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Okay. So. We’ve been planning this shindig for like 14 months. That’s a long time (haha, just kidding … every bride-to-be know that shit flies by SO quickly). But in the real world, it really is a long time to plan one event. I cannot tell you how many individual decisions we’ve made, nor how many obstacles we’ve had to overcome. Russel and I are both pretty laid back by nature, so if we run into a problem, we just figure out how to fix it. We’ve had no freak outs, no Bridezilla moments, etc. We’re a little over two weeks from the big day, so isn’t RIGHT NOW the perfect time for me to have my first meltdown?? Of course!
It starts with my dress. I love my dress. LOVE IT. I went to two shops and tried on about 10 or so total (I would guess). At the first store, I really liked two of them, but I didn’t love either. At the second store, I tried THE dress on last, and knew it was perfect. I had that bubbly, happy, euphoric feeling, even as the consultant was swiping my credit card at checkout. It felt like such a huge weight had been lifted, especially because I put off this very big, important decision until basically the last possible minute. That’s obviously a whole other story. So anyway. I love my dress, but it is rather … unique. I don’t want to spill all the details on the off chance Russel decides to read this. What I can say that it is making finding the right bra IMPOSSIBLE.
Let us list the reasons it’s impossible.
- It has straps, but they are very thin. I knew going in that I could not wear a normal bra. Okay, no big deal. Who wears a normal bra on their wedding day? I am guessing hardly anyone.
- The back makes wearing a traditional strapless bra unfeasible. Kind of a bigger deal, but back when I bought the dress, it didn’t seem insurmountable. My mom, bridesmaid Adrienne, the shop consultant and I discussed it and figured I’d be able to find a solution.
- One of those solutions was sewing cups into the dress. We all agreed it could be a good option. Including the consultant … who worked there. So when I went in for my first fitting and the seamstress told me that their cups only go up to a size B, well LOL. That would have been fantastic to know. My boobs are effing huge, people. Like way too big. But there is not much I can do about them, so yeah … B cups are not gonna work. Even with cups, I am not sure it would offer quite enough support, thin-strapped dress and all.
- Okay. So now I know I need a strapless bra that is either backless, or has a very low one. Those exist, right? Yes. They do. I know that they do because I have now purchased four different options and tried on about 10 others — all without success, of course. Take it from me: the chicken cutlets and other stick-ons aren’t going to work if you have big chesties. And all of those low back bustiers or corsets? They aren’t going to come in your size, either.
So here we are. Two weeks out and I am braless. I still haven’t done my final dress fitting because my seamstress (not the one at the store, btw — hated her) wants me to wear the actual undergarments I will be wearing on my wedding day. Which makes total sense, obviously. But I don’t own them yet. So yes, the meltdown has commenced. I now spend all my free time scouring the Interwebz looking for something — ANYTHING — that might work. I also spend every other day shopping in real stores, trying to find The One. Note to retailers and manufacturers: girls with boobs bigger than a D cup would love to have shapewear and strapless bras that fit them. Hell, I don’t even mind modifying something if I have to, which is starting to look like my only option.
So if anyone needs me, I’ll be huddled over my phone or computer or popping in and out of shops all over Northeast Ohio and also having panic attacks in my car between stores.
PS sorry this post was such a downer! But it feels good to vent, I must admit.