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May I be the 30th person to congratulate you on your engagement. Welcome to Wedding World! Many of us have to stick to the bottom line when it comes to planning our weddings. So, here are some very short answers to your burning budget bridal questions:
1. How much is my wedding and reception going to be?
Set aside half your budget. It’s one reason why you should find your venue and caterer before you find anything else.
2. Can I shop for my dress even though I haven’t found my wedding venue, yet?
Like I could stop you. Remember that half of your budget is already gone, please. And then grab your friends and a strapless bra and have fun.
3. What’s the best way to save money on my reception?
In order: a. Lower your guest count b. choose a less expensive venue/caterer c. Limit the bar, either by type of alcohol or by length of time. You don’t have to do all of them, but any of these will help.
4. What’s the #1 thing that might bite me in the butt when I’m booking my reception site?
Tax and service. Tax here in L.A. is 10%, service is 20% =30%. 100 guests @ $50/pp = $5,000, tax & service = $1500 extra. What is it where you are? Have your potential site write a proposal so you can see the full cost in print.
5. Is DIY’ing my wedding going to save more money?
Yup. But the trade-off is the time it’s going to take to do it. And don’t let the learning curve frustrate you. The pay-off is going to make you feel like a rock star, though.
6. Invitations?
Save yourself some paper and twice the stamps and have your guests RSVP online. Or go with e-vites, if you’re feeling bold.
Simple, beautiful and seasonal. (Courtesy of Up Imagery)
7. Flowers?
Stick with flowers that are in season. If you have your heart set on something that’s not, ask how you can make any arrangement less expensive.
8. Cake?
There is always leftover cake. Always. You can get a smaller cake, and then back it up with a sheet cake. But there will still be leftover cake.
9. D.J. vs. ipod?
The ipod is less expensive, obviously, but needs a lot of monitoring. The D.J. can play the music and direct the party, which makes them worth the cost. My recommendation is to get a DJ you can afford.
10. Photography?
One of the only things, aside from your spouse, that you’re taking away from your wedding. You don’t have to splurge, but you will regret skimping. Go for quality, whatever your price point is. After looking around, you’ll recognize it when you see it.
11. What’s your best advice on sticking to my budget?
Simple: Stick to your budget. It’s just that easy, and just that hard. If you can’t afford it, walk away. Something you can afford and will love is out there. Don’t give up until you find it or find out how to do it. Giving up is stupid. Ask as many questions as you can until you get the answers you need. Don’t give yourself too hard a time if you splurge on something, you can figure out how to save someplace else. Just don’t make it a habit.
Do you have anything to add to my advice, or more budget questions? And, seriously, what is tax and service coming out to where you live? Let me know in the comments below.
Last week I had the immense pleasure and honor to be a speaker at the first annual Inspire Smart Success Experience in Riviera Cancun, Mexico – and had the time of my life meeting, learning from and educating a diverse and talented group of wedding business pros of every level. Oh, and drinking copious margaritas. And mojitos. And basking on the beach. And dancing by the pool. And periodic tequila shots. Y’know, all the things that make a trip to the Caribbean… well, a trip to the Caribbean. That is, if you like to party. And oh… I likes to party.
(you should know that I am a WHORE for all-inclusive resorts after our honeymoon at Dreams Los Cabos. You give a broke-ass like me permission to eat and drink as much as I want, including room service an a mini bar? I might never leave. And I will gain like 20 pounds. Yeah, that happened.)
I can safely say that it was the most fun Hunter and I have ever had at a wedding industry event. It was impeccably planned, designed and executed by Stacie, Rachel and her team, and the people it attracted were some of the most outgoing and genuine I’ve had the chance to meet in this business. Such a bad-ass crew. Stacie definitely attracted an amazing crew of attendees and speakers! I miss them all already.
Inspire Smart Success was created by the incomparable Stacie Francombe (former founder and CEO of GetMarried Media) as a full service entrepreneurship mentoring concept. From a quarterly magazine to regional conferences to one-on-one mentorship and beyond, Stacie is building an empire focused on helping people develop and grow their businesses to their fullest potential. She’s done several city-specific mini-conferences this year and wrapped it up with a 4-day experience in the most gorgeous of gorgeous settings at the Now Sapphire Resort on the sparkling gulf of mexico.
From the minute we arrived, we were blown away by the attention to detail and level of service. And our room… well, I’ll let the photo speak for itself.
Champagne. Waiting for us. In the room. (I am also a whore for champagne)
Walking out of our room, this was 20 steps down the path:
It’s a bar. ON THE BEACH. I mean, come on. (everyone, wave at Fresh Hubby!)
Friday night was the Blanca Beach party. After drinking margaritas all day, then champagne while getting ready for the night, then switching to beer and sake for Japanese dinner with our FABULOUS and fun friends Robert Evans and Mike Colón, then back to margaritas at the event, I was left looking something like this:
Hot mess.
That’s Bernadette from 14 Stories behind me, hamming it up. She was one of my favorite new friends from the trip – what a hoot! And yes, that’s me on my bag. Because I’m awesome. And vain. or both. Anyway, the point is, I went to bed early that night. Like a boss.
I’ll have more to share about the rest of the conference, the sessions and events, but for now… check out this incredible teaser video by the pimps over at Epic Motion – they really captured the essence of the week… so take a look!
As 2011 rambles ever-steadily on toward December 31st, the pressure of a new year is just around the corner. This makes me particularly anxious, because my aquarian ass knows my birthday is just around the corner from New Years, and that makes January is a double-whammy of NEW. There’s twice the… potential… in the air. Annual opportunities for fresh beginnings and second chances. Redemption, if you will. (and I do.) So I throw on my fancy instropection hat (oh, it’s cute, don’t worry) and take a good hard look at where I’ve been, where I am, and where I’m going. And, inevitably, I’m kindatotallysomewhatvery disappointed with how little I accomplished in the previous year. I just never seem to get enough done.
Throughout my life, I’ve kept a mental “List”: things I desperately want to experience or accomplish before I’m done. Some that I’ve put voice to publicly, some I confessed to loved ones privately, and some which have emerged from the recesses of my imagination and tethered themselves relentlessly to my heart. It’s a work-in-progress, but each item on it is rooted deeply in my intention and speaks for my essence… my innate Dana-ness.
I was inspired to put mine to paper last year after reading Maggie’s blog and Mighty Life List. And this year, when Meg told me that Maggie would be hosting a weekend retreat in Palm Springs called Camp Mighty, I knew what I had to do. From their site:
Camp Mighty is a retreat for people who like to make cool stuff. If you’re one of those people, you should come. We can talk about getting good at life. We’re here to live better…get smarter…do gooder.
…Camp Mighty is a weekend structured around skills. The objective is to improve your life until it cannot be further improved.
And our Life Lists are the starting place. OH AND THERE’S A SPACE CAMP PARTY, WITH ANTI-GRAVITY. Holy crap, you guys… “experience anti-gravity” was already ON my Life List. I couldn’t not go.
So I am going.
Part of the “Doing Gooder” aspect is that each camper is asked to raise or donate $200 to Charity: Water a non-profit organization bringing clean and safe drinking water to people in developing nations. 100% of public donations directly fund projects to help bring clean water to those that don’t have it. Currently 1 billion people across the planet don’t have access to clean drinking water. If I raise $200, everyone who donated will have helped 10 people get access to clean water, and if my team reaches our goal of $5000, we will all have helped build a well for an entire village. Collectively, all Mighty Campers will be raising $20k to bring clean drinking water to the needy. Check it out:
So go ahead and donate. Treat yourself to a hit of Do-Gooder seratonin, and wallow blissfully in some warm fuzzies, knowing you helped make that happen.
Or, if warm fuzzies aren’t enough: each person who donates a minimum of $10 to my team’s Charity:Water fund until I reach my goal, will be the dubiously lucky recipient of an original, personalized haiku poem, from me to you, and a video of me reciting it. I write a mean haiku, people. Get you some.
CLICK HERE TO MAKE A DONATION ***and be sure to list my name in the comment box at the bottom of the page, near the donate amount field, so we can track that you donated through BAB (& if I owe you a haiku!)***
Camp Mighty is next weekend, and in preparation I’ve been revising my list, and laying groundwork toward some of the goals to try and get a head start. Spending a weekend with like-minded people, soaking up inspiration, and organizing my priorities sounds like just what the doctor ordered. A good, motivational kick in the pants before 2012 smacks me in the face. (Well, that… and space camp. I mean, let’s be real.)
I’ll be sure to report on how it goes!
…and if you’re interested in what’s on my Life List, you can read it here.
Dear Liz: When my fiance & I got engaged, we were so excited! So excited that I asked four girls to be my bridesmaids. I now think it would be best if I only had my ONE maid of honor and that’s it, plus it’s gotten too complicated managing all them. But how exactly do you un-bridesmaid someone without making them upset?
Signed,
Three to Go
Dear Three,
This is a tough one, but, it’s doable. You have a couple of things in your favor. First thing, believe it or not, is that Kate and William did it, so you have a big public precedent! The second thing is that you’re not just cutting one or two bridesmaids, you’re cutting all of them, so no one is being left out. It would make it even easier if your fiance agrees to cut his crew down to a best man, too, which will further justify only having one attendant on your side. Explain to them that YOU AND YOUR FIANCE agreed to simplify things, so (start with this) he is only having a Best Man, which means you’re just going to have a Maid of Honor. It has the added benefit of being true, too – you are trying to simplify your wedding. And try to avoid using the word “You”, as in “You’re really busy”, “You don’t have time,” or, most especially, “You and I aren’t that close anymore.” Take the fall. You can also assign them different tasks during your wedding, like helping with the guest book or the place cards, or, even better, ask them to make toasts. I’ve been seeing that a lot lately, friends who aren’t in the wedding party getting to say a little something. I can’t guarantee that their feelings won’t be hurt, but it should take away the sting a little.
Dear Liz:
Three Steps To A Beautiful and Prompt YOU.
I’ve been a bridesmaid three times, and with my own wedding coming up next month, I wanted to take extra special care of mine. I’m paying for their dresses, and for all of them to get their hair and make-up done. But, the last time I was a bridesmaid, the hair and make-up totally ran over and we ended up leaving the hotel almost an hour late. I do NOT want that to happen. How do I avoid it?
Signed,
Getting Down the Aisle On Time
Dear Aisle,
Totally easy. Well, sort of. This is what I do with my brides: Step one is to talk to your hair and make-up people and figure out how long it’s going to get everyone done. Step two is to figure out when you need to leave to get to your ceremony on time. Step three is schedule hair and make-up to end an hourbefore you have to leave. You heard me. That gives you plenty of time for everyone to finish getting dressed, get their things, get in the car, or, seriously, just chill for a minute. Getting to chill is way better than having to run around like a crazy person shortly before you walk down the aisle. The make-up will last, the hair will last, and if you don’t believe me, ask the person doing it.
Why is this sort of easy? Well, depending on how many women are getting “done”, you might have to start the day really early. Sorry about that.
So, have any of you had to un-bridesmaid someone? How did you handle it? What’s the worst running late-after-makeup story you know about? Let us know below!
Like a smart bride on a budget, you’ve actually come up with one. You’re determined to stay on track, but there are so many attractive upgrades! Overlays are only $3 a piece. The bar for the cocktail hour is included in your venue package, but it’s only $8 per person per hour to go past that. Petals down the aisle are only another $100. That extra appetizer is only $4 per person. So cheap! You decide to go for it all, but you tally it all up .and realize that it puts you $5,000 over budget.
Whoops.
Don’t panic, it’s just time to play Tetris. Twist those overages around, reshape them, line them up and watch them disappear. Your first instinct will be that you can’t cut a thing, that everything listed is essential to having a better wedding than you ever imagined. Take a deep breath, and look again.
First, determine what you really want to keep on that list of overages. Let’s say it’s one of the biggest line items, the bar. $8 per person sounds cool, but an extra 3 hours adds up to $2400 +. That’s got to come out of somewhere.
Second, start with the stuff that people just aren’t going to notice at your reception. Overlays are great, but no one is going to look around and say, “Why are these tables naked? This wedding sucks!” I’m just saying. Two passed appetizers will do, you don’t need 3 or 4. Four appetizers is a meal unto itself, leave room for the actual meal they’re going to eat in an hour.
Less flowers, still gorgeous.
Still short? Keep going. Talk to your florist about making the centerpieces smaller, or switch to less expensive alternative flowers. Every florist is going to be able to give you an idea of what those are. If smaller will save you more, can you add candles to the table for some extra oomph? What does a $35 bridesmaid bouquet look like as opposed to a $65 one?
Need more? Look at your photography. Can you downgrade to less hours? Have them start shooting a little later, and adjust your timeline so you can get everything in. This is where cutting the cake early comes in handy. Get a smaller album? I wouldn’t suggest cutting out the album all together, because it really is one of the only things you’re walking away with after your wedding, but see what’s possible.
And don’t be ashamed to ask. It never hurts to ask. All of this is contingent on what’s already been agreed to in your contracts, too, of course, which is why it also helps to start out with the basic of basic packages and upgrade after you’re sure you’ve got the room in your budget. A lot less stress for you, and fewer uncomfortable conversations. You can always upgrade later.
But in many cases, people will be willing to work with you. I’m not the only wedding vendor who’s used to working with a strict budget. Explain that you’re saving money for the bar. They’ll understand. No, I’m kidding. Don’t do that!
So, if your budget has gone off the rails, what steps are you taking to get it back on track? Or are you still looking for ways to cut back? Share and ask in the comments below.
Nahhhh, its not what you think. But, that doesn’t make it hurt any less. And I just need to talk it out.
I recently made the unbearably difficult choice to “break up with” one of my very best friends. It’s the first time in my adult life that I’ve been faced with having to willfully separate from someone whom I loved deeply (and still do) and shared a great deal of intimacy with, yet was never a romantic partner. It’s the longest relationship I’ve ever dissolved.
But after nine years of that kind of closeness, it hurts worse than most of my romantic break-ups in the past.
When the scales of a relationship that’s endured over many years and through vast experiences tip in favor of “for worse”, it’s very hard to know when to say when. In the past, I’ve allowed far too much “worse” to pervade my life in the name of averting conflict, or fear of loss, or weakness of will or confidence or strength. It’s all too easy to confuse loyalty with leaving yourself behind… to blur the line between curable and terminal… or to hide behind the guise of unconditional love to avoid confronting how utterly, devastatingly conditional it has actually become. I guess this is kind of a big step for me, in that I honored my boundaries more fully than I have in the past and put my well-being first, in saying “this ‘worse’ has gone too far”. I wish I felt better about that realization, but I don’t.
And this particular decision goes much further than the dissolution of a friendship. It also marks the death of a project that both Hunter and I, alongside our friend, had been pouring energy, creativity and love into for the past two years. It’s the demise of a partnership we’ve been building up far longer than that. The promise of that potential, the fantasy of our future, all the magic we were manifesting… it all went poof –compounding my grief and disappointment and sense of loss in deeper, more existential ways than I imagined. My heart is… its just broken. There’s no way around that truth, unexpected though it may be. And the mourning period is…. arduous.
There is still a corner of this heart holding out a deeply resonant prayer that someday in the future, there can be repair. That, despite the broken trust, the burning words, and all the unfair fallout –that given space, growth, healing and evolution– we’ll find a way back to each other and mend our friendship to be stronger than before. It seems impossible to me that nine years of so much shared intimacy and experience can just implode, dissolve and vanish into thin air.
This experience creates so much fear in me. We tend to think of our relationships with those we love and trust and invest into over many years as permanent. My love for this friend is like a tattoo on my heart, and while for the time being it is necessary to remove him from my life for both of our sakes, nothing can undo the history, the love, and the undeniable wish I have for the way our friendship used to be.
Mannnnn. Growing up is overrated, and relationships are hard, yo. Am I alone here, or have any of you had a similar experience?
I’m really getting scared that we’re going to be over our budget, and going to look at rentals last weekend only made it worse. We have to bring everything into our wedding and reception site, from the tables and chairs to the salt shakers. And our original estimate went up because we forgot a bunch of stuff, like our sweetheart’s table and coffee carafes. Our venue is beautiful, and we got it for a really good price, but the rentals are definitely taking up what we’ve saved! We’ve tried to keep everything as basic as possible, no patterned china, off-white linens, but I keep thinking, is all of this really necessary? Like, for instance, the chairs. The rental company recommended that I get two sets, so we wouldn’t have to move them from the ceremony to the reception area, so now we’re paying for 200 chairs instead of 100. Our caterer is bringing four waiters to serve and clean up and one bartender, but couldn’t they move the tables and save us the extra cost of the chairs? We put down a deposit, but they also told us that we have until the week of the wedding to add or take out anything, do you have any suggestions?
Signed,
Sitting it out
Dear Sitting,
Save Time, Add Money? Is there an alternative?
I get it, it’s going to be difficult to get all the chairs transferred over and set up during the hour or less you’re going to have during cocktails, especially since at least half the caterer’s staff is going to be passing hors d’ouerves. REALLY difficult. Here’s an idea: ask your caterer how much it would cost to add two or three more people for the night, and compare that to the cost of the extra set of chairs. If getting more staff is less money, do it. And don’t worry, there will be plenty for them to do afterward. There’s no such thing as too much help at a wedding.
Other ways to cut costs – use your ceremony flowers to decorate your sweethearts table. Instead of renting ceramic containers for sugar and cream, bring in the packets (which you can recycle) or the actual cream and milk cartons in ice. And wood stick stirrers, which you could also recycle. Bring out the coffee around the same time you cut the cake, and it will last until the end of the night. Use one type of glasses for as many different things as possible. A water glass that can also be a bar glass, for instance. Umm…oh, right! And check and see if your rentals can be picked up the next day instead of that same night. In many cases, that will save you some cash right there.
Dear Liz:
We’re from Albany, NY but my daughter is living, and getting married, in Los Angeles. My husband and I are happy to pay for her wedding, but I can’t believe how expensive everything is! The museum she wants to have it at rents for $1,500, and you still have to pay for catering and the cake, and renting the tables and chairs. And that’s not including getting a photographer, flowers, a dress, or any of the other stuff that she’ll need. Here in Albany, you can find a really nice place for $200, with chairs and tables, and catering isn’t nearly as much. Is there any way to negotiate for lower prices, find lower prices, or is this just how it is in L.A.?
Signed,
Willing But Sticker Shocked
Dear Shocked,
Oh, how I wish I had some good news for you, but sadly, yes, this is how we roll out here. Two years ago, the average cost of a wedding in Los Angeles came in at $28,000 and it’s hovering between that and $32, 000 now. Yes, dollars. Compared to the rest of the country, where it averages $20,000. And, the museum rental fee is pretty good, a lot of places like that go for twice, or even five times as much. Who am I kidding? The last museum I had a wedding at rented for $10,000, and you also had to bring everything in, including a kitchen set-up, which added many thousands of dollars. I’ve also coordinated weddings at the museum in question, and your daughter’s wedding, with a little management, could easily come in at $25,000. A little more than Albany’s average, but not horrible. So, what I’m saying is, even though it seems pretty bad, it could be much worse.
But, yeah, it could be better, sure. Some budgets come in above average, others come in below. There are many venues, like hotels and restaurants, that are all inclusive, and could save you some money. But, I have to tell you, there are two things that it’s VERY difficult to change a bride’s mind about once she has it set – the Dress and The Venue. You probably won’t be able to negotiate the price down with the museum, unless you have something really good to offer, like a reality show. But you can try and cut costs where you can. Does she really need a stage for the ceremony? Chiavari chairs? Four passed appetizers? An open bar all night? Just because it’s offered, doesn’t mean you have to take it. And be very clear to her about how much you’re willing to spend. Practice saying, “Are there other options? How much is it without this part?” And, of course, if you need any help, I’m here.
MUCH, much worse. Seriously.
If it’s any consolation, just 135 miles south of you, in my hometown of New York City, the average cost of a wedding is $50,000. Your daughter could have fallen in love with the Plaza. Things could be worse, I am just saying.
So, what’s given you guys sticker shock as you’ve planned your wedding? What was the one thing you decided to splurge on (and we all decide to splurge on at least one thing) and how did you decide that it was worth it? Share below!
Tomorrow is my wedding day, and when this post goes live, barring disaster, I will be married. As Joey Lawrence might say, whoa!
My original plan for this post was to write something thoughtful and profound about how wedding planning has made me a better person, strengthened my relationship with Collin, and helped unite our two families. Those things are all true, but I don’t actually have the emotional reserves (or the TIME!) to expound upon that. So just trust it: this is all worth it.
But the “this” of Wedding Week includes a series of hyper-emotional Graceless Moments (referred to by some as “freak-outs”). Here is an incredibly non-comprehensive list of things that have set me off during wedding Crunch Time:
Collin continuing to swing his keys after I told him not to (“You’re going to give me ANOTHER facial scar right before our wedding!”)
Accidentally turning on to Route 28 on my way to yoga class, putting me in slow-moving traffic going past TWO closed bridges before I could turn around. [I missed the class.]
Discovering a bright red bump on the end of my nose that appears to absorb concealer like light into a black hole.
Being rudely dismissed from a Judaica store when I wanted to buy a bag for Collin’s ceremony-stomp glass. (“You can’t just buy the bag. The bag comes with the glass. Everyone does it that way [you foolish shiksa.]“
Finding out I’d stranded my aunt on my porch for half an hour because I didn’t hear her knock over our jet-engine box fan and my phone was still on silent from that morning’s yoga.
Not being able to find my wedding lipstick. (I realize I can just go buy a new on. I’M TIRED OF BUYING THINGS.)
Getting the mean end of a staple stuck under my thumbnail while trying to free my anxiety medicine from its Rx bag.
Running low on super-glue.
Being told I should sacrifice the last batch of cookies to the demands of the timeline. [Spoiler alert: I should have]
My peach cookies coming out looking more like orange yo-yos and tasting not much better.
Discovering that our wedding hotel requires use of your room keycard to use the elevator, and that the card reader is finicky and completely flummoxes any guest over the age of 55, thus causing tremendous backups in the elevator lobby.
Having to share an incredibly cramped elevator (after my travel-savvy Aunt snatched the key card out of some dude’s hand to make it work, earning her Wedding Hero points) while I had my wedding dress across my back in a fireman’s carry.
My wedding dress not fitting in the closet in my sister’s hotel room, which seemingly has no other hanger-able surfaces. She eventually rigged something with a standing lamp and two chairs, while I sat on the bed and let out a couple of tears.
Finding out that my in-law’s suite has a leaky ceiling. What if my sister’s suite leaks too and my dress gets moldy death water on it?
Somehow becoming the point-person when our entire combined families decided to take over the back room of a restaurant without having a) a count of how many seats we needed b) more than half of those people present and accounted for c) permission from the restaurant to take the tables we were trying to take. Pro tip: when this sort of thing happens, you appoint “deal with it” responsibilities to THE NEAREST PERSON, and you say, “I’m so sorry but I really have a lot to do at home! Have a wonderful evening!” That’s not what I did. I slinked over to my Aunt and said, “We’re leaving NOW.”]
One of Collin’s cats eating a bunch of the gold tinsel I had in the bridal party gift bags, and then vomiting up tinsel hairballs.
So, yeah, Graceless Moments happen. At my worst, yesterday, I fretted that I would feel this way on our wedding day, and consequently not be truly emotionally present for it. And I don’t know if that is going to
Can you admit to any Graceless Moments in your wedding planning?
One of my worst qualities, especially given my broke-assed-ness, is that I tend to throw money at problems. When things aren’t working out, and my stress level is rising, the reach for my wallet is like an involuntary muscle twitch. This would be all fine and well if a) I had money to throw at problems b) throwing money at problems actually made them go away.
Sure, sometimes it helps, at least with the immediate issue. Like when I found out that the limo I booked to drive my wedding party around on my wedding day was not actually big enough for my wedding party (I’d like to blame this on miscommunication rather than my own failure to be able to accurately count the number of siblings we have, but who knows), dropping more cash to upgrade was the easiest way out of the problem. But as soon as the decision was made, I redirected my stress from “oh crap the limo is too small” to “oh crap the limo is too expensive.” [In the week before your wedding, stress finds a way.]
Sometimes throwing money at the problem will totally fix it, but only a crazy person would actually spend that money. Like when it was crazy hot in our bedroom even though we had the air conditioner on five degrees cooler than we normally allow, and Collin wanted to use the noisy box fan, but the sound of that thing makes my skin crawl and my skull ache, so I suggested in total seriousness we get a hotel room for the night. Collin snapped me out of that one quickly, thank heavens.
And sometimes the money flinging does no good at all. I’m reminded of when I was fighting with my DIY invitation project, and I bought the expensive solvent ink pad, bewildering pricetag be damned, only to discover I am not good enough at stamping to use it. Or when we ran out of medium-sized candles for our medium centerpieces so I bought out the entire stock at our local discount craft store (on clearance so they can’t be returned), only to discover that the reason we were short is they were on back order from the original store I went to and I’d already paid for the additional ones needed. Oops!
Worst of all, throwing money at problems has reprogrammed me to thinking that spending will alleviate stress. I’m basically in in-patient retail therapy at this point. Ulta is liquidating its house-brand makeup? Well of course I will buy 7 eyeliners (one shade for every day of the week?). My bra hook breaks while I’m trying on new swimsuits for the honeymoon (who cares that we’re going to the desert? Honeymoon means new swimsuits, right?), I walk into Vicky’s Secret and buy two fancy schmancy bras for the price I normally spend on a full season’s wardrobe because, well, it’s next door and I know they carry my weird size and I JUST WANT THEM, OK?
This is the part of the post where I’d normally switch gears and start offering advice for how to deal with the problem I’m describing. I WISH I COULD DO THAT! That would make my credit card statement less of a “taking the exam for a class you never knew you were in and also you are naked and your teeth are falling out” nightmare. So I turn to Broke-Ass Nation: are you also guilty of indulging in retail therapy and throwing money at problems? Do you find it helps, hurts, or doesn’t move your stress level? Do you have any secrets for combating these urges you’d like to share with the class? Please, please, tell me you do!
