Broke-Ass Tag: groomsmen


I want to talk about our wedding party.

There seem to be a lot of traditions and rules in North American/European anglophone culture surrounding bridesmaids and groomsmen that there is heavy pressure to follow. I imagine that if you have been reading my posts thus far, you probably know how I feel about arbitrary rules, especially if they are outdated, rooted in sexism or classism and/or expensive.

SpongeBob Doesn't GAF

(Coincidentally, its also how I feel about using outdated memes.)

Here are some of the rules that I have observed (Although, I know that some of them are undergoing shifts, and there are many regional and cultural variations):

  • The bride must have a maid of honor and the groom must have a best man.
  • There must be an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.
  • Brides have bridesmaids, grooms have groomsmen.

So, unsurprisingly, I am rejecting some of these rules.

First of all neither of us have a clearly delineated “best friend” who we feel comfortable elevating over the others, and we both have multiple siblings. For some people, there’s an easy answer for who will be the best man and maid of honor. For us, there isn’t — so we aren’t going to have them.

Second, Ev and I have friends of all genders, so we have a couple of bridesmen, and groomswomen.

Given that we’ve known each other for 11 years, and have been dating for five, There are a few people who are as much my friend as his, and could as easily be on my “side” as his. He also makes friends more easily than I do, and has moved all over the country, so he’s asked seven people (five men, two of which are the potential overlappers, and two women) while I’ve asked four women. Whether separated by gender or by side, there’s not going to be symmetry. In lieu of either cutting people out, or asking more people, I just threw up my hands and said, “screw it.” The photos of us all together will be lopsided. We will deal.

Therefore, we’ve established that it’s more of a collective “wedding party” than two separate ones.

I know that this will create a few questions in terms of how that’s going to look in terms of bachelor/bachelorette parties, getting ready the morning of and so on, but I’m sure we will figure it out along the way, and handle it.

To be continued …

  • 2/24

    Affiliate Disclaimer NewHarwick J Crew Bag
    Harwick Duffel Bag, $98 from J. Crew

    Let’s talk about baggage (no, not THAT kind of baggage).

    Planning a honeymoon in Hawaii? A getaway wedding in New Hampshire? No matter what the occasion is, when it comes to prepping for a trip, quality luggage should always be the first thing you consider. Shoddy luggage will wear quickly with all the throwing around and your stuff won’t be as protected. Wouldn’t you be so wrecked if your favorite college-T had succumbed to a catastrophic cologne spill? To avoid these types of mishaps, it’s best to have a case with pockets and compartments to help keep you organized — and a dopp kit to keep toiletries from being exposed.

    Below are some travel bag options I’ve found, ranging from suitcases and carry-ons, all the way down to shoe bags (keep those shoes clean, fellas!). I also threw in a garment bag for those that are shopping for a destination wedding.

    Samsonite Luggage
    Samsonite Geotraker Spinner 21, $192 from Amazon

    Herschel XL Luggage
    Herschel XL Wheeled Packing Case, $200 from Nordstrom

    J Crew Backpack
    Harwick Rucksack Backpack, $98 from J. Crew

    Utility Canvas Duffel
    Utility Canvas A-Frame Duffel, $168 from Upstate MN

    Everlane Backpack
    Modern Zip Backpack, $58 from Everlane

    Denim Dopp Kit
    Denim Dopp Kit, $30 from Etsy seller GiantPhantom

    Plaid Dopp Kit
    Vintage Plaid Dopp Kit, $25 via Etsy seller LittleCollective

    Old Navy Dopp Kit
    Old Navy Dopp Kit, $13

    Mens Wearhouse Garment Bag
    Men’s Wearhouse Garment Bag, $30

    Travel Shoe Bags
    Travel Shoe Bags, $25 for 4 pairs from Amazon

    That just about wraps it up! Any jetsetters out there have some other brands they recommend? Share with us in the comments or on our Instagram. Bon voyage!

  • 2/10

    Etsy TamarasTreasureTrove Hair Cut and Shave Sign

    Vintage Sign available from Etsy seller TamarasTreasureTrove Shaving. It can be kind of a pain in the ass, but we have to do it. Even if you have a beard, there’s some maintenance that needs to be done. For your wedding day, I’d 100% recommend you have a professional barber clean you up, but not all of us have that kind of time or cash.…

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    Personalized Pocket Square

    Personalized Beer Cooler, $30 from Etsy seller HeritageWedding Gifting is hard. Gifting on a budget is really hard. Especially when it's for your favorite dudes. You want to get your groomsmen something awesome, yet thoughtful — but holy crap everything always seems so expensive. While it would be nice to be able to get them all big screen TVs or spring for a dudes' trip…

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    Photo: Sharyn Frenkel Photography Wedding parties. They can be a real pain in the ass. Who do you choose? Is your sibling the automatic choice for maid of honor or best man? Do you have to include someone just because you were a member of their wedding party? What if said wedding was like a decade ago ... is there a time limit? My answers are whomever…

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  • 11/6

    Etsy Coldfeet Socks Groom : Best Man Socks

    Image: Whitney Huynh Alright grooms, step aside — this one’s for the Best Man. The day of the wedding is a big day for your bestie, so make sure something small doesn’t fuck it all up. He’ll thank you for life if you take all the right measures and plan it out properly. Trust me, I’ve been in a lot of weddings and you’d be amazed…

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    Hello again, BABs! While we very (im)patiently wait for our wedding album to appear, I thought I would share with you one of my favorite wedding related things: PRESENTS! No, not for us. But for our amazingly awesome wedding party members. I love, love giving gifts and finding amazing deals! If you've been following my posts for a while, you know that I don't like things…

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    With Father's Day this weekend -- and for those nearlyweds, nuptials on the horizon -- it's about time we turn our attention to the male set for  a hot second, because they need love too. I've always enjoyed how cool and different cufflinks are -- like awesome statement jewelry for dudes. And just as representative of individual personalities as that schamazing cocktail ring or pendant necklace. So for this…

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