When we left off…. I was just arriving at the ceremony site, along with the ladies of my bridal party. We took off our shoes before ascending the stairs, as was tradition at the Shumei Center, in whose Hollywood garden we had our ceremony.
I knew the time had come, and all I wanted was to peer out the upstairs window at the guests gathering, but I was quarantined upstairs so as to avoid being spotted by Hunter. We hid out in a spare room, and waited, all a-buzz with bridal delight.
Ta-Dizzle!
Our dear friends own a company specializing in tea, accessories, and gourmet goods called Algabar (in whose former shop I worked for years) which also offers marvelous tea-inspired catering as Fete du The. As a wedding gift to us, they offered to serve a ceremony refreshment, and we loved the idea!
They served our favorite tea cocktail that they had invented, The Mrs. Palmer: a lavender-infused lemonade blended with earl grey and lavender tea, (with an option to spike with vodka), and sweetened with lavender syrup. As soon as we got upstairs, I was all… “someone get this bride a drink!” Just one… to take the edge off. Hey, I may be an actress – but standing in front of everyone without a character to hide behind, is still intimidating. And, I was about to get freaking married!
wetting my wedding whistle
Our friends served the drinks in mason jars that I BrideShared with a bride I met on the indiebride kvetch forum, at a table off to the side of the ceremony seating. The guests later gushed about how much they loved and appreciated the tasty drinks.
Then of course, thanks to my drink and the nerves, I had to pee. Now, I am posting this out of love for you readers, and because I keeps it real. But you gotta know, it probably will happen to you. And you’ll need help. That’s what your maid of honor is for. That’s what sisters are for. So, ladies and gentleman (that’s you, dad)… I give you, The Broke-Ass Bride at her very finest!
It happens to the best of us...
I just had to post this picture because MaPo took it and I love it. (and in the hopes it will help you forget the previous photo)
Next thing I knew, Sharlene our intrepid DOC, was upstairs telling the ladies it was time to line up for the processional. I quickly rallied the troops for some last-minute wall pushups to get strong and make ourselves feel ultra bad-ass.
for last minute toning...
And it was time to go! I took a moment to be alone upstairs after the girls left, to breathe, to give myself a moment. I gave myself a “be present” pep talk and felt a HUGE smile creep across my face. I was nervous, but mostly just excited and calm and steady and ready.
I could hear the processional music beginning, and I knew that everyone was lined up downstairs, ready to walk that aisle before me. That my father was waiting to walk with me on that path. That the garden would be full of my favorite faces and most beloved friends and family. I knew at the end of that aisle stood my husband.
It had been a year since I first tried on my dress, an ill-fitting runway sample that still made me feel like some bridal angel from heaven. I spent hours daydreaming about it over the year, sneaking peeks at the sample in Deborah’s studio during my work-trade hours, or using it as motivation to sweat my back fat off. Putting it on was the holy grail of my pre-ceremony prep, and I was dizzily giddy with glee when the time came to step into that swathe of frothy, creamy, lacy confection.
Even though Deborah (my fairy godmother/dress designer) was there to help me change, I didn’t want my mom or maid of honor to miss out on their part in the dressing honor. So I invited them up to get me started….
My mom and MOH as Cinderella's little birdies
Make. Me. PRETTY!
I have a tendency to let adrenaline and excitement overwhelm and keep me from really being present in a moment, so as often as possible throughout the day, I’d try to quiet down and let the moments really sink in, instead of merely washing over me.
Feelin' it.
But, on the real, it was hard to keep from bursting the seams of my joy every minute.
Deb stepped in to lace me up….
My sister is looking so perplexed!
I just kept looking down at the gown, in awe of it all.
Then it was time to tie my sash…
My paparazzi moment.
Like a perfect present.
We almost forgot my garter! A few years back, Hunter caught the garter at my sister Kim’s wedding, so we thought it would be fun to use it as a “something borrowed”
Momma, your leg smells like bride!
How does it look?
Fashion tape time! Ah, how innocent I was, how badly it let me down.
Got some sassy glitter to decorate my decolletage!
My girls need some glitter!
I took a last look before running out the door…
Is my halo on straight?
Back fat check! All clear!
…..and it was time to roll! We all piled into a van and headed towards the ceremony site, feeling high on happiness and full of joyous anticipation. My vows in hand, I looked down at the words I was getting ready to utter, and remembered to switch my engagement ring over to my right hand, as something different would soon be taking its place. I was off to be married. I was on my way to the arms of my husband.
I relished in every single minute of the “prettifying” part of my wedding day like it the sleepover party of my dreams. Surrounded by my favorite ladies (sisters Dawn and Kim, future SIL Cathy, bestie Mapo, future SIL Judith and my mom), getting the royal treatment, feeling full of joy, relaxed and openhearted, my body buzzing with anticipation. It was a fairy tale transformation that made me feel like a bad-ass princess, ready to take on the day, find my prince charming and waltz our way into our happily-ever-after.
Cinderella smile.
It started with my hairdresser Martina putting tight Shirley Temple curls all around my head….
Curlsplosion!
…which she then had to brush completely out to achieve the perfect look, before fastening my gorgeous, custom TS Tiara headband across me like a whimsical crystal halo. At this point, Martina had been my hairdresser for nearly 2 years by the point we reached this day. She’s adorable and bubbly and warm, and she made my hair look ultrafly. I loved having her there to share in the excitement.
tying the knot before tying the knot.
Meanwhile, my dress was waiting patiently….. showing off for the camera.
with my coat of many colors.
Even the dresses had their own special makeover party. A few days before the rehearsal, my wedding dress designer Deborah Lindquist saved the day by doing a last-minute alteration on my rehearsal dress. When we picked it up, she thrilled us with a generous offer to come over the morning of the wedding not only deliver but steam my dress and help me into it. You might remember that I worked with Deb for nearly a year, after bartering a work-trade for a discount on the gown, and we bonded through that experience. I was so touched when she offered to come help. That morning she surprised us by offering to also steam the bridesmaid’s dresses so everyone would look perfect. I felt so spoiled with love! Having her there was so special.
a colorful gaggle of tafetta.
I took care of some last minute hygiene (to make sure that first kiss would be as sweet as ever)
brusha brusha brusha!
And carefully nested the bottle of wine given to us by our friend Nick, who crafted us the most gorgeous box for the box ceremony….
here's hoping we don't meet again soon.
I swathed it in a vintage sari depicting the Baraat (an indian wedding processional) which was a recurring element in our paper goods.
yards of marital marching.
Paco wanted to wish me a happy wedding day, too.
today, we become a true family.
I checked in with my mom for some girlish giggly glee…
Mamaw, you look marvelous!
While my vows, our rings and a letter from our best homey in absentia to include in the box ceremony canoodled quietly. Our rings are nestled into a seashell from the beach in San Felipe on which Hunter proposed to me. My dad fastened a bit of ribbon onto the lip of the seashell with epoxy, we strung a ring on each side, and tied a bow. That way it could be passed around during the Ring Warming Ceremony (more to come on that) in a ‘cradle of love’, as-it-were.
Our rings sat in a seashell from the beach where he proposed.
I inserted my “cutlets” and maid of honor Dawn felt me up to make sure they were secure. I needed them to fill out the bustier of my dress a little better. What can I say, I”m a proud member of the itty bitty titty committee. These cutlets would prove to be the only thing that save me from certain death by mortification later that night.
Tune in tokyo.
Our incredible makeup gal, Jessica Rinsky, put the finishing touches on my momma’s lips. We found Jessica at the Laura Mercier counter at Nordstrom – The Grove, in a moment of desperation after a failed makeup trial elsewhere and hired her on the spot. Her personality and talent were bright shining stars! I am very particular about makeup… but she made me and my mother glow as if it were completely natural. If you don’t like feeling like you’re wearing lots of makeup, and want a really natural radiance, I totes recommend Laura Mercier’s line.
a perfect pout.
Then it was my turn to hop in the (effing fabulous) chair once more to get my final touchups done.
My sweatpants said "Love this Life" across the rear. And how I do.
Painting on the perfect pucker.
Waterproof mascara please (I'm a crier).
Pucker up, buttercup!
My ladies each signed the sole of my shoe, so their support would keep me sure-footed through the day.
What a gorgeous momma I've got!
Mapo drew a margarita. She knows me too well.
Sister Kim left her mark while Paco made a fort underfoot.
Let's play dress up!
….Then it was time to get in the gown! Come back for part 2: Dress up time!
Untouched by The Veronicas: This song gets my booty moving and is the perfect “getting things done” jam.
The Young Victoria: a gorgeous film with delicious costumes, sets, acting and an unbelievably touching love story that left me in awe of history.
Le Gorg
Bikram Yoga: many studios have a $20 introductory unlimited week for new students. Its perfect for winter, since it takes place in a hot humid room, and it is kick-starting my flab to fab and mental detox intentions for 2010 (as well as my ass). We’re doing the intro week here in Santa Fe and reaping the mental, emotional and physical rewards like crazycakes!
Sweat it out, yo.
Algabar Golden Pomegranate Loose Tea: An absolutely lipsmackingly delightful blend of rooibos (a naturally non-caffeinated red tea) along with all sorts of goodness that makes a party in my mouth. My dear friend Gail created this blend and it’s just divine! Especially when mixed with a little cream and sugar. Comfort, by the glass.
Infuse this!
Sonic Cherry Vanilla Diet Cokes: this holy grail of soda can be hard to find but worth a trip to get some… crushed ice and all. Whenever I’m in Santa Fe its a daily addiction, and every day between 2-4pm its Happy Hour (all drinks and slushes are 1/2 off yo!)
Mmmmmmm, soda.
It’s a Wonderful Life: My all time absolutely favorite holiday movie. Not only does it star my first true love, Jimmy Stewart, but its an incredibly uplifting and charming tale to remind us all of the impact we have in the world, and how loved we all are (even when all seems lost).
It’s a very exciting day here at Broke-Ass Headquarters….. We are begining a new series called Broke-Ass Testing Labs! Here we will test out and review all sorts of products from must have registry items, to Flab to Fab makers and things that, well… just tickle our fancy. Consider this our beta launch, ’cause we’ve got lots of ideas a-brewin’. But the one thing that will always remain true is we’ze gonna give it to ya straight – no amount of moolah can buy a good review ’round these parts! So, cut that ribbon ’cause The Broke-Ass Testing Lab is now open….. where we give you The Down Low, Straight up.
The introductory disclaimer says it all “P90x is an extreme workout”. Indeed it is, and your host for this adrenaline fiesta is a Mr. Tony Horton. I kind of feel like Tony Horton is a lovable, bulked up Michael Scott. There you are, trying to get your work done, but he’s hopping around to his supporting cast saying things like “He is the one man band man. I don’t know if that makes sense,” or with a kind of German Accent “Itz za German Potato Zoup!” Based off of the no non-sense marketing I expected a host who was too cool for school, but I got to say I appreciate the goofiness of Tony Horton’s lets have fun personality.
He’s a wiiild and craaazy guy!!!
My main issue with this series is that many of the exercises require you to have equipment such as bands, weights and pullup bars. This creates a problem since only a small DVD box set arrives, with no equipment. Sooooo the normal cost of P90x is $120, plus $20 shipping and comes with no equipment! Sure there are ways to modify the exercises, but I’d rather not worry about it. The video is set in a fully stocked gym, and the average workout is 1 hour, or (mostly) longer. The P90x promises a ripped body in 90 days; but if I’m spending $140 to get in shape, I would personally rather get a multi-month gym membership, where the classes AND the equipment are included.
That said, the P90x makes no false promises. The yoga workout was great, and the ab ripper is will definitely get you ripped. I felt like it ripped me, yo! If you are an intense exercise video fiend who has accrued equipment throughout the years, then I have no doubt following the P90x program will make you one ripped mamma jamma. I have friends who rave about the results. It even comes with a very easy-to-understand manual which helps you schedule your workouts (6 days per week) and puts you on track with a healthy diet plan. But if you are looking for a magic pill, then save your money, because otherwise you”ll be spending $140 on a small paperweight. The P90x is daunting, and for us, it’s just too over the top. We are definitely more of the Jillian Michaels Shred it for 20 minutes type of folks.
So if you like spending an hour to an hour and half exercising every day, but have no desire to go to a gym, then maybe the P90x is right for you; but I would buy the Jillian Michaels Shred for $10 and then get myself something really nice with the 140 bucks I just saved.
Confession: I am a big spoiled baby. I want what I want, and I want it now. Trying to save money sure can interfere with all that wanting, so it just don’t come natural ’round these parts. But I fancy myself a clever girl, and one of my most magical tricks in my Marry Poppins (get it? wedding nerd alert!) bag-o-tricks, is finding little ways to save that add up to some phat-ass savings in no time! And, cuz I loves ya, I’m about to divulge 10 good’uns to get you started!
1. Ditch your pricey shaving cream, and use your hair conditioner instead. Its a moisturizing and soothing lubricant generous with clean shaves and soft skin. You should have plenty leftover, after all, you really need only condition the lower half of your hair on any given day.
2. Kick Pam and her spritzy sisters to the curb. Fill a dollar store spritzer bottle with your favorite cooking oil, and control your flow for less! Forget pricey spray-oil aerosol cans, for good. Psst, this also works with salad dressing, yo. DIY calorie cutting, made easy.
3. Cancel your home phone. Use your cell and get a Skype account (its free) to stay connected to your loved ones, and your money.
4. Cut the cable cord. Get a digital antennae to get the basic channels, and sign up for netflix to keep up with your favorite cable series, new releases, and old favorites. It might even help save you time by eliminating the temptation of hundreds of channels.
5. Special occasion? Go out for a late lunch date and call it early dinner at your favorite restaurant and avoid the nighttime markup. See the matinee instead of the evening show. Go to the zoo or museum.
6. Get your R&R on: Refill & Recycle. At 7-11 you can refill your Big Gulp (or any cup) for just $0.99. Starbucks offers free refills to card carrying customers, and is starting a rewards program beginning Dec. 26th. Now you can justify your habit by saving green and being green.
7. Shacking up? Get your plans in order: car insurance, cell phone and other types of rate plans often offer family discounts to cohabitors. Even if you’re not married yet, you can whet your palate with those sweet family bonuses! Also double check your used minutes for the past few months – you might find that you don’t need so many after all.
8. If you’re anything like us, your clothes are endlessly wrinkled (and possibly notsofresh). But don’t waste your pennies on Wrinkle Release or Febreeze sprays! An old theatre trick is to mix half vodka (use something cheap) and half water, with a few drops of your favorite scent, in a spray bottle. Mist over clothes that need a pick-me-up and smooth down. The vodka not only helps release wrinkles but also freshens the scent of your clothes! Works like a charm every time.
9. Practice patience. This is a hard one, but it really works. If you are on the verge of making a purchase that you fear feeling shopper’s remorse for later, put it down and say to yourself “if I still want it tomorrow, I’ll come back for it (or buy it online)”. The pressure of wedding plans can make a girl feel rushed into many decisions just to be able to cross another item off the list. But don’t fall prey to panic spending. Use a sleep on it policy as often as possible, it could save you a bundle!
10. Forget your troubles, c’mon get happy… hours, that is! Learn the happy hour deals at your favorite haunts to score stellar savings while maintaining a social life and blowing off some steam. Within blocks of our house there are $2.50 margaritas to be had, people. I ain’t afraid to tell you, I know a good happy hour within 10 minutes of my house for every day of the week. It’s essential.
So go forth and save! … but first dish up some tips of your own, maybe they’ll be in the next top ten.
Hunter and I share our lives with a third partner, from whom we’re trying to break free. Procrastination. It is one of our great faults as a couple. It makes us late to almost every date (a rude and embarrassing habit, I know), it tempts us to create distraction in our lives. Don’t get me wrong, we always get things done on time, but always under the gun. Much as we try to fight it and cure it, it will always be in our family nature. So, leave it to us to be engaged for twenty months, and still not be woefully underprepared come May.
Soooooo, the last two weeks preceding our wedding were especially high-octane, go go go, last minute errand mayhem, combined with a volatile cocktail of emotions, family, and anticipation. It was like life was in fastforward! Seemingly developed as an evolutionary adaptation to my procrastinatory leanings, I have a keen ability to become intensely focused on the goal in these types of situations (which was how I kept from melting down constantly). But there were some very unexpected side effects of all that pressure, so listen close, my bridal biddies!
1. Weight loss. No secret I was down to drop a few extra pounds before strutting it in such a skin-tastic dress, but after 30+ years of being an emotional eater, I was shocked to find myself not only without appetite, but without even noticing. Normally I’m fantasizing about my next meal as I eat my current, but food was the farthest thing from my mind that week, and the pictures are the proof in the pudding. I would just forget to eat for hours! Thankfully, the dress still fit; however, it did end up being 2 inches too long because of the weight loss! More on this later.
Point? Eat, my little chickens! Carry almonds or granola bars in your purse and stash some in your glove compartment. Put reminders to eat in your calendar. Put it on your daily to-do list. Tell your MOH to be on food patrol. And schedule a fitting as close to the wedding as possible. You just never know how you’ll react to the stress, and you must be prepared for any eventuality. Anyway, whatever you eat will likely be burned off by your insanely high adrenaline making you a metabolism machine, if you’re anywhere near as last minute as I was!
2. Indecision. I was the master of all listmasters. I had it all mapped out by category. I had let go completely and was cutting out details left and right, prioritizing and organizing ceaselessly. But actual decisions were absolutely beyond my ability. Did I want a grande or venti chai latte? Crisis! The seating chart? A nightmare of second-guessing. Our honeymoon research lead us on a comic quest of questioning and confusion worthy of Laurel and Hardy, to the point that we ended up completely delegating it away. Yes, we asked Hunter’s sister to select the resort for us. It felt… amazing to be free of that choice. I’d ponder this or that for ages until someone would just simply say “do this one” and I was like…. “done“! Whatever they said, I was just happy to have the decision made for me. I was so drained by making executive calls, it felt like my mind was short circuiting. I remember thinking that the best part about the wedding being over was that I’d be done making decisions for a while. Romantic, right?
Looking back? Go with your gut. If you think you can cut something out, do it. You won’t miss it. Guess what? Most of these really hard decisions will be fine no matter which choice you make. I promise. And lean on your peeps. They can think more clearly than you right now anyway, so chances are they’ll have a better perspective. Delegate, and trust in their decisions, they’re there to help you!
3. Bride Brain. Everyone jokes about how swiss cheesy our brains get during the planning process, but sisters, I am here to tell you that Bride Brain is a serious ailment! I couldn’t retain any information – it was literally as if it travelled in one ear and out the other. I’d think “oh! We mustn’t forget to…”, and by the time I pulled out a piece of paper to write it down, I’d already forgotten what I had remembered.
The only treatment for bride brain is keeping detailed lists, but its most effective if you have someone (besides your future husband), to announce “things to remember” to, and then they’ll write it down. Teamwork, it’s the best way to ensure success. Otherwise you’ll be caught in yet another side effect: thinking you’re losing your mind. The only cure for bride brain is marriage, so just hang in there and trust that your memory will come back. It will.
4. Release. This was perhaps the biggest surprise of them all, because I’m not above becoming a bit of a bwitch when I’m stressed out. But this time, I was so overwhelmed by the support our friends and family were pouring into us, and staying focused on that gratitude kept my attitude right. And no lie, I was hella nervous that last couple of weeks. The crankypants did make a few brief appearances, but mostly they stayed in the closet. Instead I sported my happypants, and really focused on enjoying every moment of every moment. This was only gonna happen once, and I wanted to drink it all in smoothly.
The way I saw it was this: At some tipping point, the wedding takes on a life of its own. It is like a tidal wave – it’s coming, quickly, and fighting against the tide will only make you drown. The people around me love me, and are working their tails off to make sure we have a sturdy boat to sail in. So, I focused on reflecting back all the love I was receiving, and made peace and trusted that regardless of the details, we’d still be married, and that’s all that mattered. and then I started slashing items off our to-do lists, saying thank you (and meaning it), and it was more liberating than anything. To this day, I don’t miss a single detail that we eliminated. I never looked back. My bridezilla was banished, and everyone had much more fun without her.
5. (Now, don’t misunderstand…) I cried. A lot. I actually tried to let myself cry when it came, as much as possible, so my emotional dam wouldn’t back up and then overflow during the ceremony. There’s nothing wrong with crying, especially at a time like this. Read The Conscious Bride- it beautifully addresses the myriad and sometimes surprising emotions we brides encounter. Again my girls, the waves are a-rollin’…. just ride the tide. And it works! I felt much more in control of my tears during the wedding, and I think crying it out pretty regularly was much to credit for that. My favorite place to let it flow? The shower. Try it sometime.
I hope for your sake, that you’re more prepared than we were in those last few weeks. But, I betcha that no matter how “prepared” you are on paper, there are bound to be some emotional surprises for you, too! Everyone reacts differently in high-pressure situations, but this advice is universal: be gentle with yourselves and those around you, and remember to enjoy the ride.
Have you fallen prey to any unexpected side effects to pre-wedding stress? How do you cope?
If you’re like me, and endure a constant nagging craving for salty, crunchy delights but can’t bear the calorie counts on potato chips – meet my newest Flab to Fab secret weapon, and prepare to be satisfied! source
Don’t be scared off by the seaweed part, I promise you’ll luuuurve the flavor. They’re crispy and salty with a bit of nutty roasted sesame oil in there to satisfy the need for grease that we desire on occasion (c’mon, I know I’m not alone), and I adore that they come in handy individual snack packs! I carry them everywhere. One package contains only 25 calories, 1 gram of fat, and packs a whopping punch of vitamins A and C – making them the perfect replacement for chips any day of the week. Or, if you’re like me, every day of the week. I cannot. get. enough.
They also come in a sweetened variety, which I haven’t mustered the courage to try just yet, but if you have sampled them, let me know what you think!
Happy chomping, flab to fabbers! Hope you likey like I likey
Every once in a while (or, if you’re like me lately, every few days) a time comes in a person’s life when splurging is simply the requirement of the day. Your day’s splurge might be thanks to the blues, a celebration, hormones, boredom, entertaining, or any number of worthy (or unworthy) reasons…. but if you’re going to do it, you wanna do it up RIGHT.
Periodically, I happen upon a splurge so good that I want to share it here, but then I think to myself: “Self, this is not a healthy recipe! What will all the readers who look to you as a good example of fitness and dietsavvy think?” But after a few recent splurges too-good-to-withhold, I have decided that from time to time, I’ll share a favorite naughty recipe with y’all – because you deserve it! I mean, why should you suffer because of my guilt? It’s just too delicious to be nutritious!
To kick it off – my newest obsession…. MONKEY BREAD This melty, gooey, bready goodness is super easy to make and packs a major punch on a breakfast buffet or dessert platter. But beware, this stuff is mad addictive, and you should probably cover your lap with a napkin – both because this stuff is so ooooeygooey and drippydroppy, and to also hide the oft-embarrassing foodboner you’re sure to pop when enjoying it!
Ingredients:
4 cans refrigerated biscuits (I prefer the flakey kind)
1 1/2 tablespoons cinnamon
1/2 cup butter
1 cup white sugar
1 cup brown sugar, packed
Pre-heat oven to 350. Pull your biscuits apart and rip into smaller pieces (roughly 4 per biscuit). Try not to eat too much of the raw biscuit dough, like I always do! Mix your biscuit bits with thecinnamon and white sugar and pack into a buttered bundt pan. In the meantime, heat the brown sugar and butter together until melted, and pour over the top of the biscuit mix in the pan. Bake for about 45 minutes, let cool, and invert onto plate. Enjoy!
This shiz is too yummy to not try! You can easily make smaller batches, using a loaf pan and only 1 can of biscuits and a shorter cook time. Just eyeball the cinnamon, sugar, and butter amounts. Its not a perfect science, if you like it more or less sweet/gooey, do it up to your tastes!
So, there you have it, your first taste of temptation. Its eeeeevil, like fru-its of the dev-il! But, oh so mouthwateringly irresistible!
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