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{Real Bride: Katie} Staying Healthy While Planning a Wedding

Get In Shape Girl!
Photo via retrojunk.com

Sooooo let me just start out by saying that I don’t know where it’s been written that all brides shall be stick-thin on their wedding day, but can we agree it’s a little ridiculous? Sure, I want to look at my wedding photos and think “wow, we were lookin’ good,” but I’m pretty sure I’ll be thinking that anyway (or at least I hope I will). It’s more important for me to look at my pictures and think “wow, that was an amazing time in my life” instead of ”wow, I was so stressed out with trying to lose 20 pounds.” Plus, any dress shop will tell you that dropping a ton of weight right before your wedding will gaurantee a fun-filled night of constantly hiking up your dress that is now too big.

When the pressure’s on it’s always tempting to stay up all night, scouring wedding sites for ideas, while stuffing my face with M&M’s….not cool. Our wedding is also right at the height of allergy season (greeaaat), so I’m trying to do everything possible to avoid being sniffly on our wedding day.

The name of the game for me is maintenance, and I’ve put together a list of all the things I’ve been doing to try to stay healthy and fit for our big day. Please, please, please let me know if you have any other ideas though. Did I mention that I’m really worried about turning into a big, snotty, allergy mess in a white dress?

1. Get plenty of sleep: I think this one is super difficult for brides-to-be. It is so tempting to get wrapped up in all the hoopla and toss sleep right out the window. Not a good idea though, especially since I’m much more likely to pick up every germ under the sun when I’m tired.

2. Cook dinner: okay this one is hard during a time crunch too, but it’s so important. Chain restaurants are now required to post calorie counts in NY and I was stunned by the results. Really Applebees? 1300 calories for salad?! I don’t even want to think about the sodium levels, so for now Mr. Officer and I are trying to stick to homemade every weeknight. We’re finding that it’s kind of relaxing to eat a healthy dinner together right in our own kitchen.

3. Drink lots of water….. and milk: It really is true when they say that sometimes your body sends the hunger signal when you’re really just super thirsty, so I’ve been trying to drink lots of water so that I can tell when I’m actually hungry. I can’t say that I agree with the Master Cleanse program (please, please don’t do this diet program, it’s so dangerous), but I do actually really like the lemon/maple syrup/cayenne mixture. It’s surprisingly tasty and always gets me to drink more water…..not a bad thing. However, Mr. Officer is a big milk drinker, so I’ve started drinking a lot more milk too. I’ve found that sometimes a glass of lowfat milk after dinner helps me to not feel as hungry later. I don’t know why, but there you go!

4. Stock up on healthy snacks: I’m a big snacker, and I always get hungry between meals. In an effort to tempt myself to eat healthier, the kitchen is stocked with clementines, nuts, low-sodium turkey slices, and baked potato chips. I admit, we also have some ice cream and I’m totally okay with a daily bowl of ice cream. Gotta live a little, right?

5. Use the TV to your advantage: we discovered a while ago that we get Exercise TV on demand. Awesome! I mean, why pay the super exorbitant gym fees when you can do a yoga class right in the living room? I also have a Pilates book that my mom gave me ages ago that has gotten a lot of mileage and saved me hundreds of dollars on Pilates classes. Full disclosure though BABs – the biggest saver has been the fancy, elliptical machine that came with our house. The previous owners didn’t want to pay to move it to Florida, so their laziness was our huuuugggge score. Now I reward myself with a Judge Judy episode everyday, while running on the elliptical machine. We’re thinking of expanding our little home gym, and Mr. Officer has discovered that there are tons of people that lose interest in their gym equipment and sell it for super cheap (or free) on Craigslist. Sweet! We’re more than happy to take that piece of equipment off your hands!

-Katie

{Real Bride: Katie} Pre-Valentine’s Day Engagement Tips!

Well, it’s almost Valentine’s Day, which means that Mr. Officer and I have been engaged for almost a year already. Yikes, where did the time go?! Aargggh, that means our wedding is right around the corner….there’s so much to do!

Okay, now that I’ve gotten that little panic attack out of my system, I’m ready to talk about getting engaged. I know there are some readers out there that are anxiously awaiting their chance to freak out about invitation ink colors and veil lengths, so this one is dedicated to you!

Valentine’s Day just isn’t complete without conversation hearts
Photo via Necco 

1. The ring you hate is just as important as the ring you love: before we got engaged, Mr. Officer and I were in New Hampshire visiting family when he suggested that we should stop by the jewelry store to look at rings. It was at this point that I launched into a very long and boring speech about getting someone’s hopes up. After I calmed down a little, I decided that maybe I should give him some ideas of what I actually like in a ring. So, I emailed him some pictures of rings that I really liked along with  a few I hated. I’m glad that I did, because apparently he was really surprised by taste in rings (i.e. he thought I would like a solitaire that was on my dislike list).

2. Don’t underestimate the power of involving the parents: okay, I know this is super old fashioned, but I’m telling you, it really is worth the extra effort. About a month before we got engaged, Mr. Officer and I were in Philadelphia visiting my parents when Mr. Officer asked if I could show him where to find the bathrom (a valid request since it was in a weird location). Little did I know that while I was in the bathroom, Mr. Officer had sprinted back down the stairs to ask my parents for my hand in marriage. In this modern age I think we can all agree it’s simply symbolic (I mean come on, I’ve been living on my own for 10 years), but my parents really liked being involved in the process. I was touched that Mr. Officer kept this chivalrous tradition alive, and my mom has told me a couple of times that my dad really appreciated the gesture.

3. A simple, heartfelt proposal can be better than a super elaborate, public one: somehow it’s become a cultural norm that the proposer feels it’s necessary to come up with some crazy, elaborate and expensive way to ask the proposee to marry him/her. That’s a lot of pressure for the poor proposer, but I also think a giant billboard just would have made me feel awkward. Quick family anecdote – when my grandparents were dating, my grandfather accidentally proposed to my great-grandmother……on the phone. It was WWII and my grandmother wasn’t home when he called from bootcamp, so my grandfather told her mother ”If Pauline wants to get married, I have leave coming up soon, sooo…….” My grandmother obviously agreed, and they’ve been married for over 70 years and counting. Similarly my mom recently told me that my dad produced a ring while muttering something super romantic like “So, do you want this?” and now they’ve been married for over 40 years. Apparently it runs in my family (sigh), but I’m really glad that Mr. Officer opted to scrap his original plan, which involved a special presentation at a fancy restaurant (especially since the restaurant told him that we wouldn’t be the only newly engaged people there, prompting many jokes about a mass engagement room).

Is it necessary? I’m not convinced….
Photo via Evilflu

4. Keep it to yourself for a while: Mr. Officer told me after the fact that he had asked my parents, so I knew my parents already knew, but I still decided to wait a little bit. I really wanted to just appreciate the moment with my new fiance, and I wasn’t thrilled about spending my first night as an engaged person glued to the phone. I’m so glad that we waited, because it allowed us to really focus on the excitement of the night and each other. Plus, sharing good news with loved ones is always a great feeling, and it kind of gave me something to look forward to the next day.

5. Enjoy the attention: when you are ready to start telling people, get used to enjoying the attention. Feel free to flash the ring around and tell random strangers that you just got engaged. People love to get in on the action and live vicariously through your good news. Plus, you might be surprised by the number of people that want to give you free stuff. We didn’t tell the bed & breakfast where we were staying that we got engaged and the innkeeper told us after the fact that she would have comped us some champagne and treats if she knew. Rats, we missed out on free bubbly and snacks……don’t be like us!

{Real Bride: Katie} Keeping Stress in Check

Originally I had planned a completely different post this week about staying in shape on a budget (and I promise that post is still in the works), but instead I got distracted with some thoughts on handling stress. More specifically, people often want to know how we manage the stress of Mr. Officer’s job, and if I’m worried about marrying a police officer.

 Mr. Officer in Action
Photo via NY Daily News

Actually, this is a topic that Mr. Officer and I discussed long before we ever dated. In fact, I distinctly remember having a conversation with him when he was about one year into his job, in which he told me that he couldn’t see himself ever getting married or having a family because he didn’t want to put someone else through the stress of worrying about his safety.

Well I’m glad he abondoned that plan, but now I’m one of the people concerned with his safety so I’m going to level with you……it can be stressful. There have been a few scary incidents involving Brooklyn cops this year (exhibit A: this recent news story), and it’s always jarring to realize there are people out there that hate him just because of his job.

Now this is not to say that I sit at home every night, biting my nails and bracing for impact. In fact, Mr. Officer is really good at dissassociating his professional and personal lives, so most days I kind of forget what he does for a living. And seriously, sometimes the threat of physical danger isn’t as stressful as the general disdain that accompanies his job title. I mean let’s face it, police officers are not usually beloved among liberal-minded partygoers these days.

As backward as it may seem, I think the professional stress actually makes our relationship a little less stressful. We rarely argue (I know, I can almost feel the eye rolls as I write this), but honestly it’s hard to get into a huge blowout over cocktail napkins or floral arrangements when there are so many other things that I can worry about on a daily basis. It’s a little cheesy, but I love Garth Brooks’ song “If Tomorrow Never Comes”, because it pretty accurately summarizes our approach to marriage. Mr. Officer tells me all the time that as long as everything is fine with our relationship and families than he’s happy. You’ve got to admit it’s pretty hard to argue with that logic.

In the midst of all the wedding planning, I hope (nay, demand) that everyone takes a step back to lighten the mood with a kickass date night. That call to the caterer can wait until after margarita night, because you get to marry the person you love and life is good!

So now seems like a good time to get a stress relieving, dance party started. Go on and get down with your bad self…….I’ll even provide the tunes.  Maroon 5 – Moves Like Jagger

{Real Bride: Katie} Venue-Palooza

Once the bling was on the finger and the bragging had commenced, it was time to get down to business and decide on a venue. I figured the most efficient way to git-r-done was to visit a bunch of venues in one whirlwind weekend. Mr. Officer wasn’t able to join us, but luckily the maid of honor and my parents were totally on board for my plan.

So without further ado, I present my options for Venue-Palooza!

Option 1: College of Physicians
Theme: Love in the Time of Cholera
Notes: Okay, this was definitely the quirkiest option but I kind of liked that it was so offbeat.   The neighborhood was sort of sketch-tastic, but the interior was beautiful and guests can peruse the Mutter Museum during the reception. If you’re not familiar with the Mutter Museum, it’s filled with medical oddities such as a replica of the world’s largest impacted colon, a wax cast of a horn growing out of a woman’s forehead and a cabinet full of things people have swallowed over the years. Yup, that’s how we do romance in the City of Brotherly Love.

College of Physicians: Main Reception Area

College of Physicians: Cocktail Reception Area

College of Physicians: Mutter Museum
Photo by B. Krist

Option 2: Racquet Club of Philadelphia
Theme: Roaring ’20s Speaking Easy
Notes: The Racquet Club of Philadelphia won points immediately because the event guy was really cute and we were hoping the maid of honor would score a date by the end of the tour. Cute guys aside though, the swanky interior reminded me of Winthorpe’s racquet club in Trading Places, but in a good way. However, I was really worried about making our non-city dwelling guests drive all the way into Center City Philadelphia and I didn’t like that our smallish party would be broken up into separate rooms.

Racquet Club of Philadelphia: Entrance/Dancing Area
Photo via yelp.com

Racquet Club of Philadelphia: Dining Area
Photo via yelp.com

Racquet Club of Philadelphia: Cigar Room
Photo via yelp.com

Racquet Club of Philadelphia: Afterparty Room
Photo via yelp.com

Option 3: Appleford Estate
Theme: Gatsby Garden Party
Notes: This one was my dad’s absolute favorite and for good reasons, the grounds were beautiful and the interior of the estate was pretty amazing. I loved the idea of playing Mainline diva for a night, but I hated that the main reception area would have to be tented. I mean what’s the point of all that beauty if you’re just going to cover it up with a drab tent anyway?

Appleford Estate: Exterior & Reception Patio
Note: the patio would be tented from the second row of windows down

Appleford Estate Cocktail Reception Room

Appleford Estate: Dessert Buffet Room

Option 4: Grace Winery at Sweetwater Farm Bed & Breakfast
Theme: Rustic Romance
Comments: We got engaged here, so the venue has sentimental value and I just love this place. It’s gorgeous and relaxing plus the wedding party & Mr. Officer’s family can stay there with us. However, this is the most expensive venue (of course) and we have to rent out the entire B&B for two nights as part of the contract.

Sweetwater Farm: Main Reception Area

Sweetwater Farm: Main Bar Area

Sweetwater Farm: Cocktail Reception Area

The decision was tough, but we finally decided on Sweetwater Farm because it is the best fit for our personalities and the type of wedding we’ve envisioned. Also, some of the other venues had exclusive catering contracts,  which meant less flexibility on catering cost/options.  As an added bonus, Sweetwater is so pretty that we can save money on the decorations/flowers budget.

In the end Venue-Palooza was a huge success. I picked a venue and I had a great time checking out the oddities and drinking wine between appointments with some of my favorite people!

{Real Bride: Katie} An Officer AND A Gentleman

Mellow greetings fellow Broke-Ass Briders! As a longtime Broke-Ass reader, I am so excited to join Team Broke-Ass as the newest real bride blogger. This May I’m marrying an NYPD Officer at a wedding that has generated a lot of excitement among our families (seriously, one Aunt reportedly started dieting a year ago in preparation). Before we jump into all the glittery details though, a little plot exposition…..

Katie & Mr. Officer sharing a pool party joke!

My fiancé and I met through mutual friends a few years ago while I was dating another guy. (I know, scandalous). My future hubby had just moved to NY to begin the police academy when we found ourselves attending the same birthday pool party. Unbeknownst to me, my guy had his eye on me from the very beginning, but respected my relationship like a true gentleman.

When my relationship died a very dramatic but natural death, Mr. Officer was there with bells on to lend an ear during the seemingly endless complaining phase. Through all our girl-talk and margaritas, we discovered that we actually had a TON in common. He totally played it cool though and let me vent the old relationship out of my system…… until he had a dream that he was forever stuck in the “friend zone.” So, he hatched a plan to make his move by showing up for dinner with multiple bottles of wine and a copy of Breakfast at Tiffany’s. The whole idea was to sweep me off my feet by asking me to dance while “Moon River” played over the closing credits. It was all very romantic, except that I’m completely clueless and immediately turned the movie off at the end so that I could ramble on about Andy Rooney or some equally asinine topic. Oops.

Halloween Role Reversal: Katie as Miss Officer, Mr. Officer as Jason Varitek

No worries though, everything worked out just fine… and two and half years later we found ourselves rewatching Breakfast at Tiffany’s on Valentine’s Day at a cute little B&B near Philadelphia. This time I knew better than to turn the movie off during the credits and I was rewarded for my decision when he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. To this day, I’m pretty sure that Mr. Officer has no idea what actually happens during Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Now we are planning our wedding while adjusting to our new life as suburban homeowners. We’ll be getting married in my childhood church with a shabby chic-tastic reception to follow in the barn of the B&B where we got engaged. Neither one of us have been to many weddings, so we’re kind of the blind leading the blind. We’re figuring it out though and starting to get really excited for the big day!

So now that you know a little bit about me, I’d love to hear more about you. Did anyone else have an awkward start to their relationship? Am I the only girl on the planet who is completely clueless when it comes to weddings and romance in general? Please don’t leave me hanging here!

PS – bonus points for the first movie nerd who can correctly identify the movie in which “Mellow Greetings” is the salutation of the future…..

-Katie