Broke-Ass Tag: Shannon

2/17

Finding the love of your life and taking that next big step towards forever is a blissful time of your life, but what happens when someone you love has life experiences that are giving them a broken heart?

caring for friends

Whether it’s the ending of a relationship, loss of a loved one, money, job or health troubles, certain struggles can zap the celebration spirit right out of a person, even if they love you dearly and share your joy. It’s ok to feel disappointment and to go on with your excitement, but taking the time to specially care for your loved one in their time of need can make the situation better for everyone involved.

Remember their pain is not your fault.

You didn’t cause the pain your friend is feeling, and even though it can feel unfair to go one with your happiness while someone you love is hurting, it’s really not. They almost certainly don’t feel it is, either. Being sensitive to their needs can help dissolve any potential bitterness and may even give you a needed break from all of the weddingland craziness.

Let them set the pace.

Everyone reacts to tragedy differently, so don’t be shy about asking how involved they want to be and make sure they know they can change their minds. Assuming someone doesn’t want to be involved in fun trips like outfit shopping (or, in my case, anything followed by the word “tasting“) can hurt more than it helps. Extend the invitation, but be gracious if the answer is no.

Set aside time just for them.

This is just a good practice in general, but loved ones going through a rough patch or all-out heartbreak really deserve the extra attention. Help out by taking care of a need — whether a daunting chore or a fun night out — and focus your energy on them, rather than wedding plans.

Show up for the big things.

The mean curveballs life can throw often come with life-altering events that are an excellent opportunity to show your support: medical treatments, funerals, an unexpected move … stopping your day to be there may sound like a given, but it goes a long way to someone in need of that support.

Honor their requests for discretion.

When you’re going through a time of personal trouble, one of the hardest things can be to keep positive while well-meaning outsiders ask questions. If your brother is going through a divorce or your best friend lost her job, they may not want to share the details with the people they meet through parties and get-togethers that sometimes accompany an engagement. Unless they ask you to pass on their regrets to others, keep the bad news within their circle and allow them to put on a happy face if that’s what works best for them.

Be mindful of money troubles and help where you can.

This is especially true for people in the wedding party. It’s no secret that being a part of the wedding can rack up some serious dollar signs, so whether their expendable cash is simply lacking or their money troubles are rooted in outside trouble, look for ways to keep costs down. Besides, choosing budget friendly options for wedding attire and party destinations never hurts!

Be prepared to let them off the hook.

It’s never easy to back out of a commitment, so if it gets to that point, understand they’re likely as disappointed as you are. Give them time to heal and look for other fun ways to bond and celebrate the special relationship you have. Being flexible lets them know how important they are to you and spending time together is a good reminder for you that even though times might be difficult for them, they still care about you and your happiness.

Have you run into a sticky situation while planning your wedding? Need some advice on how to handle it? Let us know in the comments below!

  • 11/11

    calligraphy envelope and Epson LabelWorks printed ribbonWhether you’re hand-writing on the envelope or using a convenient print-out label, addressing your wedding invites comes with a few *rules* that etiquette specialists still advise you follow. We don’t want you to be left searching, so here’s what you need to know before sending out that stationery.

    Before you get started, make sure to check and double-check that spelling! Your partner’s cousin Ashleigh is probably used to it, but she won’t be thrilled to be addressed as Ashley. If you’re going at it by hand, scrub ’em down before you get to writing. That smudge of dirt will transfer right onto that pristine white paper! Even pressing labels can leave little streaks if your paws aren’t squeaky clean.

    Let’s start with the easy ones. Formal invitations usually include a title and a full name. Married couples are addressed together as in, “Mr. and Mrs. Homer Simpson.” If the kids are invited as well, a simple “and family” on the end will do. Leaving off “and family” might not be enough to signal that this is an adults-only affair, so it’s wise to further clarify, whether politely stated on an enclosure card or by word of mouth. If the envelope is to be addressed to a single person, include the title and full name — “Miss Marjorie Bouvier.”

    If the wife doesn’t go by her husband’s name, simply list both names on the same line:

    Mr. Homer Simpson and Mrs. Marjorie Bouvier

    Same-sex couples should also be addressed on the same line and alphabetized by first name if they share a last name or last name if they don’t.

    “Mr. and Mr. Brad and George Takei” or “Mrs. Ellen DeGeneres and Mrs. Portia de Rossi”

    If a couple lives together but isn’t married, simply split the names into two lines. You can also use this for roommates if you don’t want to use separate envelopes. List the man first or use the alphabetizing by last name if they are the same sex.

    If one member of a couple has a title like Doctor, Judge or Reverend, list the titled name first (yep, even if it puts the lady first!) like, “Dr. Martin King and Mrs. Coretta King.” If both members of the couple share the title, list it as plural, followed by full names. The same general rules of “which name first?” apply here, too.

    “Drs. Derek and Meredith Sheppard,” “Drs. Arizona Robbins and Callie Torres,” etc.

    If you use inner envelopes, this is your opportunity to spell out who is specifically invited by listing children’s names or including “and guest” if you’re inviting plus ones. This time just use a simple title and name, followed by the first names of children if applicable.

    Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, Bart, Lisa and Maggie

    Once you’re finished addressing, make sure you have the correct postage. The size, shape and weight of your stuffed envelope might require more than a basic stamp. Now you’re ready to send those babies out and get ready to party!

  • 10/28

    dinosaur centerpieces

    Weddings -- planning them, paying for them, putting them on -- are kind of an ordeal. Even the simplest of soirees can have a lot of moving parts and when those parts get to rolling, the unsolicited advice starts coming in. Seriously: death, taxes, unsolicited wedding advice. Plenty of people out there have already explained that it's important not to take these opinions (or thinly veiled…

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    9/20

    DSC_0795

    It's kind of a no-brainer when it comes to saving money -- full open bars are a huge money sink. Not only are they expensive, but if you're DIYing the B-A-R, you have the impossible task of reading people's mind to figure out just how much gin, tequila and bourbon you need to have ready to serve up. In general, the fewer choices you have,…

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    8/23

    agate geode DIY display

    If you're anything like me, you've been mad crushing on all the gorgeous agate and geode details popping up in wedding and home decor lately. With a little investigation, you probably found that lots of these pieces aim to break your budget super-fast, so that's why I'm hear to share the fruit of my trial-and-error labors. A word of warning: this project calls for Mod…

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  • 7/26

    DSC_0984

    Ah, the craft store ... for the DIY couple, it can start to feel like a second home. There are paints and paper, ribbons and trim and if you really start looking, you may start to realize that a lot of this stuff is really expensive. When it comes down to it, craft stores and the supplies therein are usually marketed towards women. If you're…

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    7/7

    dinosaur centerpieces

    Continuing to work with couples long after my I Dos have been said, it's easy to get this feeling of, "Ah, damn! I wish I had done something like that!" From impossibly cute to just downright creative, I'm constantly amazed by how inventive and fun the couples I get to work with through Little Wedding Extras can be. Now that we've put away three weddings…

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    6/23

    alternative guest book

    “Is that too weird?” Every time I hear the question I just want to reach over, squeeze the person’s hand and smile. In a word, nope. Listen closely here, friends: Weddings are all about celebrating who you are as a couple and we all have little things about our relationship that are weird. Some couples hurl insults at each other that just turn out to…

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  • 5/26

    DIY or DIE 3D Geometric Paper Garland

    I cooked this fun little geometric garland project up for Little Wedding Extras, but this has all the makings of a great DIY or DIE project: A.) It's super easy. You trace, cut, fold and glue or tape. Painting is totally optional. B.) It doesn't have to be wedding-specific. I love a project that can be recycled for home use later. (Christen is using this for #babything's…

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