Broke-Ass Category: Real Brides

3/21

Affiliate Disclaimer NewEtsy MeganPadovanoDesigns Whole Lotta Nope Mug

Coffee Mug available from Etsy seller MeganPadovanoDesigns

We made all the big decisions within the first month of planning and everyone had advice for us.

I say this with love from the bottom of my heart: I didn’t care what anyone said.

From the “enjoy planning” to the “you need to do this first,” I ignored everyone. I didn’t want their advice. Guidance about how to go about the logistics of wedding planning, sure, if I’m asking. But advice? No. Keep it to yourself. I have this problem where I’m easy to read and it’s very difficult for me to hide the emotions because everything is visible on my face. I think people started to realize. Maybe it was my dead-eye stare or my RBF?

My bigger problem with taking advice was how to not be a bridezilla about whatever they said to me.  I’m still looking for help on this one, so I could probably use some guidance on this matter.

My next issue was people with suggestions.

Fun fact: EVERYONE will have suggestions that you “need” to do for your wedding.

Sometimes these suggestions are passive-aggressive comments from the family. Sometimes it’s your friends trying to be helpful. Sometimes it’s complete strangers who happened to hear from a cousin’s aunt’s best friend’s father-in-law that you’re getting married. Everrrryyyoooonnneee.

I’ve done pretty good at taking these suggestions, I like to think. Yet, I know there are some things that I’ve had to be downright rude about to get people to stop  There are also things I wish I had set my foot down about that I got pressured into doing (looking at you save-the-dates).

Have you received unwelcome advice and suggestions about your wedding?  Please share some of the stuff you’ve been graceful enough to endure.

  • 3/20

    I want to talk about our wedding party.

    There seem to be a lot of traditions and rules in North American/European anglophone culture surrounding bridesmaids and groomsmen that there is heavy pressure to follow. I imagine that if you have been reading my posts thus far, you probably know how I feel about arbitrary rules, especially if they are outdated, rooted in sexism or classism and/or expensive.

    SpongeBob Doesn't GAF

    (Coincidentally, its also how I feel about using outdated memes.)

    Here are some of the rules that I have observed (Although, I know that some of them are undergoing shifts, and there are many regional and cultural variations):

    • The bride must have a maid of honor and the groom must have a best man.
    • There must be an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.
    • Brides have bridesmaids, grooms have groomsmen.

    So, unsurprisingly, I am rejecting some of these rules.

    First of all neither of us have a clearly delineated “best friend” who we feel comfortable elevating over the others, and we both have multiple siblings. For some people, there’s an easy answer for who will be the best man and maid of honor. For us, there isn’t — so we aren’t going to have them.

    Second, Ev and I have friends of all genders, so we have a couple of bridesmen, and groomswomen.

    Given that we’ve known each other for 11 years, and have been dating for five, There are a few people who are as much my friend as his, and could as easily be on my “side” as his. He also makes friends more easily than I do, and has moved all over the country, so he’s asked seven people (five men, two of which are the potential overlappers, and two women) while I’ve asked four women. Whether separated by gender or by side, there’s not going to be symmetry. In lieu of either cutting people out, or asking more people, I just threw up my hands and said, “screw it.” The photos of us all together will be lopsided. We will deal.

    Therefore, we’ve established that it’s more of a collective “wedding party” than two separate ones.

    I know that this will create a few questions in terms of how that’s going to look in terms of bachelor/bachelorette parties, getting ready the morning of and so on, but I’m sure we will figure it out along the way, and handle it.

    To be continued …

  • 3/15

    Real Bride Ciji.Honeymoon

    Paradise, a place of timeless harmony. Yes, sign me up! That's exactly what I need after months of planning and a day of the best case of sensory overload that I anticipate I will ever feel. We just don't want to invest a TON of money into an amplified vacation, better known as our honeymoon. With that in mind, Travis and I sat down and mapped…

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    3/14

    20170307_165238

    Well, Chris, the girls and I went to our first bridal show, and it was certainly an experience. We're still in the having- a-tentative-date-but-nothing-actually-planned phase, which is not my favorite place to be as a chronic planner. The bridal show was held at a big conference center in a town not too far from us, so we loaded up the girls and headed down. I…

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    3/13

    Erica Kristen and I

    The four in the middle:  planner/doer, her fiance, me and my MOH When it comes time to pick your ladies to stand by you, take into consideration their particular skill sets before you ask them. I have an overwhelming six bridesmaids. I have one that is a doer and a planner. There’s an artsy one, one with a green thumb, a miniature one whose mom…

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  • 3/8

    toss

    I think I mentioned once or twice that our wedding was the best ever, and it really, truly was. From the weather to the food to the dancing and fun, it was everything we hoped it would be when when we started planning it 15 months prior. That said, there are always going to be minor mishaps, and we definitely had a few. I knew…

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    3/7

    Etsy KaufmanArt Pros-Cons Organizer Notepad

    Pros-Cons Organizer Notepad available from Etsy seller KaufmanArt When we left off, I was already projecting that we would go over-budget. Womp, womp. But we were about to make some decisions that could potentially alter how much I had to sacrifice. We agreed that we'd have about 100 people come to the big day. That would keep it "small" but "big" and would help keep…

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    3/1

    Real Bride Ciji Floral Event

    ... I am still on the hunt for a florist, how about you? The original plan was to keep the flower plan simple: bouquets and boutonnieres only. Well that plan is not realistic! Who was I kidding? I love fresh flowers and buy them weekly to decorate my house. A minimal flower presence at my wedding was a silly idea. What was I thinking?  I…

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  • 2/28

    20161224_191148

    Hey everyone! My name is Alissa, and I couldn't be more excited to try my hand at blogging my wedding experience! This is my first time blogging, so bear with me as I figure this out as I go (which could be said about my approach to wedding planning as well). Let me tell you a little about myself. I'm a New England girl who…

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