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You’re a team now, so why does it seem like you’re doing all of the wedding planning while your manly counterpart plans out his game-watching schedule for the week? One way to get him engaged in wedding planning is with a copy of Be the Man: The Man Registry Guide for Grooms.
The Man Registry is the web’s leading wedding resource for grooms and groomsmen. Chris Easter, one of the co-founders of the site, has compacted all of this imformation into an irreverent read-it-on-the-toilet-size guide to the big decisions and obstacles that men will face leading up to, during, and after the big day. In addition to tons of practical advice, the book is peppered with lighthearted stories, helping readers learn from the insights and missteps of all the grooms who came before them.
Armed with a copy of Be the Man: The Man Registry Guide for Grooms, grooms will stop feeling lost and overwhelmed by seemingly inscrutable wedding etiquette and traditions, and will be able to step up to the plate, be part of the process, and own the day: after all, it’s a hugely important day in his life, too!
Day-um you guys! I swear, these posts keep getting more and more delicious. This week, we have Jennifer and Daniel (aka: Dannifer) and their gooorgeous engagement shoot. They hired a photog who wasn’t available for their wedding date and DID IT UP, yo. Since they didn’t really plan on posing for wedding pics, they went all out for this rockin’ e-sesh. Get out your fans, cuz this one is a hot one. I’ll let Jennifer take it away:
Our inspiration was vintage Hollywood and most of the photos were taken at the location of the wedding: Hollywood Forever. We chose Laurie because she is a band/music photographer primarily, and we are both in the music industry and we fell in love with her photos after seeing a shoot she did for a friends band.
She couldn’t shoot the actual wedding because her birthday was our wedding date, 11-11-11 She spent a lot of time and prep with us from picking out clothes, hair/makeup, scouting locations, to all the small details, and was very affordable and super easy/accommodating.
We didn’t want conventional “engagement” (or wedding) photos because those are always super lame looking. We wanted something more unique, fashiony, magazine, candid looking. We didn’t want to spin in circles and have our hair blowing in the wind; so we opted for cool images at the wedding location instead. We didn’t do “posed” wedding photos, so this was our chance to get cool shots together.
Whew. *fans self* If this is what their engagement shoot holds for us, I can’t wait to see the wedding. Stay tuned, Broke-Asses! xoxo
The Broke-Ass Bride is always looking for rad-tastic Broke-Ass weddings to feature. Interested? You can submit via Two Bright Lights or by emailing us directly!
Do you often feel like you’re forgetting something? Well that kind of describes my wedding planning experience, in a nutshell – a long, jerky highway of mental checkpoints, like: “Did I send X and Y wedding invitations?” or “What am I supposed to be doing right now?” or “Was I surfing Pinterest for a reason?”
I frequently feel like I’m totally omitting essential elements of the wedding like RINGS, or CAKE, or a MARRIAGE LICENSE (That last one is more essential than most). And despite having two degrees in WRITING, I still don’t jot down notes or leave myself little reminders everywhere. Or read contracts, for that matter! That’s all on my fiance John.
So while wedding planning has been totally fun, it’s also been just a a teensy bit stressful for me AT ALL TIMES. In order to deter this steady undercurrent of mild mental anguish, I’ve made a very extensive (yet surprisingly basic) wedding checklist. It seems almost too basic to merit posting, but I just KNOW there are other brides like me out there who could totally use this.
These are the things you need to get married. I’ve put an asterisk by the things that are legally necessary.
I'm hungry for braaaaaaaiiiiiiiinnn...cake.
A Groom/Partner* – don’t leave them in the car! You are legally required to have “two consenting people” of “sufficient mental capacity”. Legally, you don’t even have to like each other that much, you just have to be OK with the idea of marriage…
The Date – it’s an abstract concept, but it’s the first thing you have to get nailed down, along with finding…
The Venue – whether it’s a courthouse, an old railroad station, a Scottish castle, or the great outdoors!
The Dress – SQUEE! Now move on to…
The Invitations – even if you’re just sending an e-vite, you should probably let people know where this shindig is happening, and not just rely on word of mouth…or facebook.
A Wedding Party – made up of your nearest and dearest! Let those people know well in advance that they are expected to stand up for you on your big day. AND that they’ll be required to NOT look, you know, how they do in everyday life.
A Caterer - is someone you’ll definitely want to get in touch with SOON if you want to serve people food (and maybe BOOZE?), and not just…
The Cake – which is ok too! Be warned, not all caterers do wedding cakes. And not all cakeries do catering…
A Photographer - couples on a serious budget can just buy a few hours of their time, or just rely on their friends to provide the lasting memories. Couples who are DEADLY SERIOUS about photography should splurge here, and maybe even pony up for…
A Videographer – a lot of newlyweds say they regret NOT getting one of these. I’m just putting that out there.
The Flowers – are another prime opportunity to scale back and save a little cash. If you’re getting married on a beach, or in a garden, why bother? Just spring for some nice bouquets. But if big ol’ blossoms are totally your thing, go crazy. I myself am partial to anemones. Thanks, Pinterest!
The Officiant* – is absolutely necessary to the wedding ceremony. THOUGH there are a few states where you don’t need one. But odds are, you don’t live in one of those states. If you don’t have a preferred preacher, pastor, or yogi, there are all manner of lovely people who are professional wedding officiants. Also, basically ANYONE can become an ordained minister online (EDIT: though according to our resident wedding planner Liz, it might not be legal to have them officiate a wedding in your state)
Music – is easy enough – just bring your iPod! Always imagined yourself being serenaded by a string quartet? Be prepared to line a poor musician’s pocket with some serious coin.
The Rings – could easily be forgotten somewhere by someone at any point during the wedding day. A fact which terrifies me.
The Marriage License* – FYI, you can’t get one of these bad boys day-of. Don’t wait till the Friday before your wedding, either. Take care of this several days if not several weeks before. You don’t have to sign it until your wedding day. (EDIT: Liz rings in again – apparently some officiants CAN issue a marriage license day-of…for a price.)
Witnesses* – are those people you sent wedding invitations to. You did remember to send them invitations, didn’t you?! Fortunately, you usually only need two people to show for this whole thing to be legit.
I STILL feel like I’m forgetting something? If so, PLEASE let me know, brides!
Dan Chen is the man. Ask anyone in either Dana’s or my extended family and they will not stop singing his praises. Many of you already know of his amazing talent as a wedding photographer, but you may not know that he is just as generous as he is gifted. Since the moment we met Dan he has been nothing but kind and giving. Oh yeah, and Dan is a pretty awesome guy to simply hang out with too. I wrote this song and put this music video together to thank Dan for his generous donation to Dishing For Dana, which has helped Dana destroy her medical debt.
We shot the video during Hurricane Irene in Astoria Queens. All trains and bridges were shut down and we weren’t going anywhere. So when I said, “Lets make a music video.”, my best from from high school Elliot Villar and his (also kinda my) little brother David were ready to play. So a big thanks to My Brothers Villar!
The Music? Ah, the music. K.U. aka Kustoo aka Jacques Slade is my producer (and one of my favorite rappers). I’ll let the awesomeness of Jacques work speak for him, but I will just add this: There is really no way to overstate how lucky I am to have such talented, kind and giving people in my life.
I hope you enjoy this, ’cause I’m happy to say there’s a few more “thank you raps” coming at you soon…
O.K. I’m gonna stop babbling so that you can rock out to this bit of fun:
In last week’s episode of Broke-Ass TV, we covered bachelorette parties… but we can’t neglect our main men and their requisite dude-bonding debauchery! Check out Grandmaster Fresh lay down the 411 on bad-ass bachelor party planning!
Nice tips, eh? (and the host is pretty cute, too!)
If planning a bachelor party is just too daunting, or you’re stuck in a rut and have a little extra budget to burn, there is one other alternative. Our buddies James and Nadine run Firefly Events, locally, and they’re just one of many cool bachelor/ette party planning businesses popping up all over the place.
Got any other stag night advice or ideas to share? Hit us up in the comments!
… and don’t forget to subscribe to our youtube channel for all the most up-to-date episodes of Broke-Ass TV and other fun videos we might post along the way Thanks!
I was wondering if you could suggest some budget friendly options for suit/tux rentals. My fiancé is planning on buying a suit, something along the lines of a skinny fit modern suit with a vest and all. We set aside a few hundred dollars in our budget for him to buy a suit, but we can possibly ask his groomsmen to spend that much money on their suit! Is there any place other then Men’s Wearhouse to get a modern looking suit to rent? Help please!
I did a bit of research and here are some affordable suit options:
H&M – They don’t have an e-commerce site so I can’t link to any suits, but H&M has got some fashionable and trendy pieces for men. Check them out!
Macy’s - Wait for sales and keep an eye out for coupons, because we got my husband’s suit for a steal during a sale/friends and family discount combo. They’ve got all different cuts, colors and fits, and vests come separately.
Kenneth Cole Reaction, $150
Michael by Michael Kors, $225
Syms - If there is a Syms near you, I highly recommend checking it out. It’s not the most glamorous store, but you can find a suit at a great bargain. Again, they don’t have an e-commerce site so I can’t link to particular products, but it’s worth a trip to the store!
Kohl’s - Surprisingly enough, they have a lot of suits for the groomsman on a budget. This suit by Apt. 9 is only $150, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg there!
You could also consider getting suits made. I can’t speak to their quality or service firsthand, but I’ve heard good things about Tailor4Less and StudioSuits.
Good luck, and please come back and let us know what you ended up with!
To be fair, I’m not sure if this counts as DIY, but it took a whole day of my life and I did bang by shin up pretty badly while lunging for a pair of pants so I ended up with a battle scar. From what I can tell, that’s all the criteria for DIY projects. (No? You don’t look like you buy it. Alright, then you leave me no choice… Classic Misdirection with Cuteness it is…)
Look, everyone! Look at my cute kitties!
{Elephant!}
{Moose!}
Now that that has been magically solved: let me tell you all about getting the groomsmen outfitted last weekend. (Grab your antacids.)
Now, getting my girls into their outfits was a mild nightmare, but I expected that. I am a sorority girl, you see, and where that experience taught me the beauty of true friendship and the valuable life-skill of compromise, empowerment and win-win negotiating, it also taught me that getting seven women outfitted is as mess-free as nailing Jell-O to a tree.
But the girls… the girls ended up being easy! And if you tell a group of girls you don’t care what accessories they wear as long as “cone-bra” isn’t on the list, you know they’ll all show up looking absolutely fabulous. Basically, I got the girls to J. Crew and 72 hours later my girls were all outfitted. Hallelujah!
The guys on the other hand! HOLY CRAP! The term “herding cats” springs to mind. I knew going in that it would have to be quick and dirty, because these exceptionally sweet men are the eat-wings-and-play-video-games type. I knew I had twenty, maybe thirty minutes to get them all fitted before their eyes glossed over and they were only capable of pouting and/or communicating solely via farting noises. I used to work in men’s fashion, so I’m not sure how this caught me by surprise, but even with a simple groomsmen getup, there are several thousand pieces. {Also, The Groom was a lot more adamant than I was that the men be uniform.}
But The Groom didn’t know what he wanted them to look like, what materials felt OK, or how thick the ties should be. They just had to be The Same, and he told me affectionately with a kiss on the forehead that trusted me to make that happen. Which is why I hauled him out of bed at 9AM on Saturday and insisted that we did a lot of running around and price-checking before the guys even showed up. Because if you can’t be drunk, you need to be prepared. The mission was simple: white shirts, navy pants, green and navy tie, brown shoes.
Now, we’re not made of money. Our wedding party? Also not made of money. Going into outfitting both the men and the women, I wanted to find as many items on sale or on promotion as possible. Spread the savings around, right? I also get this insane high when I save more than I spend. Bargain shopping? It’s like a sport for me.
A contact sport.
We cruised the mall {Macy’s, Kenneth Cole, Jonhston & Murphy and Bostonian} looking for the best price for a good-quality product. Kenneth Cole ended up being our winner– Showlaces took the gold, with a markdown price of $50 {instead of the original $145}. The store manager, of course, wouldn’t let us put the shoes on hold for the guys to actually come try. Be advised: Sale items go quick and most stores won’t hold them. To combat this, you have to be willing to do one of two things: 1. Tolerate seven antsy men as you try to find one shoe, on sale, in all their sizes or 2. Go alone and be prepared to buy all the shoes for the men if you find something that works.
We opted for route #2, but make sure you ask about the return policy. We got lucky; all the shoes fit and the men won’t turn back into pumpkins at midnight. Or something.
Then we headed out to Syms, which is like the holy mecca of bargain shopping for men. It’s last season’s designer suits for closeout prices. I was skeptical at first, being someone who was young and stupid and whose parents paid her credit card bills for her first year of college. I expected the brands I saw there to be “Tommy Hillfighter” or “Kenny Charcoal”. But no. The Groom walked out with this suit from Tommy Hilfiger {which, I must say, looked disarmingly handsome on him} and paid less than half of the retail cost. Cha-Ching!
We ran into two small problems. The first, was that the guys were all actually two sizes bigger than what they told James, so all the legwork I made him do earlier that morning was totally moot; all the sizes had to be pulled all over again once we showed up with the crew. Because of this, we bumped into issue #2. The only thing we ended up having to compromise on: The groomsmen ended up with two different brands of navy pants. The store didn’t have one brand in all the sizes in-stock, so I spent forty five minutes digging through racks — which, yes, was frustrating– to find them similarly colored and textured pants. I slipped half of the groomsmen one brand, and the other half a different branding, begging them in a whisper to please not tell The Groom, hoping he wouldn’t notice. {He didn’t.}
{Proof that the brands match.}
Once we had all the sizes, though, and the guys were all dressed and it was time for them to get measured, there were a couple things I wished I had known. I am here today to pass these nuggets of knowledge on to you.
1. Budget stores mean budget tailors. They’re amazing at what they do– tailoring. Their customer service leaves a little to be desired. In a men’s store, you are not The Bride. You are the pain-in-the-ass chick who keeps asking for the guys to get cuffs hemmed into the pants {because so help you God, your groom just decided that’s what he wants}. Remember when you went to get your gown? And everyone told you how pretty you were? And your friends all fawned over you and there was free champagne? Well, wake up, sister. Bargain shopping for men is more like attending a minor-league hockey game. It smells a little weird, the language is more colorful and if you find your shoes sticking to the floor, you don’t want to look down. It’s worth it, though, when you get to count all the money you saved everyone.
2. Getting fitted means being touched.Warn your groomsmen. I didn’t warn mine, and have hysterical photographs of their facial expressions from when the tailor stood behind them and bear-hugged them to measure their waists. Then he hiked one of the guy’s pants all the way up and that poor groomsman lit up like a Christmas tree. I thought it was a rip-roarin’ good time, but it wouldn’t have hurt anyone if I had let the guys know, they should expect the tailor to be in all of their personal space. {We’re the first in our group of friends to be getting married, so The Guys had never really been fitted for suits before.}
All in all, it was worth it. I’m still deciding which Tommy Hilfiger tie they’ll end up wearing, but the sale section is amazing right now in their online shop — I suggest checking it out! They’re going to be responsible for finding their own white shirts {until The Groom decides that those all need to be the same brand, too, and then it’ll be *my job* once more }, so they’re on their own for now as far as price hunting goes, but my numbers don’t lie.
They each paid $50 for shoes and around $32 for pants that would normally be $145 and $150, respectively. The ties I’m ordering are on promotion for $21 instead of their normal $42.90. That’s a total savings of $234.90/groomsman. Multiply that by 6 {which I did, because it made me feel good} and I saved them all, collectively, $1,409.40, give or take. {And that doesn’t even include The Groom’s savings, which were over $400.}
I felt like a champion, and I know the guys appreciated the extra legwork I put in before they were even coaxed out shopping with promises of beer and grilled meats as rewards. A successfully savvy bride is the girl who puts her ducks in a row while they’re still tied up, so they can’t run anywhere.
No, wait… That’s not right…
In all seriousness, the best way to get your guys suited up without paying a personal shopper is to plan ahead with bargain hunting. It keeps the guys from getting antsy, and helps you keep costs down to a minimum. A prepared bride is a bride who doesn’t have to stand, silently panicked, in the middle of the menswear section, staring at a $750 price tag as the groomsmen try to lift her future husband upside down by his ankles, just to see if the outfit gives him optimal kegstand capabilities.
You can outfit all your groomsmen without breaking anyone’s bank. You just have to do your homework. As always, don’t hesitate to email or comment with questions or concerns– or, please, with your own funny Outfit the Groomsmen stories! And don’t forget… We’re all in this together!
In 2007 our homey Chris Easter co-founded a little site called TheManRegistry.com. In just 3 years it has become the web’s leading source for groomsmen gifts, content and wedding vendor listings geared to the groom’s perspective. His site is so bad-ass that Chris was recently named one of the top 30 entrepreneurs under the age of 30 by Inc. Magazine. Chris is a good friend of ours and we are very psyched to have him share some of his planning wisdom with your man. After you read some of his tips here, you can check out more of his blogging flava’ at GroomsAdvice.com.
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If the last few years in the wedding industry have taught me anything, it’s that grooms are flat-out trying to shed the “innocent bystander” tag that they’ve been unfairly assigned over the years. Let’s get one thing straight. Grooms have always cared about their weddings. However, not until recent years, has the wedding industry and blogosphere picked up on it. With the influx of real groom bloggers, more companies directly marketing to grooms and more and more guys customizing various aspects of their wedding – the secret is out.
I’m often asked by brides about the best areas of wedding planning for their guy to take charge of. In no particular order, here are a few favorites:
Simply put: guys dig cars. And whether it’s a vintage Rolls Royce, a stretch Escalade or dual crotch rockets, there are literally countless options for being creative with the choice of car that will carry you away after the wedding.
Planning the Rehearsal Dinner
This is, of course, a very broad topic. The rehearsal dinner is traditionally a responsibility of the groom and his family. It’s also a perfect opportunity for his inner-event planner to shine. When I got married, I dove headfirst into the rehearsal dinner because I really wanted to leave a personal mark on the wedding festivities. We held the event at The Boulevard Brewery in Kansas City (my favorite beer) and had the event catered by Jack Stack BBQ (my favorite BBQ). The event was a hit because everyone in attendance appreciated the effort that was put into personalizing it… and it was a hell of a lot of fun! I challenge all grooms to aim for the same.
Paperwork and legalities
Guys are the responsible ones, right? OK OK. I’m a guy and I can even say that this statement is almost never true. However, we do like thinking we’re being responsible and important. That’s why handling the organization, filing and paying of all pertinent legal documents and fees is a great job for the groom. The business of getting married can require quite a paper trail – so be aware of your local/state rules on marriage licenses. Other topics to research include the changing of name(s), adding your spouse’s name to necessary accounts, agreements and whether or not your church requires pre-marital counseling.
Wedding website/blog
Managing the wedding website or wedding blog is another unique way for today’s tech-savvy grooms to get involved in planning. Even if he’s not a programming wiz, there are countless websites that offer free wedding website templates where couples can post their wedding info. Some grooms have even taken it a step further by starting blogs that detail their foray into the wedding planning world.
Entertainment
Not to stress you out, but wedding entertainment will make or break the reception. This is why it’s key to hire the right DJ or band. Grooms will often step up to the plate and take on the responsibility of interviewing/auditioning potential vendors. Why? Because it’s fun. In most cases, you can actually go and /listen to the DJ/band perform. Grooms are natural partiers, so it’s often easy for them to look at a performer once and envision how they will handle the crowd at your wedding. My advice to brides: just let him go with it. Us men know what we’re doing.
Of course I always recommend the bride and groom sharing responsibilities and discussing all of those fun little details – but the above list is a great starting point for doling out responsibilities. I hope it comes in handy. Cheers!
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What are your thoughts on these or other tasks that can be delegated to the groom? Let us know in the comments section below.
Thanks!
