Broke-Ass Tag: guest list


diy real wedding

Credit: Juniper Photography

I’m sure many people have ideas about how they want their weddings to be even before they start planning them. Maybe they know for sure they want to get married on the beach, or they’ve always known they would wear a family heirloom that has been passed down for generations. I had ideas like that too — my matrimonial must-haves, if you will. One was that I wanted to get married outdoors. I knew that I wanted to look really, really hot in my dress (I know! SO WEIRD, right?). I also knew that I wanted a smaller wedding, with just close family and friends.

I have attended smaller weddings in the past and appreciated how much more time I got to spend with the bride and groom. I had also been to larger weddings where the extent of the interaction that I had with the happy couple was a quick “Hey! Congratulations!” before they got swept back up in all of it. For me, I really want to be able to have enough time to see everyone, and do all the fun wedding things, if thats possible.

For some couples, this may not be doable — they may have a very close, large extended family. However, for us, it wasn’t an issue. The degrees of removal from our extended family had natural borders: We invited aunts and uncles and cousins, but nobody necessarily expected inviting second cousins. When we chose our venue, we chose one with a maximum capacity of 75. We had run the numbers prior, and knew with that limit we could just accommodate all of our close family and close friends, and we would save a lot of money having a smaller guest list.

However, our engagement coincided with a move to a new city, and in the last year we’ve begun to make some new friends. We are now realizing it would be really nice to include these people in our celebration, but 75 is beginning to feel a little snug. We’ve already sent save-the-dates back in September, and there’s nobody we want to take off the list. We don’t want to risk inviting more people than we can actually hold, in case everyone actually RSVPs “yes.”

Our safest bet will probably, unfortunately, involve having a conversation with our new friends that we made the list before we got to know them well. It will be a bummer, but it won’t be the end of the world, surely they will understand. We will plan a fun night out with them in lieu. 

Take note, BABs. Give yourself extra wiggle room with your g-list. The time between booking the venue and when the invites go out might be a long time, and in that time, new people may come into your life! 

  • 9/12

    Affiliate Disclaimer Newetsy pucciprintables rsvp card

    RSVP Cards available from Etsy seller PucciPrintables

    We are in the home stretch with just a few weeks to go before our big day. There are a lot of last minute details to worry about and loose ends to tie. We’re also trying to wrap up our RSVPs. I find it such a nerve-wracking process. Each time I see a response card in the mail, I’m both excited and filled with apprehension. I turn the card over with one eye open like I’m watching a scary movie and waiting for something to jump out at me.

    It’s neurotic, but I can’t help reading into the responses. Did they get the invite and scoff, or are they so disappointed they can’t come? And how come some people don’t reply at all and make you awkwardly chase them down for an answer? There have been a few surprises — people that I had counted on that replied “no.” In those cases, I find it odd that they didn’t reach out and give a heads up and give some sort of justification.

    It’s hard not to take it personally, but you know what? It is personal. This is one of the biggest days of your life that you are putting a lot of time, effort and money into. So when one of the select special people in your life that made the cut for an invite declines, it makes sense that it stings a little. And it’s sad that they won’t be there to celebrate. I almost want to reach out and tell them that. One person I (half-jokingly) told “I hope you’re doing something really fun that weekend” — in other words, whatever you’re doing better be good. And of course, it didn’t seem like a good enough reason to me.

    So how do you handle RSVPs? Do you reach out to the “no” responders to express your disappointment? Do you move to the B-list? Or do you just breathe a sigh of relief that you have one less meal for pay for and hope that they send a gift?

  • 5/27

    Just Married Wedding Announcement by BlissPaperBoutique

    Just Married Wedding Announcement, $6.50 by Etsy seller BlissPaperBoutique Hey BABs! Wedding etiquette can sometimes feel overly formal and antiquated, but we're here to help you navigate the ins and outs. This week's advice request is about sending wedding announcements: My fiance and I are planning a wedding in April of 2017. All of his family is in town and most likely all will attend, but…

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    World's Best Boss Mug

    World's Best Coffee Mug, $13.75 by Etsy seller MagicCityDesigns Hiya BABs! Today's advice question comes from a reader who wants to know about the etiquette of inviting coworkers to her wedding. (Hence, the mugs. Because coffee. And Dunder Mifflin. #pamandjimforever)  Hello and happy holidays!! I am writing to request etiquette guidance: I had a very strong relationship with my former coworkers, which has not carried over to…

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  • 9/21


    Warning! This post contains a whole lot of spreadsheet-based nerdery! For so many couples, the hardest part of wedding planning is choosing the guest list. Do you want your event to be small, intimate gathering, or do you want to share with all your friends and family? Is Mom going to make you invite that cousin you forgot you even had? Can you invite your…

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    As I mentioned, I'm trying to keep my wedding small as one way to save money. I want my guest list to be more "want tos" than "have tos."  There are inevitably a few in the "have to" category, mostly extended family. Another perk of having a wedding at a bit of a distance is that it weeds out those that care from those that…

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    Credit: Alicia Robichaud The Guest List -- how big it is, who's on it -- is probably one the most important and difficult parts of the planning process.  My primary saving strategy has been to keep my wedding small.  When there is a per person cost, it seemed like the best way to keep costs down.  Mostly, though, I prefer quality to quantity. I'd rather spend time with a…

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  • 11/7

    In light of all the guest list talk around BAB this week, Liz's post about RSVP conversations that should and really, let's face it, NEED, to happen is very appropriate. Yes, this one deals with kids, much like Mellzah's post, but it's kind of a good jumping off point for all those other tough conversations -- whether it be a kid, a fairly new significant…

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