Hello BABs! Today’s Broke-Ass Advice post is geared toward our BABs-to-be, and maybe some BA-Grooms-to-be, too!
If you’ve been struck by Cupid’s pointy little arrow and you’re itching to get your proposal on and start forever right now, I’ve got some suggestions for you that I hope will reduce the stress and fear of the whole proposal thing.
Spoiler alert: There is no right or wrong way to propose. There’s only your way, and that way is going to be awesome.
With that in mind, here are some proposal ideas that you may want to reconsider (along with some alternate solutions):
Proposing before you’re *85% sure of your partner’s response.
Unless you’re a mind reader (I’m not), it’s tough to be 100% sure, and the nerves will probably mess with your head a bit anyway. (Cut it out, nerves!) If you haven’t had a heart-to-heart with your partner about how you both feel about marriage, in general, and loosely about a future together, it’s a good idea to do that before popping the question. Make it a game of truth or dare if a sit-down convo seems too formal. (*In case you hadn’t guessed, that 85% stat is 100% made up.)
Assuming one or the other partner has to be the one to propose.
Cats, it’s 2016. If you want to propose, do it!
Proposing in public or in front of family / friends.
Some people really dig this, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t totally binge watch lip-synced, dance flash mob proposals on YouTube. Especially if your partner doesn’t love the limelight, though, you might want to reconsider this one. And please for the love all things cute and cuddly, don’t do it in public if it makes you squeamish! Pick the place you had your first date, or your favorite park or even your apartment and share it as a private moment if that sounds more like you and your partner.
Proposing with a baby animal.
Speaking of cute and cuddly … It’s really tough to say no to an adorable little furball, and a new pet is a sweet way to foreshadow a shared life together, but just be sure that your partner wants both you AND the responsibility that comes with a baby animal before bringing home a living surprise! #adoptdontshop
Proposing by proxy.
I get it — proposing can be scary, folks, and the stage fright can set in. (Much less so if you’re doing it without an audience, hint hint.) But you may want to think twice about having a sports mascot, billboard, scoreboard, singing telegram, text message, video, or anyone or anything other than your face be the one that your partner sees when the proposal is delivered. It’s a commitment you’re making together — don’t cheat yourself out of that moment or make your partner say yes to a question asked by anyone (or anything) else. (Unless you’re Meredith Grey and McDreamy. Then a post-it is perfect.) There are tons of exceptions to this one, especially if you’re both sports fans or you have some amazing house-cleaning-robot-thing that you can program to propose. (That sounds cool. I want one.) And yeah, if you’ve already determined that #4 is All Systems Go, then getting a tiny fur-face to pop the question might just be pretty awesome.
Agonizing over the perfect proposal.
Dear lovebirds, there is nothing more perfect than love. Don’t worry your pretty little heads over making the proposal perfect. Life is not perfect, your wedding and marriage will not be perfect, and all the best things in life are imperfect. Go for joy over perfection, fun over elaborate, and uniquely yours over Hollywood-inspired. The “perfect” proposal is always the one that is heartfelt and sincere. Do that.
Waiting until you’ve found the perfect ring.
Ring-shming. I love shiny things as much as the next raccoon, but despite what the WIC will tell you, you don’t need one to propose. IMO it’s a nice touch to have a small gift of some sort, but that can be a candy ring or anything else that may hold significance for the two of you. Don’t let a lack of ring keep you from proposing if it’s the right person and the right time. (Some partners might want to ring shop together anyway!)
Hiding a ring in food or beverage.
See #7 above. You might not even be proposing with a ring, but whatever it is, if you’re proposing with a gift, think twice about hiding it in something your partner is supposed to ingest. Trips to the ER are not usually sexy. Instead, place the ring in a visible spot — near food is fair game so long as it’s easily spotted.
Proposing while drunk.
Even if (especially if) you feel the same way sober, it’s a good idea to wait it out until you both have clear heads. You’ll want to remember your proposal moment.
Stressing over the most original and elaborate proposal ever.
Surprises are fun. Plans are awesome if you’re into that sort of thing. (I am.) But proposals are one area where it’s often better just to K.I.S.S. (keep it simple, silly!). Go big if that’s a thing in your relationship, but don’t feel pressure to do so. Your proposal might not be totally unique — and that’s ok, because your love is the only special unicorn you need. And whatever you do, just be yourself — that’s the you that your partner will want to marry!
Planning a wedding (or proposal) in Northeast Ohio? Here’s where you can find me for wedding planning assistance.