The antidote to a cheap wedding, The Broke-Ass Bride delivers bad-ass wedding inspiration to turn your budget wedding into a kick-ass and totally unique wedding… because its not about how much you spend, its how you spend it!
I wasn’t going to say anything, I really wasn’t. But then I saw another blog post about a couple that had a $10,000 wedding. I had one myself, so I’m drawn to these stories like a moth to a flame. How did they do it? How did they get more bang for their buck with a budget wedding? Was it the same way I did? Well, no.
You, too, have seen this story before. They got married in her grandpa’s barn in Nebraska, with centerpieces made of flowers from his mother’s garden, and had a luncheon buffet for 250 catered by the local barbecue joint that her uncle owns. His grandmother made the cake. The bride wore her mother’s altered wedding dress (altered by her mother) and the groom pulled out the suit he wore for his high school graduation. And since they saved so much money on their wedding, they were able to hire the best wedding photographer in Lincoln, for the princely sum of $800. Nebraska, you know.
See what I mean? Not everyone has these options. In fact, most people don’t.
I had this conversation with another wedding pro a few months ago. A $10,000 wedding for 100 guests is a very popular goal these days. $100 per guest seems extravagant, even. If you don’t include renting the venue. Or feeding them what usually comes to a three-course meal. With a bar. Oh, and tax and tip (known in the Wedding World as the “service charge”). I want to be clear so I don’t get yelled at: A $10,000 wedding is totally possible, but there’s work and patience involved in order to make it happen. Everyone’s two favorite words, right?
So, how did I do it?
When you’ve got a limited amount of money to spend, the first thing you need to do is decide what’s really important to you. There were just a few things that I wanted at my wedding: Having our families and best friends on the face of the planet there. I wanted to wear a strapless fluffy princess dress. Bouquets of Black Magic roses. Black bridesmaid dresses. And Zane and I both wanted to eat steak. And that was pretty much it. I figured it would be at a hotel, because most of the weddings I’d attended had been in hotels , and I wasn’t really particular as to which one. The only other weddings I’d been to were in historic buildings in D.C. and as we all know, L.A. doesn’t have any of those (I was so young).
We had a lot of “Options You May Not Have”, the first being that this was almost seven years ago, when stuff was a little bit cheaper. The second is that I’d been an event planner since Clinton’s first term in office, so I knew what questions to ask to get the answers I needed. In the interest of full disclosure, there were only 50 guests at our wedding, which meant less money spent on invites, and way less money spent on dinner. We got married the weekend after Valentine’s Day, in the middle of winter, and our venue (ironically, an historic art-deco hotel ) was eager to give us a great deal in order to book it. I found a bakery at a bridal show that only charged $2.25 per slice. My father in-law owned a candy-distribution company, and we asked him if we could have a big batch to put in little Chinese take-out boxes and give away as favors. He was delighted, and one of my favorite memories is watching everyone open up their boxes and start trading candy with each other.
Options that you do have? I rented my wedding dress and my veil. I got my shoes on sale at Macys. I found the bridesmaid dresses at Windsor Fashions for $50 each (no, they didn’t wear them again). I walked down the street from our apartment to the closest flower shop and asked for very simple, one-flower type arrangements and bouquets. My wedding rings are a vintage set from the ’40s that Zane bought in D.C., and I went to the local jewelry district in L.A. to have a solid gold band hand-made for him for $300, which would be somewhere between $400-500 today.
But it took time to find all of these things, and I lucked out on a lot of them. Sunset Tower was on my way to work, and I must have passed it about 50 times before I looked up one day, wondered how much it would cost, and called. Same thing with the florist, and same thing with the dress rental place. So, note to you: If there’s a possible option, don’t assume it won’t work. Ask.
So, what “other options” do you have to meet your wedding budget goals? Where have you lucked out so far?
This Week’s Wedding Deals
Ann Taylor Brings the Pretty
Another clothing store is jumping into Wedding World, so say Thank You. Ann Taylor is bringing the pretty with a new line of gowns, starting at only $300.
DIY Wedding Stationery Engines, Activate!
Feterie, bringer of all stationery both modern and lovely (like this one below), is participating in the two week-long Paper Carnival. Each day of the carnival features a new and fabulous etsy.com stationary store, and you know etsy always has the deals. Go to the Paper Carnival’s Facebook page to get started. I’ve already “liked” it, how about you?
Project Wedding is holding a Budget Savvy contest and dishing up big-ass Amazon gift cards for the most creative broke-ass entries – up to $500! So what are you waiting for? PS: you’re welcome!
Lulu.com is offering an exclusive discount to Broke-Ass Bride readers, for 25% off a Photo Book purchase. Enter the code brokebrideat checkout to receive the discount. The offer is valid until July 31st, and has a maximum savings of $100.
Happy Fourth of July and I’ll See You At the End of the Aisle,
I have a wedding mantra. One that I believe has kept me sane and grounded during this crazy journey that is planning a wedding. Any time I feel the WIC pressure, I say this to myself: “Stop trying to be anti-traditional and just be you.” This mantra has encouraged us to make wedding-related decisions based on what we truly want our day to be like. It has propelled us to follow our hearts – even when our brains have told us different. But through all of this focus on making decisions based on what we want, and not what the rest of the world/wedding industry/guests expect to see, I have sincerely neglected the visual inspiration that goes along with it.
The Internet is flooded with perfect-looking wedding inspiration boards… with perfectly matching colors… and perfectly styled tables… and beautiful white dresses… and pristine bridal parties. These boards are beautiful, don’t get me wrong. But I want to see an inspiration board where there isn’t exactly one set color scheme. Or one where the bride isn’t wearing white. Or one that doesn’t showcase perfectly designed tables with professional-looking centerpieces. These boards were what made me think I needed to have a perfectly styled wedding with all the traditional trimmings. Which in the end, was NOT what my partner and I wanted. And again, don’t get me wrong; those inspiration boards are awesome — but ultimately, for us, those perfect boards steered our wedding into a direction that 1. we didn’t want and 2. couldn’t afford. So I wanted to mix it up a bit. And that’s when I decided to come up with “The ‘Just Be You’ Inspiration Board Series.”
Board #1 plays with lots of colors, inspiring you to not feel the need to tie yourself down to a palette with 2 or 3 distinct colors (this will also save you money and frustration). This board also focuses on alternatives to traditional catering, transportation, attire, and dessert. Check it out:
Ring a ding ding. When I came across Tina H. Dee, who handcrafts bad-ass alternative, affordable unique wedding rings and custom gifts that your wedding party will be thrilled to rock. I took one peek at her etsy site and started writing this post. Its, like, broke-ass to the max.
Perfect for your unfussy fiance(e), or your own unfussy finger, these rings and things start at around $30, don’t go much higher than $150, and many are customizable. Personalizing rings and gift jewelry with people’s names, special dates or quotes is a bonus that even broke-asses can get behind!
This ring set below is $68. Yup, that’s right. And its gawgeous.
People. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Etsy is where its AT!
The term “bridal shoes” CREEPS.ME.OUT. Why, you ask? Well, let’s start with, “words that come to mind when I hear the term ‘bridal shoes’”: uncomfortable, dated, blocky, stiff, bright white, in-yo-face, blind-me satin. So yes, CREEPY. Fear not though, brides! I’m hear to tell you how to find cheap wedding shoes that don’t look cheap!
The quintessential "creep me out bridal shoes."
I know things have changed lately in bridal footwearland, thanks to brands like Badgley Mischka and Pour la Victoire. But letsgetserious. Many of us cannot afford the $200+ pricetag on those puppies — wedding day or not. Many of us cannot even afford the $100 to $199 range… or the $50 to $99 range. I mean, come on, this is the Broke-Ass Bride you’re reading… and if you remember, Mrs. Broke-Ass herself was tasked with having to find hot, affordable unbridal-y wedding shoes too. So you’re not alone, ladies. I’m here to tell you that brightwhitesatin “bridal shoes” are NOT your only affordable options out there. Because get this: After scouring the world wide web, I found a slew of wedding appropriate shoes that are A) Stylish B) Something we’d wear post-wedding, and C) AFFORDABLE. Check it:
$39.99
$16.91
$32.78
$15.60
$22.50
$22.50
$22.50
$35.99
$34.99
$39.99
$25.36
$35.00
$35.00
$31.98
$39.95
$39.98
$33.79
$35.98 (I own these and they are FAB. They have heart-shaped heels!)
$37.00
$31.95
$20.34
$20.40
$24.19
$24.21
$25.49
$27.60
$27.60
$29.50
$30.63
$35.60
$35.60
And for the record, with the right dress, I would wear every single one of these pairs of shoes on my wedding day (especially those blue polka dot Nine West ones — I had a “hello, lover” moment for sure after I feasted my eyes on those babies). And you know what my bank account would be doing if I did wear one of these “under 40 dollar” pairs? It would be on it’s hands and knees thanking my fine, frugalicious broke-ass, that’s what!
So if you would be so kind, in the comment section below, please leave an “Under $40 Wedding Shoe” link to share with each other. We need to start spreading the hot, affordable, re-wearable wedding shoe love now. Broke-ass brides UNITE!
P.S. Just click on each shoe picture above to find out what brand they are and where to buy!
Erin Tavin is a bad-ass vintage shop owner with an eye for incredible fashion and funky-fresh creative spirit. I’ve adored her indie psedo-euro boho-gypsy cool-as-hell boutique since it opened in my very own ‘hood last July…. but now she’s online at etsy too, and debuting a special collection of Vintage wedding dresses that are so freaking hawt I could die. And they’re all under $1,000. I mean, come ON! Talk about a unique wedding dress!
With styles from Victorian to 1930’s through the 1970’s…. These literally make my knees weak. Please, someone, buy them, wear them, love them, and then send me the pictures! (or, um, can’t I just get married again?) Drink in this deliciousness, yo! (but careful not to drool on your keyboard).
How sick are those babies? Aoooooga!
While you’re browsing around, check out the rest of the cute vintage fashions, accessories, gifts and ephemera she’s curated at Tavin. I especially love the random little poems she includes in the etsy store for the item descriptions. So quirky and cute!
I’ve got a major girl crush on Erin for her exquisite taste, her entrepreneurial vision and her broke-ass friendly duds… and completely thrilled her collection of vintage wedding dresses is spreading its wings outside of her Echo Park store and is now available to the online masses! Which is your favorite of her gowns?
You already know this stuff, you just might not know that you know that you know it. You know?
He Does, Too.
How to Put Dinner For Hundreds in Perspective. Odds are, your wedding is the first big sit-down dinner that you’ve ever thrown. So, when I meet with brides and they tell me that they want to feed 250 guests on a reception budget of $5,000 or less, I get that it’s just a failure to extrapolate from real life. How much does it cost for you and your guy to go out to dinner? Even if it’s some place like Olive Garden – salad, entrées, drinks and dessert are going to be $30-35 per person, not including tax and tip (Yes, I checked online). And that’s Olive Garden. When you think about it that way, it doesn’t seem quite as harsh. Expensive, maybe, but not so harsh.
Being in your wedding party is an honor, but don’t make it a burden. They are not going to wear that dress again. How do I know that? Did you ever wear the last bridesmaid dress you wore again? Neither did I. So, be kind when it comes to how much the dress is going to cost, especially considering their other expenses, like hotel, airfare, a wedding gift, your bachelorette party, etc.. Once everyone is at your wedding, make everything as easy as possible. Let them know where they they need to be and when and how and what. Tell them how happy you are that they are there with you, and then tell them again. Think about how you would like to be treated if you were a bridesmaid, so don’t treat them like servants. Your wedding party is happy to be there for you – don’t make them unhappy to be there for you.
The Fine Art of Guest Maintenance. Assume nothing. Spell out everything. Where to go, how to get there, who to talk to, what to say. Wedding websites are useful. Everyone has stuff to do, don’t get angry, just set aside the week after your RSVP deadline to follow up with the no-replies. Some folks will not be able to find theirs, no matter what, so back-up up place cards with a list of your guests by last name and by table. Signage is useful. Think about what really sucked at the last wedding you went to, and make sure that’s covered. Think about what you really loved at the last wedding you went to and make sure that’s covered. Find out where the bathrooms are so you can tell whoever asks. If it’s hot, cool and hydrate your guests, if it’s cold, warm them. If there’s a long wait twixt event a and event b, entertain them. Make it a goal to say hello to every single one of your guests. Don’t let the food run out. Don’t let the drinks run out. Keep the dance floor hopping. That all being said, some people will never be happy, so just smile and thank them for coming. You might be related to some of those people, but do it anyway.
Your fiance is getting married, too. I put this last, so it’s the first thing you remember. Here’s the thing – an alarm goes off in my head when a bride contacts me about her wedding and DOESN’T mention her fiance off the bat. “I’m getting married on blah blah” as opposed to “we’re getting married on blah blah”, or if it takes a couple of emails or phone calls to even mention his name, and this happens a lot. It’s his wedding, too. Honor his wishes. Ask him what he wants as far as the wedding is concerned, involve him as much as he wants (not necessarily as much you want him to be) , don’t be surprised if he says no to anything, and work it out if he does. When you talk about your wedding, remember to say “We.” and “Us.” This is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with, not just the plastic groom on top of your wedding cake. I’m just saying.
See? I told you already knew this stuff. So, what else has given you a big head-smacking “Duh!” on your way down the aisle? And have you had an issues with numbers 1-4 yet?
This Week’s Deals:
"Limited, in terms of price, that is"
The Limited Wedding Dresses Are Here! The Limited Wedding Dresses are Here! And the price is just as pretty as the dresses are. The Limited is starting out with two styles, each less than $300. The worst part is that they’re only available online for now, but alas, you cannot have everything.
Did you know that June is National Candy Month? Luckily, if it’s also your wedding favor of choice, The Wedding Outlet has your back – use the code “SweetTreat” at checkout for 10% off your entire order.
And remember, L.A. brides, next Sunday, June 27th is The Recession Bride’s Workshop, taught by yours truly. Time to find out how to make your wedding budget stretch and still achieve the pretty you want to have. Start saving money right away by using the code”WedCharmFive” at registration. Only a few spots left, so go NOW.
When Devon from Eco-Proper (such a fabulous site!) contacted us about her heirloom handkerchief rose project, we jumped at the chance to feature it here. It’s absolutely perfect for weddings, affordable as all get-out, eco-friendly enough to earn you serious karma points, sentimentally sweet, and has so many possible applications!
Can you imagine a bridal bouquet made of family handkerchiefs? What a beautiful handmade wedding accessory. Le sigh! Dress embellishments? I swoon! Boutonnieres? Yes, please! Headbands for your bridesmaids? Oh my! Corsages? I die! Or even, (gasp) for non-floral centerpieces? They’d be gorgeous scattered on a table, or attached to manzanita branches. Oh man, I wish I knew about his when I was still engaged!
It would be so simple to find handkerchiefs for this project on the cheap…. at flea markets, thrift shops, or that trunk in the corner of your grandma’s attic. And remember, recycling old handkerchiefs like this makes for a green wedding! Or get really creative and invite your guests to send one from their family which you can incorporate into your wedding for some seriously meaningful decor. The possibilities are endless, and the process easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy. So what are you waiting for? Say hi to Devon, then get crafting!
PS – have you completed our survey yet, and entered to win some sweet-ass prizes?! Time’s running out!
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Lucky me! I was given an entire stack of antique handkerchiefs that belonged to my grandmother, her mother, her grandmother, etc… (at least, I know they came from family). For my wedding, I wanted to incorporate family heirlooms and what better way to use these than to make a bouquet from them.
What you’ll need:
- Handkerchiefs
- A needle
- Some thread
- Beads of any sort (costume jewelry pearls were used here)
Here are the steps:
1. Fold the handkerchief in half to form a triangle…Fold back over itself until you’ve folded completely, accordion-style (shown above) *this is great way to give the look of more petals, and you can leave a little of the tip hanging out to grab for extra “stem” support
2. Starting at one end, begin with two folds and then start rolling
3. After rolling a rose center, continue to roll while twisting the remainder of the piece away from you. This creates the petals. …Once you get to the end, you can grab this piece to secure the entire flower or use it to create a leaf later
4. At this point, you will need to put a couple stitches through the “stem” of your rose just to make sure nothing will move around. I used a pearl at the end of the thread just to hold it tightly and add a little something.
5. Because the center of the rose was a little awkward looking, I decided to pull some beads through the very center to bring it down into the rose. Also, I was able to use some pearls from my family’s costume jewelry to add an extra touch.
This really became a rose with the last addition and a little fluffing! Even if you don’t add beads to the center, a stitch bringing the center down really makes a difference.
(to see the steps in action, watch this nifty slideshow!)
Also, if you have a handkerchief with a beautiful design in one corner, let that corner be the last bit left when you are rolling and you can use it to create a little leaf. Beautiful! I am well on my way to a bouquet!
*On a side note, I didn’t actually do any cutting of the handkerchiefs. So if I wanted to reclaim them for other use or just sentimental value, all I need to do is just cut the stitching!
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Peep more of Devon’s eco-excellence at Eco-Proper.com or follow her on twitter: @ecopropoer
Blingers with a hard “g,” that is. I am fo’ sho’ treating myself to a hard-earned mani/pedi once the wedding gets here. I usually wear black nail polish, but I don’t think that color is going to fly with my gown. So I had to look into alternative colors. Colors or designs that looked elegant, but had a lil bit of funk and a whole lotta pop. What I found was a bevvy of blingerific fingernail looks. Here’s the most blingy of the bling:
Thass some blaaang
This bride wants to take a ride on your discostick.
I like my cake like I like my finger-bling: Just a slice.
Or try your hand at the funkiest of the funk:
Two-toned hottness.
Or use nail polish as a color pop opp. I am all about 80s neon these days. I found these hot shades and thought they’d look pimp next to a neutral or a brightly colored bouquet:
Funky finga'z
Wouldn’t these colored nails look amazing with this bouquet:
Neutral nails look beautiful, but neon would have been balls rad too. Bridal Bouquet: Wild Bloom Flowers, Apex Photo By: Azul Photography, Raleigh
Or try on some metal-inspired colors:
Dark in color, yet still elegant.
Sparkly copper. Doesn't it look fab against those diamonds and crystals? I think this color may be my winner!
How are y’all doing your nails for the wedding? Are you brave enough to rock some “Blingers” on your wedding day?
reposted (with a few minor tweaks) from Dec 2008, due to popular demand.
*Note: Dad, you may wanna skip this one. Warning: Potentially Definitely embarrassing female and personal information about to be revealed! Seriously, skip it*
I got a request to write about, err, hairstyling for the bathing suit area. You know, trimming the hedges, grooming the hair-apparent, playing truth or nair? Its a delicate topic, but a relevant one. I mean, who wants to be concerned about their overgrowth on their honeymoon, or in their boudoir pictures? Pas Moi! Yes, pruning our pubicles is not only for the ladies anymore. There is indeed men’s grooming movement… to which I say, its about time, yo!
From trimming to shaping to full removal or au natural, there’s just so many options available. I personally favor a semi-regular trim with some strong edging skills, alternated with a full mow every few months to get a clean slate and fresh start. But, um, that’s just me.
There are a wide range of methods available to help tame our under-mane. The most popular (and painful) being waxing. Since waxing takes the hair out from the root, it definitely leaves you smoother for longer, but its not for the faint of heart of sensitive of skin. Prior to our engagement, I’d only been waxed once, but broke out into quite a rash of little bumpy zits/ingrown hairs and figured I’d rather be a bushwoman than have a case of lady acne. Not sexy. At $20-$50 per treatment, its also not the most budget friendly option available, either. However, I heard enough success stories about finding a hair whisperer that works for you, and thought – hey, I’m getting married… let’s do this thing! I found a freaking amazing local waxer on yelp just in time for the wedding. My tips? Make sure you get a trial run a month or so in advance, so you can gauge your skin’s reaction and have time to recover if you, too, have bikini-breakout-itis. Then go again a week or so before the big day for round 2. Your skin will have, er, toughened (so to speak) and it will be way less aggravating to your ‘dermis. I’ll tell you what, though. My alabaster skin has never been softer or smoother. It was quite addicting, and way less painful than I expected! And, if your lovelips have stage-fright, just remember the waxer has seen ‘em in all shapes and sizes. (source)
For more everyday maintenance, my trimmer of choice is the personal trimmer, at a reasonable $8-11 depending on the brand. This little baby is inconspicuous, quiet, and effective. It works fast and takes the hair down to the skin, with quite a smooth result. It works best if you manually trim first (with scissors – be careful, yo!) and then use this to smooth out the edges, asitwere. The safety guard is what I love best – no accidental skingrabbing here! And believe me, I’ve had many an electric razor give me a nasty gash. I love this one for travel, since its about the side of a highlighter, you can take it anywhere. I’ve used it for everything from some simple edging, to a full blown mow. With practice, you can even trim to custom lengths with this – so whether you’re into a crewcut or the yul brenner, this baby can deliver.
And chiggity check this bad boy out: First, who can deny a company called “Hair Care Down There“?!? I mean, c’mon! They had me at hello. HCDT has developed a line of gentle skin care solutions to help avoid irritation and create lasting smoothness. The 1-2-3 method focuses on shaping, soothing and smoothing – to avoid ingrown hairs and promote softness. You can buy many of their skincare products a la carte (prices range from $15-up), but their Ultimate Shaving Kit is a one-stop shop of netherhair maintenance that’s hard to resist.
For $89 you get a sassy tote, jam packed with discreetly labeled products, including: a detailed shaving guide, razor, brush, comb, mirror, scissors, clear shave gel, soothing moisturizer, anti-irritant spray, stencils, pencil and *gasp!* decorative bikini bindis! Its sounds like (dare I say it?) fun! This would also make a great gift, in a not-creepy, best friend kind of way, right? I think my favorite thing is the testimonials on their site, on which many happy hubbies suggest using this as a kind of foreplay. Interesting…..
I personally stay away from hair removal creams, because I’ve heard horror stories of burns. Anyone out there a Nair advocate?
Now that we’ve covered removal techniques, let’s take a moment to remember that even your lady-locks can be stylish. I’ve included this informative video which uses a simple outline and pieces of costruction paper to illustrate the many ways to style yourself. What’s your favorite style?
I hope this has helped to demystify some of the tools and techniques available to help coif your cuttles (too far?), but I want to know what I’m missing. Anyone got a fave product, style, or technique they’d like to share?
Oh, and I’ve heard rumors that Duane Read carries special dye for your muffintop! I’d love to try that business out!
