11/23 Real Bride Amy: Do You Ever Just Want to Quit?

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Wedding planning and preparation can be stressful. It has it’s ups and downs, twists and turns. There’s drama with friends, family and vendors. Decisions upon decisions. Money. Money. More money. It can be a lot for a person or a couple to handle.

Throughout my planning process, I’ve certainly experienced some stress!  There’s been changes with my venue, my coordinator and disagreements with good friends. As I’m searching through pages of cake vendors and florists, scanning Pinterest for inspiration, there are times when I ask myself if it’s really all worth it.

Etsy Alligator Food Design Let's Elope Print

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We went into our planning with a vision: We wanted our friends and family to come and join us for a weekend away. The over-and-done nature of weddings has always frustrated me. So much goes into planning them and they are over in just a few hours. Everyone goes home and the wedding hangover begins. We found a spot where everyone could gather and spend time for more than just a few hours, more than just one day. Fast forward a few months as we are putting the details together, and we start talking to our guests about our plans. Our enthusiasm has quickly turned to reservation as some of our guests have started to express theirs. We haven’t sent out official invites yet, so we don’t have RSVPs, but it sounds like not everyone else is buying into our weekend festivities idea.

It’s been hard to think that some our loved ones may not show. I realize we chose the venue, but the whole point of all this planning is to share the day, and celebrate with others. Otherwise, we would have just eloped. It would have been a whole lot easier and a heck of a lot less stressful! I’m telling myself that it doesn’t matter if only 20 people show up, that it’s really just about us, but sometimes I really just want to call the whole thing off, fly to a little island, say “I Do” and watch the sunset.

Have you hit this point in wedding planning? How did you move past it? Any advice to share?

Amy is an outside-the-box Upstate N.Y. busy bride-to-be! She squeezes in wedding planning between her day job in healthcare, her second job as a makeup artist, an 8-year-old soon-to-be stepson and blogging for BAB as well as a local community blog. She tries to have a social life and occasionally sleeps. In her precious free time, you'll find her snuggling on the couch with her favorites, her two rescue pups, catching up on her shows and eating a snack that is not on the pre-wedding diet. Follow her on Instagram @beautywithsass.
  • Julie

    You are not alone. I don’t know of a bride who hasn’t hit this wall at some point. You’ll probably hear this from a million different people but I promise you it will all come together and be worth it in the end and you’ll be stronger for it. Talk things over with people more. See what their reservations are. Maybe their not seeing your vision of your day the way you are? Maybe they have valid concerns you haven’t thought about? A lot of people looked at me like I had three heads during my planning process with some ideas I had. It was good to have the perspective of others and sometimes I took their advice and other times I just continued to do what was right for us as a couple. The same people that acted like I had three heads were super excited as the wedding actually approached (and was no longer just an abstract idea in the future) and were impressed when the wedding actually came to fruition at how well it all pulled together. People will show up to support you no matter what. I hope things get easier for you soon!

  • I’ve only been at it for about 10 weeks and I’m getting ready to give up myself. We reallllllly should have eloped. The worst part for me isn’t the stress of event planning itself, it’s managing other people’s (parents, siblings, etc) expectations. I just want to have the smallish wedding I want!

  • Kim

    I think a big reason for wedding drama is that there’s such a difference in perspectives between a person who is planning a wedding and someone who isn’t and hasn’t (at least not recently). Like, you see weekend of togetherness and love and wonderful experiences you’ve crafted for your guests. Your guests want to celebrate your wedding, but they probably see a wedding weekend as a long event that they have little or no control over, when they’ll be around a lot of people they may or may not know or like, that’s probably going to seem or be expensive, and that won’t leave them any down time between work weeks. (I’m sure they have nice thoughts, too, but I imagine at least some of their reservations feel like this to them.) That’s not to say that you shouldn’t have the wedding you want, or that they should be unloading all of this on you. It’s just to say that they probably won’t be able to see it as quite the community- and guest-focused event that you will, and that yeah, probably some or a lot would prefer a “traditional” wedding timeframe, but at the end of the day they care about you and want to support you and it’s your wedding, so do what makes your (and your fiance’s) heart happiest.