Broke-Ass Tag: etiquette

7/24

Yes, “Ask Liz” is back for the rest of the summer. If you have a burning wedding question, send it to info@brokeassbride.com. The team knows where to find me.

Centerpiece-and-favors-e1415062284872

Photo: Lucky Photographer

Dear Liz:

We had a small ceremony a few weeks ago, and we’re sending out our wedding announcements now. We don’t want anyone to send us gifts, how do we word that on the announcement?

Signed, 

No Swag, Please

Dear Swag,

Okay, so wedding announcements are a little different from wedding invitations. Traditionally, you’re not supposed to mention gifts on your invites at all — it’s rude to tell your guests that you expect them to get you something. This is why you put your gift registration on a separate card, or on another page of your wedding website. Never shove the gimme-grabbing in people’s faces. If you don’t want gifts, you can write something cute like, “No gifts, your presence is present enough” on a card or website, which, to be honest, causes my teeth to ache a little bit. I’m a bigger fan of not putting registration info in either, at all.  If someone asks where you’re registered, you tell them that you don’t want gifts, just guests (wince). Odds are, a few people won’t read or notice the omission, and will end up giving you cards with cash or checks in them. And the only response to that is “Thank you.”

But, since you’re sending wedding announcements, instead? Don’t mention gifts at all, unless someone asks, in which case you tell them, “No, we don’t want/need gifts, but thank you!” Always end with a thank you.

Dear Liz, 

Our wedding is in two weeks and we’re really struggling with how to seat people. The tables fit 10 people and we have 125 guests. Are there any “rules” for who should sit where? 

Signed, 

Table Tied

Dear Tied,

Ooh, most of the time I stay away from seating arrangements, because you know your guests,  and their various relationships with each other, and I … don’t. No one has an easy time doing it, though, if it’s any consolation. Start with who absolutely cannot be at the same table with each other — divorced couples, divorced parents, known mortal enemies, etc. Let’s call them the problem children. Put them at separate tables. Move on to your family and wedding party. Do you want your wedding party all at one table ,or is it okay if they are scattered around? Remember, couples and other family units should sit together. So, by now you have five or six tables of people who should and can spend an evening together, so just fill it in. Go over it at least three times (sorry), if you’re not sure, ask whoever whatever questions you need to in order to make it work , try not to overcompensate for the problem children. You can’t make everyone happy.  Once you’ve got the table seating down, work on where each table should go in relation to all the others. It’s not uncomplicated, but it’s definitely doable.

How’s your guest seating going? Are there more problem children than you thought? Let me know if you any questions or tips of your own in the comments below.

And if you would  like to find out more about me and my part of Wedding World, come over to www.silvercharmevents.com.

See you at the end of the aisle,

Liz
Liz
  • 3/1

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    Frances Thank You Card from Fab

    Frances Thank You Cards, $16 for 8 at Fab

    Hey Liz,

    We got married in August and have not had a chance to send out our thank you cards. We traveled until the end of September, my father in law died in October, then amongst the holidays, we started the process of buying our own coffee shop, which is opening next week. Obviously, we’ve had a crazy few months. So, this week, a few disgruntled in-laws decided to publicly comment on how rude it is that I haven’t sent out thank you cards yet. Holy moly! All my friends and most of the things I’ve read say that we have till our year anniversary to get those out. It’s not like I don’t want to send them or that we aren’t incredibly grateful. I just had a plan for sending everyone something special and we have not had the time to do it! I mean, we have over 300 of them to do! 

     Am I being the rude one here? How am I supposed to respond to these people?

     Signed,

    Thankful and Busy Bride

    Dear Thankful,

    Yeah, traditionally, you have a year to send them out, so the comments you’re getting are vaguely obnoxious. But if you’re starting to feel pressure, I’d start working on the gift list, little by little. It’s practically March now, time is not going to slow down, and you are not going to be any less busy any time soon. Start slow, by giving yourself a deadline in the next couple of weeks for getting the material together for your Thank you’s. Next couple of weeks, get the list of gifters in one place. Is there anyone, friend or family, who can help you with any part of this? Don’t be afraid to delegate.

    Dear Liz,

    Can I serve pizza at an evening wedding and have it still look fancy?

    Signed,
    Sliced About It

    Dear Sliced,

    Oh, yeah, like any nice Italian restaurant that serves Pizza, or even CPK, it’s all about the atmosphere. Check out Pinterest – Real silverware and china, centerpieces, candles. Stay away from tin dishes and containers. Make it pretty and your guests won’t blink if you don’t.

    What do you think? Any advice to add to my own, or do you think I’m off on the etiquette? Let me know below! And, if you’d like to find out a little bit more about me, visit my website at www.silvercharmevents.com.

    See you at the end of the aisle,

    Liz
    Liz
  • 2/1

    Dear Liz: I got engaged last month, and I was so excited to start planning my wedding. But it's taking so long to even get to see any venues, we aren't going to visit the first one on my list until this Sunday. It's also been really hard to get a hold of any photographers too, and I don't know what to do.  Is this…

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    1/11

    Wedding Paper Divas Long Story Short Save the Date Magnet

    Available at Wedding Paper Divas Dear Liz, I'm getting married this summer, and we just booked our venue. My mom says that I need to send out Save The Dates, but aren't you supposed to use your engagement photos on those? We don't have a photographer yet! Are save the dates necessary, and if so, how do we do it if we don't have pictures?…

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  • 11/23

    Got a question for Liz? Go to contact page and let us know what's up! So, how was YOUR family gathering on Thanksgiving? Dear Liz, I'm getting married in June and need advice about a guest list dilemma. My father has two sisters and a brother we'll call Bill. Dad doesn't speak to any of them unless it's unavoidable and would prefer if none of…

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    11/9

    Got a question for Liz? Go to the contact page and let us know what's up. Break's Over. Oy: Hi Liz, I'm in need of some advice! I'm getting married next year and butting heads with my parents a bit on the guest list. One of my major concerns is my mom's brother. Although he is an alcoholic and has sent time in rehab in…

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    11/7

    It can take a lot of time and effort to find the right vendor for any part of a wedding. And while lots of websites have list upon list of key questions that you should ask each and every vendor, here are the things that send up little flags for me personally as to whether I'll consider doing business with a vendor. 1. Timely responses…

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  • 2/10

    Dear Liz: Help! We have to bring everything into our venue, chairs, tables, everything. I'm scared that we're going to forget something. Do you have a list of rentals that we need to have for our wedding? Signed, Table Troubled Dear Table, First of all, thanks - it's because of your question that I expanded this topic in  my e-book a couple of nights ago!…

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