happily go gallivanting off on some inane wedding related mission with me at the last minute and is basically just a boss bro. She apparently, cannot, however plan a shower or bachelorette party to save her life.

It’s weird, I never really considered the shower at all when I was planning. It’s not really my job, someone is just supposed to throw you one. Now, there is nothing saying that the maid of honor has to plan your shower — sometimes moms do that. My mom is ALSO not the planning type, nor is his. Some of my more planning and doing ‘maids keep asking me about the shower, as if I have the answers. I don’t. I even went so far to just out right pick the venue for my maid of honor. All she had to do was book it and use one of the six approved dates we all agreed on. No dice.

So what do I do?

I’ve been going back and forth on this one for a while. My wedding is in six months. If a shower is happening, we should probably let people know soonish, or at the very least, book the place. She has apologized about a million times for being a bad maid of honor and I continually list her strengths and points of valor. I finally just out right asked her, bro, do you need help? Because, there are 4.5 other bridesmaids who would happily rally to your side, you legit only have to ask. I’m not quite sure if she’s afraid to ask for help or what, but she still hasn’t.

OK fine, I asked my sister to make the menu. All my MOH has to do is ask the planner, who is sitting idly on the runway, to go launch and book the venue. The rest of them can do decorations or whatever else goes into a shower. I even already asked the planner if she’d book the venue and she’s happy to, but has a bunch of questions only my MOH has the answers to and didn’t want to ask her without stepping on her toes. OMFG Y’ALL! This is a friggin party that I’d rather not stress over, you have done everything else beautifully. You’d never hesitate any other time making things happen. Why oh why can’t this one tiny thing happen?

My MOH really does rock, she just doesn’t have planning parties up her sleeve. What would you do, how would handle this? Help?