The Broke-Ass Bride

The Ride of our Lives: A pre-ceremony pitstop

When we left off…. I was just arriving at the ceremony site, along with the ladies of my bridal party. We took off our shoes before ascending the stairs, as was tradition at the Shumei Center, in whose Hollywood garden we had our ceremony.

I knew the time had come, and all I wanted was to peer out the upstairs window at the guests gathering, but I was quarantined upstairs so as to avoid being spotted by Hunter. We hid out in a spare room, and waited, all a-buzz with bridal delight.

Ta-Dizzle!

Our dear friends own a company specializing in tea, accessories, and gourmet goods called Algabar (in whose former shop I worked for years) which also offers marvelous tea-inspired catering as Fete du The. As a wedding gift to us, they offered to serve a ceremony refreshment, and we loved the idea!

They served our favorite tea cocktail that they had invented, The Mrs. Palmer: a lavender-infused lemonade blended with earl grey and lavender tea, (with an option to spike with vodka), and sweetened with lavender syrup. As soon as we got upstairs, I was all… “someone get this bride a drink!” Just one… to take the edge off. Hey, I may be an actress – but standing in front of everyone without a character to hide behind, is still intimidating. And, I was about to get freaking married!

wetting my wedding whistle

Our friends served the drinks in mason jars that I BrideShared with a bride I met on the indiebride kvetch forum, at a table off to the side of the ceremony seating. The guests later gushed about how much they loved and appreciated the tasty drinks.

Then of course, thanks to my drink and the nerves, I had to pee. Now, I am posting this out of love for you readers, and because I keeps it real. But you gotta know, it probably will happen to you. And you’ll need help. That’s what your maid of honor is for. That’s what sisters are for. So, ladies and gentleman (that’s you, dad)… I give you, The Broke-Ass Bride at her very finest!

It happens to the best of us...

I just had to post this picture because MaPo took it and I love it. (and in the hopes it will help you forget the previous photo)

Feels like a fairy tale.

Headpiece and earrings by TS Tiara

Next thing I knew, Sharlene our intrepid DOC, was upstairs telling the ladies it was time to line up for the processional. I quickly rallied the troops for some last-minute wall pushups to get strong and make ourselves feel ultra bad-ass.

for last minute toning...

And it was time to go! I took a moment to be alone upstairs after the girls left, to breathe, to give myself a moment. I gave myself a “be present” pep talk and felt a HUGE smile creep across my face. I was nervous, but mostly just excited and calm and steady and ready.

I could hear the processional music beginning, and I knew that everyone was lined up downstairs, ready to walk that aisle before me. That my father was waiting to walk with me on that path. That the garden would be full of my favorite faces and most beloved friends and family. I knew at the end of that aisle stood my husband.

The Ride of Our Lives: The Day I Became a Hubby part. 1

The Ride of our Lives: A Cinderella Story, part 1

I relished in every single minute of the “prettifying” part of my wedding day like it the sleepover party of my dreams. Surrounded by my favorite ladies (sisters Dawn and Kim, future SIL Cathy, bestie Mapo, future SIL Judith and my mom), getting the royal treatment, feeling full of joy, relaxed and openhearted, my body buzzing with anticipation. It was a fairy tale transformation that made me feel like a bad-ass princess, ready to take on the day, find my prince charming and waltz our way into our happily-ever-after.

Cinderella smile.

It started with my hairdresser Martina putting tight Shirley Temple curls all around my head….

Curlsplosion!

…which she then had to brush completely out to achieve the perfect look, before fastening my gorgeous, custom TS Tiara headband across me like a whimsical crystal halo.  At this point, Martina had been my hairdresser for nearly 2 years by the point we reached this day. She’s adorable and bubbly and warm, and she made my hair look ultrafly. I loved having her there to share in the excitement.

tying the knot before tying the knot.

Meanwhile, my dress was waiting patiently….. showing off for the camera.

with my coat of many colors.

Even the dresses had their own special makeover party.  A few days before the rehearsal, my wedding dress designer Deborah Lindquist saved the day by doing a last-minute alteration on my rehearsal dress.  When we picked it up, she thrilled us with a generous offer to come over the morning of the wedding not only deliver but steam my dress and help me into it. You might remember that I worked with Deb for nearly a year, after bartering a work-trade for a discount on the gown, and we bonded through that experience. I was so touched when she offered to come help.  That morning she surprised us by offering to also steam the bridesmaid’s dresses so everyone would look perfect. I felt so spoiled with love! Having her there was so special.

a colorful gaggle of tafetta.

I took care of some last minute hygiene (to make sure that first kiss would be as sweet as ever)

brusha brusha brusha!

And carefully nested the bottle of wine given to us by our friend Nick, who crafted us the most gorgeous box for the box ceremony….

here's hoping we don't meet again soon.

I swathed it in a vintage sari depicting the Baraat (an indian wedding processional) which was a recurring element in our paper goods.

yards of marital marching.

Paco wanted to wish me a happy wedding day, too.

today, we become a true family.

I checked in with my mom for some girlish giggly glee…

Mamaw, you look marvelous!

While my vows, our rings and a letter from our best homey in absentia to include in the box ceremony canoodled quietly.  Our rings are nestled into a seashell from the beach in San Felipe on which Hunter proposed to me. My dad fastened a bit of ribbon onto the lip of the seashell with epoxy, we strung a ring on each side, and tied a bow. That way it could be passed around during the Ring Warming Ceremony (more to come on that) in a ‘cradle of love’, as-it-were.

Our rings sat in a seashell from the beach where he proposed.

I inserted my “cutlets” and maid of honor Dawn felt me up to make sure they were secure. I needed them to fill out the bustier of my dress a little better. What can I say, I”m a proud member of the itty bitty titty committee. These cutlets would prove to be the only thing that save me from certain death by mortification later that night.

Tune in tokyo.

Our incredible makeup gal, Jessica Rinsky, put the finishing touches on my momma’s lips. We found Jessica at the Laura Mercier counter at Nordstrom – The Grove, in a moment of desperation after a failed makeup trial elsewhere and hired her on the spot. Her personality and talent were bright shining stars! I am very particular about makeup… but she made me and my mother glow as if it were completely natural. If you don’t like feeling like you’re wearing lots of makeup, and want a really natural radiance, I totes recommend Laura Mercier’s line.

a perfect pout.

Then it was my turn to hop in the (effing fabulous) chair once more to get my final touchups done.

My sweatpants said "Love this Life" across the rear. And how I do.

Painting on the perfect pucker.

Waterproof mascara please (I'm a crier).

Pucker up, buttercup!

My ladies each signed the sole of my shoe, so their support would keep me sure-footed through the day.

What a gorgeous momma I've got!

Mapo drew a margarita. She knows me too well.

Sister Kim left her mark while Paco made a fort underfoot.

Let's play dress up!

….Then it was time to get in the gown! Come back for part 2: Dress up time!

(Catch up on past recaps here. See more details in our wedding highlight video here.)

Holla-worthy Headbands

Oh hello. Could you get any cuter?

I require a few of these delicious creations from Old Soul New Heart. My mom thoughtfully forwarded me today’s Daily Candy featuring these sweeties, which is extra nice when you consider that the duo behind Old Soul New Heart is a mother-daughter team, who keep it real by mixing vintage notions with modern twists, and make a bad hair day into something fun. Headbands, necklaces, and belts – oh my, I just love them!

I also love the prices – everything is less than $65.  Wouldn’t a row of badass bridesmaids absolutely kill it in a sampling of these?  Maybe they’d dress up your rehearsal look with just the right amount of jazz?  I know my Tuesday would be greatly improved with a little headband action….

What about using one of these belts as a wedding dress sash?  I DIE!!!!

The trouble is, of course, deciding between them all!  Which one should I get?  Which is your favorite?

Her Pants May Stink – Her Invitations Do Not.

If you followed my wedding plans, you know there’s nothing I love more than custom illustrations. They add a level of personal flair and uniqueness that truly befits a wedding. We had custom drawings done for our save the dates, our invitations, and even for our maps and thank you cards (more to come on those later) – but if I could go back and do it again (or run into a future project that could use our cartoon likenesses), I’d have Sara from Stinkerpants Celebrations do something for us, too!

I love her sunny style and rich, colorful backgrounds! All her characters have tons of personality infused with the classic Stinkerpants touch. She makes a point of including little things that help define a couple’s style, and I love how quirky and sweet all of the designs are! Ultrafly!

Check out this cutesypie Venice themed Save the Date

Or this feast for the eyes tri-fold invitation – aren’t the settings the sweetest?

Her thank you cards give props in a personal and memorable way!

She also does greeting cards. I mean, who could resist this hysterical invitation? (ps: I have a photo of my MOH and BM holding up my dress while I pee, pre-ceremony. It happens to everyone!)

Thirsty?

Now, I might be a tad bit biased, since Sara is also the inimitable Mrs. Creampuff, but her creativity and talent here speaks for its adorable self! She also stands up for what she believes in, which I really admire, and has a sense of humor about her business that I really appreciate. See?

I hope y’all love her work as much as I do – it just makes me smile every time I see it!

‘Cuz a Girl Gotsta Eat…

There are few things that make me feel more pampered then a nice meal out when I don’t have to worry about every penny going into it; and few gifts please me better than that of good food for free. Let’s be real – who doesn’t love eating out? But honestly, who wants to pay full price? Not this broke-ass!

When I lived in Chicago, my favorite ‘in the know” deal was that a local radio station’s website had a 1/2 off section where you could score restaurant gift certificates for, you guessed it, half price! They had some of the best grubs in Chi-town on there… we even went to the uber-romantic Signature Room on our 3rd anniversary for half-price dinner!

Now there are tons of resources for similar deals in dining and entertainment, all over the US – and I’m all over that like curry on tofu! Many local radio and TV affiliates have the same kind of resources – so poke around and see what you can find! Try googling “half-price deals + your city”. I also find great results when I google “your city: mediawebconnect.com” like these for Los Angeles, New York, and Chicago.

Another super-duper deal resource is Groupon.com – which lists a new amazing deal in each of 17 cities (and growing) every day! The trick is that enough people have to want the deal for it to become available, so bookmark this site and make sure you give props to the best deals! But it doesn’t take many to get something available, and the savings are fantastic.

Looking to get your drink on, but can’t bear full bar prices? Check out unthirsty.com and use their happy hour finder! While they missed a couple favorite local happy hours of choice, they had a lot of new suggestions I hadn’t heard about before.

I highly endorse self-pampering, whether you be in the thick of wedding planning and need a night-off of cooking without the hefty price tag, or you’re celebrating an anniversary on a tight budget, or just because Monday and you want to! But, remember, restaurant gift certificates make terrific thank you gifts to parents, in-laws, bridal party members, and all those ’special helpers’ that make your wedding day beautiful. This way, you can give a substantial gift that won’t rock your bank balance too hard, and the lucky recipients will be loving you long time.

Or get creative and book your rehearsal dinner or day-after brunch somewhere that participates in these deals – you might be able to score some great gift certificates to use toward the bill! Trust me, your in-laws will love you for it!

What are your favorite online resources for cheap eats or nights out on the town?

A Fairie Tale Wedding, MaPo Style (Part 1)

Believe me when I tell you I can’t wait to start breaking down my wedding with recaps and photos, but I feel that waiting for the pro-pics is only fair. The guest pics that have been pouring onto facebook, however, are even dreamier and more wonderfully evocative of the whimsy and ferocious fun than I remember. It makes me even more drunk with gleeful anticipation to see them reflected through Dan’s glorious lens! But, I must wait. And so shall you

In the meantime, its time for a long overdue dose of wedding porn…. MAPO’S WEDDING – what what!?!? For you newbs, MaPo is my bestie back in the windy city. She was responsible for helping Hunter and I get together, and I later set her up with her (now) husband, Feta. We planned our weddings alongside each other and each stood up as eachother’s Maid of Honor/Best Lady. I threw her a raucous bachelorette party in LA, and she threw me a sick hen night in Chicago. She got married in January, and I’m excited to share her enchanting, fairietale winter wedding with you!

She got married at the Barn of Barrington – a medieval castle crossed with a barn in the very best of ways – which sadly closed last month (RIP). We all got ready in a room there, singing and laughing all day long. I made her a sweatshirt with a $10 kit from Target, for her to wear while getting ready…

MaPo enjoying her last homemade diet cherry vanilla coke of singledom, while Feta’s cousin styles her hair.

I had the great honor of helping her into her beautiful gown. She found this Nicole Miller dress at JCPenny, when she wasn’t even looking for one, and it was on sale for $90 people! It looked like a million angelic, sumptuous dollars and she says it was as comfortable as a nightgown. She was a vision of flowy goddesslike ethereal beauty.

And then, as if by magic, my bestie was a bride!

Her bouquet is DIY, from artificial flowers that she got at Michael’s. Her MIL helped her and it turned out gorgeously. We dabbed a bit of her wedding perfume onto it – it was perfect!

But she couldn’t walk down the aisle without reenacting the Shelby meltdown scene from Steel Magnolias with her college friend, Bex. (I must note that they are from Texas, and also that Bex later helped with our wedding, even though I only just met her then).

“Don’t worry Shelby, We’ll fix it!”

I was very emotional that day, and the Shelby thing got me criggling – you know, crying/giggling at the same time?

We took a few fun formals with our faerie wands that she found at Joann’s before MIL added some tulle and ribbon. (teaser: these inspired something in our wedding, too!).

She let us all pick our own black, knee-length-ish A-line dress – mine was from White House Black Market and I’ve already worn it again. We all wore silver shoes, which I got at Famous Footwear for $19.95 and I adore them.

Then it was time to go! I had a moment alone to hug my girl before I entered to Leona Lewis’ cover of Johnny Cash’s “The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face” – le sob.

Good God the expression on their faces just sums it all up!

The ceremony was really lovely. They found their minister, Jim, online at rentarev.com and I was blown away by his personal, charismatic and touching service. You’d have thought he knew MaPo and Feta as long as I have.

They each picked a surprise reading for eachother and asked a dear friend to read it. MaPo asked Hunter to read hers. It was a gifted performance, if I do say so myself!

I ain’t gonna lie: at this point I was all “this is gonna be us in just a few months, yo!” in my head.

The ceremony was held in the barnlike structure for which the place is named. It was decorated with twinkle lights and candles and felt like an old church in a rustic and warm way.

Who could be cuter than MaPo?

She started her vows to Feta, a diehard superhero fan, by stating “Feta, you are my hero.” She made me cry like a schoolgirl.

And the photographer, amazingly, caught my collapse, blow by blow:

Its like a flipbook, son!

They had the most tender and sexy yet still quite appropriate first kiss, evah.

And then they were MARRIED!

It was so heartwarming, and many aspects of MaPo’s ceremony definitely influenced our ceremony construct later because it was so tailored to MaPo and Feta’s story and so uplifting. It truly was a fairietale.

Stay tuned for Part 2: The PARTYTIMES!

all pro-photos from George Street Photography in Chicago

…and then there were three.

Originally, we had 4 people on each side of the bridal party. Now, not so much.

The other night Hunter’s best friend and “homey of honor” in our wedding, El, called to share the news that he had been cast in a very exciting and promising off-broadway version of Neil Gaiman’s book (and now movie) Coraline. We are so proud of him and were totally thrilled to hear it. But, he said, the director wouldn’t allow him to miss a performance to be in our wedding. Not a one. No. bueno.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Hunter more devastated. Young boys don’t dream much about their wedding day, but ever since he was a young boy, Hunter looked forward to the day his best friend stood next to him at his wedding. This is his duuuuude. You know what I mean. Every high school story begins with “this one time, me and El….”

The look on my poor man’s face was enough to break a nation’s worth of hearts. Of course, it couldn’t be helped. Of course, we 100% support El in this incredible opportunity and are beyond happy for him. But of course, having a best friend miss out on standing next to Hunter – or moreso, having Hunter miss out on his best friend being there, is a difficult letdown to reconcile.

There’s just no replacing El. Sure, our bridal party will be uneven, but who really cares? Its not about numbers, its about love. We sure will miss El’s love that day… but I know his spirit will be toasting the moment with us all.

Poor, poor Hunter, though. If MaPo were to step down, I can’t imagine how disappointed I’d feel. It’s just so sad for him. I can’t even fathom.

Ah, showbiz….. Let’s hope El wins a Tony, y’all

An Open Letter to JCrew

Oh JCrew,

What’s up with you? How is it possible that with such a gorgeous, playful and rich color line of bridesmaids dresses, you don’t offer ties to match for the groomsmen? Srsly. How hard could it be…. just take a bit of that leftover girly fabric, fold it over and sew it…. right? With such a beautifully unique line of bridal options, can we just get practical for a minute and say WTF?

I mean, I love love love my bridesmaid dresses. But now I’m stuck trying to find ties to match. And since I don’t own any of the dresses, and my bridesmaids all live in other states, I have nothing to carry around as a color swatch to compare against.

Let’s get with the program JCrew. You’re thisclose to being full-service wedding clothiers. Help a sister out. Let’s take the last step together and put my tie dilemma to bed for good.

Wistfully,
The Broke-Ass Bride