Broke-Ass Tag: marriage

11/11

When I read this piece on The Huffington Post, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Because I totally get feeling like I deserve more and feeling resentful when it isn’t doled out. And guys, let me tell you, it’s those feelings that will dance with –if not spell uncertain — doom. But a shift in thinking can help considerably, as this article points out.

On Marriage My Wife Doesn't Give Me the Love I Deserve

My wife doesn’t give me the the love I deserve.

About a year and a half into our marriage, I was struggling with an intense feeling of bitterness. Marriage wasn’t what I had anticipated. It wasn’t anything like the pretty photographs and romantic movies I had seen — it was hard work.

I felt resentful, robbed of romance. This resentment fueled my depression, and in my bitterness I foolishly blamed her.

My wife doesn’t give me the love I deserve!” I thought to myself.

Within a few short months, my bitterness had had grown to such an intensity, that it poisoned our relationship and threatened to destroy our marriage. Then, after the pressure had built up to where neither of us could stand it, emotions erupted. I was callous and resentful.

But instead of reciprocating my bitterness, she showed me an outpouring of love. Even though I had caused her tremendous pain, she laid her hands on my face and told me that she loved me.

I looked at her, unable to understand the love I was receiving. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. My heart melted, and I hung my head down low.

My wife doesn’t give me the love I deserve,” I thought to myself.

It was the same phrase I had thought to myself before, but this time it meant something completely different.

To continue reading My Wife Doesn’t Give Me the Love I Deserve on The Huffington post, click here.

christen
  • 9/17

    A lot of times during these On Marriage posts, we delve into deep, sometimes emotionally exhausting subjects. Ones that pull out all the feels. So, occasionally, I like to find the odd lighthearted listicle to get back to the shinier side of things. This post, written by Lexi Herrick and found on Huffington Post, does just that. Because sometimes, it is about the little things.

    Rachel and Joel

    Via

    Every day, I read articles trying to dissect and diagnose love and relationships. I can’t help but think that maybe love really isn’t definable at all. Maybe being in love with someone is just a string of moments that feels different than the rest of life. These moments give us pure happiness and awaken our souls. They make us feel alive. Here are 25 of those moments.

    1. When you do something very normal or silly that you always do and receive a look of such genuine admiration that it melts you. It’s the “of course you brought donuts for your co-worker’s birthday,” or “of course you forgot to put the toothpaste cap on again” look that reminds you that you are loved for who you really are.

    2. When you take a short moment to watch the person you love walk away, get into a car, or pick something up, and you stop to admire the way their body moves. It’s that moment when you realize you’re basically checking them out from a distance. You then feel a tinge of excitement when you remember that this is the person you’re in love with.

    3. When you’ve had literally the worst day on the planet. You come home feeling defeated and alone only to be reminded with a forehead kiss or comfort pizza already ordered that you’re never alone even on your worst days.

    4. When you’re having a disagreement and then all of a sudden you end up laughing in spite of yourselves.

    5. When you’re at a dinner or celebration of some kind with each other’s families and it just feels like home. When family love crosses divides and you find that you have a new member of your family and are a new member of another. Loving moments just seem to multiply.

    6. When you spend a few Friday nights staying in with trivia games, Netflix and pizza. You feel an insane comfort knowing that with one person, you can create any amount of fun that you may have needed so much more for in the past.

    7. When you accomplish something amazing or even just have a marvelously funny story brewing in your mind and your heart swells up with excitement to tell them.

    8. When life hands you adversity. Whether these struggles be within your relationship or family, or only in your own life, some of the most rewarding moments of love come when you feel like the world is caving in. Because you know that there will always be someone to protect you. You know in your heart that they will never leave you abandoned and afraid.

    9. When you are completely exposed to someone, and yet you feel nothing but safety and love. This can mean anything, from moments of intimacy to being emotionally exposed and vulnerable. You know you are showing all that you are and are loved for it.

    10. When little things like catching their scent from a t-shirt make your chest tighten and warm.

    11. When you are faced with life decisions and you have a partner and best friend to support and guide you.

    12. When you get really wrapped up in meaningful conversation and you note how incredible their ideas are. Being able to learn from the person you love can create some amazing moments.

    13. When you’re on the same wavelength and your thoughts seem to flow seamlessly into their mind.

    14. When you’re totally not on the same wavelength and end up laughing.

     To continue reading 25 Moments that Make Being In Love So Incredible, click here.

    christen

  • 8/11

    A funny thing tends to happen, even if just momentarily (you know, before you snap back into real life) once that big ol' sparkler lands on your finger: The party becomes the goal and we forget about what it all really means. I did. So when I read this piece on The Huffington Post and found myself nodding along in agreement, I knew that it might…

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    7/29

    As an often-times (admittedly) snarky person, I'm not immune to flippantly "predicting" the outcome of others' affairs. I know it's not a good thing and it can breed negativity, but I also mind the company I keep when doing so, and I know with all certainty I'm not alone in my passive judgements. But what's more telling than an outsider's view on a couple's status…

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    6/24

    **This post is brought to you by our friends at ElementAssociates.com, but all thoughts and opinions are my own. By Slightly-Less-Random via Flickr Creative Commons. Guys, this isn't the most romantic of wedding topics, but it's real. And it's important. I mean, as I type this, Dana herself is headed into yet another surgery on her eyes. Health care and the necessity of insurance is a…

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  • 5/27

    Y'all, speaking from experience, marriage is tough. And there are times when it doesn't work, maybe because it wasn't "meant to be" (I don't really know what this means, other than fate/destiny/a flying spaghetti monster may have had some sneaky upper hand in my decisions as a lonely, confused mid-twenties female) or maybe because of our own action -- or lack thereof -- leading up to…

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    4/21

    Often times, when we're in the throes of wedding planning, we forget what's on the other side of the tulle, peonies, Champagne and sparklez. We forget that there have been fights, anxiety, uncertainty ... and there will be more of those. Because marriage takes sweat, fortitude, compassion and sometimes fear. As this post from Momastery points out, sometimes we lose the butterflies, and it takes work to…

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    4/15

    This article popped up on The Huffington Post, and as I tend to do with all things wedding- or marriage-related on a site I frequent, I opened it and read it. And my heart fluttered a bit. There does often seem to be this abounding sense of pessimism surrounding weddings and marriages, especially in this era of the divorce rate setting up camp at around…

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  • 4/7

    This article on BlogHer by TheFlyCoach shines the light on the imperfections of marriage ... because it isn't always Champagne and cupcakes. Sometimes it's work -- hard work -- and you have to put up a fight. And then, one day, you may wake up and realize decades have passed and ask yourself "Now what?" Via I feel like I fell asleep for 30 years and just…

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