10/26 {Ask Liz} Exes On The Guest List & Two Parties In One Day

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SERIOUSLY, with these things!

Hi Liz,

I have a dilemma. Our daughter is getting married this March. She and her fiance do not want a certain family (our neighbors) to be invited to the wedding. Six years ago our future son-in-law dated our neighbor’s daughter, against their will. The parents make it very obvious they do not like him. The problem is, if they are not invited, it will most likely end the long lasting friendship between both our sons (who are in 8th and 9th grade). I know the mother will find every way to keep the two friends apart. We also see them regularly in our small town. Our daughter used to be good friends with their daughter, but they’ve  grown apart. I am afraid if I voice my concerns to the neighbor it will be writing a death sentence to our friendship. I also don’t want to upset our daughter or her future husband. Do we invite them hoping they do not come because they dislike him? Our daughter thinks the wife and daughter will make sure they come to spite our future son-in-law. If we do invite them and they come, do we tell the bride and groom to ignore them??? Help!


The Trouble Next Door

Dear Trouble,

So, if it was your daughter’s choice, she would not invite them. That is all you need to know.  It’s your daughter’s wedding, and they actively dislike her fiance. And, since they do not like him – he dated their daughter, and apparently that did not go well – they will either not come, or come out of spite (!!). If this is the situation, they should not expect to get an invitation. Why would they expect to get an invitation to their daughter’s ex-boyfriend’s wedding, anyway? And, if they do come, your daughter should just ignore them? That’s just incredibly awkward and not fun. And, in the way of human beings, won’t ease their resentment one iota. Your daughter definitely needs to leave your neighbors off the guest list. Resist the urge to explain or apologize.

It’s important to stay awake, right up until the point where you pass out.

Dear Liz,

I’m going to be having the bridal shower and bachelorette party all in the same day to accommodate a couple out of town guests. My biggest concern is I’m the ‘wildest’ of my girl friends and I am worried with two parties in one day my friends will lose steam or not want to participate (aka drink) and get wild with me. How do I keep the energy levels up without feeling like I’m pulling teeth and everyone still legitimately has fun?


Gotta Party Night and Day

Dear Party,

Space the two events far enough apart so that folks have time to take a 3-4 hour break and/or a “disco nap” before they have to leave for the bachelorette party. Yes, that will might make for an earlyish shower, but everyone will be grateful for the downtime. Perhaps stock Red Bull in the limo, along with the champagne?

So, whaddya think? Did you have the same trouble that Trouble did, or are you worried about falling asleep on the dance floor like Party? Let me know below!

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz Coopersmith is the owner of Silver Charm Events, a wedding planning service in Los Angeles. She's also a regular contributor to the Huffington Post and the author of "DIY Your DOC: Do-it Yourself Wedding Day Coordination." Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.