Posts in the 'Liz' Category
September 3rd, 2010 by liz
Oh, I know how it goes. You’re on a budget – a strict budget. And finding vendors, especially the triumvirate – your venue, catering and photographer - can be frustrating. You can spend a lot of weekends searching and meeting and pricing and at some point, you may think to yourself: screw it, I’m just going to go with this place/vendor because I just don’t want to look any more. Even though it’s thousands of dollars over our budget, we’ll make it work. Somehow.
Wow, think how pretty this centerpiece would be at half the size!
NO. Giving up is not an option, you just have to think about it differently. Seriously, even if it doesn’t feel like you have time, you actually do, so let time take the place of money. One more hour-long online research session or $1,000? One more weekend or $5,000? I think we all known the right answers. But don’t set yourself up, either. The wedding site that starts at $100 per person is not going to chop their rates in half for you. Stay away from couture gowns unless you’re willing to go pre-owned. Steak and lobster are expensive if you’re not having your wedding in Mexico. If you have to save money, stay away from these options. It’s the same reason I avoid the shoe section in Macys – the heart covets what the eye sees. Take a deep breath, take a break, scream out loud and stomp your feet if you have to, then ask around and use the resources you have to find the resources you need. It’s not true that what you’re looking for isn’t possible or available, you just haven’t found it, yet. And the last vendor you met with is not the last choice that you have.
Turn away from the light! Specifically, lights like this one, they're expensive.
In a way, it’s a lot like dieting. The Wedding Stuff is gorgeous, you KNOW it’s going to taste great, but it’s not going to help you reach your goal. As a matter fact, it’s going to send you careening in the opposite direction. I’m not the girl telling you that it’s always going to be easy. But as Dumbledore would say, wedding planning can often be a choice between what is easy, and what is right. Or in this case, right for you and your bank account. And you are going to feel like such a rock star at the end of the day, guaranteed.
Letting time take the place of money should extend past your Big Three picks, too. I’m not just talking about DIY, I’m talking about sitting down with your other vendors, actual and potential, and figuring out how to cut costs. You can get invite kits at Target or Michael’s, or you can ask about cheaper options in an email to online vendors or ask at the stationery store. Just because it’s not in front of the store on the home page, doesn’t mean it’s not there. Go for the massive centerpieces, or ask how you can get comparable pretty for a lower price? One hour of your life (plus travel, maybe) vs $500 (plus postage!). Again, you know the answer to that one, too. Less flowers, more candles? Printing instead of calligraphy? Make your own favors or do away with them all together? What can you pick up and deliver yourself? And since it’s your money, or even your family’s money, don’t worry about what other people think.
Take the time and save the money! So, how have you let time take the place of money? Or do you have any questions about how to go about doing that with your wedding?
This Week’s Wedding Deals:
Courtesy of Etsy.com
Oooh, Etsy. I should stay away from that site just like I stay away from that site, but every week they get more and more of my money. This week, they’re rocking the birdcage veils, starting for as little at $20, like this one. You’re welcome!
Wedding Chicks and Green Bride Guide are teaming up to give one lucky reader a $300 shopping spree. Green Bride Guide is one of the most comprehensive and credible resource for eco-friendly wedding ideas, products and services. Just go their online store, pick out a few of your favorite items, and leave a comment about them on this post on Wedding Chicks. The winner will be picked next Thursday, September 9th.
And if that’s not enough, Green Bride Guide also has a coupon code that’s good for $10 off any purchase of $50 or more. Just Type in “10OFF50″ at checkout.
For real, for serious, you need to sign up for the Broke-Ass Brigade newsletter. It’s finally about to launch and it promises to be jam packed with hella awesome deals, squeals, and steals… and its going to be the exclusive way to get them. So sign up, why dontcha?
See you at the end of the aisle, and enjoy the long weekend,
August 27th, 2010 by liz
Ah, the end of summer is fast approaching. On my blog this summer, I started listing all the cool wedding pics, accessories, cakes, what have you that I found online… pretty much anything that made me squee out loud. Just in case you missed them, here’s a few of this year’s faves:
When Zombies Attack...Your Wedding
I’m just saying, I want a man who will stand back to back with me against an army of zombies, even if I was the one who had to bring the chainsaws. Luckily, that man is in my house right now. And the chainsaws? Are in the garage.
Yeah. That's it.
When I saw this, my first thought was, “Groom’s Cake!” My second thought was “Breakfast.” Whatever you’d want it for, it’s all awesome.
All it needs are the balloons...
Oh, you know you cried through the opening montage of UP, too. Some lovely man did one better and had a model of the house in the move made into a ring box to propose to his fiancee. Do you think she can ever get mad at him, again?
Useful and YUMMY.
In these eco-concious and health-conscious days that we live in, these are the perfect wedding placecards. And they’re almost as easy to make as they look.
Soft, fuzzy and out-of the box. Everything a wedding bouquet should be. (Courtesy of the Duck Collective)
This is another one of those ideas that makes me want to have a re-commitment ceremony some day, because this is totally the bouquet I would have. Or this one, courtesy of Martha Stewart (of course):
Smile, your wedding is going to rock!
And this one? This one just makes me smile. Molly Ann, the photographer, is known for her cool wedding ring pics. This is my all-time favorite one.
So, what are the coolest wedding things you’ve seen out there? And seriously, how about that donut cake, huh?
This Week’s Wedding Deals:
Heads up if you’re in Los Angeles this weekend – Encore Bridal is having a sample sale. Get the most beautiful designer and couture bridal gowns, jewelry and accessories at up to 60% off.
There’s a new wedding reality show coming to town, and they’re looking for brides this fall. The CW and the creators and producers of “THE BIGGEST LOSER” have come together to give one lucky couple their dream wedding. With help from fitness experts, couples will compete in weekly challenges to shed those extra pounds on the way to the end of the aisle. So, if you and your fiance must want to lose between 50-100 lbs each, Please send pictures of the both of you to Lisette Pinnon at castingtoshed@gmail.com along with a brief description of yourselves and what you want for your dream wedding. Be creative – theme weddings are a plus!
Brooke Fitts of Brookelyn Photography, and You + ME* Lifestylists have teamed together for a great contest – readers can win a free photo shoot styled by You+Me. You+Me helps you build those special moments in your life, whether it’s the perfect birthday surprise or dinner party, a fabulous vacation, anything you need that requires just the right combination of pretty things, thoughtful gestures, and personal touches. To enter, just hop over to Brooke’s website and leave a comment on You+Me’s blog, letting them know which of Brooke’s pics is your favorite. The only caveat is that you have to be able to come to New York City between October 4 and 9.
See you at the end of the aisle,
August 20th, 2010 by liz
Yes, a Friday Wedding in January can be this much fun. (Picture courtesy of B&G Photography)
Ah, the pleasure of having options. By now, you’ve already found out that most wedding venues have off-peak days. They’re less expensive on Fridays and Sundays and less expensive for lunch than for dinner. And there’s off-peak seasons, too. Here In Los Angeles, for instance, winter is usually pretty open. We like outdoor weddings here, and that’s not really something that you can do in the middle of January. And August is not that popular a month in Midwest and Southeast, when the heat is rivaled only by the humidity. This is where air-conditioned indoor venues come in handy.
And you can make your own off-peak wedding day, too. A photographer I worked with a few weeks ago floated the idea of creating your own three day weekend by having your wedding on any given Monday. Your out-of-town guests can fly in on a Saturday or Sunday, have a great time in your city and then fly out on Tuesday, when airfare is generally cheaper. In-towners only need to leave work early to join in the fun. And it’s also another strategy to cut down your guest list, since there are lots of folks who won’t be able to do it, and insures that those who really want to be there will be there. I know, I know, it sounds a little cutthroat, but all’s fair at $79.95 a person!
So, where do you start?
First of all, you need to figure out what “off-peak” means in the city you live in. Any given wedding vendor, from a photographer to a hotel manager, to a florist can tell you that, just like I told you about L.A. Then you need to decide what other parts of “off-peak” you’re comfortable with. If you want to have an outdoor wedding, February in New York is not going to work. Your wedding on a weeknight? Lunch instead of dinner? The last one gives you a little more time at the end of the day to hang with your sweetie and with your friends, but the idea of dancing until dawn has some powerful mojo, too.
From there, start venue shopping, and the usual rules apply. Confirm what their off-peak times are. Start with your budget, cut half of that, let them know that’s what you have to spend on your wedding and reception, and see what they can do.
And your guests. First of all, give them plenty of notice – this is where Save the Dates come in handy. And, there are two tactics you can employ to explain why your wedding is on a Tuesday in the middle of November. The first is a story – I coordinated a wedding on September 21st a few years back, picked because the couple liked the song (Earth, Wind and Fire – “do you remember/the 21st night of September…”). Or, Wednesday, July 14th is Bastille Day. Or you’re having your wedding on Monday to celebrate the first weekday of the rest of your lives, by making everyone take it off. Come up with something fun and/or memorable. The second explanation is the truth, whatever it is. You’re trying to save money, you can’t take the weekend off for some reason, most of your guests are in town, any variation of those. Pick one, stick to it, don’t over explain, tell them that you hope they can make it. Because that’s the truth, too.
So, how did you have an off-peak wedding? Or what do you think of any of the ideas here?
This Week’s Wedding Deals
The Knot is continuing their August sales fest, so get your bridesmaid gifts here! Unfortunately, most of my friends are already married, so I’ll have to find another excuse to get this $9.99 water bottle, which I want very badly. But, hey, my birthday is coming up, cross your fingers!
Exquisite Weddings in Chicago is offering a fabulous deal on wedding flowers through wedobo – 50% off 8 wedding party pieces, the bridal bouquet, three bridesmaids bouquets, groom and three groomsmen boutonnieres.
See you at the end of the aisle,
August 13th, 2010 by liz
Yay!
This is pic is from the first same-sex wedding ceremony I coordinated back in 2007. The next year, Sarah and Pam did it all over again all legal-like, as one of the lucky 18,000 couples who got married before Prop 8 passed. Starting Wednesday, a lot more couples in California are going to be able to join them, so congrats to you all for the massive win yesterday. Congratulations to all of us really – an expansion of rights for any of us is an expansion of rights for all of us. Let me know if you need anything, okay? 
So, in the past three weeks, I’ve been hired by three new couples, so, you know, yay me. But the point is they are all so different, and want such different things for their weddings, it just reminded me of how much I LOVE the stuff you guys come up with. Penny and Sheldon are actual rocket scientists and they want a wedding cake shaped like the solar system. Michaela and Steven are getting married on an Air Force Base and are all ready to choose the flavors for their must-have ice cream buffet. Traci and Bennett want to build their reception around the Ferris Wheel at their venue. And they’re all so excited that I can’t help but get excited right along with them. It’s part of my job, even.
But, truthfully, I have favorite things at every wedding, the moments I love to see and be a part of.
The First Look
It's the smiles that get me every time.
The first time the couple sees each other at their wedding is my all-time favorite wedding moment. Whether they’ve decided to do that before the ceremony or at the beginning of it, I always make sure I’m right there to see it. That’s what it’s all about – the two of them and the journey they’ve finished and the one they’re about to start. It’s all about the love, baby.
The Cake
I have never met a wedding cake I didn’t love. Sure, I like butter cream frosting the best, but I won’t turn down fondant, either. It’s chewy, like licorice, and licorice is God’s candy. Nothing wrong with that. But if anyone tells you that I’ve ever had more than one slice, they’re lying, okay? That second piece was totally for my husband. And the third piece, too. What?
Yummy Sweet Chewiness!
The First Dance
Special, romantic, and also a great source of about 25% of the music in my itunes library. Big smiles all around. I love this gig.
Life is but a dream...(courtesy of Winnie Cheng Photography)
I really do have one of the best jobs in the world. But what’s your favorite wedding moment? What are you looking forward to at your own wedding? Also, given what I’ve covered in past posts, and what’s going on with your own wedding, let me know what topics you’d like me to cover next week, too.
This Week’s Wedding Deals:
Photographer Gina Zeider is looking for an out-of-the box, unique photo shoot idea, and she’ll do it with you. What do you feel passionate about? Leave a comment describing your idea on her blog today and this weekend, and she’ll choose the winner on Monday. Go forth and dream!
Preownedweddingdresses.com is giving away 5 pairs of earrings from the super stylish Amelia Rose Jewelry Collection – a perfect gift for bridesmaids.
Speaking of chewy yumminess, Wedobo.com – think of it as Groupon for weddings – is going to let you have a box of 18 (life-changing) salted carmels at only $4 each, discounted from $7. These were favors at the last wedding I did, and no, I didn’t take a bag of these home with me, either. You can even customize the labels for them. You’re welcome!
Make sure to sign up for the soon-to-be launched Broke-Ass Bride weekly newsletter – which will be the only place to access deals, steals, and freebies like these… and then some! Get up on it!
See you at the end of the aisle,
August 6th, 2010 by liz
I don’t watch bridal shows on television. Bridezilla makes me anxious, Platinum Weddings creeps me out, and even David Tutera has become a little too condescending for his own good. But I can’t stay away from the movies. Put Julia Roberts in a Vera Wang and I’m all over it. I think it’s because these movies are hardly ever about the mechanics of weddings, they’re about the relationships involved. But some of them definitely offer insight on how to (and how not to) manage both:
Bride Wars
Courtesy of entertainmentwallpaper.com
Marion St. Claire: A wedding marks the first day of the rest of your life. You have been dead until now. Were you aware of that? You’re dead right now.
Emma: I understand.
Marion St. Claire: [Nodding over to her assistant] Angela, for example, will die dead.
Oh, God, NO. I had completely blocked this flick from my memory when I was coming up with movies for this post, because just thinking about it makes me twitch. I was so uncomfortable that I knew I had to leave out “The Wedding Planner” just so I could talk about this one. “Bride Wars” Is one of the worst cinematic examples of girl-on-girl crime every filmed. Even though Liv and Emma do both end up getting married at the Plaza, they still hate on each other in the most vicious, passive-aggressive manner, when this would be the perfect opportunity for so-called life-long friends to find many, many ways to make the situation work. And I know that this is fiction, but the fact that this is out there in the universe offends me greatly, the off-handed shrug, “Well, you know, that’s just the way women are!” Gah! But there are things to be learned here. For one, check all your contracts to make sure you’re getting what you need. When something goes wrong, the first question you ask, while you’re silently wondering if you’ve been cursed and why these things always happen to you, is, “Okay, so what can we do about it?” And if you meet with any vendor who finds it necessary to criticize other vendors, or, even worse, their own staff, yeah, RUN. It happens. And, yes, your wedding does mark the first day of the rest of your life. But so does today. And tomorrow. So chill.
Rachel Getting Married
Kym: I am Shiva the destroyer, your harbinger of doom this evening.
Courtesy of weblo.com
As I once said to another Annual Pass holder, “Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. But you can bring a human pocket of unhappiness with you.” Same thing goes for weddings. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Kym, the human pocket of unhappiness. She’s just back from rehab, sleeps with the best man, gets into a fist-fight with her mother, hijacks her sister’s wedding rehearsal dinner with a step in her 12-step program, and generally behaves badly. And it’s no one’s fault but her own. So, when your sister/bridesmaid/future mother-in law/groomsmen (boys can be bitchy, too, and how) is giving you a hard time about whatever, remember – it’s not about you, it’s about them. You’re just trying to get married and be happy, and it’s not your fault that they find that annoying. Smile, and keep moving towards the aisle. Plus, I just LOVED the actual wedding in this movie – home-grown -ish, and filled with all the things that were important to the bride and groom, including lots and lots of music. You can have the wedding you want, no matter what else is going on around you. Anne Hathaway filmed this movie after she filmed Bride Wars, so I like to think she was trying to restore her karmic balance. I’ll give it to her.
27 dresses
Courtesy of Telegraph.co.uk
Kevin [motions to a "Gone With the Wind"-style dress] What the hell is that?
Jane: Theme wedding.
Kevin: What was the theme? Humiliation?
As I’ve said before, your wedding party is happy to be a part of your wedding. Don’t make them unhappy to be a part of your wedding day. When something you’ve requested is over the top or will cause duress – you know when you’ve gone too far. If it sounds wrong in your head, it’s wrong. Also, weddings are not the place to, as the main character Jane’s friend Casey says, “unleash twenty years of repressed feelings in one night.” Turn towards the light, y’all. But I have to say that I love the ending of that movie, because Jane was right – she was there for her bride friends, and they ended up being there for her, in those horrible dresses, no less.
Shakespeare in Love
Courtesy of www.greatbooksandfilm.com
Phillip Henslowe: Mr. Fennyman, allow me to explain about the theatre business. The natural condition is one of insurmountable obstacles on the road to imminent disaster.
Hugh Fennyman: So what do we do?
Phillip Henslowe: Nothing. Strangely enough, it all turns out well.
Hugh Fennyman: How?
Phillip Henslowe: I don’t know. It’s a mystery.
I told a friend of mine that I was going to use this movie and she replied, “What’s the moral? Don’t marry the man you love, marry the guy that has the money?”
NO.
Insurmountable obstacles on the way to imminent disaster… sound familiar? You’ve worked so hard on your wedding, dotted your i’s, crossed your t’s. It has, truthfully, become your part-time job, and is maybe taking up more time than your real one. But stuff is going to go wrong along the way, or even on your wedding day itself. But it’s going to all work out, even if all your reception chairs don’t match, even if the caterer is late showing up with your appetizers. At the end of the day, you’re marrying the love of your life, surrounded by the people who love you both the most in the world (whether they act like it or not), and you’ve done the best you can to plan a wonderful day. It’s no mystery.
So, what are some of your favorite wedding movies? There’s going to be a Part The Second, so let me know which you would like me review next time around.
This Week’s Wedding Deals:
Wedding Chicks continues to bring the cool with this next deal, but you have to use it by today. Yes, I know, it’s always something. Use the code weloveyou to receive 40% off your order in their shop. Forty Freakin’ Percent. Go!
Still need some form of wedding stationery? Save the Dates, Invites, Place cards, Programs, etc? TinyPrints.com has a slew of discount coupons this week -
TPFAN – $10 off orders of $49 or more
AFFNEW – $10 off orders of $59 or more
PRT2010 – 10% off orders of $40 or more
And At Hello Lucky, you use the code 12WS to get 15% off wedding stationery orders of $99 or more.
Alfred Angelo is having a bridal gown sale until August 15th – save $50 – 300 on your dress, just download the coupon on their site and drop by.
Weddingish.com is slashing 50% off their personalized porcelain dishes – great gifties for bridesmaids!
People! Sign up for the soon-to-be launched Broke-Ass Bride weekly newsletter – which will be the only place to access deals, steals, and freebies like these… and then some! This might be your last warning. Or it might not. Only time will tell
You’re welcome! Anytime, that’s why I’m here.
See you at the end of the aisle,
July 30th, 2010 by liz
It is a truth universally acknowledged that the average groom is not interested in planning his wedding. No offense, the story goes, but it’s just not his thing. All the dresses and all the pretty and matching colors and flowers and the squealing and who’s going to sit where, and yes, it all really matters (and it does), but they’re more than happy to let you figure out all of that sh…uh, stuff.
If he doesn't care about this, it means he loves you.
But I’ve been running into a lot of grooms lately. Clients, potential clients, non-clients in the same room as clients and potential clients, TV characters, Macys. What can I say? It’s summer and they’re everywhere.
Some of them are there willingly. Some of them do it because you want them to be there.
Groom maintenance starts with these questions, and be honest: Does he want to be involved, or do you want him to be involved? OR do you just want him to want to be involved? They’re different things. For instance, on Entourage this week, Sloane wanted Eric to look at these flower arrangements she liked, and he couldn’t have cared less. Why didn’t he care about the flowers? Because he didn’t. You know what he cared about? Marrying her. The #1 rule of Groom Maintenance is: Let him not care about what he doesn’t care about. Because what he really cares about is you. Priorities, people.
Don’t get me wrong - at Silver Charm Events, I’m noticing that grooms are actively participating more these days. But I’m also noticing that the majority are only actively participating in the stuff they’re interested in. Chris is a musician, so he organized the three bands he and Sheila had at their wedding. Mike has to have a certain type of scotch, so he’s in charge of the bar. Or they’re like Devon and Peter, who had to take over most of the wedding planning because Sarah was in Japan and Theresa was in law school. And, of course, as more and more couples are paying for their own weddings, more and more grooms are making more and more decisions.
So, instead of telling him what you want him to do, ask him what he wants to do, and what he wants your wedding to look and feel like. It may prove difficult to get an answer. If so, do what I do during wedding consultations – ask him what he doesn’t want. Because he definitely knows that. There is going to be at least one thing that he absolutely, positively does not want at your wedding, and you need to know what that is right now. Find out now, because you will find out later. Many a bride has been blindsided when their fiance suddenly pulled the brakes on one of their ideas – knowing is half the battle.
Groom maintenance continues by keeping him informed of the choices that you’re making. Eric, I’m looking at flower arrangements this week. Do you want to see any examples before I make a decision? No? Then move on, and be okay with the reply, “Whatever you want is fine”, because he means that. Eric, we need to schedule a food tasting , do you want to come? Yes? Let me know when you’re available. On the other hand, if he really wants to be a part of every decision, let him. Less pressure on you. More compromise, but definitely less pressure, so enjoy it.
Don’t blindside him, either. Repeat: If he mentioned something, he cares about it. So, if he mentioned it…He expects it to happen. If there is some reason that it can’t, don’t let him find out when it doesn’t. Tell him beforehand and work it out.
Yes, Communication and Acceptance are the cornerstones of Groom Maintenance. Of marriage, too, by the way, so it’ll be good practice.
How’s your groom doing? What is it that he definitely does or doesn’t want at your wedding?
Oh, and Congrats and best wishes to our own Britt, who’s getting married tomorrow! Knock it out the box, kid.
This Week’s Deals
DIY alert! Sign up for the Michaels Arts and Craft Store newsletter, and get a coupon for 40% off your next purchase. You’re welcome!
Forget Me Not Weddings and Ban.do, the ultra chic design studio, are teaming up to give away two flower clips from their bridal collection, like this beauty right here. To enter, visit ban.do and leave a comment on Forget Me Not’s blog about the piece you like the most, deadline is August 4th. 
Bustle Events in San Francisco is sponsoring a great giveaway that’s good anywhere. Calligraphy by Jennifer is giving away a 15% discount off her services, plus 25 thank you cards, to one lucky reader. To enter, leave a comment on Bustle’s blog about your favorite item on Jennifer’s website by August 3rd. GO.
For you L.A. locals, have I got a deal for you! Really want to have a cupcake tower at your wedding? How about 20% of any order of the yummiest in town? Temptations Cupcakes, baby. Try the Hanky-Panky Pineapple Coconut, it will change your life.
Last call (no, not really) to sign up for the soon-to-be launched Broke-Ass Bride weekly newsletter – which will be the only place to access deals, steals, and freebies like these… and then some!
See you at the end of the aisle,
July 23rd, 2010 by liz
Congratulations! You haven’t had the shiny, shiny diamond on your finger long enough to get a ring tan, so now it’s time to put first things first. If the bridal show is your first bridal rite of passage, your invite list is the first bridal gauntlet run. After the wedding date, it’s the primary question any venue is going to ask: How many guests are you having? Well, let’s see…
It is a truth universally recognized that the more guests you have, the more you’re going to have to spend on your wedding. 20 guests at, say, $50 per person (not including tax and service, of course) is $1,000. Once you figure out how many guests you have, you can reasonably figure out how much you’re going to have to spend.
Where to begin, where to begin? First of all, before you get your list together, try to avoid making any promises to anyone. Don’t tell them the date (though you should have this figured out before you start), don’t promise to send them an invite, don’t even go as far as to say that you’re trying to keep it small. If they ask, just tell them that you “haven’t even gotten that far.” Because you haven’t. Do not add “But I’ll let you know.” Managing expectations is the first step to managing your guest list. Make sure your fiance gets the memo on that one.
So, let’s say that your initial estimate is 100 guests, and that’s also how many guests you want at your wedding. That’s fine, but don’t just guess how many guests you’re going to have, write it down. I’m a big fan of doing things in batches, so you should each make a list of the first 25 people who come to mind, which will probably include your families and close friends. Multi-task to make it less of a task. Schedule a time to do it together, over dinner or something. Then, while you’re still sitting down, add another 25 each, which will get you to 100. Make sure you’ve added everyone’s significant others. Don’t worry about addresses right now. Check each others lists for duplicates. Then send the list off to your parents or anyone else who could possibly have a say, and give them a week to get back to you.
You now have entirely too many people on your guest list.
But it’s not time to be ruthless, not just yet.
Who ARE all these people? (Photo courtesy of Sun Dance Photography)
Now that you have the “master” list, divide it into 3 categories:
1. The people you absolutely want and who need to be there, even if it’s political (Boss and his wife, your Dad’s new step-children, you get the idea).
2. The people you know probably won’t be able to make it for whatever reason, but who will need an invite anyway.
3. The people one or both of you have never heard of, or have a passing acquaintance with. Include those who you know don’t care if they get an invite or not.
Make a note next to each name, as to who submitted it – you, him or your family. Okay, now is the time to get ruthless.
How many folks do you have to cut? Let’s say it’s a semi-drastic amount, like 50 (= $2500). Breathe. Statistically speaking 10-15% of all of your invitees will decline, but you can never tell which ones! No, really, BREATHE.
First of all, eliminate the folks in #2, who you are 85-90% sure are not going to show. We’re talking about your cousin in Zimbabwe, your college roommate who’s due to have twins halfway around the country at that time, your mentor who’s going to be on the last Space Shuttle mission, you know who these people are. Make a note if you have to send them an invite anyway.
Okay, where are you now? Time to tackle the names in #3. Schedule a time to start with your lists, first. Who are these people that one of you has never heard of or doesn’t know? Do they really need to be invited to your wedding, and be expected to attend? Can any of them be put into list #2? Which ones already know about it, which ones have expressed an interest in attending? You can eliminate more people right there.
It’s your parents’ names in this category that could be the hardest. You each need to deal with your own set. Come armed with specific names. Be nice about it, mention your budget, that you would really like to invite everyone, but you can’t, and ask them the same questions that you’ve asked each other. Thank them for understanding. If you don’t have that type of relationship with your parents, now is a good time to start.
Guest list still too big? Repeat the process. I never said this was going to be easy! If you’re still having problems, eliminate any co-workers, teammates, or other business associates. Once you realize that this is what you have to do, start floating around the idea that this will be a small wedding that’s going to be mostly family and family friends. Don’t use the term “close friends” because you’re affirming that they are not in that category, which is.. mean? Tacky? Just avoid it.
Where are you having problems cutting your list? And what tactics/rules are you using to get it done? Let me know and ask your questions in the comments!
This week’s deals:
WeddingChannel.com and Us Weekly are launching their 3rd Annual “Dream Wedding” program – a contest for celeb-loving engaged couples to win a $100,000 Hollywood-style wedding. Wedding planned entirely by WeddingChannel.com and their fabulous A-list wedding experts? Check! Wedding profiled in Us Weekly magazine and Wedding Channel.com? Check! You have until Thursday, July 29 to enter at www.usmagazine.com/wedding. On August 3rd, 10 couple finalists will be announced, and America votes for their favorite couple. The Dream Wedding winning couple will be announced online on August 13th, and the wedding planning begins!
Rima Campbell photography is giving away a free destination wedding photography package. Follow the link for details, and good luck!
Alajon Printing and Design is offering 100 letterpress invitations and enclosure cards, like the one right here, for only $439, which at less than $5 each is such a steal.
David’s Bridal, always upping their game, is selling Wedding Invitations, too. DIY kits start at $24.00, and pre-printed invitations start at $59.00 for 100.
Everything in The Knot.com Shop is 15% off. Yes, Everything.
Oh, and take a look at Candy Buffet 101 at Project Wedding. Find out how to put one together, and how to put it together under budget. Enjoy!
People! Have you signed up for the soon-to-be launched Broke-Ass Bride weekly newsletter! We’ve been hooking up some ahhhhmazing exclusive giveaways, deals, steals and more… you won’t want to miss out!
See you at the end of the aisle,
July 16th, 2010 by liz
…’Til Your Wedding Day? Don’t get sedated. Just get ready.
Yes. I did just type that. When it comes to weddings, I have no shame.
It's On It's Way...
The first thing you do need to do is to not panic. You’ve spent months, heck, years, even, planning this day, so you have to believe that everything is going to be fabulous. And it will be, I promise. But like Jesus (or maybe it was Winston Churchill) said, “Faith without works is dead.”
Dawn is fast approaching. Let’s get started.
So, what else do you need?
You need to pack for the next day. Comfortable clothes and shoes for before the wedding, including a button-down shirt so you don’t mess up your hair and make-up when you get undressed in order to get into your dress. Double-check that you have all your accessories. As far as what you need during the wedding, here’s the emergency kit that I bring to all my weddings, with a list of what’s in it, so you can build your own. It lives in my car in the meantime – you’d be surprised how much this stuff comes in handy on a regular basis! When you’re about to walk into a meeting and look down and realize that you’re covered in dog hair, the lint roller is a life-saver. Sigh. I don’t want to talk about it, I just keep it in the back seat.
If you’re like me, and you can’t keep a manicure decent for 48 hours, the day before your wedding is the time to have one, plus, it’s a nice way to relax. That’s the great thing about manicures – pretty much the only thing you can do during it is, well, have a manicure. Bring a bridesmaid or two with you.
However, the day before your wedding is NOT the time to get a bikini wax. Just trust me on that one.
Smile! You're gettitng married tomorrow!
You need to figure out when and where you’re going to eat before your wedding. You know how I feel about that. Eat breakfast, even if you don’t normally eat breakfast. If you’re staying at a hotel the night before, order room service, schedule a time to go downstairs and eat in the restaurant, or make sure that someone is going to bring you sustenance. It’s going to be a long day. Don’t be a hero. If you know you’re going to imbibe freely at your rehearsal dinner the night before, make sure you have your proven hangover remedies available. And drink water, plenty of water. Pee before you put on your dress!
Hopefully, you’ve spent the week before confirming your vendors, and if you’ve missed someone, give them a quick call before your rehearsal dinner. Call, not email, because there’s a better chance that you’ll be able to get a hold of them, and that they’ll be able to get back to you. And you already have the best numbers to reach everyone on your wedding day, right, just in case it’s a different number? That goes for any family and friends that are going to be helping you out, too. Your wedding rehearsal is a great time for this. Confirm – nicely – what it is they have agreed to do, and when they’ve agreed to do it. Give them whatever materials and supplies they need to get the job(s) done. And don’t forget to say Thank You!
Make a list of everyone who needs to be paid on the big day, and write all your checks and separate your cash out, including tips, then decide how and where you’re going to take it with you tomorrow. Ah, yes, tips? Hairstylist, Make-up artist, Limo driver, bartender(s), although that last one is considered a judgment call if they have a tip jar at the bar. You’re welcome!
What are you worried about getting taken care of the day before your wedding? I’m taking your questions in the comments!
This Week’s Deals:
You New Yorkers are in luck – The Wedding Salon is holding their next Wedding Bootcamp on Monday, July 19th at Dylan’s Candy Bar. This educational seminar features the best vendors from the weddings industry who will teach you how to avoid hidden costs and save money, and give you step by step details, loopholes and “tricks of the trade.” Plus, cake, cocktails and candy, of course. The really lucky part? Use the code BABNC when you register online for two complimentary tickets.
And, also in NYC, Wedding Cabaret is doing a free portrait session giveaway, and if you don’t win, you can still take advantage of her special: a one-hour portrait session with a CD of high resolution images for only $75 between July 17-22nd. The shoot style is up to you – engagement, boudoir, trash the dress… whatever tickles your fancy!
For you DIY brides who want to save money on your bouquets and arrangements, RealSimple.com is helping you out with a per-stem cost breakdown of the most popular wedding flowers. This is only one of the reasons why I keep renewing my subscription to the magazine.
David’s Bridal’s $99 sale goes until July 26th. Pretty, pretty gowns at low, low prices. Have fun!
Wedding Chicks is having a 50% off sale in their online shop, just use the code “weddingchannel” to take advantage of the store-wide discount.
Speaking of wedding channel, today is your last day to vote for Broke-Ass Bride as Best Budget Wedding Blog on WeddingChannel.com. Go, click, vote… please, and thankyouverymuch!
And don’t forget to sign up for the soon-to-be launched Broke-Ass Bride weekly newsletter! It will soon be your only access to great deals like these, plus tons of exclusive steals, giveaways and content we’re lining up for ya!
See you at the end of the aisle,
July 2nd, 2010 by liz
Liz As A Young(-ish) Bride.
Oh, Lord, here we go.
I wasn’t going to say anything, I really wasn’t. But then I saw another blog post about a couple that had a $10,000 wedding. I had one myself, so I’m drawn to these stories like a moth to a flame. How did they do it? How did they get more bang for their buck with a budget wedding? Was it the same way I did? Well, no.
You, too, have seen this story before. They got married in her grandpa’s barn in Nebraska, with centerpieces made of flowers from his mother’s garden, and had a luncheon buffet for 250 catered by the local barbecue joint that her uncle owns. His grandmother made the cake. The bride wore her mother’s altered wedding dress (altered by her mother) and the groom pulled out the suit he wore for his high school graduation. And since they saved so much money on their wedding, they were able to hire the best wedding photographer in Lincoln, for the princely sum of $800. Nebraska, you know.
See what I mean? Not everyone has these options. In fact, most people don’t.
I had this conversation with another wedding pro a few months ago. A $10,000 wedding for 100 guests is a very popular goal these days. $100 per guest seems extravagant, even. If you don’t include renting the venue. Or feeding them what usually comes to a three-course meal. With a bar. Oh, and tax and tip (known in the Wedding World as the “service charge”). I want to be clear so I don’t get yelled at: A $10,000 wedding is totally possible, but there’s work and patience involved in order to make it happen. Everyone’s two favorite words, right?
So, how did I do it?
When you’ve got a limited amount of money to spend, the first thing you need to do is decide what’s really important to you. There were just a few things that I wanted at my wedding: Having our families and best friends on the face of the planet there. I wanted to wear a strapless fluffy princess dress. Bouquets of Black Magic roses. Black bridesmaid dresses. And Zane and I both wanted to eat steak. And that was pretty much it. I figured it would be at a hotel, because most of the weddings I’d attended had been in hotels , and I wasn’t really particular as to which one. The only other weddings I’d been to were in historic buildings in D.C. and as we all know, L.A. doesn’t have any of those (I was so young).
We had a lot of “Options You May Not Have”, the first being that this was almost seven years ago, when stuff was a little bit cheaper. The second is that I’d been an event planner since Clinton’s first term in office, so I knew what questions to ask to get the answers I needed. In the interest of full disclosure, there were only 50 guests at our wedding, which meant less money spent on invites, and way less money spent on dinner. We got married the weekend after Valentine’s Day, in the middle of winter, and our venue (ironically, an historic art-deco hotel ) was eager to give us a great deal in order to book it. I found a bakery at a bridal show that only charged $2.25 per slice. My father in-law owned a candy-distribution company, and we asked him if we could have a big batch to put in little Chinese take-out boxes and give away as favors. He was delighted, and one of my favorite memories is watching everyone open up their boxes and start trading candy with each other.
Options that you do have? I rented my wedding dress and my veil. I got my shoes on sale at Macys. I found the bridesmaid dresses at Windsor Fashions for $50 each (no, they didn’t wear them again). I walked down the street from our apartment to the closest flower shop and asked for very simple, one-flower type arrangements and bouquets. My wedding rings are a vintage set from the ’40s that Zane bought in D.C., and I went to the local jewelry district in L.A. to have a solid gold band hand-made for him for $300, which would be somewhere between $400-500 today.
But it took time to find all of these things, and I lucked out on a lot of them. Sunset Tower was on my way to work, and I must have passed it about 50 times before I looked up one day, wondered how much it would cost, and called. Same thing with the florist, and same thing with the dress rental place. So, note to you: If there’s a possible option, don’t assume it won’t work. Ask.
So, what “other options” do you have to meet your wedding budget goals? Where have you lucked out so far?
This Week’s Wedding Deals
Ann Taylor Brings the Pretty
Another clothing store is jumping into Wedding World, so say Thank You. Ann Taylor is bringing the pretty with a new line of gowns, starting at only $300.
DIY Wedding Stationery Engines, Activate!
Feterie, bringer of all stationery both modern and lovely (like this one below), is participating in the two week-long Paper Carnival. Each day of the carnival features a new and fabulous etsy.com stationary store, and you know etsy always has the deals. Go to the Paper Carnival’s Facebook page to get started. I’ve already “liked” it, how about you?
Project Wedding is holding a Budget Savvy contest and dishing up big-ass Amazon gift cards for the most creative broke-ass entries – up to $500! So what are you waiting for? PS: you’re welcome!
Lulu.com is offering an exclusive discount to Broke-Ass Bride readers, for 25% off a Photo Book purchase. Enter the code brokebride at checkout to receive the discount. The offer is valid until July 31st, and has a maximum savings of $100.
Happy Fourth of July and I’ll See You At the End of the Aisle,
