Broke-Ass Tag: short wedding dress

10/5

Affiliate Disclaimer NewLong before Michael officially asked me to marry him, we had discussed our wedding plans in detail. We both wanted to cover the entire cost of the wedding on our own. I knew certain things weren’t as important to me as others. For instance, I didn’t really want a crazy expensive dress or huge ceremony. Neither of those things really defines who we are. If Michael had his way, we would get married in the living room with only a handful of people. Though he balked at my suggestion of trying to keep the wedding under $10,000, he agreed (after I showed him exhaustive spreadsheets of average wedding costs to prove $10k wasn’t outrageous). Once I had a ring on my finger, I started wholesale planning. I wanted to get as many of the big important things out of the way before classes started in the fall.

Now a moment to discuss my mother: My mother and I are incredibly similar. We’re both stubborn, opinionated, and a bit short tempered. We have a tendency to clash on just about everything. Mom and I didn’t really start getting along until I moved out and lived almost two hours away. It’s amazing what distance can do to some relationships. I think I talk to my mother more now than I probably have in my entire life. I feel like we have established a wary cease-fire as far as constant arguments are concerned. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother, but we are the same person. Only one of us can exist within a certain mile radius.

Danielle's parents

My mom and dad

In a few weeks, I was flying down to Tennessee to visit my grandmother and aunt. Auntie was thrilled to hear we were engaged and offered to take me to the bridal shop where she had gotten her wedding dress. Sure, why not. But, I needed to go dress shopping with mom first — it smelled like a battle if I didn’t. So bright one morning I snag my sister, mom, and my neighbor (who is basically my other mother) and head off to a local bridal shop. I was just looking and planning to try out certain styles to see if I could find something similar to what I liked on Etsy or somewhere else cheap. It’s a dress, I will wear it once. There is absolutely no reason to spend more than a few hundred dollars on it. I made sure to be very clear with everyone about this in the car right before we walked in.

We walk into the shop and I’m instantly overwhelmed. There are seriously hundreds of dresses. The only real thing I know about what I want is a short (read: tea length) dress. My ladies start bombarding me with questions about cut, style, color, fabric and I can feel the edges of my vision turning green. I’m legit about to Hulk smash them all and run the heck away. I flip out at all of them and just tell them, again, rather loudly, that I am only looking, I am not planning on finding a dress today, this moment, but I wanted to try on a few styles to get some ideas. My ever helpful mother attempts to have a “calming” conversation with me where she flat out demands that she pay for my dress. She says she has already set aside $2500 for a dress for me. @%&$#!!!. Seriously woman? About as delicate as a hand grenade to the face. I attempt to stand my ground but she throws the tank in low gear and runs me over, leaving me twitching and writhing on the plush white carpet. I don’t want this, like at all. That’s way too much money.

Great, I hadn’t anticipated this whole fiasco. I grab a few dresses at random and go hide in the fitting cavern while I attempt to dress myself. FYI ladies, putting on a wedding dress all by yourself is 800% impossible. I’m essentially on the brink of tears and my sister throws open the door and shoves me into a dress firmly but calmly. Bless her. Wedding dresses are clearly medieval torture devices. I parade around in a few different ones before the sales woman becomes serious in helping me find things, since I’m clearly having a meltdown. They start bringing me dresses and showing me them like they are bottles of wine to sample. I do find one I like well enough to come back and reconsider later. With each new dress my sister talks me down off my cliff and suggests I bow to the inevitable. Mom is feeling left out and this is her … dainty … way of trying to be helpful. Deep breath. I know my sister is right, but sweet maker!

I frantically was texting Michael during bouts of being sewn and clamped into white fluff balls of fabric. What should I do?! Ever practical and calm, he too suggests I give into my mother’s wishes. What the crap, what happened to people being on my side? He reminds me that my parents got married in a courthouse and didn’t get to have a huge wedding like my mother wanted. Would it be so hard to let her pay for one thing? Sigh. Fine. It’s just a dress. If she feels I need to prance around in $2500 of fabric, then it’s her wallet that will be flapping in the breeze, not ours. It also freed up about $700 of our budget to be used on other things. Every penny counts.

dressesPlaying dress up, level: Bridal

I didn’t end up buying a dress at this first place since I didn’t love any of the dresses enough to mortgage my mother’s credit card’s soul. I found one at a different place later on. The whole bit of drama was a serious lesson for me though. Well, perhaps a reminder. You have to pick and choose your battles. If something is really important to you, you should stand your ground and fight for your rights. Ultimately, it is you and your partner’s wedding. Not your mother’s, not your bridesmaids’, not your friends’, YOURS. However, you also need to remember, the people in your life who love you are only trying to help. While their “help” at times can be unwanted or misguided, they are helping you because they genuinely love and care about your happiness. My mother is likely convinced that I may regret not having a fancy expensive dress, or that I am too embarrassed to ask for help. Probably not and nope. But, if spending stupid amounts of money on a dress is how she wants to show her love, so be it. I am not being harmed and she is letting me pick whichever one I want. Besides, it was a tiny bit fun playing dress up.

What about you? Have you encountered any hair pulling, teeth grinding moments while someone “helped” you out?

christen
  • 6/24

    Sponsored Post DisclaimerAs a special treat this month, we’re partnering with David’s Bridal to bring you four special edition Can’t Afford It? Get Over It! posts (catch the first three herehere and here), featuring their very own gorgeous styles. David’s Bridal, a name synonymous with affordable wedding gowns in a huge variety of styles, has been dressing women for all types of special occasions for over 60 years — in fact, 1 in 3 brides end up walking down the aisle in aDavid’s Bridal frock. Hell, I was a David’s Bridal bride for my first wedding! And few things are better than when David’s Bridal busts out a huge heap of summer savings, as they’re doing through June 28. Select clearance wedding dresses, normally in the $300-$600 price range are now $99 while select wedding dresses originally $750-$1650 can be found for $499.99 and all clearance accessories, dresses, shoes and gifts can be snagged for up to a whopping 70% off — with dresses starting $19.99 online and $29.99 in store and shoes, accessories and gifts start at $9.99. All clearance wedding dresses — yes, even designer frocks! — are up to $500 off their original price.

    Can't Afford It

    Short and sweet is the name of the game for our last post in the series (see our previous posts featuring mermaid, ballgown and halter styles), which I’m stoked on because I loooooove short wedding dresses. Our Can’t Afford It? dress is a boatneck, cap-sleeve Oleg Cassini for David’s Bridal exclusive, adorned with beaded lace appliques that will run you about $750. Couldn’t you just imagine twirling the night away in this stunner (complete with some killer shoes)?Oleg Cassini Cap Sleeve Illusion Wedding Dress from David's Bridal

    Oleg Cassini Cap Sleeve Illusion Wedding Dress (CMK513), $750

    Get Over It

    Strapless Tulle and Lace Tea Length Dress at David's Bridal

    Strapless Tulle and Lace Tea-Length Dress (KP3701), $399.99-$449.99

    Truly Zac Posen Lace High Low Tank Wedding Dress at Davids Bridal

    Truly Zac Posen Lace High Low Tank Wedding Dress (ZP341412), normally $1250, sale price $399.99

    Melissa Sweet Short Lace Wedding Dress

    Melissa Sweet Short Lace Wedding Dress (MS251101), normally $900, sale price $499.99

    Oleg Cassini Tea Length Lace Tulle Wedding Dress

    Oleg Cassini Tea Length Lace Tulle Wedding Dress (CWG663), normally $850, sale price $499.99

    Love these styles? Head over to David’s Bridal to take advantage of their Sensational Summer Clearance sale through June 28!

    christen
  • 6/3

    A Real Wedding that Eschews Tradition || Photo: Timony Siobhan

    Longtime Broke-Ass Bride friend Georgia Hardstark emailed us recently about sharing her fun, funky, tradition-eschewing, $16,000 wedding. In the true spirit of The Broke-Ass Bride, Georgia and her husband had the wedding they wanted -- at the venue they loved, in the clothes they adored, with the decorations they actually gave a shit about -- and all within their budget and paid for the wholeshebang…

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    5/26

    Bien Savvy Addicted to Your Lips

    Today's CAI/GOI request comes from Miss Ashley, who is looking for a stunner of a reception dress; an alternative to Bien Savvy's "Addicted to Your Lips" gown. Ashley didn't have much luck finding a knock-off version, so she's asked the mighty BAB gown hunters for some assistance. I have to admit, there are few dresses that look exactly like the Bien Savvy gown under the…

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  • 4/14

    House of Mooshki Sarah

    We love the House of Mooshki's vintage-inspired gowns here on the BAB! (Check out our archives of previous Can't Afford It? Get Over It! posts.) So, I was happy to help reader Jamie for today's CAI/GOI request, a House of Mooshki "Sarah" look-alike. Jamie wrote: "I LOVE the House of Mooshki Sarah dress, if I could have ANY dress that would be it, but can't…

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    4/23

    Screen-Shot-2015-03-23-at-3.39.11-PM

    Man, did I have a challenge for the Can't Afford It? Get Over It! post this week! Alyssa commented on this CAI/GOI post with the following: "Love this feature -- it's given me so many links to check out in my search for the perfect dress! Unfortunately, I've fallen in love with this ModCloth dress which is sadly discontinued. I love the lace and the halter top neckline.…

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    2/12

    Original

    Hey der, BABs! I'm super excited to help Clare get over this retro, tea length gown. I think tea length gowns are MY favorite, too. I think it's so feminine and vintage annnnd your shoes are probably fabulous on your wedding day so everyone needs to see them. Also, it's easier to get around without a long train. Hello, dance floor! Not that trains aren't…

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  • 11/4

    Guys, I've been absolutely dying to get the whole damn story on Kate and Daniel's insane, beautiful, literary, uncertain wedding ... and it's finally here! Her amazing red dress, the f*ck it all attitude about how things "should" be, the anxiety of the whole visa and immigration process ... it's been a helluva journey, but now Kate and Daniel are married. And it was the…

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