Broke-Ass Author: Danielle Griggs

8/28

So we are exactly a week away from our wedding date and just like when I got engaged, everyone keeps asking me the same questions.

Are you getting excited?

Are you nervous?

I nearly dropped kicked my poor father in the throat yesterday for being the 634876506 person to ask me that.

Cutting out monograms for dad handkerchiefs

No, I am not excited. I am on the brink of having an anxiety melt down honestly. No I’m not worried about getting married or spending my life with Michael or anything that dramatic. I’m more just pacing back and forth anxiously with my clipboard backstage, triple-checking with my stage hands to make sure everything is in place before the curtain rises.

Completed Dad Handkerchiefs (and grandpa and best man)

My mother is not doing a single thing to assist in calming my anxiety explosions. She insisted that she wanted to get the officiant for the wedding as she did not like my first choice person. Fine, whatever, not worth a battle. Fast forward to now, a week before the wedding and she STILL DOES NOT HAVE A PERSON. Yep, did you just hear the record scratch and audience gasp of horror too? Mom and I both work in financial aid in colleges. I get that it is her busiest time of year, but it wasn’t a few months ago. She has had a very long time to do this and simply has not. *grinds teeth*

Gift boxes I made for all 12 of the handkerchiefs

Mom and I went to Sam’s Club yesterday to get a ton of supplies we’ll need for the wedding like coffee cups, bowls for the ice cream, soda, etc. As we are standing in the aisle that has the disposable chafing dishes and I’m getting ready to put more pans in the cart, she clears her throat and declares she has changed her mind and wants to rent them instead. *pinches bridge of nose*

This was a Saturday.

Most rental places are closed on the weekend. I am getting married in seven days. You decide now you want to try to rent something for Labor Day Weekend? *begins counting as high as I can in Japanese and then German*

Applying Vinyl to Bridesmaid Cups

It’s the tiny little bits of chaos like this that are causing me to eat TUMS like candy. I overcame one of my giant hurdles last night and tried on my dress again. It fits, mostly. I’ve been much more active in the past few months as the new job requires walking about three miles a day. I’ve lost 26lbs since April. My last dress fitting was in maybe May or June. The dress is a tiny bit loose on top in the boob area but my mom and sister insist that it doesn’t look bad and it’s all in my head how very loose it is. On some level I know they are just trying to have me calm down and get me to embrace something that I couldn’t change even if I wanted to. Hopefully they are right. As I look out at the barren field where I sow all my fucks, I realize I have had no more to give for quite some time.

Finished Bridesmaid Cup

I’ve been working like mad the past few days finishing up the last of the wedding projects. I finished making all the handkerchiefs for the dads, made gift boxes for all the boys pocket handkerchiefs, finished the cups for the girls, and several other projects. Getting things done and being able to check them off the list is incredibly calming. I know that by Wednesday, whatever is still not done is simply not getting done. It helps calm the inner freak out. These tiny moments of zen are what will get me to the wedding day. I’ve started making a point of telling people in the office to warn others off asking me if I’m excited. The next person to ask very well may find my foot lodged in their throat.

Have you reached this point in planning your wedding yet?

  • 8/15

    Weddings are one of the last grazing grounds where the nearly extinct thank you card can be seen. These rare beasts are comprised of mostly paper, ink and the occasional adhesive to hold it all together. Many find the art of creating these near mythical beasts difficult, but I’m here to lead you through this wilderness.

    Thank you cards generally have six parts.

    A greeting, the actual thank you, details, a personal touch, another thank you and closing.

    Assorted Thank You Card from Amazon for $12

    Greeting

    Dear Great Aunt Ethel.  

    Start your card with the person(s)’ name and a salutation. Make sure you have their name spelled correctly.

    Thank You For

    Thank you for the lovely blue KitchenAid Mixer.

    Thank you for the (insert descriptive adjective) gift of (insert gifts). Try to be as descriptive as possible to show that you actually appreciate the gift, even if you have every intention of returning the gift. If the gift was cash, avoid saying “thanks for the cash” but instead try something like, “thank you for your generous gift.”

    Details

    We are looking forward to mixing batches of cookies much quicker and easier.

    Explain what you plan to use the gift for. If it’s an appliance, describe using it in your home. If it is a decoration, explain where you will hang/use the item. When you’ve received cash, explain what you plan on spending it on. Added details makes it sound like you are genuinely appreciative for the item.

    Personal Touch

    We love you and are so glad you were able to share our special day.

    Let your gift giver(s) know that you care for them as more than a giver of swag. If you will see them somewhere in the near future, mention you are looking forward to it. If you haven’t seen them in a long time, mention how great it was seeing them and how happy you are they traveled miles/hours/days to see you.

    Restate Thank You

    Thank you again for helping make our little apartment into a home.

    Take the thank you given in step 2 and rephrase it.

    Closing

    With love, Michael and Danielle.

    You can also use sincerely if it’s a vague second cousin twice removed. Yours truly, regards, warm regards, or lots of love are also solid choices.

    Printable Thank you Card from Etsy Seller FawnAndFloral for $9

    Like with any rare animal, there are always special laws and rules that surround them.

    Do Not

    Write your cards in glitter, wild colors or a pencil. Pick a nice simple blue or black ink to write in. If you must be fancy, try a fountain pen or a calligraphy pen. Also try to get a quick drying ink to avoid smudging.

    Ramble. People don’t read anymore and standard card size is usually 4×6″. Keep your card short and sweet.

    Type your cards. You are trying to show appreciation, take the time to hand write this out.

    Do

    Use nice stationery. They don’t have to match your wedding invitations/decor, but a box of blank cards are very inexpensive. No need to break the bank.

    Send a thank you card. Late is better than never. Wedding thank you card expectation is between one and three months after the wedding. If you are sending yours super late, also include an apology for the lateness.

    Hand write your cards. Your spouse and you can divide and conquer the stack of cards needed. Only one person needs to sign, but if you are both able to sign it is a nice touch.

    And there you have it, the simple breakdown of the thank you card. Now go forth and let some of these magnificent beasts out into the wild.

  • 8/1

    It's really weird: Growing up, my little sister and I did not get along together at all. We are five years apart and at a young age the difference is unforgivable. In more recent years we are both coming to the realization that it's possible that we are both humans. It's a strange tingly new feeling. We actually talk to each other now and hang…

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    7/17

    We’re in the home stretch for the wedding now. The countdown is at seven weeks. Last week, at the eight-week mark I had a mini panic attack about how close the wedding was and how much was undone. To calm myself, I sat down and tried to do two of the larger tasks that were left. I was finally able to tackle the program and…

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    7/5

    Wedding planning definitely teaches you a lot of lessons about yourself and you as a couple that you might not have previously known. It has brought my little sister and I much closer together. We are five years apart and were never really close until maybe a year or two ago. I wish I had asked her to be my maid of honor. The idea never…

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    6/19

    I got engaged Memorial Day Weekend in 2016. We set our wedding date for September of the next year because September is a special month for us and it gave us about 15 months to save for our wedding. I asked all my girls to be my bridesmaids and I was locked and loaded to go. I was trying to be gracious. Then one of…

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    6/6

    Keepsake box from Etsy Seller mariaallenboutique Tradition recommends a bride have something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue as she goes down the aisle. I’ve been throwing tradition to the wind all Willy Nilly the entire time but this one gives me pause. Four items -- how hard can that be? Famous last words. Obviously the something new is easy enough. Essentially everything I’m wearing is…

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    5/23

    Gift-giving is perhaps one of my favorite pastimes. Michael thinks I’m insane for getting the amount of sheer joy I get from purchasing/making, wrapping and giving gifts to others. I also love getting gifts, too. Yes, I have come to terms with the fact that I’m a small child trapped in a grown person’s body. That being said, I have known, even before we got…

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    5/9

    An older person once told me that you shouldn’t marry someone unless they were your best friend. At the time I didn’t really understand what he meant, but I think I have a better idea now. Michael and I have been going out for almost eight years now. We’ve fought as fiercely as siblings at times. We’ve laughed so hard we cried and cried so…

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