Broke-Ass Tag: Wedding planning


Photo: Jon Black Photography

Credit: Jon Black Photography

Last week I got an email with “exciting news” from my bridal store that my gown had arrived! I wasn’t expecting it until next month, so I was pleasantly surprised that it was ahead of schedule! I didn’t take my mom along during the dress shopping phase, so I brought her with me to pick it up.

We headed to the bridal shop and were greeted by the owner, who is now more of a friend. We had a sip of champagne and got down to business. I was anxious to see my dress since it was made by a smaller Brooklyn designer, so the sample I tried on looks nothing like the real thing. For one, I am no where near a sample size, and I ordered a different color then the sample I tried on. I’m not sure what I expected. Sometimes I feel like people make a bride’s gown out to have magical powers, like you should unzip the garment bag and a brilliant light will surround the dress. That didn’t happen for me. The dress is pretty — of course it is. The color is a bit different than I expected. The thousand different names for shades of white is misleading. This “ivory” looks more like “candlelight” to me. Good news is it fits!!! Despite being a foot too long for my 5’2″ frame, it should only need minor alterations.

So as I tried it on, and stood on the little pedestal and spun around, my mother sat there silently. She didn’t have much to say, just that it is pretty. Yep, we’ve established that already. I later got it out of her that “it’s not what she pictures when she thinks of a wedding dress.” Well gee, thanks, Mom. So we were both rather lackluster about the whole thing. You always see and hear about the tears and yelps of joy and champagne flowing when you try on THE dress, but I don’t think that’s real life. It’s a great moment, yes, but it’s also a business transaction. That kind of takes the fun out of it. I handed over my credit card, and left with the most expensive article of clothing I will ever own, that I will wear for all of a few hours and then pack it away.

I guess I’m the bummer bride, but this is one of the times in the wedding process where there is a lot of hype, but reality just can’t live up to it. It was actually all kind of sad for me. Not only was it anticlimactic, but it really is starting to feel like the beginning of the end. It makes it all very real and very soon, that it will be over soon, and this beautiful gown and everything else will just be memories. It’s just a day. And it’s just a dress.

Have you experienced any pseudo letdown moments during your planning? Anything you thought would be way more exciting that ended up being just kind of … meh?

  • 6/20

    Affiliate Disclaimer NewEtsy MyLittleShopofWonder Thanks for Holding My Dress CardCard available from Etsy seller MyLittleShopofWonder

    Although I’m not having a formal bridal party, or a formal wedding, I still have some great friends that are helping me celebrate. Some of my closest friends have come together to throw a shower for me. Sometimes it seems weddings become an exchange of gifts: Your bridesmaids do something for you, you buy them gifts. You feed your guests dinner, they buy you gifts. Your man gives you a ring, you buy him a watch. It’s a fine line between gifts for the sake of doing something nice and gifts because you feel like you owe them something — but I really wanted to give my crew a little token of appreciation.

    A simple search of “bridesmaid gifts” will give you a good list to start with. Many of the gifts pertain to getting ready for the wedding ceremony like matching robes to wear that morning, or bedazzled “bridesmaid” tank tops. Jewelry that matches their dress to wear in the wedding is also a popular gift. Personalized items are also very popular, particularly tumblers and wine glasses. Some of these things can get pretty pricey, especially with personalization, and it adds up when you have to buy multiples of everything.

    I really wanted to find something they would use again, that was for them and not just for my wedding. I’m a sucker for a theme! Being a makeup artist, I decide to go with what I know and put together a little gift package with some of my favorite beauty items. I bought canvas makeup pouches from Amazon, and personalized each one with their name using a fabric marker. I also got sheet masks and foot treatments, also courtesy of Amazon. I picked up little manicure kits, lip glosses and nail polishes for each of them.  To round it out, I ordered these pretty personalized compact mirrors with their initials from Etsy.

    compact mirror

    Available from AllAboutYouCreations on Etsy

    All together, each gift with cost about $40, and they will all have something that is personal and also useful!

  • 6/9

    owning your wedding

    The thing with planning a wedding that gets to a lot of couples is that it feels like there are so. many. decisions. that, in the grand scheme of things, seem pretty inconsequential, but when it comes to the event that is your wedding actually make a big difference. It really is OK to waver back and forth between linen colors and wonder if you should…

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    Etsy Hellosugarmint Beatles Custom Printable Quote

    Printable Beatles Quote available from Etsy seller hellosugarmint Previously, I posted about scoring a great deal (AKA free) on a venue for our wedding. One of my closest friends had offered to let us use her property for our wedding day celebration. Turns out that as the housing market begins to rebound in this area, she is going to start the process of getting her…

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    One thing you may or may not know about me from my writing is that I do my very best to have a positive attitude in all parts of my life. It's something I adopted at a time in my life when I was particularly miserable in a former job and it surprisingly has been making my life happier ever since. This is far from…

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  • 5/20

    Etsy TheAngelPaperie These are My People Quote on Canvas

    Quote on Canvas available from Etsy seller TheAngelPaperie I recently re-shared a post I wrote last year about fear-mongering, shaming and budget weddings because I've been noticing a trend that concerns me -- not necessarily among our readers, but more among wedding businesses. Recently on BAB's Facebook page, one of our advertisers was harassed and bullied due to the nature of her business. See, she…

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    Beau-Coup Celebration Balloons

    Celebration Balloons from Beau-Coup As my fiancé and I are in the home-stretch to the big day (17 days to go, June 4!), I've been reflecting on the ups and downs we've had in the last year planning our wedding, and there's a big, obvious headache that sticks out. What I'm about to state may be controversial, but here goes: you do not have to have a…

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    Photo by Shaina Sheaff

    So, uh, this is weird, even if it is really wonderful. It may not be weird for you if, say, your parents divorced in your childhood as many people's did, but after 36 years and a whole lot of hell, my parents called it quits. That's not the weird part. In fact, I'm about as happy about the situation as an adult kid can be. I…

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  • 5/9

    Real Wedding: Diana and Tom's Handmade, Personal New York Celebration

    Photo: Carole Cohen Before I got engaged, I always said I wouldn't let my wedding take over my  life. I watched so many friends become consumed by their wedding planning process. Every time we hung out would become about some wedding-related activity, whether it be dress shopping or a trip to Michael's. Our dinner conversations would revolve around their latest updates. I vowed this would not…

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