Broke-Ass Tag: wedding gifts

7/24

Yes, “Ask Liz” is back for the rest of the summer. If you have a burning wedding question, send it to info@brokeassbride.com. The team knows where to find me.

Centerpiece-and-favors-e1415062284872

Photo: Lucky Photographer

Dear Liz:

We had a small ceremony a few weeks ago, and we’re sending out our wedding announcements now. We don’t want anyone to send us gifts, how do we word that on the announcement?

Signed, 

No Swag, Please

Dear Swag,

Okay, so wedding announcements are a little different from wedding invitations. Traditionally, you’re not supposed to mention gifts on your invites at all — it’s rude to tell your guests that you expect them to get you something. This is why you put your gift registration on a separate card, or on another page of your wedding website. Never shove the gimme-grabbing in people’s faces. If you don’t want gifts, you can write something cute like, “No gifts, your presence is present enough” on a card or website, which, to be honest, causes my teeth to ache a little bit. I’m a bigger fan of not putting registration info in either, at all.  If someone asks where you’re registered, you tell them that you don’t want gifts, just guests (wince). Odds are, a few people won’t read or notice the omission, and will end up giving you cards with cash or checks in them. And the only response to that is “Thank you.”

But, since you’re sending wedding announcements, instead? Don’t mention gifts at all, unless someone asks, in which case you tell them, “No, we don’t want/need gifts, but thank you!” Always end with a thank you.

Dear Liz, 

Our wedding is in two weeks and we’re really struggling with how to seat people. The tables fit 10 people and we have 125 guests. Are there any “rules” for who should sit where? 

Signed, 

Table Tied

Dear Tied,

Ooh, most of the time I stay away from seating arrangements, because you know your guests,  and their various relationships with each other, and I … don’t. No one has an easy time doing it, though, if it’s any consolation. Start with who absolutely cannot be at the same table with each other — divorced couples, divorced parents, known mortal enemies, etc. Let’s call them the problem children. Put them at separate tables. Move on to your family and wedding party. Do you want your wedding party all at one table ,or is it okay if they are scattered around? Remember, couples and other family units should sit together. So, by now you have five or six tables of people who should and can spend an evening together, so just fill it in. Go over it at least three times (sorry), if you’re not sure, ask whoever whatever questions you need to in order to make it work , try not to overcompensate for the problem children. You can’t make everyone happy.  Once you’ve got the table seating down, work on where each table should go in relation to all the others. It’s not uncomplicated, but it’s definitely doable.

How’s your guest seating going? Are there more problem children than you thought? Let me know if you any questions or tips of your own in the comments below.

And if you would  like to find out more about me and my part of Wedding World, come over to www.silvercharmevents.com.

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz
Liz
  • 11/26

    Confession: I suck at writing thank you notes. It wasn’t something that was a thing, really, as I was growing up — I suspect my mother wrote them for me. Though, admittedly, this is NO excuse for not extending appreciation for someone else’s graciousness. I’ve recently been trying to change my stubborn ol’ ways (30 does that to you, y’all) and I found that if I have super awesome stationery, it helps because I really want to show that shizz off. However, when you’re writing thank you notes to dozens, if not hundreds of people — as you will in the days preceding and following your wedding — it can easily get overwhelming. So, BAB homegirls Emily and Rachel, who have literally written the book on thank you notes, are here to give us some pointers on how to get started, what to write and how to streamline the process.

    In Unison Thank-You Card from Minted

    In Unison Thank You Stationery from Minted

    Happy Thanksgiving Week everyone! It’s hard to believe the day we set aside for feasting with family and friends and giving thanks for all our blessings will be here in a few days. We know this time of year is extremely busy for everyone, especially brides. To help save you time saying “thanks” for the gifts you have received or will receive, we’re sharing some thank you note ideas today.

    Below are some sample thank you notes adapted from our book, “Something New: The Bride’s Complete Guide to Writing Thank You Notes.” These samples are geared toward popular gifts an engaged or newly married couple might receive during the fall season. The notes may easily be adopted for anyone’s use, though! Let us know if they help you.

    Sample #1:

    Dear Mrs. Oksan,

    Thank you for the pie server you gave Matt and me for our wedding. It is the perfect size for serving pie slices without tearing them. I also love that it is dishwasher safe.

    You were so kind to remember Matt and me with this wonderful gift we will be using frequently over the holidays. We both appreciate your thoughtfulness.

    Fondly,

    Mary

    November 11

    Sample #2:

    Dear Mrs. King,

    Thank you for the casserole dish you and Mr. King gave Jace and me for our wedding. It will be great to have a dish in our everyday china pattern for serving casseroles. I know we will use this often for the monthly potluck dinners we have with our friends.

    Thank you also for coming to our wedding. It was wonderful to have you join in the celebration of our marriage.

    Sincerely,

    Stacy

    November twenty-third

    Sample #3:

    Dear Mrs. Carmichael,

    The handmade quilt you gave Ben and me is lovely! Pink is my favorite color, and the design on the quilt is so intricate. It will be a wonderful heirloom to pass on to our children.

    Thank you and Mr. Carmichael again for such a beautiful and special gift. It truly is one-of-a-kind.

    Most sincerely,

    Dana

    November 31, 2014

    Here are a few other tips to help you write your thank-you notes:

    1) If in doubt as to whether or not you should write a thank-you note, go ahead and write one. People always love receiving personal mail!

    2) If you feel overwhelmed and are not sure how to start writing, just set aside 30 minutes to an hour one day to start writing. If you need to, start with a draft or two. Once you have written a few thank you notes, you will probably find them easier to write. You can then start fitting your writing into smaller time slots, like on your lunch break during the week!

    3) Write thank you notes for the same gifts or similar items at the same time, when possible. Did you receive 8 dinner plates from 8 different people? Write one thank you note and consider copying it for all the other people who gave you dinner plates; just change the names in the notes and slightly change the wording. It is unlikely that people will compare thank you notes, even if they live in the same area. Save yourself some time!

    4) It’s never too late to write a thank you note. We don’t mean that you should purposely wait a long time to write your thank you notes. However, if you have accidentally forgotten to write one or two, or if you have gotten behind on your thank you notes due to life events that often pop up at the most inconvenient times, you should still go ahead and write those thank you notes. People would much rather receive a late thank you note than no thank you note at all.

    5) Organization helps when it comes to writing thank you notes. It’s ideal to gather the supplies you will need before you start writing to minimize any frustration. This includes choosing your stationery, making sure you have a pen that works well and gathering the names and addresses of your contacts.

    6) Be yourself. Genuine is always best. If you are usually a more direct and to-the-point type of person, don’t write a thank you note that is exaggerated and elaborate or vice versa.

    In keeping with the spirit of Thanksgiving, we are offering a discount exclusively to The Broke-Ass Bride readers for purchases made through our website! Our print books and aluminum giftware will be available on our website at 20% off from now through Monday, December 1st. Please enter code THANKS14 during checkout in order to receive the discount. Quantities are limited, so be sure to place your order early if you are interested in something specific.

    Something New: The Bride's Complete Guide to Writing Thank You Notes

    Our eBook price is also reduced this week on Amazon from $7.99 to $2.99.

    If you have any questions about wedding thank you notes, please don’t hesitate to contact us. We hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

    christen
  • 1/23

    So, here you are. Ready to dive deep into the world of wedding planning and frothy dresses and parties and cake tastings and registries! While so many other parts of the whole wedding planning process can be stressful and frustrating and aggravating, the registry is (almost universally) the superfun part. If you are just starting to nest, the registry is where you can delightfully request…

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    3/19

    Let's face it, finding gifts for newlyweds can get kind of ...ho hum. I mean, do they really need another glass vase or sheet set? Snooze. And stuff like that can really bust your already-precarious wedding guest budget. So what do you get 'em? How about something wildly unique, customizable and fun? LIKE A TREE SWING. For serious. Or how about some personalized wall art? Whether…

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    11/30

    Got a question for Liz? Go to the contact page and tell us what's up! Dear Liz, My fiance and I are planning a wedding 2 years out so we have time to save and I can finish with my graduate degree.  However, when we got engaged, I never dreamed of how expensive everything would be.  I have had little to no emotional or financial…

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  • 4/26

    This past weekend, my friends and family treated me to the most awesomest bridal shower ever! It's a little bit hard to surprise a person that lives out of town, so my shower wasn't a surprise, and I'm sooooo glad that it wasn't. I've heard some real horror stories about girls showing up for their showers looking like a hot mess, and I wasn't trying…

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    3/18

    What does this: have in common with these:?They're the first gifts we received off our wedding registry! Its really happening, and I can barely believe it! With my Chicago shower approaching next week, and our invitations going out at the same time, I have a feeling I'm going to look forward to Mr. Postman now more than ever!What made you realize the wedding was just…

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    12/10

    Need to get some holiday shopping done, but want to support indie designers and discover some underground gift ideas? Hie ye to the Unique Los Angeles Event this weekend! Perhaps you'll find some unique wedding accessories there! From their site: UNIQUE LOS ANGELES is an exciting two-day shopping event that showcases independent design talent at great prices. Just in time for the holiday shopping season,…

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