8/31 Ask Liz: About Bridesmaid Backlash

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I am JUST saying. (Courtesy of PopSugar.com)

Dear Liz:
When my fiance & I got engaged, we were so excited!  So excited that I asked four girls to be my bridesmaids.   I now think it would be best if I only had my ONE maid of honor and that’s it, plus it’s  gotten too complicated managing all them.  But how exactly do you un-bridesmaid someone without making them upset?


Three to Go

Dear Three,

This is a tough one, but, it’s doable. You have a couple of things in your favor. First thing, believe it or not, is that Kate and William did it, so you have a big public precedent!  The second thing is that you’re not just cutting one or two bridesmaids, you’re cutting all of them, so no one is being left out.  It would make it even easier  if  your fiance agrees to cut his crew down to a best man, too, which will further justify only having one attendant on your side.  Explain to them that YOU AND YOUR FIANCE  agreed to simplify things, so (start with this) he is only having a Best Man, which means you’re just going to have a Maid of Honor. It has the added benefit of being true, too – you are trying to simplify your wedding. And try to avoid using the word “You”, as in “You’re really busy”, “You don’t have time,” or, most especially, “You and I aren’t that close anymore.” Take the fall. You can also assign them different tasks during your wedding, like helping with the guest book or the place cards,  or, even better, ask them to make  toasts. I’ve been seeing that a lot lately, friends who aren’t in the wedding party getting to say a little something. I can’t guarantee that their feelings won’t be hurt, but it should take away the sting a little.

Dear Liz:

Three Steps To A Beautiful and Prompt YOU.

I’ve been a bridesmaid three times, and with my own wedding coming up next month, I wanted to take extra special care of mine. I’m paying for their dresses, and for all of them to get their hair and make-up done. But, the last time I was a bridesmaid, the hair and make-up totally ran over and we ended up leaving the hotel almost an hour late. I do NOT want that to happen. How do I avoid it?


Getting Down the Aisle On Time

Dear Aisle,

Totally easy. Well, sort of.  This is what I do with my brides:  Step one is to talk to your hair and make-up people and figure out how long it’s going to get everyone done. Step two is to figure out when you need to leave to get to your ceremony on time. Step three is schedule hair and make-up to end an hour before you have to leave. You heard me. That gives you plenty of time for everyone to finish getting dressed, get their things, get in the car, or, seriously, just chill for a minute. Getting to chill is way better than having to run around like a crazy person shortly before you walk down the aisle.  The make-up will last, the hair will last, and if you  don’t believe me, ask the person doing it.

Why is this sort of easy? Well, depending on how many women are getting “done”, you might have to start the day really early. Sorry about that.

So, have any of you had to un-bridesmaid someone? How did you handle it? What’s the worst running late-after-makeup story you know about? Let us know below!

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz Coopersmith is the owner of Silver Charm Events, a wedding planning service in Los Angeles. She's also a regular contributor to the Huffington Post and the author of "DIY Your DOC: Do-it Yourself Wedding Day Coordination." Follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.