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….a little help from our friends! You might’ve noticed that the blog was strangely quiet yesterday. The Broke-Ass Bride, along with many other names in the blogosphere, chose to acknowledge the crisis in Japan with an honorary Blogger’s Day of Silence. If you missed it, there’s still plenty you can do to raise awareness and assist with the relief effort – be sure to check out For Japan With Love for more info! Once you’ve done that, feel free to mosey back on over here – we’ll be ramping up on wedding content all weekend, with great posts from Dana F. and Robin! And be sure to check out some of these great posts on our friends’ sites too!
It’s a wonder anyone has time to blink 48 hours before their own wedding, let alone blog – yet our little Mallory shot it out of the park with this profoundly moving post about the importance of distinguishing your wedding from your marriage.
Check out Honey Living’s feature on the way one bride preserved her wedding day memories so she can see them every day.
Brides-to-be: Want to make floral decisions easier AND save some money? The March Edition of bWed Exclusive’s month-to-month guide of popular and seasonal flowers is here to help!
Y’all might remember my friend Amanda from 100 Layer Cake from the last time she guest-posted here, sharing her to-die-for DIY anthropologie-esque rope and brooch necklace. I asked her back today to share a bit about hers, Kristina’s and Jillian’s fantastic new 100 Layer Cake website, and all its broke-ass friendly bells and whistles. You are going to love what they’ve got going on! Welcome, Amanda!
Hiya Broke-Ass Bride-ies! Dana was ever so kind to invite us over to do a post on our new site, 100layercake.com. Some of you are probably already familiar with it and our little blog, but for those of you who’ve yet to click over, we’d like to extend a big, delicious welcome your way!
We’ve got all sorts of excellent resources for budgets big and small and if you’d allow us a minute, we’d love to introduce you to them.
Our Marketplace: a pretty place to buy and sell pieces of your wedding! Still planning? Come on over and sift through details that someone else already put the time into collecting. Already wed? We bet there’s another crafty bride out there who’d love to use your collection of vintage pottery for her wedding too. Vendor Requests: A lovely symbiotic system for vendors and brides! Brides can post a request for a particular wedding service they’re in the market for, and in return vendors can bid on said request. Isn’t that fun? We’re hoping it allows people to connect who might not have had the chance with just regular old wedding blogs. (Not that we don’t love those!)
DIY Resources: Our list of the best spots on the internets to find supplies for your wedding projects.
Vendors & Venue: A comprehensive guide to vendors and venues that anyone can join! For $100/year any vendor, brand new or well seasoned, can add their portfolio to our growing community of wedding pros. And brides, that means you’ve got one pretty spot to search for the perfect vendors to tie your vision together.
And we’ve got lots more coming this year.
Thanks so much for having us, Dana! And please don’t be strangers, all.
If you’re a current or aspiring entrepreneur and are not yet reading Danielle LaPorte’s site, White Hot Truth, you are truly missing out. ‘Cuz she will change your life, if you let her. And “letting her” really means letting yourself change your life. She’s just the messenger, but oh… what a messenger she is. I wish I could curl up in her pocket and live there. Its like she’s speaking to my soul.
You may remember that I credit a lot of my great successes to the power of ASKING FOR IT. From bartering 1/2 the cost of my couture wedding gown away, to befriending some of my heroes… the act of asking has opened doors, and opened my mind. The below blog post from White Hot Truth on the very same subject is so damn inspiring I just had to share it. And once you’re done with that, go over and read more (and more, and more) at White Hot Truth. You’re welcome. xo – Dana
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qualified requests: how to ask for stuff
Just ask. Ask and It Is Given. Ask and you shall receive. Good things come to those who…ask.
Agreed. Emphatically. Ask and keep asking. Ask the universe, your boss, your crush, bank manager, bus driver, car salesman…ask for what you want and keep on asking. But if you want to increase your odds of receptivity, you’ve got to go about it with some style, darling. The formula for stylin’ askin’ gets down to this: sincerity + brevity = intelligence.
My Malcolm Gladwell Ask
For my first book I wanted the best literary agent in the business. So I started at the top, naturally. I honed in on the books and authors I admired most and read their acknowledgments sections, looking for the writers who genuinely and emphatically thanked their agents. In The Tipping Point, Gladwell swooned over his agent – claimed she should run for the US Presidency. “Well, she’ll do!” I thought. Where to start asking? With Malcolm. How to get his email? Off his website. [Yep - it can be that easy, and it often is.]
The Ask went a little somethin’ like this:
Dear Malcolm,
You’re Canadian. My business partner and I are Canadian. You’ve been called “obsessively competitive.” My partner was a former nationally-ranked athlete and she still hates to lose. You’re half black. And, well, I’m a white girl with dreadlocks. I’m hoping you’ll be charmed enough to help open a door for us…
[When you're being authentic, you have nothing to lose. Giving it "your all" is often about leaving pretenses behind. Win or lose, you'll feel all dignified and jazzed because you fully showed up.]
We want to get to [Madame Agent.] You think she could run the world, and I think she could make my dreams come true. Here’s our concept:
[What followed was ONLY three sentences - two sentences describing the book idea, and one sentence describing the market.]
I think [Madame Agent] is my Neo. The One. And if you could tell me what vintage of wine she drinks, her favourite bon bons, or how to get her pay attention to my book proposal, well, I’d be immensely grateful. If there is a direct entre to [Madame Agent] or if you have a suggestion on how to appeal to her, please let me know. We need more Canadians on the bestseller list. Very appreciatively….
[inserted website and contact deets]
The result: Malcolm, good Canadian that he is, responded in a day or two to the effect of “Well, how can I say no?” [The universe can't resist authenticity, it's a law. Thankfully, Mr. Gladwell couldn't resist it either.] He forwarded the email to Madame Agent. She reached out to me, and not long after, we landed a phat book deal.
the 5 essentials of making qualified requests
1. Identify affinity: You better know as much as you can about who you’re talking to. Be clear about why you’re interested in them in particular, and mention that at the get-go. I once called a local creative exec – found his wife’s number in the ol’ phone book and gave it a shot. He answered the phone. “I just read an interview where you talked about creating a “culture of yes” to support one’s creative process and it got me thinking…” We talked for 15 minutes, I asked when we could meet for tea to tell him more about what I was up to. A week later, he invested in my company.
2. Brevity is a form of respect, especially when you’re asking a busy person for help. If you send more than three paragraphs (one is IDEAL,) and attachments, and you delve into your history or ten years into the future, I guarantee you’ll get flagged as annoying, delusional and/or not too bright. And really, if you can’t boil down what you’re up to in one concise paragraph, you don’t have a good grip on it.
3. Specificity is a call to action. What EXACTLY are you looking for? Your request could be a simple as “I’d love to get your perspective, just to have the opportunity to hear what you think of my strategy would be a great value. A half-hour of your time over coffee or in your office – you name it and I’ll be there.” “I want to know everything about social media that you can tell me in fifteen minutes of your spare time…I’m looking to raise capital and would like to pitch you.” (Though remember what the ol’ rich guys love to say, “If you ask for money, you’ll probably just get advice. If you ask for advice, you’re more likely to get money.” I can back that up.)
Never, evah ask for “free” advice when you haven’t invested in someone’s material (either with your time actually studying their free stuff, or actually buying their material.) If you’re asking for help in the form of a written response, you need to be even more succinct and gracious. If I get general requests like, “Do you have any advice for how to start up my business?” Well…you’re kidding me, right? Guess you missed the 900+ free articles on this site, and the fact that I make my living giving strategic advice. But sure, here’s some advice: get a job where someone tells you exactly what to do, ‘cuz you’re going to need it.
Try this: “Could you look at my website and just tell me the first three words that come to mind in terms of my brand?” Bam bam, smarty pants.
4. NO BULLSHIT HYPE. Embellishing things is a no-no way to start any relationship. Smart folk usually have excellent memories and if they sniff out a white lie or exaggeration about how successful you say you are in the beginning, it could all go south really quickly. Stick to the facts. Facts are a solid foundation.
However…
5. HEART HYPE is essential. Don’t spend a lot of airtime talking about how you think your idea is going to make a zill or get you on Oprah Ellen, Larry King Piers Morgan, but do hit a big love note: you’re passionate, you feel called, you’re giving it all you got, you’re in it to win it. Passion persuades.
You may be surprised at how many successful people sincerely want to help you – when you can prove your smarts and passion by asking smartly and passionately.
I recently raised my price for 1-on-1 Fire Starter Sessions to $1000, from $500. (The demand exceeded the supply and it’s clear that clients can earn back the $1000 investment with a few strategic gems…) I got a few people who were like, “Dang woman! Why didn’t you tell me you were going to raise your price?” I don’t really have a warm-fuzzy response for that.
And a few others took a more proactive and optimistic approach. They open heartedly asked if I could honour the old fee, briefly explained what they were doing in the world, and how a session could help them knock it outta the park. My answer: “Well, how could I say no?”
‘Memba those fabulous DIY Louboutin-inspired petal sandals we featured from Love, Maegan a few weeks ago? Well, today we’re feeding to your fix with a matching petal bag that’s as simple as it is sexy. Thanks again to Maegan for sharing! Make sure to check out her fabulous site and love her long time. Trust me, you’ll be glad you did! …..and away we go!
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A Practical Wedding was one of my most beloved daily reads when I was engaged. Meg started her blog just a few months before me, and we were both wed within months of each other… so in many ways I viewed her as a sister during the process. Her down-to-earth authenticity kept me honest and sane when I would get bogged down in the details, or fall prey to equating dollars-out with happiness-in.
Like me, she’s still at it (with a gorgeously redesigned site, no less) and leading the Team Practical cause like the bad-ass fairy godmother of wisdom that she’s always been.
Today, she’s featured us as Wedding Graduates… and my heart palpitates with happiness! Go, check out our story and pics, and make Meg your new best friend. She’s a good’un, she is.
Click over for the full post!
And to those of you who came over from APW today – welcome! There’s cold ones in the fridge, and my sofa is hella cozy. We hope you enjoy your stay, and come back often!
An interactive candyland themed engagement announcement? Ninja PLEASE! Are you kidding me?
This is some of the most creative shiz I’ve stumbled across in all my tours around the interwebs, from a hugely clever blogger and his adorable fiancee. Follow this link for the whole experience, and be sure to explore all the fun multimedia along the way… as Mike tells the story of how he and Michelle met, fell in love, and got engaged!
Ohhhhhh Emmmmm Geeeeeee!
Congrats to Mike and Michelle, not just for your engagement, but for raising the bar for unique and creative broke-ass wedding goodness, everywhere. It’s so inspiring to see people putting their unique skills to work, and making their wedding a real reflection of themselves. That’s broke-ass brilliance at its best!
When Devon from Eco-Proper (such a fabulous site!) contacted us about her heirloom handkerchief rose project, we jumped at the chance to feature it here. It’s absolutely perfect for weddings, affordable as all get-out, eco-friendly enough to earn you serious karma points, sentimentally sweet, and has so many possible applications!
Can you imagine a bridal bouquet made of family handkerchiefs? What a beautiful handmade wedding accessory. Le sigh! Dress embellishments? I swoon! Boutonnieres? Yes, please! Headbands for your bridesmaids? Oh my! Corsages? I die! Or even, (gasp) for non-floral centerpieces? They’d be gorgeous scattered on a table, or attached to manzanita branches. Oh man, I wish I knew about his when I was still engaged!
It would be so simple to find handkerchiefs for this project on the cheap…. at flea markets, thrift shops, or that trunk in the corner of your grandma’s attic. And remember, recycling old handkerchiefs like this makes for a green wedding! Or get really creative and invite your guests to send one from their family which you can incorporate into your wedding for some seriously meaningful decor. The possibilities are endless, and the process easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy. So what are you waiting for? Say hi to Devon, then get crafting!
PS – have you completed our survey yet, and entered to win some sweet-ass prizes?! Time’s running out!
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Lucky me! I was given an entire stack of antique handkerchiefs that belonged to my grandmother, her mother, her grandmother, etc… (at least, I know they came from family). For my wedding, I wanted to incorporate family heirlooms and what better way to use these than to make a bouquet from them.
What you’ll need:
- Handkerchiefs
- A needle
- Some thread
- Beads of any sort (costume jewelry pearls were used here)
Here are the steps:
1. Fold the handkerchief in half to form a triangle…Fold back over itself until you’ve folded completely, accordion-style (shown above) *this is great way to give the look of more petals, and you can leave a little of the tip hanging out to grab for extra “stem” support
2. Starting at one end, begin with two folds and then start rolling
3. After rolling a rose center, continue to roll while twisting the remainder of the piece away from you. This creates the petals. …Once you get to the end, you can grab this piece to secure the entire flower or use it to create a leaf later
4. At this point, you will need to put a couple stitches through the “stem” of your rose just to make sure nothing will move around. I used a pearl at the end of the thread just to hold it tightly and add a little something.
5. Because the center of the rose was a little awkward looking, I decided to pull some beads through the very center to bring it down into the rose. Also, I was able to use some pearls from my family’s costume jewelry to add an extra touch.
This really became a rose with the last addition and a little fluffing! Even if you don’t add beads to the center, a stitch bringing the center down really makes a difference.
(to see the steps in action, watch this nifty slideshow!)
Also, if you have a handkerchief with a beautiful design in one corner, let that corner be the last bit left when you are rolling and you can use it to create a little leaf. Beautiful! I am well on my way to a bouquet!
*On a side note, I didn’t actually do any cutting of the handkerchiefs. So if I wanted to reclaim them for other use or just sentimental value, all I need to do is just cut the stitching!
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Peep more of Devon’s eco-excellence at Eco-Proper.com or follow her on twitter: @ecopropoer
Wowza, can I just say I lurve the what outta you guys? Your enthusiasm about my mystery news was so overwhelmingly heartwarming, it kind of puts my actual news to shame! But the encouraging guesses you listed in the comments made cartoon hearts bubble out of my head all day long! No one quite correctly guessed what’s up, but your answers were actually much more exciting.
The truth is…. I put in my notice at work! (insert slow fade to flashback)
Right around the time I went to Making Things Happen, I set a goal to be out of my day job by the end of May, no matter what. I said to myself, “self, I don’t know how it’s going to happen, but you and I know there’s no other choice!” As May approached, I found myself nearing critical mass as it grew harder and harder to maintain a balance between my day job and the blog. I couldn’t seem to finish anything I started, which was making me tense and angsty. I knew that if I could only dedicate the 55-60 hours/week I spend either working or traveling to/from work, toward the betterment of this site, or my book proposal (or everything) we could make up the financial difference through doing. Hunter and I kept talking about how there had to be a leap of faith, and soon, but we were both terrified of jumping without a net.
A week or so ago, a friend of a friend was looking for someone to handle social media strategy and management for a network of 3 websites… part-time, from home… and she recommended me. I interviewed, got a voice mail with an offer, put down the phone, walked into my boss’s office and put in my notice. Just like that. It was a no-brainer.
Two weeks ago, I had my heart set on a goal with no clue how I’d get there. Two weeks from today, I’ll be working part-time as a social media contractor, doing something I absolutely love, and I’ll finally have the flexibility and freedom be able to hone in on some key broke-ass improvements and ideas with Hunter and Michael that we’ve been dreaming up, making things happen in a way that feels more right than ever! So stay tuned, because we’ve got some hecka fun tricks up our sleeves! I’ve been feeling imprisoned in my little cubicle with no natural light for far too long, but call me Richard Pryor, ’cause I’m BUSTIN’ LOOSE!
Here’s me, at my new job:
Oh, hullo, I am a social media maven! rawr!
Bahahaha! Yeah…. right.
Really, I’ll probably look more like this:
Take me away again to margaritaville. / KIDDING!
But I gotta say that hopefully, sooner than later, your predictions for me will be true, too! From your guesses, you were almost completely split between thinking I was either going to have:
1. A book deal, or
2. My own TV show (this won out by 2 votes!)
The book deal I can understand, because its no secret that I’ve been dreaming of, and working toward getting one. In fact… Just last week I submitted for feedback the rough beginnings of my proposal to the agents I met with in NY. ‘Memba how I set a goal to get a book deal by my last birthday, and ended up meeting with book agents that very week? Well how ’bout that? Writing a book has been a goal for many years now, and senseless fear has held me back… but I’m going for it! Balls to the wall, baby
But, the TV thing? That sounds dope as hell! (and yup, those wheels are turning too!) So, you hear this, WeTV, WeddingCentral, TLC and Bravo? You out there Oprah? Tell your OWN network! My friends here think I should be on tv, and I could definitely get behind that! (Meanwhile, we’re plotting some fun web video segments, so hang in there for those. They’re going to be hecka fun!)
And now that I’ve popped the cork on that good news, I have bonus goodness for you too!
I’m goosebumpitty with excitement to introduce our newest Broke-Ass Team Member…. Joy! (aka HowJoyful, aka Mrs. Poodle, aka the DIY bad-ass of the universe!)
image via Next Exit photography
I met Joy through Weddingbee, but she has grown into a treasured friend who puts Martha to shame with her creativity and moxie. We went to her extraordinarily stunning DIY wedding a few weeks ago, and we’re absolutely thrilled to have her join the team! Each week, Joy will share her broke-ass crafty goodness to inspire your own creations and charm you with her Chilean sass and frass. Her first post is coming right up later today, so be sure to stop back and offer Joy a warm broke-ass welcome!
But before that, I want to thank you for all of your encouragement and kind words. It still stuns me, to be blessed with such a network of love to lean on… and I love y’all so so much right back! Without you cheering me on, I’d never have pushed it this far. Now, because of you really, I get to be my own boss and follow my dreams with all my heart and soul. Schanks, we’re gonna have lots of fun
