Broke-Ass Tag: wedding guests


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RSVP Cards available from Etsy seller PucciPrintables

We are in the home stretch with just a few weeks to go before our big day. There are a lot of last minute details to worry about and loose ends to tie. We’re also trying to wrap up our RSVPs. I find it such a nerve-wracking process. Each time I see a response card in the mail, I’m both excited and filled with apprehension. I turn the card over with one eye open like I’m watching a scary movie and waiting for something to jump out at me.

It’s neurotic, but I can’t help reading into the responses. Did they get the invite and scoff, or are they so disappointed they can’t come? And how come some people don’t reply at all and make you awkwardly chase them down for an answer? There have been a few surprises — people that I had counted on that replied “no.” In those cases, I find it odd that they didn’t reach out and give a heads up and give some sort of justification.

It’s hard not to take it personally, but you know what? It is personal. This is one of the biggest days of your life that you are putting a lot of time, effort and money into. So when one of the select special people in your life that made the cut for an invite declines, it makes sense that it stings a little. And it’s sad that they won’t be there to celebrate. I almost want to reach out and tell them that. One person I (half-jokingly) told “I hope you’re doing something really fun that weekend” — in other words, whatever you’re doing better be good. And of course, it didn’t seem like a good enough reason to me.

So how do you handle RSVPs? Do you reach out to the “no” responders to express your disappointment? Do you move to the B-list? Or do you just breathe a sigh of relief that you have one less meal for pay for and hope that they send a gift?

  • 5/10

    Affiliate Disclaimer NewThis weekend, Matt and I are attending the first wedding we’ll have gone to since we got married. We’re both really excited about it. The couple that’s getting married are both awesome people and together they somehow manage to be even cooler. On top of that, we didn’t have to worry about doing any of the planning or fretting over this wedding like we did our own. We actually get to just show up on the day of, enjoy the festivities, bask in the glow of their love and all that fun stuff. That being said, attending a friend’s wedding after my wedding has a few challenges.

    My first problem is pretty obvious and might be only applicable to me, but I know a lot of ladies find themselves in the same situation shortly after they’re married: Finding just the right outfit for someone else’s wedding. What’s too formal? What’s not formal enough? Do you wear a jacket or sweater? Getting together Spanx, just the right jewelry and shoes and figuring out how the hell to do my makeup.11058526_10100462271665850_9065002663582979310_n

    This is how I showed up to the last wedding I went to before I got married. I should’ve traded the sun hat for a poncho but otherwise I’d like to think my style choices were spot on.

    Being pregnant and having to figure out what to wear to the wedding felt impossible, especially not knowing exactly what size I’d be when the wedding rolled around (just about 20 weeks for anyone keeping score at home). Luckily, there’s an awesome little wedding blog out there that does its very best to have all the answers right there at the fingertips of brides (and now guests) in need. While I didn’t purchase a dress off of that post, it did give me the confidence to know that there are tons of awesome options out there, even if I look like I’m smuggling a basketball into the wedding for an impromptu game of hoops during the cocktail hour. Something to remember when planning to go to a friend’s wedding after your own? All those great resources you utilized might also help you when it comes time to attend another wedding.

    There are obviously other challenges that come with being a pregnant wedding guest besides just what you wear. While I think I’ve had a pretty calm pregnancy thus far, one thing I have learned is you kind of never know how your life is going to change week to week. My food aversions can be crazy at times, so I will be packing some animal crackers in my purse just in case my body decides it no longer enjoys the entree I originally chose. Sitting beside those animal crackers in my bag will be plenty of tissues in case I have a hot mess moment and bawl my eyes out throughout the whole thing. No matter what your role in a wedding is, it’s always good to come prepared.

    Pregnancy isn’t my only challenge though. I’m going to admit one of my deep dark secrets here:
    I was that little kid that went to other kid’s birthday parties and was totally jealous. I’m terrified that I’m going to go to this wedding and spend the entire time comparing it to my wedding. I’m scared that going to this wedding will damage my view of my wedding. I love these friends and want nothing for the best for them. I want their wedding to be amazing and I want them to feel the absolute euphoria that Matt and I did on our wedding day.

    How do you fix something like that? Well for one, there’s reminding myself of what I just said. I love these people and I want them to have the very best. Secondly, I need to remember that comparing weddings is kind of like comparing couples. Comparisons aren’t fair because all relationships are different and there is no better or worse where they’re concerned when it comes to people that are planning to spend their life together. It’s all subjective. Matt and I aren’t any better or worse than this couple. We love each other very deeply, and they do too. That’s what it’s all about right? Matt and I made choices for our wedding that were based upon who we are as people and a couple. Our friends did, too. Their choices will be reflections of who they are just like ours were, and how can you be jealous of something like that? Plus, I’d like to think I’ve grown up a little bit since I watched somebody else unwrap the megazord I was hoping for or sat wishing my parents had hired a magician for my 6th birthday. I can enjoy someone else’s joy without interrupting my own. And hey, if I do find myself feeling down and out, I can always go home and flip through my wedding album and remember all the things that made me feel special on my day.

    Yes. There might be emotional, and even physical challenges that come with attending a wedding after your own is over with. In the end, those challenges pale in the comparison to the excitement that comes with knowing what is in store for the newlyweds. Matt and I had our special day and know how wonderful it feels to both have it and have it be over with (SO MUCH FREE TIME! At least until October … ). We know the joy of wedded bliss and we’re excited to have our friends come over to the married side of life. No matter our circumstances or temprament going into the day, I know it will be wonderful for them, and for us to get to celebrate with them. I’m just looking forward to actually enjoying a wedding, and sipping on a few Shirley Temples.

    11407156_10100468517269610_4684612383602846097_nNo matter what I look like and how crazy my feelings go, I know I’ll find a way to have a good time with this guy as my date.

    Have you attended any weddings as a newlywed? How about while you were engaged? Did it stir up any emotions for you? Share in the comments!

  • 4/26


    So right around the time I was getting married, a photographer’s post about why couples should opt for unplugged weddings went viral. If you’re unfamiliar with the term “unplugged,” it refers to a couple requesting their guests refrain from the use of cellphones and other devices during the wedding. Sometimes they ask them not to use devices during the ceremony and other times they ask them to…

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    If you've been in the wedding planning trenches for a minute now, you've probably seen list after list urging you to set up your hotel block so guests know where to stay -- but what does this even mean? Well, darling, it means you're hollerin' at some hotels to set aside a chunk o' rooms so your homies have a place to rest their tipsy…

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    Warning! This post contains a whole lot of spreadsheet-based nerdery! For so many couples, the hardest part of wedding planning is choosing the guest list. Do you want your event to be small, intimate gathering, or do you want to share with all your friends and family? Is Mom going to make you invite that cousin you forgot you even had? Can you invite your…

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  • 6/13

    Food and money. Man, oh, man. Isn't that the broke-ass life? You always try to have enough of both, but what about when you're trying to throw a big ol' party? That's where the stakes get raised, and some good, timeless advice from erstwhile BAB team member Liz, of Silver Charm Events, swoops in to soothe the nerves. Dear Liz, My fiance and I LOVE a…

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    Christen and Leigh's Hawaii Destination Wedding by Persimmon Images

    Dear Liz, We live in Los Angeles, and I'm planning my wedding in Lake Arrowhead on Labor Day weekend, about three hours away. We're both from New York, so most of our guests are coming from the East Coast. I'm worried about how to keep everyone entertained and make sure they're having fun that weekend. Most of them are arriving on Friday, and the wedding…

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