Broke-Ass Tag: Budget Wedding

6/27

Since my wedding is a year away, I have not actively started the DIYing that I plan to do. I have also experienced my fair share of being totally non-committal in choosing our wedding venue. While on vacation, we found one, and it is gorgeous. It’s n an island in Georgia, overlooking my favorite thing on Earth: the ocean. The ceremony will take place under a 500-year-old live oak tree referred to by the locals as “the tree of love.” I found a great deal. They have my name penciled in for the date, and I have the contract for us to sign and return (with payment) within two weeks in order confirm the booking.

Real bride heather_post

My fiance has been seemingly excited, and I am, too about being his wife. While I know how much weddings can cost, and I know that the price that I have managed to work for this one day is amazing, I have been literally sick with anxiety about the costs we are incurring for literally four hours. I found ways to slash the costs by eliminating florists, making my own centerpieces, bouquets, boutonnieres, getting a cake from Publix, etc.

But that contract, unsigned, in my inbox is giving me night terrors. I want a day with him to celebrate us becoming husband and wife. I want to wear the dress and have our family and close friends there, I want us to celebrate the absolutely rock solid relationship that we have built. None of the second thoughts that I am about to share with all of the Interwebs have a single thing to do with being married. It has solely to do with feeling like we are wasting money on one day, when our daily lives would be so much less worrisome with that $7,500 dollars sitting in an emergency fund, or a Roth IRA.

Here are the ways that I wish I was more of a girl who could be frivolous:

Instead of the value in the ocean breeze and sunset creating the ultimate backdrop for amazing memories: I see that if my daughter fell and broke her arm, we would have the deductible money.

Instead of seeing the cake with our adorable, carefully chosen, and most likely, nerdy topper: I see an unexpected car repair bill that could be easily covered by money in our savings account.

My mind is reeling with all of these other uses for the money he and I work so very hard to earn. I want all of these elaborate wedding things, but in the end, do we need them?

I guess one downfall of growing up kind of poor, being a single mother in the great recession (where I at some points had three part-time jobs because full time work was just not out there), is that its very hard for me to spend money. So last night, I said something. We talked. For a long time. Turns out, he feels the same way and never mentioned it because he thought that by going along with it, he was making me happy.

So, here’s what we decided. We are not doing it that way. We are going to figure out something else. He and I will use the money to improve our every day lives, not one day of our life. We are going to keep the same day that we chose and figure out something that will be laidback and far less money. In the end, all that matters to him and to me, is that he is my husband, and I am his wife.

  • 5/20

    Affiliate Disclaimer NewEtsy TheAngelPaperie These are My People Quote on Canvas

    Quote on Canvas available from Etsy seller TheAngelPaperie

    I recently re-shared a post I wrote last year about fear-mongering, shaming and budget weddings because I’ve been noticing a trend that concerns me — not necessarily among our readers, but more among wedding businesses. Recently on BAB’s Facebook page, one of our advertisers was harassed and bullied due to the nature of her business. See, she was an online wedding gown retailer — her gowns were made by seamstresses overseas, but she was not the rip-off, knock-off business you’ve read about on Buzzfeed. Rather, like a very large majority of retailers across all sectors, she outsourced the manufacturing of her gowns overseas to cut down on costs and save her customers money. And her customers are primarily brides working with smaller budgets, so her advertising with us was kind of a no-brainer. I had thoroughly done my research before agreeing to work with her, because we try to ensure our partnerships aren’t only good for us as a business, but for you guys as consumers.

    One of our primary goals here is to provide a safe space for businesses and couples of all ilks to come and connect. Not every wedding business is cut from the same cloth and they tend to cater to a wide range of customers, just as not every couple is the same and will make decisions best for them based on their budgets and wants. But finding the right people for you when there are a million and a half websites and options out there can be tricky. So we try to help and support both you and those businesses.

    In the incident with the wedding gown retailer, she had purchased a Facebook shoutout sometime in April. Last week, a woman — who I discovered is the owner of a brick and mortar bridal salon in Kentucky — started accusing our advertiser of being a wedding gown counterfeiter. Though our advertiser responded that she was not a counterfeiter and offered to privately discuss her business with this woman, the comments did not stop. And in fact, the woman pulled in other brick and mortar bridal salon owners to comment as well, eventually leading to a thread about 50 comments deep and genuinely full of harassing and bullying comments. They even recruited a staffer of a well-known bridal magazine and started accusing the advertiser of tax fraud among other unethical business practices. I remained in communication with the advertiser the whole time, trying to support and defend her — because that’s what we do when we’ve vetted a business we believe is a good fit. And we certainly don’t tolerate bullying or harassment of any kind, especially not on our own social media platforms. In the end, the advertiser asked me to delete the Facebook post, which I did, and she decided to close her shop for a while.

    You guys, this behavior lead her to CLOSE HER SHOP. As in, stop her business. That’s not very cool. And in the end, it came to light that the whole ruckus began because the brick and mortar salon owner believes online retailers are a threat to her business — so rather than doing her research, she attacked.

    Here at The Broke-Ass Bride, we have often promoted nontraditional methods of obtaining your wedding gown — whether it’s shopping off-the-rack, buying from online retailers, sewing your own gown or even daring to get your gown from an overseas retailer. We try to provide you with the best information and education possible so you can make the best decision for you and your budget. We know that your budgets vary, based on the figures you give us to work with for Can’t Afford It? Get Over It! and we know that bridal salons may not be the best place for you to buy your wedding gown, given they often have starting prices that are double what many of you would like to spend. For many of you, dropping mad cash on a gown you will wear for a single day is not a priority, so we try to help you find options that work for you. But others of you place high priority on the gown and want the salon experience, and we applaud that as well.

    And this goes beyond wedding gowns. We try to provide you with tips, tricks, DIY tutorials and advice to help you be creative and savvy with your wedding dollars, regardless of your budget. We realize no two of you darling Broke-Asses are alike, nor will your weddings be. You are all prioritizing differently for your weddings, which we well know just from our Real Brides, so we try to include as much information as possible. And we strive to make this a safe, judgment-free community for you to come to, regardless if your wedding budget is $100 or $50,000 (or more!). Budget means different things to different people, and is totally relative depending on where you live, what you do, etc. We stand behind the companies we we work with because we believe they’ll be a great fit for you.

    We often hear the word “tacky” thrown around a lot in Weddingland, and we actually have our comment moderation set up both here and on Facebook to require manual approval for any comment that contains the word, because we feel so strongly about not hurting other people’s feelings. We keep a close eye on all of our social media platforms to ensure everyone is playing nice and you, our readers, feel safe having conversations in the space we provide. Because weddings are stressful, y’all, and the last thing you or anyone needs is for a stranger to openly and wantonly judge or harass you based on the decisions you make that are best for your situation. In an industry that stretches into the billions in revenue yearly and relies on the likes of celebrities and their multi-million dollar nuptials to forecast trends, being a bride with a small budget — whether by choice or by circumstance — can be difficult and shade can and will be thrown.

    But not here. Whether you’re an advertiser who wants to work with Broke-Ass couples or you are a part of a Broke-Ass couple, this is your space. This area was made for you. And we try to make it safe so you can be who you are and throw the wedding you want, whatever that looks like and however you accomplish that.

    christen
  • 1/26

    save_the_date

    Our first official wedding correspondence is going out in a week or two (as soon as I get around to DIY-ing them) -- our Save the Dates. Everyone we’re close to knows that we’re getting married. It shouldn’t be a secret or surprise to anyone when they arrive in the mail. It’s also not as if our wedding and getting married doesn’t already seem real;…

    Read the full article →
    Share this!

    12/8

    Sneak peek pic from Julie and Matt's wedding

    One of our sneak peek photos provided by SK Photography One of the things I was most excited for as my wedding approached was the free time I was sure I’d have once everything was said and done. For the past four years, any time Matt and I weren’t at least trying to think about the wedding, I felt an overwhelming amount of guilt. In…

    Read the full article →
    Share this!

    11/20

    The Broke-Ass Bride's 2015 Gift Guide For the Libation Lover

    Hey Broke-Asses! It's that time of year again, where instead of Five for Friday, we'll be compiling some seriously rad gift guides for y'all. From the fun to the funny, the quirky to the practical and all of the budget ideas in between, I've scoured the Interwebz to find those perfect gifts for someone -- or everyone! -- on your list. We all have that one…

    Read the full article →
    Share this!
  • 8/25

    bridal_magazines_2

    As a brand new Real Bride Contributor, I thought I’d share with you how I became a Broke-Ass Bride in the first place. As a teenager, I worked at a hobby shop with an enormous magazine section covering every possible topic you can think of. I would cautiously walk past the bridal section but wouldn’t dare flip through any for some inane fear of jinxing…

    Read the full article →
    Share this!

    4/24

    Hi BABs! Apologies for being AWOL – February and March went by in a blur! As we got closer to our Pi Day wedding, I felt a lot of stress and pressure coming at me from all sides. Despite my now-husband’s best efforts to calm me down, I worried a lot about our wedding and making sure everything was perfect. I know, I know, it’s…

    Read the full article →
    Share this!

    1/5

    Heeeyyyoooo! Welcome to 2015, BABs! For those newbie Broke-Ass Brides, welcome to the party! For those of you who've been partying for a minute, yay! You made it through the hols, hopefully with your sanity fully functional. Regardless, darling, you're engaged. And that means you've got some biiiig things coming your way. And we're here to help! A great place to start would be here:…

    Read the full article →
    Share this!
  • 12/15

    The Broke-Ass Bride's 2014 Gift Guide For the Love of Design

    There's nothing quite like a well-designed product -- either aesthetically or for usefulness ... but it's really great it it's both. Whether it's sleek and simple, fun and quirky or just one of those "D'oh! Of course! It makes total sense!" (See: this cutting board, which I didn't include because I've obsessed enough over it.) And of course, once I got to looking, it was…

    Read the full article →
    Share this!