Broke-Ass Tag: destination wedding

10/12

So we did it! We’re officially married! We had a beautiful, although a bit chilly, day in Vermont, but it didn’t rain or snow, so I’ll take it! It’s been almost two weeks now, and I’ve had some time to reflect on the experience. Here’s some advice for the brides-in-planning out there.

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Photo courtesy of Joel Boucher of Boucher Visuals
  1. People always say it goes by so fast, and it does! Do your best to be present in the moment, because by the end of the day your head will be spinning. I found it hard with my nerves and all of the details on my mind to actually focus on what was going on and take time to slow it down. I feel like I missed it and wish I could replay it in slow motion.
  2. Weddings are not for the Type-A. You have to let go of some things, which I found very difficult, but some things are just beyond your control. You can’t control the weather, or what your mother-in-law will do, or if your dog will want to pose for a photo when you want him to. You just have to accept those things you can’t control, and do the best you can to know you’ve planned well and things will happen. In the end, worst case scenario is something you laugh about later.
  3. Do what you want. No, really. In other words, don’t do anything that you know deep down you don’t want because you think it will please someone else. It will just put a damper on your day, and you can’t please everyone, so don’t even try. It’s not worth it.
  4. Take all the photos. You are paying your photographer good money. Make sure you have every shot you want. Get shots with your parents, and your guests. Get shots under the pretty tree and do that thing you saw on Pinterest. Who cares?!? You only get one shot to do this day. Capture it all!
  5. Don’t underestimate the need for a schedule, and stick to it. Don’t think you can have a leisurely breakfast and start getting ready an hour before your ceremony. Leave yourself time so you’re not rushed and stressed. See Number 1.
  6. Have someone there to boss around. Whether it is a paid coordinator, or an amazing best friend, have someone that can grab stuff for you, make sure the envelopes with cash get to the right people, carry your clutch with touch-up essentials, find an earring back for you when you lose yours. Things will come up that you do not need to be dealing with so embrace the helper!
  7. I now see the beauty of having an official planner. I think their biggest role is to be your advocate. We had an on-site coordinator from the venue who was lovely, but I had to track her down and was still asking detailed questions about the schedule and flow of the day up to the week of my wedding. It would have been nice to know it was being handled by at least a day-of coordinator that had my back. It’s also nice to have someone that can go bash some skulls if need be.

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More than anything enjoy your day, but know it is only one day in the thousands more you will have together. Even if it’s not perfect, that’s what will make it perfect because, either way, the two of you will share those memories, good or bad.

  • 4/25

    Real Bride Amy's Chittendon VT VenueOne of the biggest decisions I’m trying to make in my planning process is about how I’m going to walk down the aisle. This is something that is probably a no-brainer for most brides-to-be, but it’s something I’ve been debating. The traditional father of the bride walk isn’t an option for me as I haven’t had a relationship with my father for most of my life, and he won’t even be invited to the wedding.

    Option two is my step-father who has been around since I was about 10 years old. We’re certainly close, but not super lovey-emotional. I’ve never called him Dad and I’m just not sure how I feel about having him stand in for this role. At the same time, I don’t want to hurt his feelings if it’s something he wants to do.

    Next choice is my mom. She was a single mother for most of my childhood, and has definitely made me who I am today. On the other hand, I don’t know if she’s one for the spotlight and being the center of attention like that, so I don’t know if she would want to. Plus, she doesn’t really get a lot of the more modern wedding elements, so she might think it’s strange.

    I’m leaning toward option four which is to walk by myself.  It just seems to fit since I can’t really decide.  I’m a very independent person, so it fits my personality in a lot of ways.  Also, I just don’t buy into the whole “being given away” thing.  No one owns me or is giving me to him.  I’m making this choice on my own. It just seems a little antiquated. I just don’t know if it will seem weird, or like I’m trying to make some kind of statement — which I’m not — or if it will make for a strange walking down the aisle picture. I’m also considering having my dogs escort me so I’m not all alone. This might be cute, but I fear it could end in disaster if a squirrel streaks through.

    Have you had to make similar choice? Has anyone walked by themselves? And I haven’t even started to think about what song to walk to! This sums up wedding planning; all the little things become big ones!

  • 3/28

    STEVE + BRIDGET WEDDING-180

    Credit: EPLove Every time I see a post or discussion about ways to save money on your wedding, the number one piece of advice I see is "keep your guest list small." I can see why this is appealing in many ways: For me, I wanted to keep my numbers down because I didn't want the kind of day where I was spending all my…

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    3/14

    Real Bride Amy: The Straw that Broke This Bride's Back

    We're almost at the six-month countdown to our wedding. Most of the major plans are in place. Vendors are booked. Dress is bought. Now it's time to line up all the details. There have been several times during the planning process that I have wanted to throw in the towel. I've gotten over the hurdles so far and moved on, but this past week I…

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    2/29

    Etsy TrueloveAffair Silhouette Cake Topper

    If you had asked me five years ago if I saw myself marrying someone with a child, I would have laughed and vigorously shaken my head "no." I was so convinced, in fact, that I bought a smallish house that was plenty of space for a single woman and her shoes. Well five years, two dogs, a fiance and his soon-to-be 9-year-old son later, and that…

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  • 2/24

    Maggie Sottero Jade

    Hiya BABs! It's time for another CAI/GOI challenge! Reader Rachel empathized with the BAB in this post: We are set on a destination wedding, but most of my 8 siblings can't make it, as well as my parents. We are providing the vacation homes for those who can make it and are purchasing the flights for my parents as well. Because of this, our budget is almost spent.…

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    2/15

    real-bride-amy-true-north-bridal-salon

    After procrastinating for several months, I finally went and ordered my dress. My friend came along for moral support, and she agreed that was the one. So I said "Yes," but there were no tears, no Champagne popping ... because I knew what was coming next. The dreaded measurements. (Cue scary music.) I had put off the appointment with the hope that I would loose a…

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    2/1

    Fifth Heaven Silver Dollar Ring

    Ring available from Etsy seller FifthHeaven I can't believe January of 2016 is over! It seems like this year is flying by, and that means my wedding is fast approaching and planning activities are really starting to take off. I'm now in a super busy planning stage where vendor emails and contracts and payments are flying fast and furious. With that, comes the reality: All…

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  • 1/22

    Minnesota State Letterpress Print by paperparasolpress

    Minnesota Letterpress Print on Etsy by paperparasolpress Most couples planning a wedding have been there at some point: Just when you've come up with The Perfect Wedding Plan, family finds a way to foil it! One of our BAB readers has such a dilemma: Dear BABs, I am hoping you can help me out. I am from Houston, TX, my fiance is from a small town…

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