Broke-Ass Category: Budget Concerns

5/22

So, after my slight breakdown , I’m back on track. Chris, the girls and I had a wonderful Mother’s Day, we went to Busch Gardens and had a really fun, relaxing day, which I think helped my overall mood a lot. My mother came down today to help me with the kids, which is always great. I have a race on Sunday, but their dad is going to a conference in Florida, and Chris has his paramedic class, so I needed some help with child wrangling. Cue my mother!


Say hi, Mom!

My mother, like me, is very type-A. She warned me before she came down that she had a list of things she had thought of that I still needed to do for our wedding. She wasn’t kidding.


The note.

Having both my mom and Chris is a wonderful thing. Chris is very laid back. He’s not uninterested, he just isn’t picky at all and is usually pretty happy with most of my ideas. My mom, on the other hand, is definitely on my team and agrees with a lot of what we want, but she will most definitely tell me when she doesn’t think something is a good idea or doesn’t think I need to do it, which is great when it comes to keeping costs down. So I have a good mix of laid back and type-A to help me plan. I was actually thinking of details today, and was considering wedding shoes. I’m definitely not a heels kind of girl. I’m tall, and Chris is my height (though he insists he’s a half an inch taller), so I don’t really need them. I’m also about as graceful as a baby giraffe, and I’d prefer not to break an ankle walking down the aisle. I already have a marathon the week before, so I’m definitely thinking flats are the way to go. Our colors are purple and silver, so I wanted to go with purple shoes. So I headed on over to Etsy, and I am absolutely in love with these shoes:

Purple wedding flats available from Etsy seller Walkinonair

I absolutely love the lace details around the heel, it’ll match the lace designs on my dress. They’re $67, which, for someone who usually shops at Payless (except for running shoes, those are the only shoes I’m willing to spend a ridiculous amount of money on) is a bit pricey, but not horribly so. And I definitely have no problem wearing these again, I think wearing them to work after we get married will make me smile throughout the day. I think I’m actually liking planning the little details more than the big, expensive parts of the wedding. The girls and my mom are currently looking at flower girl dresses, so it may be one more detail down!

How’s your planning going? Is your mom stepping in to help?

  • 5/16

    As someone who has only seen episodes of Say Yes to the Dress in the time it takes for the channel to load and me to flip to the next channel, I was completely unprepared for wedding dress hunting. I was a “good” bride/friend and invited my mom and two besties to Charleston for the process.  I made appointments at 3 different bridal shops (Bridals by Jodi, DeBorah’s Bridal, and David’s Bridal) for the weekend they came to town.  Charleston has no shortage of bridal shops, but I knew I wanted to stick to my budget, despite mom saying it didn’t matter how much the dress was since she was paying. I knew that would be impossible looking for dresses downtown.

    Veils put me into First Communion mode. I can’t explain it, it just happens.

    I am pretty much the anti-bride. I don’t really do “girly.”

    I knew going into this process that it would be a test for me. Remaining calm and collected in an uncomfortable, unfamiliar situation is difficult for me. Also, a stranger was probably going to see my tatas and I’m not overly modest (military boot camp really helps you overcome body shyness) but still, I like my private parts private when I have the choice.

    I also have this issue where I get extremely disappointed very easily.

    Meaning, if I get my hopes up about something and it doesn’t happen, I will be crushed. I decided I would go into dress shopping completely objective. I wanted a dress that was functional (I needed to be able to walk and move naturally and spread my legs a little [for dancing, duhh]), but still flattering. Pockets would be a mind-blowing positive. I quickly learned that I was drawn to full-pattern, lace overlays. I knew that an empire waist/A-line dress looked best on me (I went to four proms in high school and it actually came in handy … who would have thought?). I knew that regular waists make me look frumpy and I needed to avoid those.

    Over three dress appointments, I probably tried on over 80 dresses.

    EIGHTY. I went home empty handed. I had a favorite dress at each place I went to — one of which I quickly eliminated after it was several hundred dollars over budget. I’m nothing if not practical, and one option was eliminated. I may have gone home empty handed, but I had learned some valuable lessons. Your experience at a place will color your opinion. I was so overwhelmed and disappointed at my David’s Bridal appointment that I didn’t like anything I tried on. I kinda liked one dress, but it had a weird waist issue (on me) that I wasn’t sure I could deal with and it was a little over-budget. The dress I liked at Bridals by Jodi was in budget, but I wasn’t sure if I was sold on it. What if I found something better?

    With each dress I put on, my entourage was extremely encouraging.

    Each dress was beautiful and I looked soooo good in it!! I finally pointed out that these dresses cost at least $800+ and if it didn’t look amazing and make me look gorgeous, it was overpriced and wouldn’t be coming home with me. I needed real critique I felt like a real jerk telling my people that their compliments weren’t really helpful, but I needed productive feedback, I needed to pick ONE dress.

    20170218_122735

    The butt rouching on this dress was fabulous, but I wasn’t sold on an open back.

    The night after my final appointment I was scrolling through the photos that had been taken of me in different dresses.

    I had seen myself in the mirror with every dress on, but I hadn’t actually seen myself. Every time I stood in front of the mirror, I was critiquing everything:

    Are my boobs hanging out? How does my butt look? Does this dress make me look pregnant?

    Body image is a real struggle over here in Megansville.

    Is this dress comfortable? Can I move around? Will this be too hot/cold for November 1st? Does it have pockets? What will Timo think of me in this dress? What do I think of me in this dress?

    I decided to look up the dress I’d liked from David’s Bridal on their site and happened to notice that it was on sale for $500 from $1150. It instantly became my #1. I could deal with the weird waist issue with a sash for that price. The next day, with only one of my besties in tow, I headed back to try on the dress with a sash to make sure I was OK with the waist (Mom and the other bestie had left town the day before).

    I said yes to the dress.

    Little did I know that I’d have to ring a bell and make a wish, but if I had known my wish would have been, “Let me be able to order this dress.” I learned when I went to check out that the dress was no longer in production and they could sell me the floor model, but that was my only option. The savings weren’t worth that. The dress I had tried on was picked and torn to bits. Despite being told they would “fix” the dress, I knew there was no way they could make the dress perfect again and I said, “Nope,” and we left.

    IMG954859

    I was at my most photogenic while trying on wedding dresses. This is The Almost Dress.

    I took a split second to be frustrated and then we headed back to Bridals by Jodi to try on my other #1. I tried on my #1 and several other dresses the attendant recommended but in the end my #1 is what I ended up going with. It wasn’t the PERFECT dress, but I know that to get a PERFECT dress, I’d have to find someone who can make a dress from scratch and I just don’t have the energy or money for that. I was pleased with how I looked and felt in the dress and it was $850 (under-budget). #win

    My key takeaways from the entire process:

    • If possible, do NOT go dress shopping on a holiday or weekend. That is when every other bride is also out shopping.  Stores will be slammed and attendants will be harried. It’s no one’s idea of a good time.
    • You do NOT have to spent a lot of money for a gorgeous dress. Don’t fall prey to the wedding “industry” and the “have to haves”.
    • It’s not like it is on TV. Even if they try to give your entourage signs, it’s definitely not like on TV. Someone will always be pissed off or disgruntled. Wait, maybe it is exactly like on TV.
    • When trying on dresses that are too big, pillows stuffed down the back of the dress to pull it taut are the shiznit. Hardware clips are not as magical as pillows.
    • Most stores do NOT give you free champagne. You can bring your own.
    • Do not have expectations of stores to help you. David’s Bridal only pulls the dresses for you and you have to fend for yourself getting in/out of them. Their dressing rooms are TINY and there are no mirrors in the room so everyone sees you before you are able to see yourself. Some places give you a room with a door to change in, some places you get an area with a curtain as a door. Each place is different. #themoreyouknow
    • What looks good on someone else may not look as good on you, no matter how bad you want it to.
    • When you say the “Kate Middleton” dress, your “Kate” may not be the same as someone else’s “Kate.”
    • The type of dress you think you like isn’t necessarily the type of dress you actually like.

    But most importantly, and what no one told me:

    Some people don’t have a magical moment of finding THE DRESS.

    Sometimes, you find a dress that is just fine and you buy it and you slowly get excited while you wait four months for it to eventually come in and then continue to wait as it get altered and then you worry about where you’re going to hide it until the wedding day so your fiance’ doesn’t find it.

    Photo Feb 18, 3 02 26 PM

    Pillows make the best stuffing!

    Have you gone dress shopping yet?  What are you looking forward to?  What do you dread the most?

     

     

     

  • 5/10

    Pinterest is a wonderful wedding planning tool. There are so many options, suggestions and design ideas that quite possibly anyone, even without a "crafting thumb" could follow the instructions and make something wonderful. For months, I have collected these ideas on my special secret wedding planning board and I even shared with others that my planning progress was right on track, primarily because I had…

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    5/8

    So, I'm not going to lie, I've done very little planning during the past couple of weeks. I finally was able to mail out our save the dates, and the verdict on our choice was very positive, which made me happy. My next meeting with Cathy (our venue coordinator) is in July, where I'll give her the first half of the payment for the wedding…

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    5/2

    Within a week of selecting our venue and wedding date, I started daydreaming (and night dreaming) about save the date magnets. I wanted to send out magnets with a photo of us with our date in a cute font and the wedding website and they would be perfect and cheap and so cute!  Everyone loved the idea. But then we told the Germans about my…

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  • 5/1

    Rehearsal Dinner Napkin available from Etsy seller MemorableWedding I finally had some time last weekend to buckle down get our invitations ordered, printed and mailed out, and our wedding website fully functional. This had me feeling the pressure like crazy -- now that people are actually going to RSVP to this thing, I really have to have my sh*t together (but to be honest, I…

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    4/24

    I will fully admit that I used to judge brides who claimed they were "sooooo stressed over wedding planning." Just as I've been forced to admit over the past seven years that I truly know nothing about parenting, I'm now eating my words about wedding planning. I got lucky in the fact that the venue comes with a built-in planner who will help me plan…

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    4/21

     This sponsored post is brought to you by Evite® and Olive Garden as part of the Evite® Influencer Program Wouldn't we all love to jet off and have a romantic destination wedding, especially somewhere as gorgeous as Tuscany? Unfortunately, with Broke-Ass budgets, dreamers can dream ... but, in that same vein, doers can make a dream come to life without even stepping on a plane.…

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  • 4/19

    Honeymoon Vibes shirt available from Etsy seller TheDailyTay Hello, it's me ... that Broke-Ass Bride who has been MIA for a bit. Life has been nuts! But let's not dwell on that; let's talk about fun, happy things ... like a honeymoon with your new husband. Russel and I both love to travel. He's spent time in Europe and Colombia among other places, and I just…

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