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There are two questions my brides always ask me that I have automatic answers to:
1. “Can I do X, Y or Z for my wedding?” The answer is: Yes.
2. “I’m not turning into Bridezilla, am I?” The answer is: No.
Both answers are true, every single time they ask. I think that it can be hard for women to accept that, a) we can have anything we want, it’s just a matter of figuring out how to get it, and b) we can expect to get what we ask for, and not be seen as a total b*tch by the outside world.
I’m not saying that Bridezilla doesn’t exist, but there is a difference. Say you’re looking at table linens and you can’t find the right shade of blue, or even worse, the wrong linens have already been delivered. Bridezilla will, perhaps, curse out everyone in the room, including the rental company, and end up crying in a corner somewhere that her wedding is ruined, without taking any positive action to rectify the situation. Is that you? I don’t think so. You would assess the situation and see what can be done, and given that, make a decision about what you want to do. Can they bring the right linens and change them over in time for the reception? Can you push back the reception to give them more time to do that? Can you get a discount or refund for the trouble? There is always a solution. If you can embrace the concept of “making it work”, you are not Bridezilla.
There are others of you who are thinking, “Well, if you have to have a certain shade of blue for your table linens, then you are Bridezilla.” Umm, really? You’re paying for this, right?
Your bridesmaids hate their dresses, your mother hates your dress, and you have a sneaking suspicion that your future mother-in-law hates YOU. Oh, God. Bridezilla would confront all the above, end up banning one or most of the above from her wedding, and demand that her fiance choose between her and his mother. You, on the other hand, well, you’re not going to be happy with any of this, either. But, you will thank your bridesmaid for being such a good friend and wearing the dress anyway on your one, special day. It’s one day. And you know that as far as your mother and his mother are concerned, their feelings are not about you, it’s about them. You love your dress, and you love your fiance. Your Mom wants you to be happy, and his mom wants him to be happy. You are, and he is, so smile and keep moving. If you are able to keep all these personal feelings in perspective without destroying the personal relationships involved, you are NOT Bridezilla.
See? It’s the response to a challenge that separates you from the girl on TV throwing cake at her florist. You’re not that girl, so stop asking me if you are. You are not unreasonable, you are not reactionary, and you would NEVER waste cake like that. You know?
So, when was the last time you thought you might be a Bridezilla, and realized that you were wrong? Or has someone wrongly accused you of being the B word? Let me know in the comments – I’ve got your back.
See you at the end of the aisle,