Broke-Ass Category: Heather H

10/17

Affiliate Disclaimer NewAsk Heather: What are My Other Registry Options?

Yes, it’s totally OK to register for your honeymoon.

Dear Heather,

I’m helping my daughter with her wedding details. She and her fiance are 31 and 40 years old and have been living together for several years, so they don’t need the normal registry items like a toaster, a blender, towels, etc. They are hoping to buy a home together and maybe some larger pieces of household furnishings. Is a money tree an option? If so, how do you set it up and does it need to be attended at the reception? What about cards, or a gift basket? How do you address this issue in an invitation? Are there other options? I look forward to your input. Thank you.

Jlee (older generation mother-of-the-bride that got toasters!)

Dear MOB Jlee,

I’ve somewhat addressed this issue in a few previous columns, but I think it’s worth it to tackle it again, since it seems to be an ongoing issue with BAB readers.

When it comes to registering for a wedding, there are many, many options. Speaking of not getting a toaster, BAB did a post a while back about PresentValue, which is a way to ask for monetary gifts rather than more traditional items. Other options include Hatch My House and Traveler’s Joy, a honeymoon registry. Even with these types of registries, though, I would still have a more typical registry (or one that combines the two, like Blueprint Registry), since there are some guests who simply prefer to give an actual gift rather than money. I have faith that your daughter and her fiancé can come up with some material items they could use. Personally, I’m of the opinion that one can never have too many towels, and spare bedsheets are always useful. They could also register for upgraded versions of items they already have.

In regards to letting folks know where you’ve registered, it’s typical to include this information with shower invitations, since the whole purpose of a shower is to “shower” the guest of honor with gifts. You can also have a wedding website and include registry information on it, with the URL for the website printed on the wedding invitations. And simply letting close friends and family members know where the couple has registered also works.

As far as having a money tree, I’m not a huge fan of setting one up at the wedding reception. It looks a bit too “gift grabby” in that setting. Instead, I would have a basket or box for cards, and a table for those folks who bring the gift to the wedding rather than sending it to the couple in advance. Doing a money tree at a bridal shower, though, would be far more appropriate.

Are you planning on doing a money tree? Did you use a cash registry website? If so, what was your experience? Let us know in the comments below!

HeatherH
  • 10/10

    Wine Glasses

    Dear Heather,

    I have an etiquette question for you. Someone sent me a gift in the mail, and it was off registry. It is a kitchen item I already own. It didn’t have a receipt, so I don’t know how or where to return it. What do I do?

    Ansley

    Dear Ansley,

    Hopefully there was a card with the gift, so you at least know who sent it. If so, and it’s a close friend or family member, I see nothing wrong with calling them and explaining that, due to them clearly having fabulous taste, you already own what they purchased for you, and that you’d like to exchange their present for something you don’t already have. If they’ve already given you something, clearly they want you to enjoy whatever you end up getting! In a perfect world, they might even still have the receipt, which would make your life much easier.

    If that won’t work, but the item in question is fairly common, I’d go to a store with a liberal return or exchange policy and simply ask if you can exchange it for something else, explaining that it was a present without a gift receipt included. You can verify ahead of time, either online or in person, that the store sells the item you need to exchange.

    If the gift is uncommon, or only sold at stores with a painful exchange policy, you can attempt to exchange it for something else, or save it for later re-gifting. Just make sure you don’t give it back to the person who gave it to you.

    Have you received any off-registry gifts that you either already owned or did not want? Did you exchange them or just end up keeping them? Let us know in the comments below!

    HeatherH
  • 10/3

    This card should do the trick! Available from Etsy seller PattersonPaper Dear Heather, I haven't asked anyone to be my bridesmaid yet, because I'm scared they'll say no when I tell them I can't afford to buy their dresses. How do I broach the subject to them without putting them in a position where they feel like they can't say no? Heather Dear Heather, Awesome…

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    9/26

    Seed bomb favors from Beau-Coup Dear Heather, Is it absolutely necessary to have favors aside from goodie bags you give to your traveling guests? Brittney Dear Brittney, No. I'm so incredibly tempted to just leave it at that ... you have no idea. However, I'm guessing some of you would appreciate a little elaboration. When it comes to a legally-binding wedding, the only things truly necessary…

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    9/19

    Image courtesy of Larry Donoso Dear Heather, Is, "where the heck do we even start?" a sufficient question? Jessica Dear Jessica, Absolutely! I suggest starting with the trifecta of guest list, venue, and budget, as all of them directly impact the other in non-negotiable ways. The absolute first thing I recommend doing is making an all-inclusive, "if we get to invite absolutely everyone we want,"…

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    9/12

    Image courtesy of Photo Pink Dear Heather, I have no idea where to start for my bridesmaids' dress shopping. Help! Apanda Dear Apanda, I have a confession to make: I hate shopping for clothing. Therefore, I am probably not the best person to be answering this. Hopefully, though, some of our readers will chime in and leave some comments! I'm not sure if you're struggling…

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    8/22

    Image courtesy of Photo Pink Dear Heather, I refuse to spend big bucks on flowers. What else could I use? Brittany Dear Brittany, The possibilities are endless, and I love non-floral decor. I even have a tag on my business blog dedicated to this very topic. Because I have faith in your ability to Google for images, I'm only going to include a handful of…

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    8/15

    Image courtesy of Randy Hershfield Dear Heather, I'm reading mixed messages about tipping vendors! Help! Tiffany I'd like to know about the vendors as well! Photographer, DJ, baker ... Charlie Dear Tiffany and Charlie, I'm of the opinion that the only vendor you truly need to tip is your wedding planner, ideally around 40%. ... Okay, just kidding. Well, sort of ;) Technically, you don't…

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    8/8

    Image courtesy of Creature Comforts Dear Heather, I just got a notification that a wedding guest pledged a large amount of money towards my honeymoon fund registry. This person is a new friend of my fiance; I've only met them once. Do I thank them right away or just send a thank you after the wedding, which is in two months? Is it weird to…

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