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In last week’s episode of Broke-Ass TV, we covered bachelorette parties… but we can’t neglect our main men and their requisite dude-bonding debauchery! Check out Grandmaster Fresh lay down the 411 on bad-ass bachelor party planning!
Nice tips, eh? (and the host is pretty cute, too!)
If planning a bachelor party is just too daunting, or you’re stuck in a rut and have a little extra budget to burn, there is one other alternative. Our buddies James and Nadine run Firefly Events, locally, and they’re just one of many cool bachelor/ette party planning businesses popping up all over the place.
Got any other stag night advice or ideas to share? Hit us up in the comments!
… and don’t forget to subscribe to our youtube channel for all the most up-to-date episodes of Broke-Ass TV and other fun videos we might post along the way Thanks!
WARNING: PG-13 Rating (at least)! This is a real life Bachelor Party Experience. Do not continue to read if you are easily offended by testosterone driven stupidity or crude immaturity.
When a man is smart enough to commit his entire life to an amazing woman, she (hopefully) forgives him for being unbelievably dumb for one last night… This is the story of that night.
A momentary sliver of morning light slaps my pupils in the face (What? It’s possible!) and I see a glimpse of a room. A room I don’t recall ever entering. My eyes open again, and as I my pupils begin to dilate,e the only thought that goes through my mind is, “Where the heck am I?”
All of a sudden an image flashes through my mind:
And it hits me like a wad of dollar bills: I’M IN CHICAGO. LUCKY’S BACHELOR PARTY WAS LAST NIGHT! The bachelor party that I have been planning all summer because I proudly hold the title of Best Man at my Brother-In-law’s Wedding (that’s Dana’s bro yo!) I must be at Lucky’s BFFs Michelle & Todd’s house… but how? I think we began here but I don’t remember coming back?
As I stumble down the stairs to the first floor living room I am met by an expression of shock and horror…
Is it a travesty or could it be the after math of one of the funnest bachelor parties to hit Chicago? If only I could remember…
“Oh my gosh!” I think.”I better let my wife know I survived”. But as reach for my phone to dial BAB’s number, I suddenly remember my pledge to take lots of pictures. The phone. The phone is the answer. As I click to the camera app I know in my heart of hearts that the only way to truly know how I got here, is to start at the beginning.
Hot Doug’s, of course! I went down with Dana’s fam to eat at our favorite place on earth… Hot Doug’s. To begin to speak of this magical place of hot dog wonderment is to begin a whole other post. Let’s leave it at that. There we met up with fellow groomsman/Bro-in-law Hooter*. After hot dog merriment Dana, Hooter and I went to Todd & Michelle’s house, where we began to create the magical land of Porno-copia.
A land where animals fly…
And people of all backgrounds get together for a laugh.
Once we finished decorating, Dana taking off with her sister, and Hooter and I headed over to pick up the Bachelor himself. After sharing a cocktail with him and my future sister-in-law, we headed back to Pornocopia, and were greeted by the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Matt, Steve, John, Tim, Todd & Michelle had gotten the party started. Yeah I said Michelle, we’re a 21st Century Bachelor party! And Michelle brings the party stronger than any fella I know… except maybe Hooter, but lucky us… we were harnessing both of their party powers tonight.
I know we wanted to start the party with something classy so what did we do? Oh yeah…
A game of Flippy Cup anyone?Don’t mind if we do!
I think next we played pin the tail on the donkey. Wait No, it was…
Now this may not make sense but, (ahem) I feel like someone came over to give dance lessons (y’know, dance lessons)… but strangely, the next photo I have is us at the show Bye Bye Liver: The Drinking Play. Man oh man was that a mistake. I should have listened to James at Firefly Events. He and wife Nadine know everything there is when it comes to planning a bachelor party, and he told me to go to Point Break Live, but nooooo…. I had to go rogue. While there was no stopping The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen from having a good time, the box office manager of Bye Bye Liver certainly tried. I’ll save the details of what happened for a post entitled, “What Not To Do When Representing a Business” but let’s just say the most entertaining part of Bye Bye Liver is when the Box Office Manager starts threatening you when you go to the bathroom. But enough about the ego of an idiot, let’s get back to party. After the show I think we went to a ranch…
Wait that’s not a ranch! It’s Lucky riding the mechanical bull at Hogs and Honeys. It was a party fo’ sho’. Bachelor’s and Bachelorettes were riding bulls, shots we’re being poured down peoples throats by waitresses on tables, and Hooter and Michelle were dancing on the bar making it rain!
Then Todd lead the charge to another bar in Bucktown… but before I knew it, we must have passed out back at Todd & Michelle’s.
It was an exhausting night for our bachelor
Based off this pic and where I found my toothbrush I’m guessing this brings us back to where we are the next morning. I honestly can’t believe I don’t hurt more all over but based off of the half eaten burrito on the breakfast table I’m guessing we stopped for food on the way home. I just hope Lucky had as good a time at the party as I think he did. Oh wait there’s one more pic on this camera from the end of the night…
Oh yeah, BACHELOR PARTY SUCCESS!
*Nickname inspired by Hooter the elephant in the radical badical Michael Jackson short, Captain EO. Hooter!
Have you ever been left lightheaded, and the only thing that you can manage to get out of your dangling mouth is, “……… ………. wow!”? Well that is exactly what happened to me, Dana and our friend Johnny when we went to see Cirque du Soleil‘s KA in a little place called Las Vegas.
Cirque shows are a great alternative bachelor/bachelorette party idea. I went to Vegas for a close friend’s bachelor party early last year. On the first night we were giddy gents and went to see the obligatory burlesque show, which was fun, naturally. The second night we went to Cirque’s Love. The first night I clapped and chuckled. The second night I found myself teary-eyed, saying “It’s so beautiful. It’s just so friggin’ beautiful.” Now imagine learning that at a bachelor party: Seeing half naked ladies is fun but something truly beautiful and awe inspiring is a thing called Love.
A little while back, when we were attending The BlogWorld expo in Vegas, the delightful people of Cirque du Soleil gifted us tickets to KA while we were in town. If you’ve ever seen a Cirque show, you know that there was only one thing to say: ” uh… Yes Yes Please!”
If you haven’t seen a Cirque show you HAVE to. As an artist it fills me with pride and wonder, and as an eternal kid it fills me with excitement and joy. With every show, Cirque always takes the human body’s ability and the mind’s imagination, and pushes them to the limit. The touring shows put a fantastically deluxe spin on the classic big tent circus, but when in Vegas (with the luxury of a permanent venue), they create an experience unlike anything you can imagine.
The creatures that greet you the moment you walk into the theatre make KA fun before it has even begun. Then you nestle into your (very cozy and oversized) seats, each equipped with speakers in the headrest so every spectator can enjoy the sounds, music and ambiance in surround sound.
Shortly into the show a floating stage, covered in sand appears. Out of the sand a human-sized crab and turtle popped out and start dancing and playing. Its just one of many fun moments that leave you completely taken off guard and wondering what comes next. Once the scene comes to a close, the stage starts to tilt forward. I thought “Wow, it totally looks like that sand could fall ri… holy crap all that sand is falling off!” The entire stage went completely vertical! A couple of actors came out and made the most beautiful and remarkable shadow puppets, which projected onto the now vertical stage; but apparently the scary creature that suddenly appeared in the aisle next to me hates shadow puppets, because he and his entire posse started shooting arrows at the couple, which lodged into the vertical platform. Then a huge chase began and people started scrambling straight up the platform, using the arrows as climbing pegs. But as if things weren’t crazy enough, the platform started spinning. A thrilling and chilling chase/battle ensued with people and creatures flying hundreds of feet off of the spinning platform that treats its victims like pinballs.
We jumped out of our seats more times than I can count, and cried, laughed, ooohed and ahhhed sometimes simultaneously! It was an amazing experience. One that any artist dreams he could take credit for, and every spectator wishes they had the skills to star in.
To envelop an audience in an unearthly experience, exciting them each step of the way, is a gift that only the highest form of art can create. So if you’re in Sin City and in the mood to experience more than just sin (there is merit to that, too) but want to see the beauty of life and art, check out a KA at the MGM Grand, and say, “….. …… wow.”
Thanks!
