Broke-Ass Tag: wedding ideas

5/15

To do notepad available from Etsy seller marrygrams

Here’s the thing: I’ve been gifted with a degree of creativity and innovation, however, I’m really, really bad at delegating.

With a project as colossal as a wedding, this is not a good thing. I’m pretty sure if I try to micromanage every little thing, I’ll be so busy that I wont have time to enjoy one the the most important days of my life. Not to mention I have finite time, energy and brainpower, and I’m a pretty miserable person to be around when any of those resources have been depleted.

Knowing this, and in the interest of, you know, equality, my partner and I divvied up some of the responsibilities. So far he has been put in charge of catering, rentals and rehearsal dinner planning. However, he brought it to my attention that I have the tendency to meddle outside my own realm of responsibilities. Little friendly questions about “have you emailed this person yet?” “Did you look into that thing yet?” I’m not so good at trusting that he can handle it, even though he has proven time and time again throughout our relationship to be very capable and responsible.

I am also extremely blessed to have many wonderful people who have asked repeatedly, “How can I help?” My answer is always, “Oh you’re so kind. There’s nothing right now, but I’ll let you know when something comes up.”

In truth, I have been actively avoiding thinking about what things I will need help with, because I don’t want to give up control over anything.

Why am I so afraid to give up control?

I’m sure that part of it is the importance surrounding the day. Our wedding is a big life event. People will remember things. We will look at the pictures 10, 20, 30 years down the road. There’s been a ton of money and time spent on it.

Of course I want it to go well.

Or, perhaps, because I have been so fierce about not wanting to make my wedding about other people’s expectations, I feel a bit guilty asking them to help if they haven’t had any input. Or, I’m afraid they might overstep.

Maybe its all of these.

Or, maybe it’s because I realized that if something were to go wrong, I wouldn’t attribute to a failure on our part, I would attribute it to failure on my part, and I think that’s the rub. 

Wedding planning is still considered by many as to be the bride’s job.

I’ve been working hard on trying to not internalize that expectation, but it happens, the same way that when I invite guests over and the house is messy, I often find myself fearing that they automatically are judging me for the state of the place, not my partner. Therefore, when I catch myself spiraling because I’m afraid that Ev is going to forget to tell the caterer we need dessert spoons, I catch myself imagining a scenario in which the oversight is discovered, and imagine that all guests turn their eyes to me.

Judgement. Gasps. Pearls clutched.

The elaborate facade of me as a capable adult, as a capable wife, crumbles before everyone’s eyes.

Obviously I know this is incredibly silly and dramatic, but I’m trying to make a point — even when we’ve made a conscious effort to reject theses views, their shadows can hold on for a long time after we’ve tried to let them go.

I’ll start by letting someone help me fold some table cards. Even, even if they end up slightly crooked. If there’s someone in attendance at my wedding who judges me for that, well, they probably at the wrong damn wedding.

How is the division of labor in your planning going? Are you having a hard time letting projects go?

 

  • 5/10

    Pinterest is a wonderful wedding planning tool.

    There are so many options, suggestions and design ideas that quite possibly anyone, even without a “crafting thumb” could follow the instructions and make something wonderful.

    For months, I have collected these ideas on my special secret wedding planning board and I even shared with others that my planning progress was right on track, primarily because I had this board with a million ideas “pinned” and I felt somewhat accomplished.

    Then I had a lightbulb moment and I sat down to read through all of my pins and figured out what ideas would become a reality.

    It was a mess!

    I was all over the place and needed to figure out what DIY projects would fill my to do list. I tried to do this by myself by printing out everything, laying it all out on the floor and checking to see how much it would cost to make my design dreams come true. Again, the process was a mess!

    I needed help.

    I called Leigh Strong a real life Superhero but also known as a designer and stylist. Leigh assured me that she could whip my plan into shape and we scheduled a meeting.

    Leigh Strong, Designer Extraordinaire

    We started talking at 7 a.m., and two hours later I had a solid plan and realized that I would save tons of money by focusing on what I REALLY wanted vs being solely inspired by my Pinterest board.

     

    Planning on a budget? Make sure you think about the following:

    • Pinterest ideas still require time and money. Do your homework before you commit to the DIY project, price out how much the materials will be as well as the investment of your time!
    • It’s amazing how a little instruction/how to lesson can open your eyes to the additional items that you will need to make DIY project come to life! When I made my wedding budget, I  didn’t plan on buying power tools or a Cricut machine.
    • DIY + non-DIY projects, are not always created equal. Take inventory on what you plan to make, buy and/or rent and ensure there is a good design flow. You don’t want some things to look better than others.

    How did you organize all of your creative ideas? What tips do you have? Share in the comments below!

     

     

  • 4/24

    I will fully admit that I used to judge brides who claimed they were "sooooo stressed over wedding planning." Just as I've been forced to admit over the past seven years that I truly know nothing about parenting, I'm now eating my words about wedding planning. I got lucky in the fact that the venue comes with a built-in planner who will help me plan…

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    4/21

     This sponsored post is brought to you by Evite® and Olive Garden as part of the Evite® Influencer Program Wouldn't we all love to jet off and have a romantic destination wedding, especially somewhere as gorgeous as Tuscany? Unfortunately, with Broke-Ass budgets, dreamers can dream ... but, in that same vein, doers can make a dream come to life without even stepping on a plane.…

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    4/17

    Work has calmed down a bit in the last few weeks, so Ev and I have started putting some official wedding prep in motion. I managed to wrangle everyone's address, and after entirely too much obsessing, I picked out an invitation I liked and customized it. We are just waiting on our engagement photos to come back so we can post them up on our…

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  • 3/22

    Buying the ring for that first question -- that all-important question that gets couples started down the road on their next chapter together -- tends to come with a lot of pressure. What style? What size? And especially, how damn much will this cost? It's that last question that can really send any broke-ass couple into a tailspin -- especially when you start hearing things…

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    3/14

    Well, Chris, the girls and I went to our first bridal show, and it was certainly an experience. We're still in the having- a-tentative-date-but-nothing-actually-planned phase, which is not my favorite place to be as a chronic planner. The bridal show was held at a big conference center in a town not too far from us, so we loaded up the girls and headed down. I…

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  • 2/22

    I'm a total sucker for those "just because" gestures -- and not just being on the receiving end of them. My husband is the very most fun person to surprise with little whimsies, whether it's a photo book of our elopement or commissioning awesome family artwork. So when I found out about Lovebook and got the chance to create one just for him, I dove in…

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