Posts in the 'Contributors' Category
February 3rd, 2012 by liz
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I don’t have many of them, but the ones I have are strong. In no particular order:
I know it's so pretty that you want to keep it. Please don't.
People Who Won’t RSVP. What is that? We’re all busy, I get that, but just check the appropriate box on the little card and drop it in your mailbox. It’s already stamped and everything! Or go to the website and click the appropriate box and let them know. Or email your response. If you don’t, a few weeks from now you’re going to get a very uncomfortable phone call/email asking you, as politely as possible, what the hell is going on? No one likes that phone call. No one likes making it. No likes taking it. And no one likes avoiding it, really. Little card, stamped envelope. MAIL IT.
People Who RSVP and Don’t Show Up. And Don’t Tell You They’re Not Showing Up. Again, life happens, I get that. But you were invited, and you RSVP’d yes, and your meal is already paid for. At least call or email and let them know that you’re not coming. I know that weddings can often feel impersonal – it’s this big, huge affair, now matter what size it is. It’s easy to think that you won’t be missed. Believe me, you will. Left-over place cards get noticed. Think of it this way – not only is it rude, but it isn’t how you would want someone to treat you. Right? Right. And yet, the table with ten cards on it shows up at every wedding. Sigh.
Early Invitation Times. This one is on you. I know I keep repeating this, but I feel like it’s my mission in life to get this through to as many people as possible. If your ceremony starts at 5:00pm, put 5:00pm on the invitation, please. Putting 4:30pm on the invitations just to fool the latecomers is going to inconvenience everyone else, including you. The majority of your guests are going to show at 4:00pm. That leaves you one hour less to set-up and get ready. And guests that are hanging out, all dressed up, for an hour. Hopefully, they’ll have someplace to sit. Will they have someplace to sit? And, most of the time, the usual latecomers will still be late. It’s not worth it. Never worth it.
Family Members That Give Into The Wedding Wacky. You have one idea of how you want your wedding to look like, they have another. And they will not shut up about it. And not only will they not shut up about it, but they take it personally that you won’t take their advice. And you react the way that you always react when they won’t back off, which you recognize as some variation of “badly.” And then suddenly your entire relationship is at stake. Over the color of the bridesmaid dresses. Seriously? Look, here’s the deal: You can’t control what they say and do, you can only control what you say and do. So, while they’re taking your rejection personally, don’t take their rejection personally, too. They are always like this, you know that. They want you to have a wonderful day, and you should acknowledge that. They just want you to have their vision of a wonderful day. Hold onto your vision of, affirm what you want, and keep moving.
My bride made these. And this is great if you know how to make it or want to learn. Do you? ( Courtesy of SDK Photo)
Unrealistic Wedding Tips. Of course the cost of your venue and catering will go down if you pick a day other than a weekend, but how many people are going to be able to make it if it’s on a Thursday night? I guess that’s a way to cut the guest list, but… I just read an article that said that vendors are willing to cut their rates if you have your wedding on a Sunday. Well, I speak for a lot of vendors when I say that I only work once a weekend, so I’m not going to be able to lower my prices on the one day I’m working. DIY is not a cure-all. iPod’ing your wedding music is not a cure-all. Grow your own flowers? I recently got asked to write a piece on alternatives to having (not hiring, having) a wedding photographer and, NO. I’m not saying that they’re not all do-able, but all of these come with caveats that are often missing. Getting them to work may be more time-consuming, stressful and sometimes more expensive, than other options. There are many, many realistic ways to save money when you’re planning your wedding, and you don’t have to step out of your comfort zone to do them.
So, what wedding pet peeves have YOU developed so far? And what do you think about mine? Let me know in the comments below.
See you at the end of the aisle,
January 30th, 2012 by dana h.
Image: Kauai Wedding Photography
Many of us agree that photography is a HUGE part of your big day. After all, your photos stay with you forever! As if pictures weren’t prominent enough in the wedding biz, they’ve taken a step further into the spotlight with the introduction of photo booths.
So what’s the big deal with these anyway? Obviously, a photo booth lets your guest take home sweet photos, sure to bring up memories of the fun they had at your wedding. But pictures aside, photo booths keep guests’ spirits high. After the pomp and circumstance of a formal ceremony, it gives your guests a chance to cut loose and express themselves in a humorous way.
Now, let’s get real for a minute. Yep, we have to start thinking about the dreaded b-word. Photo booths for weddings typically rent for $1000+. And when you’re on a budget, well, that can be a lot of dough to dish out on a novelty. But let’s step back and think about the concept of the photo booth. You want to give your guests an easy way to capture wedding-day memories. You want to provide them a fun setup. Thinking about it this way, having a photo booth – without actually renting one – is totally doable.
A couple ideas:
The Polaroid Setup. This requires very little work from you. All you need is the camera; a small table to set the camera on (along with extra paper and batteries, if you have a large guest list); and backdrop (whether it’s a folding screen, or pretty fabric tacked to the wall if your venue allows). Make it fun and set out a box of props, too!
Polaroid Z340 Instant Digital Camera, $299 at Polaroid.com
Polaroid cameras are easy to operate, so guests can take turns taking pictures of each other, or hold up the camera to take pictures of themselves.
Tip: If you don’t already have a Polaroid camera, register for one! Make sure it’s on your registry early and maybe, just maybe, you’ll get it before your wedding. If not, cross it off the registry and pick one up yourself. It’s less than a third the cost of a photo booth, and you get to take it with you on the honeymoon! If $300 is still too rich for your blood, you can grab an old school vintage Polaroid for a fraction of the cost of a new one on Etsy, and source film for it from The Impossible Project!
The Laptop Setup. To get closer to the real deal, you can purchase photo booth software (like Spark Booth, $59) that takes the pictures through your webcam. By bringing in a laptop and printer, you can set up a photo station that snaps your guests’ photos in a single keystroke and prints them out in photo-booth format. Brilliant! Interested in the details? See the step-by-step and results from a real wedding here.
You can take these ideas a step further by using the pictures in your guestbook, as an alternative to signatures. Set out markers for the guests to write messages on the prints, and mounting squares to stick their snapshots in a scrapbook. (Your crafty girlfriends will have fun with this, too!)
Image: Emmaline Bride
How are you getting creative with photos at your wedding?
January 28th, 2012 by Dana F.
Reader Request:
Etsy seller PetrasRocks
“I have found my dream ring… but with my fiance and I paying for the entire wedding ourselves, it’s a little out of my price range. Can you help?”
We sure can! Here are some fabulous looks for less:
1 $899 //2 $699 // 3 $770 // 4 $703 // 5 $979
What do you think, BABS? Which of these pave halo diamond engagement rings is your reasonably priced fave? If you’ve got a wedding fashion-related request, leave it in the comments!
- Dana F.
January 27th, 2012 by liz
I talked about this a little bit last week, when I mentioned making The Lists of Three (TM Liz). The first venue might not work out, so rather than go back to the drawing board, make sure you already have two more options in the pipeline. Practical, yes, but it’s also a good way to temper any disappointment you end up having. Managing your expectations is a big part of that. I always say that the first vendor you meet is not the only choice you have. And many times, you’re grateful for that!
Photo by Up Imagery, Flowers by Honey and Poppies
But it also extends to the rest of your wedding, too. Not just being prepared to meet a lot of vendors, but being prepared when you meet them. Dates and guest counts when you visit venues. Pictures of flowers and arrangements you like when you speak with florists. A preliminary count of how many out of town guests you’re going to have before you book your room block. A strapless bra and both high-heels and flats when you try on dresses. Three songs that you absolutely have to hear at your reception, so you can tell a D.J.
It’s true that you could figure out all of these at each meeting, or even after. Heck, a lot of bridal shops have bras and shoes you can borrow. But but it’s better if you bring it with you. I’ve sat in meetings with couples when the “No” and the “we haven’t thought about it” answers pile up in response to “How many/What Do you want” questions, right along with their stressed out expressions. You don’t have to have all the answers, just the basics.
Always be prepared. If your ceremony is outside, have a back-up plan if it rains. If your reception is going to be outside, have a rain plan and reserve heat lamps. Cover your bases. Find out where the nearest grocery and hardware stores are to your wedding, just in case. I have stories that you never want to hear. I bring along a huge emergency kit to every wedding, and it lives in my car every other day of the week, too. It is always better to have and not need, then need and not have. Always. It’s not paranoia, it’s, well…preparation.
What have you done in preparation to plan your wedding day? Do you have any questions on how to prepare for any part of it, or how not preparing bit you in the butt?? Let me know in the comments below. It happens to the best of us.
See you at the end of the aisle,
January 23rd, 2012 by dana h.
Image: Style Me Pretty. Photo by Greer G Photography.
Lately, I’ve been obsessed with DIY wedding stationery. Not only is it a great way to stick to a tight budget, but what better way to give your guests a sneak peek at your wedding style? And whether you’re going the print-at-home kit route, or cutting blank cardstock for your own creations, your invites don’t have to look plain. It’s easy to use decorative elements to pack a punch and add a bit of personal flair. After all, your wedding should be your own!
The source of my inspiration is this lovely invitation envelope. While the paper itself is your standard white and brown, it gets prettied up with vintage-style stamps and a touch of lace, both of which are easy to achieve.
Let’s start with the lace edges. The practical side of me wonders how the delicate lace on the outside envelope would hold up in the mail. A nice alternative might be to use paper doilies instead — you achieve the same effect, but with more strength. And did I mention doilies are super cheap? (You can find packs of 30 for about $2-3 each.) If you need a little direction on how to cut and position the doilies, here’s a great DIY tutorial.
Image: Sparkle and Hay
On to stamps. While there are plenty of custom postage designs on the web to choose from, they require a little more dough than you’d spend at the post office (usually double or more). And when you tally up all the stamps you’ll need to buy — for save-the-dates, invites, reply cards, and thank-you cards…well, let’s not get into how much all those custom stamps would be! That’s why it was refreshing to find that the pretty stamps on the inspiration envelope can be purchased through the post office…at every-day stamp prices. Yay!
Featuring pretty herbs, you can mix and match these 29-cent stamps at your pleasure.
Herbs stamps – Roll of 100, $29.
If vintage and flora aren’t quite your style, the “Love: King and Queen”designs are a good bet, and less ho-hum than the Wedding Roses and Rings designs.
$8.80 for 20
Or maybe you’re an unconventional bride, and you’d rather have and “pretty” isn’t a concern to you. With an open mind, you’ll find the post office carries many other choices. You might like something a little quirky, like the Mark Twain design, or even American Scientists. Neat!
How are you making your stationery special? If you’re going the DIY route, what special touches do you think you’ll add?
-Dana H.
January 22nd, 2012 by katie
Once the bling was on the finger and the bragging had commenced, it was time to get down to business and decide on a venue. I figured the most efficient way to git-r-done was to visit a bunch of venues in one whirlwind weekend. Mr. Officer wasn’t able to join us, but luckily the maid of honor and my parents were totally on board for my plan.
So without further ado, I present my options for Venue-Palooza!
Option 1: College of Physicians
Theme: Love in the Time of Cholera
Notes: Okay, this was definitely the quirkiest option but I kind of liked that it was so offbeat. The neighborhood was sort of sketch-tastic, but the interior was beautiful and guests can peruse the Mutter Museum during the reception. If you’re not familiar with the Mutter Museum, it’s filled with medical oddities such as a replica of the world’s largest impacted colon, a wax cast of a horn growing out of a woman’s forehead and a cabinet full of things people have swallowed over the years. Yup, that’s how we do romance in the City of Brotherly Love.
College of Physicians: Main Reception Area
College of Physicians: Cocktail Reception Area
College of Physicians: Mutter Museum
Photo by B. Krist
Option 2: Racquet Club of Philadelphia
Theme: Roaring ’20s Speaking Easy
Notes: The Racquet Club of Philadelphia won points immediately because the event guy was really cute and we were hoping the maid of honor would score a date by the end of the tour. Cute guys aside though, the swanky interior reminded me of Winthorpe’s racquet club in Trading Places, but in a good way. However, I was really worried about making our non-city dwelling guests drive all the way into Center City Philadelphia and I didn’t like that our smallish party would be broken up into separate rooms.
Racquet Club of Philadelphia: Entrance/Dancing Area
Photo via yelp.com
Racquet Club of Philadelphia: Dining Area
Photo via yelp.com
Racquet Club of Philadelphia: Cigar Room
Photo via yelp.com
Racquet Club of Philadelphia: Afterparty Room
Photo via yelp.com
Option 3: Appleford Estate
Theme: Gatsby Garden Party
Notes: This one was my dad’s absolute favorite and for good reasons, the grounds were beautiful and the interior of the estate was pretty amazing. I loved the idea of playing Mainline diva for a night, but I hated that the main reception area would have to be tented. I mean what’s the point of all that beauty if you’re just going to cover it up with a drab tent anyway?
Appleford Estate: Exterior & Reception Patio
Note: the patio would be tented from the second row of windows down
Appleford Estate Cocktail Reception Room
Appleford Estate: Dessert Buffet Room
Option 4: Grace Winery at Sweetwater Farm Bed & Breakfast
Theme: Rustic Romance
Comments: We got engaged here, so the venue has sentimental value and I just love this place. It’s gorgeous and relaxing plus the wedding party & Mr. Officer’s family can stay there with us. However, this is the most expensive venue (of course) and we have to rent out the entire B&B for two nights as part of the contract.
Sweetwater Farm: Main Reception Area
Sweetwater Farm: Main Bar Area
Sweetwater Farm: Cocktail Reception Area
The decision was tough, but we finally decided on Sweetwater Farm because it is the best fit for our personalities and the type of wedding we’ve envisioned. Also, some of the other venues had exclusive catering contracts, which meant less flexibility on catering cost/options. As an added bonus, Sweetwater is so pretty that we can save money on the decorations/flowers budget.
In the end Venue-Palooza was a huge success. I picked a venue and I had a great time checking out the oddities and drinking wine between appointments with some of my favorite people!
January 21st, 2012 by Dana F.
Reader Request:
Hi there. I find myself looking for a modern wedding – clean lines, bauhaus-inspired – but everything that I can find at reasonable price has a more vintage/romantic or blingy/overwrought vibe. I’ve included photos of two dresses that I like because they’re 1. modern, 2. not strapless, and 3. kind of space agey. Can you suggest budget options that would be similar?
The inspiration:
Source: Pronovias
Source: Angel Sanchez
Here are some modern, unfussy bridal gowns that come in at a reasonable price. Good luck in your search!
Shop Now:
L-R: White House Black Market $120 // BCBG $348 // Badgley Mischka $348 //
Saja ~$1100 // Aria ~$600 // Derek Lam $695
January 20th, 2012 by liz
Three weeks into the New Year, and the new car smell is still wafting from the shiny, shiny ring on your finger. Wow, it’s really shiny.
The news has been spread far and wide. You’ve picked a date, you’re trolling through the wedding websites (Welcome!), hit a couple of bridal shows, and you’re finally ready to start looking at venues. You think you’ve found the perfect one. Yes! You spend a lot of time looking at pictures online before you go, and it’s fantastic. This was so easy! And then you get there. And the carpet is old and an odd color red. Or they won’t let you have candles and you have to have candles. Or it’s not big enough. Or small enough. Or it just isn’t…right. Sadly, you go back to the drawing board, and pick another place to look at. And the next one has your date available. If you want to get married at 10:30 in the morning.
Yes? Perhaps not for you.
Here’s the truth: I’m always a little relieved when a couple comes to me and they’ve already have their wedding site. It’s not that I can’t help them find one, because, you know, it’s my job. But in the meantime the cycle of expectation to disappointment to frustration at having to start all over? Sucks for you guys. All the wasted time, all the wasted hope, right? I want you to find one just as quickly as you do. That doesn’t always happen, unfortunately.
With a little bit of prep, and a different mindset, you can get through this with a minimum of frustration.
Rule #1: Do not set yourself up. Before you go and see any venue, call or email and get as much information as you can, about the stuff that’s important to you. You know how many guests you’re going to have. You know what your budget is. Just in case you end up wanting it, ask if you can have stuff like candles and live flower petals. How much is catering per person? How much is it with a full bar? If you’re afraid to ask a question, just because it might be a “no”? Ask it anyway.
Closer? No? Sigh...
Granted, there might be things that you didn’t know you didn’t want, and you only realized it once you were there. Which leads us to Rule #2: Always have back-up. I find at least three places to present to my couples, so even if site #1 doesn’t work, there are two more to look at. So, find three places, make appointments to see them all. Give yourself a little space in between visits so that you have to time to check and see that what bugged you about the first place isn’t going to be a problem in the second place. Try and get clear about what you didn’t like about it. And don’t be ashamed to ask questions like, “what color is the wallpaper?” Blue dotted wallpaper, or whatever it is you hated, is not going to go away. As a matter of fact, it’s going to show up in your pictures. Who cares about that? You do. It’s not petty, it’s your wedding, and a lifetime of memories.
Rule #3: You have to accept that it’s a process, and give into it. And most importantly, you have to believe that you’re going to find the perfect place for you. Because you will. The process is great because not only will it lead you to that perfect place, but it will define and refine what you really want your wedding to look like. And that’s never a bad thing. Give yourself a reward after each trip. After you see the Hilton, or wherever, you’re going to hit that Chinese restaurant nearby and kick off date night. Or, you know, who’s up for ice cream? I know I am. Add fun at the end of each trip.
The most venues I’ve sent my brides to before they found “IT” was five. How many did you see before you made your pick? And do you have any questions, or advice to add for those who haven’t found “IT” and are starting to feel the burn? Let me know in the comments below.
See you at the end of the aisle,
January 16th, 2012 by katie
Mellow greetings fellow Broke-Ass Briders! As a longtime Broke-Ass reader, I am so excited to join Team Broke-Ass as the newest real bride blogger. This May I’m marrying an NYPD Officer at a wedding that has generated a lot of excitement among our families (seriously, one Aunt reportedly started dieting a year ago in preparation). Before we jump into all the glittery details though, a little plot exposition…..
Katie & Mr. Officer sharing a pool party joke!
My fiancé and I met through mutual friends a few years ago while I was dating another guy. (I know, scandalous). My future hubby had just moved to NY to begin the police academy when we found ourselves attending the same birthday pool party. Unbeknownst to me, my guy had his eye on me from the very beginning, but respected my relationship like a true gentleman.
When my relationship died a very dramatic but natural death, Mr. Officer was there with bells on to lend an ear during the seemingly endless complaining phase. Through all our girl-talk and margaritas, we discovered that we actually had a TON in common. He totally played it cool though and let me vent the old relationship out of my system…… until he had a dream that he was forever stuck in the “friend zone.” So, he hatched a plan to make his move by showing up for dinner with multiple bottles of wine and a copy of Breakfast at Tiffany’s. The whole idea was to sweep me off my feet by asking me to dance while “Moon River” played over the closing credits. It was all very romantic, except that I’m completely clueless and immediately turned the movie off at the end so that I could ramble on about Andy Rooney or some equally asinine topic. Oops.
Halloween Role Reversal: Katie as Miss Officer, Mr. Officer as Jason Varitek
No worries though, everything worked out just fine… and two and half years later we found ourselves rewatching Breakfast at Tiffany’s on Valentine’s Day at a cute little B&B near Philadelphia. This time I knew better than to turn the movie off during the credits and I was rewarded for my decision when he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. To this day, I’m pretty sure that Mr. Officer has no idea what actually happens during Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
Now we are planning our wedding while adjusting to our new life as suburban homeowners. We’ll be getting married in my childhood church with a shabby chic-tastic reception to follow in the barn of the B&B where we got engaged. Neither one of us have been to many weddings, so we’re kind of the blind leading the blind. We’re figuring it out though and starting to get really excited for the big day!
So now that you know a little bit about me, I’d love to hear more about you. Did anyone else have an awkward start to their relationship? Am I the only girl on the planet who is completely clueless when it comes to weddings and romance in general? Please don’t leave me hanging here!
PS – bonus points for the first movie nerd who can correctly identify the movie in which “Mellow Greetings” is the salutation of the future…..
-Katie
