I’ve been wracking my brain to come up with some truly epic wedding advice for you, BABs. This being my last advice post for The Broke-Ass Bride for the moment, I’m feeling some (self-imposed) pressure to get it right! 😉 I hope you enjoy it, and remember that you can always reply in the comments or email BAB directly with your questions.
It’s been my honor and pleasure to write for The Broke-Ass Bride and to answer your wedding planning questions and concerns, and I hope to bump into some of you out there in Weddingland! 😀 For now, I leave you with good vibes, best wishes for a happy wedding and marriage, and the following final tips:
Talk About Money
We talk a lot about gowns (yay!) and reception food (NOM) and pretty little details (:swoon:) during wedding planning. We talk about all the feels. And we talk about savvy ways to save on wedding expenses. But today my advice is to talk about the much bigger money picture with your partner. The wedding can be a yuuuuuuuge expense, to be sure, but how you navigate expenses going forward into your marriage is also kind of a big deal. We’ve all heard that money is one of the things married couples fight about most often, so raising the topic sooner than later will set you up for success. Do you have debts? What are your spending habits like? How do you budget for expenses? Will any of that change when you’re married? Will you share accounts, or keep them separate? How will you divide expenses? Do you expect to discuss all major expenses together, or will you make those decisions independently? Who will manage the bills? All of these questions — and more — are important to talk about with your partner, and if you’re paying in full or part for your wedding you may want to start talking about it now. Once you can come up for air in the wedding planning department, schedule a budget planning party with your partner, and hash out what your post-wedding budget will look like.
Save For Your Future
Leading up to the marriage there’s a lot of spending: buying things for the wedding, buying things for your home together, and maybe even buying things for a baby (or furbaby!) on the way. #ProTip: Don’t forget to also save. As soon as the two of you have figured out how you’ll tackle expenses and shared (or not) accounts (see above), it’s time to come up with a plan to save for your future — for medical bills, vacations, retirement, school tuition for yourselves or kids, a new house, etc. Have fun dreaming up a future together, then create special accounts where you’ll sock away money toward those dreams. You’ll be surprised how quickly the spare change adds up!
Invest In The Marriage
Once upon a time, marriages were transactions about money or power. We’re lucky to live in a time (and place) when love and choice reign, and partners are chosen for compatibility and companionship, when we get to marry our best friend and the person who just gets us. My parting wish for you is that you invest not necessarily money, but your time, care, and attention in your marriage, and in nurturing your partner, and your partnership. Because BABs, your marriage is worth way more than the wedding. ❤️
Real Bride Lucinda married Chris under sunny skies and amidst a gorgeous northern Massachusetts backdrop in a classic wedding celebration. After DIYing some seriously huge aspects of her wedding — including her wedding dress, veil, signage and paper flowers for decor — the couple celebrated with family and friends while the talented Maria Burton Photography captured their day. In a typically super expensive wedding market (about $40K on average), this couple pulled off a gorgeous, classy and fun celebration for about $15,000.
Name: Lucinda and Christopher Occupation: Marketing (L), Real Estate (C) Wedding location: Dracut, MA WeddingDate: 6/4/2016 Budget: $15k Number of Guests: 55
How would you describe your wedding?
For our wedding, we incorporated things into the day that make us happy and had a personal feel to them — we did not want our wedding to look anything like those cookie-cutter weddings you’d see on The Knot! It was small, with only close friends and family, and it was nice to be able to talk to everyone during the evening and have the whole gang on he dance floor at once.
What was your favorite part of your wedding?
Our DIY photo booth (or, “faux-to” booth) was a fun element we decided to make at the last minute with some funky fabric and a PVC piping frame. Our friends provided the props for silly pictures, and the mylar balloon banner added a whimsical touch. Plus, having it right in the foyer when you walked in to the reception to pick up your seating card set the tone for the evening and made it easy for people to grab some pictures away from the dance floor and dining room.
What did you splurge on?
The balloons were the most expensive part of our wedding decorations (about $600) but worth it (despite the fact that we went through a lot of difficulties with the company we worked with and had to fix the balloons on our wedding day. I’m not listing the vendor because I really don’t recommend them). It was one of those unexpected elements that surprised our guests. I mean, who has balloons at a wedding?!
We also had a harpist for the ceremony and cocktail hour! It was a nice touch that added a personal feeling with the music we selected, lots of Beatles and classic rock tunes — the kind of music we both like listening to.
Other than my wedding dress, the photography was the most important part of our wedding and we were willing to spend a good chunk of our budget on photography — after all, our photos would commemorate our big day and would be what our family would look at in future years and generations to come. We were lucky enough to find a wonderful photographer that fit in our budget and exceeded our expectations in every way for our engagement and wedding photos.
We bought the bouquets and boutonnieres at Wegman’s (a grocery store chain in the mid-atlantic and northeast) instead of a traditional florist for the bouquets and we DIY’d our centerpieces — that was a huge savings, flowers can be so expensive and we didn’t want to spend that kind of money. Using big blooms like hydrangeas instead of a mix of flowers cut down on the expense, and I like how dramatic and modern one single type of flower looked. Wegman’s put the bouquets together for us and wrapped each one with ivory ribbon. For reference, my bouquet was $35 with six blooms and the bridesmaid bouquets were $25 with three blooms.
Instead of finding someone specializing in bridal hair, my hairdresser who has cut and colored my hair over the last eight years did my updo as well as my sister’s hair. I also found my makeup artist at Sephora last summer when I went in to get my makeup done for an event. I liked her work so much I hired her to do makeup for the entire wedding party. These were much more economical choices than finding someone who does only bridal hair and makeup, because as soon as you mutter the word “wedding,” there’s immediately an upcharge with so many vendors.
Was there anything you would have done differently, in retrospect?
Nope! It was exactly how we wanted it.
What was your biggest challenge in planning?
Thinking that we needed a theme and stressing out how to incorporate all of the elements of the wedding into the theme. We ended up saying screw it, you don’t need to have a theme for your wedding! Once we let go of that idea, figuring out how to decorate etc. became a lot easier.
What lessons did you learn from planning or from the wedding itself?
Things aren’t always going to turn out how you hope, but that’s ok, you just have to roll with the punches. And lean on your friends to help you with planning and DIYing — they’re really willing to pitch in and give you a hand!
What were your top 5 favorite things about your wedding?
1. Our photographer was awesome =- hands down.
2. The food — everyone raved about the hors d’oeuvres and we actually got to eat our yummy dinner and cake!
3. Getting ready with my gals before the wedding and being silly in our matching robes
4. Dancing with all of our friends and family
5. The coordinator at our venue was a doll to work with and kept everything on track, even when we had an unexpected guest show up at our wedding!
Top 5 least favorite?
1. I wish I could have said “bye” to all of our guests as they were leaving and to have thanked them all for coming at the end of the evening — we were having too much fun on the dance floor
2. Our balloon vendor was downright awful — it was easy for them to take our money, but challenging to work with and nail down the details such as when our balloons were actually going to be delivered on our wedding day and how they were going to be set up. Do not recommend!!
3. It would have been nice to spend more time with some of my relatives that I don’t get to see very often
4. We didn’t get to hear much of the harp music since it was played before our ceremony and during cocktail hour when we were off taking pictures. It’s ok, it was more for our guests but it would have been nice to hear more than we did
5. Feeling like you’re getting pulled around on a tight schedule — everyone wants a piece of you on your wedding day
What was the worst piece of wedding advice you received?
“Your wedding is more about your guests than it is about you.” Umm, to a degree, but not really. Last time I checked, it was about us celebrating a lifelong commitment to each other and sharing in that with our guests. Yes, we wanted to make sure that we picked out tasty food that would cater to everyone’s preferences and we were able to swing having an open bar for cocktail hour, but other than that, remembering that the day was about our commitment to each other helped to keep things in check as we went through the planning process, trying to figure out what to do.
“It’s a marathon, not a sprint” — credit to my sister on that one the night before the wedding, regarding how to treat marriage and the issues that come up.
Any other bits of wisdom?
Don’t let anyone make you think or feel that you need to do things a certain way or have your wedding be a certain way. It’s your wedding, do what you want. And if you’re afraid that people are going to think poorly of your decisions, then they aren’t really your true friends or care about you.
Ceremony – free, our JP was a family friend
Reception – $7,800
Decorations – $1,000
Flowers – $150
Harpist – $250
DJ – $895
Photography – $1,800
Stationery – $350 (including invitations and magnetic Save the Dates)
Wedding Dress – $800 (including my travel to NYC and hotel while I hunted for dress fabric)
Shoes – $80
Veil – $10
Jewelry and accessories – $192
Hair – $75
Makeup – $350 (including makeup for my bridesmaids, part of my gift to them)
Groom’s suit – his own
Groom’s shoes – $75
Gifts – $400 (ties and nips for the groomsmen, robes and clutches for the bridesmaids)
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