Since my wedding is a year away, I have not actively started the DIYing that I plan to do. I have also experienced my fair share of being totally non-committal in choosing our wedding venue. While on vacation, we found one, and it is gorgeous. It’s n an island in Georgia, overlooking my favorite thing on Earth: the ocean. The ceremony will take place under a 500-year-old live oak tree referred to by the locals as “the tree of love.” I found a great deal. They have my name penciled in for the date, and I have the contract for us to sign and return (with payment) within two weeks in order confirm the booking.
My fiance has been seemingly excited, and I am, too about being his wife. While I know how much weddings can cost, and I know that the price that I have managed to work for this one day is amazing, I have been literally sick with anxiety about the costs we are incurring for literally four hours. I found ways to slash the costs by eliminating florists, making my own centerpieces, bouquets, boutonnieres, getting a cake from Publix, etc.
But that contract, unsigned, in my inbox is giving me night terrors. I want a day with him to celebrate us becoming husband and wife. I want to wear the dress and have our family and close friends there, I want us to celebrate the absolutely rock solid relationship that we have built. None of the second thoughts that I am about to share with all of the Interwebs have a single thing to do with being married. It has solely to do with feeling like we are wasting money on one day, when our daily lives would be so much less worrisome with that $7,500 dollars sitting in an emergency fund, or a Roth IRA.
Here are the ways that I wish I was more of a girl who could be frivolous:
Instead of the value in the ocean breeze and sunset creating the ultimate backdrop for amazing memories: I see that if my daughter fell and broke her arm, we would have the deductible money.
Instead of seeing the cake with our adorable, carefully chosen, and most likely, nerdy topper: I see an unexpected car repair bill that could be easily covered by money in our savings account.
My mind is reeling with all of these other uses for the money he and I work so very hard to earn. I want all of these elaborate wedding things, but in the end, do we need them?
I guess one downfall of growing up kind of poor, being a single mother in the great recession (where I at some points had three part-time jobs because full time work was just not out there), is that its very hard for me to spend money. So last night, I said something. We talked. For a long time. Turns out, he feels the same way and never mentioned it because he thought that by going along with it, he was making me happy.
So, here’s what we decided. We are not doing it that way. We are going to figure out something else. He and I will use the money to improve our every day lives, not one day of our life. We are going to keep the same day that we chose and figure out something that will be laidback and far less money. In the end, all that matters to him and to me, is that he is my husband, and I am his wife.