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We all know being a Broke-Ass Bride is about being wise with your green and making sure it’s spent in the right places and with the right people. But what about when you’re a guest at a broke-ass (or not) wedding and you’re still a broke-ass? Unlike when planning your own wedding, being a guest isn’t necessarily at the constant forefront of your mind, occupying all of your money- and sanity-related thoughts. Your life is no longer engulfed by the “OHEMGEEZ how are we going to afford to feed/inebriate/entertain everyone we know and love AND get my hurr did AND pay for alterations AND make sure our friends know how much we appreciate them with gifts AND … AND … AND … ” Well, you know.
But being a broke-ass wedding guest can still have its panic-inducing, curl-up-in-a-ball kind of moments. I’m attending a wedding June 16 in Louisville, Ky. It is one of two I was invited to this summer, and the other I had to respectfully turn down because, well wouldn’t ya know it, it was on the exact same day. It was really difficult for me to say no because the bride was one of the first roommates Husbandface and I had together when we began cohabitating. But the one I eagerly said ABSO-FREAKIN’-LUTELY to is one of my nearest and dearests. In fact, she was in our wedding and her mama has been like my own for many many moons.
But! Louisville is pretty far from my little neck of the woods. And since off-season hit Husbandface and I like a fastball right to the schnozz (sorry, it’s also baseball season), things got pretty tight around here in a hurry. With him getting laid off until his new job starts in June and me working full-time, but for a newspaper — which, as an industry, tend to be notorious for mediocre wages — I knew I had to be uber wise about how I spent my cash, money, yo. But there was no way in a blazing inferno I would let my lack of flow hinder my only vacation this year and my chance to hang with my girls.
In December, I thought things would be peachy-keen. I bought a baller new dress (on sale, from ModCloth) and began browsing some swank digs to lay my head for the week. Then April hit and KABLOOEY! I still have the dress, but can no longer pony up for the luxe life.
As luck would have it, I’m traveling with the bride’s mama. And she is super spending-savvy. First we camped out on Kayak.com, Orbitz.com, Priceline.com … you name it, to find the absolute cheapest airfare. Things were looking to bottom out around $500. Then, as if with a stroke of luck, the bride herself came through with the best news of all: She had vouchers from her and her fiance’s chaos-riddled journey to get to my own wedding. So, with the vouchers and a 5-hour drive to get to the nearest big airport, the round-trip tickets for both of us only cost $120. WHEW.
Next up was the hotel issue. Obviously, we wanted to stay at the hotel closest to the venue, which is the one where the block had been booked *YOU GUYS. If you don’t already know this, pay attention: Blocks often times cost money for the couple. But, if they can fill the block, they are not only saving you money (in some cases, like when we got married, HALF OFF), but sometimes they’ll even get a room for a night out of it. So really, it behooves ALL THE PEOPLE to take advantage of the couple’s legwork in setting these up.* However, it was a bit pricey to hole up there for the total of 10 days we were going to be there. So, we scoured the area for good deals. But Louisville is BIG. And we weren’t renting a car, thus we’d be relying on the bus system. And *Ta Da*!!! The bride’s Maid of Humor/Sisterface stepped in and offered up her crib AND her know-how of the city’s public transport. So, Sisterface and I are bunking down at the aforementioned hotel for two nights surrounding the wedding, and I get to play roommate with two of my fave ladies in the world for the rest of the week.
Now, I only have to scrimp and save for food, booze and other accouterments (have I mentioned it’s baseball season? Because I’m TOTES checking out the Louisville Slugger factory).
Now, I know that not everyone will luck out quite in the way I did, but between my destination wedding and attending this wedding (the first one ever I’ve had to travel for without my parents), I think I’ve racked up some tips for you:
- Camp out on travel sites. Sign up for fare-alert emails, check back daily (if not twice!) and check out surrounding airports. The town I live in is generally at least an extra $200 to fly in/out of. One an hour and a half away knocks anywhere from $50 to $150 off that price. The one we’re flying out of? It’s a fairly big airport, so it’s super cheap to fly into another major airport. The drive makes the savings worth it.
- Take advantage of hotel blocks. Even if it’s just for a night or two around the wedding. After a fantastic event, it’s so nice to go somewhere close, maybe a little more upscale than what you would normally book, and bask in the glow of what you just experienced. Chances are you’re getting a killer deal, won’t have to deal with too much in the way of transportation to and from and will most likely run into fellow revelers for nightcaps or morning coffee. You’re also helping the newlyweds out.
- Take a chance and bunk up with a fellow single traveler. You could split the cost of the room and any taxis/shuttles you take during the week. And you could make a lifelong new friend. Also, by offering this, you could be alleviating any possible whining to the bride/groom/family that may be taking place. And everyone knows a happy couple means a rockin’ event.
What are some ways you’ve found to make travel, especially traveling for weddings, a little less painful on the purse?
When we started talking about our Honeymoon, Mr. Officer told me we should go to an all-inclusive resort…….because that’s what people do on their Honeymoon. I went to an all-inclusive in Mexico with a few girlfriends a while back though, and I wasn’t sold. I’ll just say that the trip involved a tropical storm, a moldy room, some lost luggage and a terrible staff production of Cats. Also, now seems like a good time to mention that Mr. Officer and I tend to burn to a crisp each time we step into the sun. Needless to say, we quickly realized that a Caribbean vacation was not in the cards for us.
So that left us with a few options.
Option 1. Cruise
We’ve done this vacation in the past and it’s always tons of fun. The cruise lines are constantly running specials that make it a VERY affordable option and Norwegian Cruise Line leaves straight from NYC, saving us money on airfare. We also love the multiple dining options on Norwegian, because it makes us feel less like we’re “stuck” onboard. It costs extra to eat in the onboard restaurants (i.e. $10 – $25 per person), but the cost of the room is affordable enough to make the extras seem reasonable.
Katie getting ready to dig into the chocolate fondue at the French Restaurant…oooh la la!
Option 2. Cabin in the Great Smoky Mountains
My sister rented a cabin with her family and some friends a few years ago, and I’ve wanted to do this vacation ever since she told me about it. I love the idea of sipping wine in a jacuzzi while overlooking the mountains, and I’m also pretty taken with the cheesiness of DollyWood. Seriously, how many people can say that they went to the Dixie Stampede, Cooter’s Place in the Smokies AND a moonshine distillery on their honeymoon?! Mr. Officer voted this down as a honeymoon option, but I maintain that this vacation still needs to happen at some point.
I grew up going to the Jersey Shore (cabs are here!), and I absolutely love Ocean City, NJ. The beach is great, the boardwalk is loads of fun, and our travel time from New York would be super short. The only problem is that Ocean City is definitely more of a family vacation and I think Mr. Officer and I might get a little bit bored by ourselves. We both golf, so I’ve been wanting to branch out and try Hilton Head, Myrtle Beach or Duck; although again, that seems like more of a trip to do with friends and/or family.
Katie riding the carousel on the Ocean City Boardwalk….oh yeah & I got the brass ring, baby!
Option 4. Disney World
My sister lives in Florida, so Mr. Officer and I go down there almost every year to visit family and get our Disney fill. As cheesy as it is, we absolutly love Disney. I know what you’re thinking and to answer your question, you don’t need to take kids because adult Disney is AWESOME! I’ll let these pictures do the talking:
And enjoying some French champagne on a rainy day in Epcot
The only problem is that there’s a bit of a stigma of lameness that goes with a Disneymoon. I mean let’s face it just saying “We’re going to Disney World for our honeymoon” automatically conjures up visions of a couple with a creepster room at home devoted to Tinker Bell paraphernalia. We decided to throw caution to the wind though and take the Disneymoon plunge.
That brings us to the next obstacle….price. Disney trips can be extremely pricey (Grand Floridian, I’m looking at you), but there are a number of surprisingly good budget options and we’ve even considered renting a cost saving house in Orlando. This isn’t my first Disney rodeo though, so I knew that Disney periodically runs amazing specials. Luckily, I was rewarded for my patience and we were able to save over $1,000 on our trip by booking during a promotion in February. Score!
So now we’re looking forward to spending the first week in June like this:
Katie & Mr. Officer looking cute in front of Space Mountain
We are beyond excited for our trip, and I might even be convinced to really nerd it up with these. Stay tuned next week when I’ll talk about how we’ve been saving for our trip!
In the meantime, did anyone else do a Disneymoon? How did you answer people that thought your honeymoon wasn’t hip enough, because you didn’t spend your time backpacking through Thailand? Does anyone have any good Disneymoon tips?
Last week I had the immense pleasure and honor to be a speaker at the first annual Inspire Smart Success Experience in Riviera Cancun, Mexico – and had the time of my life meeting, learning from and educating a diverse and talented group of wedding business pros of every level. Oh, and drinking copious margaritas. And mojitos. And basking on the beach. And dancing by the pool. And periodic tequila shots. Y’know, all the things that make a trip to the Caribbean… well, a trip to the Caribbean. That is, if you like to party. And oh… I likes to party.
(you should know that I am a WHORE for all-inclusive resorts after our honeymoon at Dreams Los Cabos. You give a broke-ass like me permission to eat and drink as much as I want, including room service an a mini bar? I might never leave. And I will gain like 20 pounds. Yeah, that happened.)
I can safely say that it was the most fun Hunter and I have ever had at a wedding industry event. It was impeccably planned, designed and executed by Stacie, Rachel and her team, and the people it attracted were some of the most outgoing and genuine I’ve had the chance to meet in this business. Such a bad-ass crew. Stacie definitely attracted an amazing crew of attendees and speakers! I miss them all already.
Inspire Smart Success was created by the incomparable Stacie Francombe (former founder and CEO of GetMarried Media) as a full service entrepreneurship mentoring concept. From a quarterly magazine to regional conferences to one-on-one mentorship and beyond, Stacie is building an empire focused on helping people develop and grow their businesses to their fullest potential. She’s done several city-specific mini-conferences this year and wrapped it up with a 4-day experience in the most gorgeous of gorgeous settings at the Now Sapphire Resort on the sparkling gulf of mexico.
From the minute we arrived, we were blown away by the attention to detail and level of service. And our room… well, I’ll let the photo speak for itself.
Champagne. Waiting for us. In the room. (I am also a whore for champagne)
Walking out of our room, this was 20 steps down the path:
It’s a bar. ON THE BEACH. I mean, come on. (everyone, wave at Fresh Hubby!)
Friday night was the Blanca Beach party. After drinking margaritas all day, then champagne while getting ready for the night, then switching to beer and sake for Japanese dinner with our FABULOUS and fun friends Robert Evans and Mike Colón, then back to margaritas at the event, I was left looking something like this:
Hot mess.
That’s Bernadette from 14 Stories behind me, hamming it up. She was one of my favorite new friends from the trip – what a hoot! And yes, that’s me on my bag. Because I’m awesome. And vain. or both. Anyway, the point is, I went to bed early that night. Like a boss.
I’ll have more to share about the rest of the conference, the sessions and events, but for now… check out this incredible teaser video by the pimps over at Epic Motion – they really captured the essence of the week… so take a look!
I get it. You’re spending buckets on your wedding and adding the expense of a trip on that hurts your brain. You don’t really travel much. It’s hard to get time off work. So you’re thinking about skipping the honeymoon.
Don’t do it! You need a honeymoon.
Me and a big hole in the ground.
You need a honeymoon because the day before your wedding when you realize you still have more than one carload of crap to haul to the venue and you’re about ten seconds away from a breakdown, a passing moment of excitement about your honeymoon can pull you back from the brink.
You need a honeymoon because “OMG we’re married!” is too powerful a squee to be confined to your usual spaces.
You need a honeymoon because throwing a wedding is hard work and when it is over, you deserve a vacation.
Don’t skip the honeymoon. You don’t have to budget for a ten-day tour of Europe or a stay in a fancy tropical resort. Your honeymoon might be a couple nights in a B&B. But you need some time away after your wedding, even if that time is short and that “away” is not that far.
With that bit of advice, I’m going to get back to my honeymoon. Not the hiking in the Grand Canyon part or the mind-your-own-business part, but the equally important sleeping-in-a-hotel-bed-with-fifty-million-pillows part.
Have you been tempted to skip the honeymoon? Did I or someone similarly wise talk you out of it? Good! Now tell me where you are taking/took your honeymoon!
Whenever I had heard of Disney Weddings. I always imagined it was a wedding in which someone was attempting to chase the childish thrills of their youth. Surely a Disney Wedding was only for someone who still loved the idea of Mickey Mouse greeting guests at the chapel. Boy Was I Wrong! We had the honor of being invited to Disney Weddings 20th Anniversary and while there we had all of our preconceptions dashed. Disney is not about re-creating magical memories of your youth, its about making new ones. No matter your age, no matter your desires, Disney has the rare ability to to make that dream come true.
Before heading into the wedding pavilion we were met by tables and tables of colorful candy. It was buffet of beautiful cavity conjurers.
Comment if you find me in this pic. (Hint: I can’t see you)
We enjoyed a glass of champagne as we made a whole bunch of new friends! The ladies rocked bridal ears as I was pimping the mousy but manly top hat. I have to say that Mickey’s got style.
The Disney flare really started to show when we were greeted by our “hosts” of the evening. Two bundles of energy burst out of the crowd and started hollering about how happy they were that Dana and I had arrived. I am great with faces but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out how I knew these two. But they seemed so affable, entertaining and warm AND they knew my name. I later realized they were a couple of the hundreds of performers you can have be a part of your Disney Wedding. Today we were treated to Franck from Father of the Bride, and Sona from the Incredibles. But how did they know my name?!
These two were so smooth, I didn’t realize they were reading my name tag. (DOH!)
We then headed into the wedding pavilion and were greeted by our real host Disney Wedding’s Development Director Korri McFann. She told us a little about Disney’s newest weddings and honeymoons location in Hawaii. In the immortal words of Liz Lemon, “I want to go to there!”
We all drooled a bit and then she introduced us to a former couple who had the pleasure of being married at Disney World one year ago. And… wait for it… Were having a surprise wedding vow renewal AND WE WE’RE THE GUESTS! Dang, it was like an Oprah moment up in there.
And get ready for another Oprah moment cause here comes Disney’s Celebrity Expert (and tv reality star) DAVID TUTERA! David has designed several wedding themes and styles that couples can choose from, or be inspired by, when planning their Disney Wedding. But enough talk, lets get this re-wedding on the road…
Everyone knows the best way to start a wedding is with the wedding party and… wait wha…. are those… PROFESSIONAL DANCERS dancing down the aisle! Wow, that’s a cool idea. And they were just warming up the crowd because they raced back up the aisle to reveal…
Our blushing bride! There was a sense of fun in the room the entire time and boy could you see it on our bride’s face when she appeared.
She met her groom under the grand arch of the pavilion with the famous Disney Castle in the background. They exchanged vows and the crowd cheered. And to turn it up a notch…
They exited to daytime fireworks! My mom always said when it was sunny but raining, it’s “a monkeys wedding”. So when it’s sunny and there are fireworks you know it’s a Disney Wedding.
Our couple left the pavilion and was greated by their magical Cinderella chariot.
A Cinderella carriage pulled by tiny horses!
And they were off! A magical chariot surely must take them somewhere amazing…
Italy?!?! Well almost, we were whisked away to the world of Epcot. Little did I know the celebration had just begun.
With a lakeside dinner we had a view of the entire world. If felt as if we were in the heart of Venice but with Mexico, Germany and Epcot Center on the horizon. The party was in full swing and with all this world travel the two of us were thirsty…
I really did not think it could get more, awe inspiring, romantic and just plain fun. But Disney had one more trick up their sleeve. A front row seat to one of the most amazing firework displays I have ever seen!
Our amazing friends at Disney Weddings enjoy their job almost as much as we enjoy being their guests.
You might say, “Hunter, that looks awesome but there is no way that that kind of luxury can be Broke-Ass.” Well, Disney Weddings start at $10,000. Since the national average is way over twice that, your dreams becoming a reality suddenly became a little more realistic.
Thanks again to the entire Disney Weddings cast! The enthusiasm, kindness and hospitality you showed us was contagious to everyone we met and everything we did. We can’t wait to come back!
This summer I turned thirty and as the expression goes: “There are only a few times in your life when ya turn thirty.”… Sorry I meant, ” Drink up, ’cause you only turn thirty twice.” Yes, I’ve turned thirty but, I ain’t scuuuuurd, because thanks to my lovely wife, my thirties will be the decade I discovered I LOOOOOVE good wine.
My lovely Broke-Ass Bride surprised me with a thirtieth birthday celebration of a weekend get away to Santa Ynez Valley in Santa Barbra Wine Country with her awesome sister Dawn and brother in-law Wayne. If you aren’t familiar with this little wonderland maybe you’ve heard of California’s famous Sonoma wine country. Well, Santa Ynez is like Sonoma’s li’l sister but is only 2hours up the coast from LA and is best know as the setting for the film Sideways.
This is an ideal location for a low-cost honeymoon, romantic getaway or just a weekend out with friends.We were only there for a 24 hour grape buzz but man, did we pack a lot in. A lot of wine, that is. I could talk about this trip ’till I’m blue in the face, but for your sakes I’ll just give ya my Santa Ynez weekend Top 4!
Family Bonding at its Best
1) Driving up the Pacific Coast Highway in a convertible with the top down. Growing up in New York, I’m not a guy who is into driving for pleasure. I’d go as far as to say that I hate it. For me, driving is just a necessity to get from point A to point B. Give me a train to hop on and I’m there, but my brother in-law is not of the same school. He had a vision of cruising the Pacific Coast Highway with the top down and MAN WAS IT A GOOD IDEA! Cruising with the ocean on one side, hills and farms on the other, and a beautiful blue sky above makes it hard not to adore this planet we have the joy of traversing.
Bro and Sis Driving the Good Life
2) Pea Soup Andersen’s. We stayed at The Pea Soup Andersen’s Inn and with a name like that you know this spot was cozy, cute and a crazy steal with rooms starting at $69/night. Best part about it is that it’s right next door to the famous Pea Soup Andersen’s Restaurant. In the morning we rolled out of bed, waddled next door, and I had the Travelers Breakfast: Eggs, Bacon, Unlimited Pancakes and… PEA SOUP!? Yup, amazing pea soup. Weird choice for breakfast, but an awesome deal and heck, I’m on vacation and need to make up for all those times I’ve had cereal for dinner anyway.
Soup Loved Through the Years
3) The Hitching Post II. When we drove past this little restaurant just off the highway we couldn’t help but notice a full parking lot. When we discovered we had arrived in town so late that most vineyards had closed for the night, we decided to hit this spot up for dinner. We weren’t the only ones and had to wait at the bar for an hour… so we had no choice but split a bottle of the house Saint Rita’s Earth wine, the GREATEST HOUSE WINE I HAVE EVER DRUNK!!! And nothing goes better with this wine than the smoked delights off of the BBQ Grill. We ended up with the best table in the house, situated right in front of a glass panel allowing you to see all the magic the Chef was grilling over woodchips. The grilled artichoke and wine marinated mushrooms were fantastic but the steak… OH GOD THE STEAK! I’m the husband of a vegan and hardly ever eat beef, but wow did I discover the joy of good wine and good steak. In Sideways we see Paul Giamarti finding solace at the bar of the Hitching Post. I don’t see how anyone couldn’t be a little closer to god here.
4) Demetria Estate: If the Hitching Post is somewhere on the path to heaven than Demetria Vineyard must be the pearly gates. We were tipped off by an owner of one of the tasting rooms we visited (I told you we fit in a lot of wine). This vineyard is a bit removed from many of the others, and is appointment only, but usually calling ahead and telling them you are coming is appointment enough. We were buzzed in at the gate and drove up the mountain through field after field of grape vines as we headed to the main house. When we walked up to the front door, a friendly face told us to grab a table outside and met us there with wine glasses. Next thing I knew we were sipping glass after glass of deliciousness in a most heavenly Italian old country setting. As Dana put it, “Did we die on the highway earlier? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure this is heaven.”
Cruising Demetria Estate
So I turned thirty in a little bit of heaven and if my 30s are gonna start off like that, well heck I bet 40 is gonna kick ass!
I’m gonna be tasting a lot more wine (but for the Broke-Ass budget). Have you ever done the wine tasting thang?
Come on now, let’s all save some money! No, not the deprived, wish-I-could-but-I-can’t, poor little poor girl type of saving…. that’s no fun for anyone! Why should we have to sacrifice taste or style in the name of savings? Eff that noise! A budget wedding don’t have to look like no cheap wedding! There’s far too many ways to have your taste and keep it too, and I’m bouts to lay down my secret shopping savings weapons, so you can get your splurge on… without the guilt.
First up…. Group Buying Power!
Sites like SocialBuy, Groupon, Living Social and more are cropping up faster than starbucks joints, and many of the deals they proffer work just as well for weddings as they do for weekends. From manicures and massages to cheap date night dinners and fun summer playtime outings, you can keep these deals to yourself, or give them as gifts to friends, family and bridal party members. They work by maximizing the power of the masses, so sharing these deals with your friends is to your advantage. Most deals score you discounts of 50-70% off. Those numbers make my fingers itch to hit BUY!
Which tees it up for….. Members Only Sales!
On a similar but different note, members-only sites like Gilt Groupe, Rue La La and more sell high-end designer duds, accessories, gifts and more at deep-ass discounts (up to 70%) in limited quantities and for limited runs. This is major jackpot for those have-to-have-’em heels or a rehearsal dress (or suit for the dude) to knock their socks off. You need an invite to join, and the link above is mine to you. (You’re welcome!) But they sell out fast, so check early and often if they’re featuring a designer you adore. Swirl (Daily Candy’s new sample sale site), is now in Beta testing, but looks just as bad-ass as any of ‘em. And now, with the birth of travel-specific sites with the same savings bent like Bonvoyou, (or Gilt’s jetsetter department) you can plan your honeymoon or get your wedding night digs for a deep discount as well.
Next up…. Promo Code Mayhem!
Listen closely. Before you hit “buy” on ANY online purchase, you best make sure you’ve checked out Retail Me Not which aggregates the best codes for savings like percentages off and free shipping. Just type in the name of the site you’re buying on, and pull up the most recent promo and coupon codes available. Then just plug into your purchase page, and reap the rewards. They even made a special wedding coupon book, to help brides find more ways to save! This one is a no-brainer. If you don’t do this religiously, I can’t help you.
While we’re online…. SEARCH for SAVINGS!
How cool is this? Swagbucks.com is a search engine that rewards you for roaming the web! Every time you search, you earn yourself “swag bucks”, redeemable for gift certificates and all kinds of stuff. If you shop through their shop-and-earn site, you can rack up even more swagbucks. Trade in your cell phone or fill out surveys if you just can’t get enough. Rewards for websurfing? A brides dream! Broke-Ass Bonus: Sign up with the code ‘SwagBride’ to get 20 bonus swagbucks, which you can add to the 30 free bucks you get for joining. That’s 50 free swagbones to play with, just for getting started. Awwww yeah, you’re welcome.
So, saving some green while shopping online is pretty sweet. I think we can all agree on that, yes? But check this out: Most of these sites have bomb-ass referral programs so by spreading the savings to your peeps, you earn more for yourself. Its a win-win, you share the love, you get the love. And you’ll want to share the love. Heck, I’m doing it right now
Happy shopping, and happier saving! Got a secret weapon for savings? Share the love in the comments!
And by “do the nasty,” I mean HAVE SEX. Personally, for us, the answer to that question is an absolute YES. Even if we are too drunk and exhausted to stand up, and we have to be carried into our hotel room by our wedding party… and have to hire an exotic in-house fluffer named Esmeralda, wedding night sexual intercourse will most definitely take place. I probably won’t remember it the next day, but when do I ever? (ok, I’m kidding).
I once read a blurb in a bridal magazine that discussed this very topic. Aside from the fact that I was totally, but pleasantly surprised that a bridal magazine would discuss said topic so openly, I was even more surprised by the general consensus. Believe it or not, a lot of couples do NOT do the deed on their wedding night. I, for one, was shocked. So that lead me to generate a little poll. A sexified lil poll. This poll is directed at both married and yet to be married folk. So if you’re willing to share, go ahead and weigh in:
And if you’re feelin’ extra brave and awesome, please share your stories and opinions on Wedding Night Sex in the comments below. This could get interesting…
The Green-Ass Bride & Groom have struck again! Dishing our best tips to help you save more green while being green, yo, and saving green on your green wedding!
Hey, they look familiar!
Come over and check out our article in the new Spring Issue of Eco-Beautiful Weddings E-zine, laying down some bad-ass Eco/budget-friendly Honeymoon tips:
