The BAB brigade has sensed a…disturbance…in the Force. Or at least, I have. It started with my “Ask Liz” post last week. I answered a question on rentals, and a question on calculating your wedding budget, and the budget one got all the attention and a great deal of defensive push-back. And then on Wednesday, the Real Wedding post led to another firestorm of comments. The bride and groom spent $6,000, but they were given their photography, attire and a couple of other things as gifts. Some peeps cried foul: That was NOT a $6,000 wedding! It’s easy to only spend $6,000 on your wedding if you’re given another few thousand on top of that! And I thought, they spent that $6,000 on a venue, food, and alcohol for 125 people in Los Angeles. I wouldn’t go straight to “easy.” Even if the photography added another $3,000 to the mix, this wedding wasn’t breaking the bank. As a wedding planner in the same town, I was impressed. But no one paid attention to the things they did to save money – again, finding an inexpensive venue, inexpensive catering, and limiting the bar… options everyone has.
Eventually, the bride herself weighed in to confirm that even with the “freebies” her wedding was still under $10,000, far, far less than half the average wedding cost in this town. Broke-Ass Bride status affirmed. There were some mutterings about how no one was trying to attack her…
…But you know, they kind of did.
Budgets are THE touchy wedding subject. How much you have to spend, what you can’t afford, what you can vs. whatever every other bride in the world has to spend. It’s frustrating when your dreams aren’t supported by the money in your checking account, and it can make you focus more on what you don’t have, as opposed to working with what you do have. I get it. It can make you more sensitive about the true cost of other people’s weddings, which is one of the things that seemed to be going on here. And I get that, too. But it can also screw with your sense of perspective.
What worried me, was the… what’s the word… vehement begrudging of the financial assistance that she got from friends and family. Here’s the thing and I speak from experience: If you’re going to pull off a 10k wedding, you’re going to need help. Excuse me, you’re going to have to get help. The kindness of family and friends, the flexibility of your vendors, whatever it takes to get you there, no small-budget wedding is an island. Don’t begrudge: Learn. What can another person’s wedding teach you about how to create yours? What did they have that you have, too? What do they have that you might not have but can compensate for? Use the resources you’ve got to get what you need. And ask as many questions as you can, and for as much help as you can get. In the meantime, go easy on one another: It’s rough enough out there, already.
That being said, I wanna hear about your victories in the $10k wedding race: What was the last fantastic discount, donation or friend-or that’s going to get you that much further down the aisle? Let me know, and let me know what you think, in the comments below.
See you at the end of the aisle,